My perfect sub life

Subandrew · 01-19-2010, 11:46 AM

I have a problem in my life, in that in my sexual and personal desires, I can only get one extreme or the other.

I like to be submissive, i like a little pain, bondage, etc.. What most would call kinky stuff. But I also want a relationship.. going to the movies, out to dinner, etc. But I can't find someone who is into both.

To me there is a distinct line between bedroom stuff, and the rest of it, (aka you are not my master out at dinner, just when we are both playing). But so far all I can find is hard masters who want nothing more then an object, or the few guys ive met that ive talked to about being submissive get scared away.

Does anyone know if such a lifestyle exists? How do you find it? What challenges does one face in this type of relationship?

thegrosskid · 01-23-2010, 12:32 PM

Hey there!

Me and my boyfriend have this exact type of situation. At times, we take it out of the bedroom, for instance, once I "made" him wear a plug when we went out to dinner, but he gets off on the public part of it, haha. We have our fun, in and out of the bedroom but at the end of the day, we love each-other, as equals. The s/m stuff is a game

To answer your question, yes, it exists.

TrekBoy008 · 01-23-2010, 08:47 PM

I agree with thegrosskid. It exists, but it can be hard to find. I'm also the same way, I like the dom/sub stuff in the bedroom and occasionally lasting a little longer, but for the most part out of the bedroom I want a more "vanilla" relationship. Best of luck finding someone.

sweetsong · 01-27-2010, 12:08 PM

I'm with you too!

Although... I don't want every time we have sex to be kink-i-fied...

I think there's people who just like to play out there. You just have to be patient.

Ohhforf · 01-27-2010, 12:10 PM

This descripes the dream of by far the most members of Getdare, I just hope I can find a suitable one myself.

ty_la · 01-27-2010, 12:17 PM

That might be considered the kind of relationship me and my boyfriend have. He is by far the dominant one in the relationship. And although i don't refer to him as master, if he tells me to do something, i do it

. (his house, his rules) xD. But he takes me to movies and dinner, and stuff like that. But as far as the relationship goes, it's totally Sub/Dom. Altough our sex isn't always kinky, sometimes its just love-making.

The Laughing Fish · 01-29-2010, 07:37 PM

I'll have to echo the sentiments of others, and say that I sympathise, subandrew. This is the kind of relationship I'm looking for, definitely. I've had vanilla relationships, but my past girlfriends have had no interest in kink or femdom, proving utterly unreceptive to any gentle hints on my part. And when I've gone to the other extreme and searched online and looked at dominant female/submissive male personals, they are just looking for servitude, and often say they already have a partner and are not interested in a relationship, just a slave on the side.

If only there was some middle ground - but where to look? Perhaps I need to summon the guts to go to a fetish club... though I'm hopeless enough at picking up girls at regular clubs, never mind in that environment!

01-19-2010, 11:46 AM	#1
Subandrew Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 50	My perfect sub life I have a problem in my life, in that in my sexual and personal desires, I can only get one extreme or the other. I like to be submissive, i like a little pain, bondage, etc.. What most would call kinky stuff. But I also want a relationship.. going to the movies, out to dinner, etc. But I can't find someone who is into both. To me there is a distinct line between bedroom stuff, and the rest of it, (aka you are not my master out at dinner, just when we are both playing). But so far all I can find is hard masters who want nothing more then an object, or the few guys ive met that ive talked to about being submissive get scared away. Does anyone know if such a lifestyle exists? How do you find it? What challenges does one face in this type of relationship? __________________ Got dares/orders for me? 20/m/sub into: cbt, nipple/anal torture, wax, bondage, humiliation, exibitionism, dog rp, and anything else apart from... Will NOT do: scat, blood, needles, family

01-23-2010, 08:47 PM	#3
TrekBoy008 getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Greater Boston Area Posts: 310	I agree with thegrosskid. It exists, but it can be hard to find. I'm also the same way, I like the dom/sub stuff in the bedroom and occasionally lasting a little longer, but for the most part out of the bedroom I want a more "vanilla" relationship. Best of luck finding someone. __________________ "Words are, in my not so humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic, capable of both inflicting injury and remedying it." ~ Albus Dumbledore (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

01-27-2010, 12:08 PM	#4
sweetsong getDare Succubus Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: ♥ In your dreams ♥ Posts: 1,733 Blog Entries: 98	I'm with you too! Although... I don't want every time we have sex to be kink-i-fied... I think there's people who just like to play out there. You just have to be patient. __________________ . siggy made by stellz [03:54:06 PM] jamness: ‹@G.J.› She... kisses and stuff... shes weird. [03:54:39 PM] G.J.: ‹@jamness› That seems like normal Sweets to me XD

01-27-2010, 12:10 PM	#5
Ohhforf Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Somewhere in Denmark, gah! Posts: 158	This descripes the dream of by far the most members of Getdare, I just hope I can find a suitable one myself. __________________ I'm not the workout kind of person, okay?

01-29-2010, 07:37 PM	#7
The Laughing Fish Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Scotland Posts: 203	I'll have to echo the sentiments of others, and say that I sympathise, subandrew. This is the kind of relationship I'm looking for, definitely. I've had vanilla relationships, but my past girlfriends have had no interest in kink or femdom, proving utterly unreceptive to any gentle hints on my part. And when I've gone to the other extreme and searched online and looked at dominant female/submissive male personals, they are just looking for servitude, and often say they already have a partner and are not interested in a relationship, just a slave on the side. If only there was some middle ground - but where to look? Perhaps I need to summon the guts to go to a fetish club... though I'm hopeless enough at picking up girls at regular clubs, never mind in that environment! __________________ LIMITS The 4 Ps - Poo, Public, Pain and Permanent.

01-23-2010, 12:32 PM	#2
thegrosskid Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 4	Hey there! Me and my boyfriend have this exact type of situation. At times, we take it out of the bedroom, for instance, once I "made" him wear a plug when we went out to dinner, but he gets off on the public part of it, haha. We have our fun, in and out of the bedroom but at the end of the day, we love each-other, as equals. The s/m stuff is a game To answer your question, yes, it exists.

01-27-2010, 12:17 PM	#6
ty_la getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Canada Posts: 469	That might be considered the kind of relationship me and my boyfriend have. He is by far the dominant one in the relationship. And although i don't refer to him as master, if he tells me to do something, i do it . (his house, his rules) xD. But he takes me to movies and dinner, and stuff like that. But as far as the relationship goes, it's totally Sub/Dom. Altough our sex isn't always kinky, sometimes its just love-making.