Toilet Quest - Chapter 2

[tigerclawz]

The Adventure continues in chapter 2!

If you have not played the first part, please do so here:

http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=257936

(or at least read up on the rules and safety advise)

__________________________________________________ __________

Chapter 2 - New beginnings

After a long and adventurous day, you settle in for a good night´s sleep between that barn and the tavern.
Suddenly, an unmistakeable stench warns you of the danger coming your way! It´s the troll from earlier! He and his club-mates look furious! Now you remember: When signing your club application, you forgot to re-ink your quil and make that crucial cross in the little box on the parchment where it says: End user agreement - terms and conditions. For complex legal reasons, the Heaven´s Deamons now want to bash your head in.

You run.

Luckily, you encounter a group of young men. Feeling safe as long as there would be witnesses, you join in, pretending to be part of the group.
Soon, you realise where you are heading. It´s the Iron Legion´s recruitment office!
The Iron Legion is a semi-official grout of elite solders and mercenaries carrying out the grittier tasks in the name of king and country.
The other new recruites prepare for their journey to Fort Greyfurt, where all new recruites find their first asignment.
Scared of continued persecution from the Daemons and having no real backstory to keep you here, you feel that you might aswell join the Legion!

Also, you´d love that free pint offered to all new members (have 1 pint of water).

After this, your new commanders tell you, that you will now travel to Fort Greyfurt, where you will be able to freshen up (use of the Fort´s bathroom included!), only to be sent on your first mission right after this.

******

Everyone gets ready to head for Fort Greyfurt. The officers and most of the regulars take the king´s road, leading to the Fort. A solid brick road, meandering peacefully along the river you came across yesterday.
However, some of the bolder new recruites want to prove their metal by taking a shortcut right through the forest of Gob.
There is actually a stand-by wizzard on teleport duty, but based on how old and confused he looks, noone dares use his services for fear of teleportation side-effects...
How will you travel?

a) The road. Play it safe!

Spoiler:

After a quiet, long, boring walk you reach Fort Greyfurt and head for the toilets like anyone else. (wait 45 min then go pee (last chance in a while!))

b) The forest sounds fun and exiting!

Spoiler:

You make it to the Fort much quicker than anyone else, even though half way through, you had to climb over some pretty inconvenient piles of lumber (wait 30 min, half way through the wait, do 10 mountain climbers. After the wait, go pee.)(this should all still be very easy unless you come straight form chapter 1 with a still-filled bladder...)

c) The wizzard - what could go wrong?

Spoiler:

You are relieved to instantly find yourself right where you should be . You are the first in line for the bathroom now, everyone else has yet to arrive! You head for the toilets right away, only to notice that you cannot find relief. After a few moments of trying in vain, you come to accept that the teleport took it´s toll after all. The wizzard gave you a shy bladder. A bit later, the symptoms are gone, but now everyone else arrives and shoves past you. Looks like you missed your chance to pee! (Depending on your choises at the end of chapter 1, this might actually mean that you have to complete the upcoming adventure with a bladder still without relief since the start of chapter 1. Poor you, if that is the case :(

********

Fort Greyfurt offers plenty of opportunities for a fresh, young mercenary like yourself.
Having relieved yourself (or tried to, anyway), you and everyone else head to the misssion room where scrolls are nailed to diferent wooden posts around all 4 walls.
On each scroll, there are the details for a mission you and your new brothers-in-arms may take on.
Usually, you may take as musch time as you like between missions and use the facilities in the Fort to rest between adventures. However, as new recruits, you have to complete on adventure of your choise striaght away!

On the nearest billboard, there are several suitable missions for you to choose from. (Well, I have only written one of them so far so that somewhat limites your options...)
Eager to earn some serious coin, you join your first mission right away.


[Once you have completed any of the missions, you can use the bathrooms of Fort Greyfurt freely at any time. Use them all you like before, after and between your adventures. That means you can play those missions individually and take a few days between them in real life, if you like. Use a piece of paper to keep track of the total gold you´ve earned. You may need it in chapter 3 some day.
The missions can be completed once every 24 hours.
Obviously, if you need to pee before you have returned to Fort Greyfort, you have failed the mission and do not get any gold at all.]

[tigerclawz]

Mission: Raid on Goblin Camp

reward: 50 gold// lengh: shortish// drinking: moderate


Goblins threaten the nearby lands! You decide to join a group of young warriors who are keen on claiming the bounty on the goblin chieftain´s head and earning some extra coin.
You head to the Fort Greyfurt armoury to prepare yourself for the task ahead.
Choose your weapon! You may not change your mind for the rest of this mission.

A. Bow and arrow
B. Sword and shield
C. Boxing gloves (really??)
D. Um wait, wasn´t I a wizzard or something? Spellbook maybe?

___________________________________________

1. Your Party takes a nice, refreshing mead in the local Inn before heading out towards the goblin-infested hills of Dnal-Nilbog. (Drink 1 pint)
After 10 minutes, you see the palisades of their encampment rising above the horizon.
There is a lone guard in leather armor protecting the encampment. Beeing the new guy, you are volunteered to secretly take out the guard without raising any alarm.
You sneak up on him with the weapon you chose back in the Fort.

a) Bow an arrow

Spoiler:

You fire your arrows at the goblin, knowing one hit will kill him quietly. However, the goblin guard looks strong and able, capable of doing quite a bit of damage with those javelins of his.
[Position a waste-paper basket or bin 5 meters away from you, then throw a crumbled-up piece of paper into it. Every time you miss, the goblin hits you with a spear and you lose one HP]

b) Sword and shield

Spoiler:

You crawl towards the goblin, using some tall grass as cover. Unnoticed, you rise behind him and dispach of him with one steady, well-aimed strike.
[on all fours, crawl to the most distant part of your house or flat and back. If not possible (awkward encounter with family?), hide under your desk on all fours for 5 min.]

c) Boxing gloves

Spoiler:

You crawl towards the goblin, using some tall grass as cover. Unnoticed, you rise behind him and... punch him a bit? He fights back with a dagger. With your superior strength and height, you finally knock him out, but not before suffering a nasty cut on your upper leg.
[on all fours, crawl to the most distant part of your hose or flat and back. If not possible (awkward encounter with family?), hide under your desk on all fours for 5 min. Lose 3 HP! ]

d) Spell book

Spoiler:

You get your goblins confused with your demons. You sneak up on the guard, and mumble your incantation. Oddly enough, the goblin was actually posessed by a demon after all. (what are the odds?) You send the demon back to hell, and the lifeless body of thegoblin guard falls to the ground silently.
[google the exorcism spell from the tv show "Supernatural" – learn it by heart an recite it flawlessly without looking. Only then may you continue]

******

You may have lost some hitpoints during this last encounter. You start each mission with 10 HP. If you fall down to 0 HP, you have lost the adventure and return to the fort without getting any loot.
For now, one of your new comrades gives you a free health potion. You may use it any time, even in the midst of a battle, to restore 5 HP by drinking one cup of water.

_______________________________________________

2. After heavy rains the previous night, a muddy trench has formed naturally. It blocks your party from entering deeper into the goblin camp. How do you cross it?

a) Suck it up and walk right through.

Spoiler:

[wear wet socks for the rest of this adventure]

b) Jump over the mud and water in one huge, majestic leap.

Spoiler:

[You slip and make an utter fool of yourself in front of everybody on your first day. Also, you swallow some of the dirty water (drink one cup of water and lose 2 HP). ]

c) Just walk around the puddle.

Spoiler:

[The water goes further to both sides then you expected. You get completely lost on your way back. It takes you 15 minutes to find your group again. (wait 15 min.)

_________________________________________________

3. A grout of three powerful goblin brawlers charges at your party! Use that weapon you brought along!

a) Bow and arrows

Spoiler:

A perfect shot! You shoot the attackers down with ease before your allies can even draw their swords. Exhausted from all that Shooting, you revard youself with 1 cup of water from your flask.

b) Sword and shield

Spoiler:

You and the goblins break into some heavy swordplay. A tough fight!
[Roll the dice until all three goblins are defeated. Remember to use your health potion if you get low on HP during the battle, if you still have it.]

1. Exhausted from the battle, you and the goblins take a short break so that everyone can drink 1 cup of water.
2. Parrying each others' attacks, you and the goblins fight on for another 5 minutes (wait 5 min)
3. You take a minor hit and lose 1 HP.
4. Encouraged by the rest of the party cheering you on, you roll +2 on your nex roll!
5. You get a cramp in your shield hand! Next time you roll a 1, 2 or 3, the penalty is doubled!
6. (or more) Lucky strike! You kill one of the goblins!

c) Boxing gloves

Spoiler:

If possible, get a kinky friend or partner in for this one. You must beat the three goblins in a game of dead arms.
The goblins may be brutal and savage, but they do have a sence of honour. The decide to fight you one by one and without using their weapons.
The first goblin attacks.
[Toss a coin. Heads, you knock him out, tails: your friend gets to give you a dead arm (alternatively, punch yourself in the arm as hard as you can) and you lose 1 HP. (remember, you can use that HP potion anytime you want if you haven´t used it up already).

d) A spell book

A spell book is no use unless you can spell!
Which spelling is correct? (Do not google!)

a) necessary

Spoiler:

[well-done! The goblins are frozen by a shard of ice hurled from your magic hands!]

b) neceserry

Spoiler:

[wrong! Drink 1 cup of water and try again]

c) necasarry

Spoiler:

[wrong! Drink 1 cup of water and try again]

d) nessisserry

Spoiler:

[wrong! Drink 1 cup of water and try again]

____________________________________________

4. You come across the entrance of a natural cave. Exploring it might yield some extra loot from this mission, but will also consume extra time. What do you do?

a) Leave it alone

Spoiler:

[move on to encounter 5]

b) Just have a quick look inside.

Spoiler:

You find a treasure chest and take 10 gold from it. You see a path leading deeper down into the hill but choose not to follow it least you might fall behind and lose your group. (wait 15 min, then do encounter 5)

c) Explore all of it!

Spoiler:

You find a treasure chest and take 10 gold from it. You see a path leading deeper down into the hill and choose to follow it. Deep inside the caverns below the hill, you find another 15 gold and a healing potion!
You make your way back out. (wait 15 min).
As you emerge from the cave, you notice that your party is gone and that you are faced with three more goblin warriors.
(repeat encounter 3 then move on to encounter 5).

_____________________________________________

5. You have found the lair of the goblin chieftain. One of your comrades offers you another healing potion. You can use it now or keep it for later, but all potions are destroyed at the end of a mission because the sell-by date expires.
The chieftain hurls a shadowbolt at you!
Use your equipment to defend yourself!

a) Bow and arrow

Spoiler:

Being an archer, you are found at the back of your group and out of reach of the magical attack. However, you just ran out of arrows. It takes you some time to collect some spare ammunition from the ground (wait 10 min).

b) Sword and shield

Spoiler:

You hide behind your shield and only suffer 1 HP damage.

c) Boxing glove

Spoiler:

You punch the aproaching bolt of pure magical energy, which is pointless. You lose 3 HP.

d) Spell book

Spoiler:

You use your spell book to errect a magic barrier! Grab the heaviest book nearby, and hold it face-high, with arms stretched out all the way forward, for 3 minutes. If you fail, lose 3 HP.

______________________________________________

6. Now, it is your turn to attack!

a) Bow and arrow

Spoiler:

Determine your agility by seeing how many keepy uppies you can do with a small football or hacky sack. (if you have none, the answer is 0)
The goblin chieftain rolls a saving throw of 3d6 against your agility. [in english: roll a dice three times. This is how often you have to kick a ball in the air without it toching the ground]

b) Sword and shield

Spoiler:

Determine your strength by seing how many push-ups you can do.
The goblin chieftain rolls a saving throw of 4d6 against your strength. [in english: rolla dice four times. This is how many push ups you must do]

c) Boxing glove

Spoiler:

Test your will power by watching a 5 minute videoclip of your favorite comedian without laughting.

d) Spell book

Spoiler:

Prove your charisma by writing a limerick about how this adventure is going for you so far. Post it in this thread.

*******************************

If your attack was successful:

Spoiler:

After 10 minutes of fighting, the goblin chieftain falls to the ground, slain. (wait 10 min)

If your attack failed:

Spoiler:

You are struck by a throwing axe that leaves you with a nasty flesh wound. After 30 minutes of desperate fighting, your party finally defeats the goblin chieftain and he falls to the ground, slain. (lose 5 HP, wait 30 min and continue.)

Your party celebrates the victory with some well-deserved mead. (drink 1 cup of water).
You return to the local sherrif to claim your reward. (wait 15 min, then recieve 50 gold).

You are now returning to Fort Greyfurt. You can call it a day, put the money (50-75 gold, depending on your choises) in your stash and relief yourself in the Fort´s luxurious bathroom.
However, if you want to have some fun and torture your bladder some more, there is a bonus encounter available – after all, the fun part starts only after the first few cramps, right? :-P

=============================================

7. Just as you are about to enter the toilets for some much needed relief, the leader of your party, a grim-looking axe wielder by the name of Odinson, tall, buff, blond, stops you with a mean grin.
"Aww, does our new puppy need to go weeeee? Does he have a little girly bladder?", he taunts you. You´re not taking that from anybody! You can see, that he, too, is standing with his legs crossed and looking towards the bathroom door with some desire – he must be quite desperate himself!
However, he is a strong warrior with a strong will and, presumably, a strong bladder. You call him out: "You look close to a little accident yourself, huh?" - "you wanna bet? I challenge you to a holding contest – first to pee get´s the other´s bounty! And no chickening out! Do you accept?"
You think about his challenge. All those potions are sure pressing on your bladder by now. You wont last much longer. However, Odinson is squirming already – his bladder is at it´s limits, or so you hope. You could sure use those extra 50 coins, but you don´t want to lose your 50. However, if you ever want to gain the respectof your new party of warriors, you can´t back down from such challenges forever.
If you accept, you and Odinson sit down at a long wooden table, facing each other. You will not stand up until one of you has suffered defeat.

Spoiler:

Roll a dice. This is how long your opponent can hold it. Try holding it for that long. If you succeed, you gain 50 extra gold, you lose 50 if you fail. You cannot give up, you need to sit at your compuer until you win or wet yorself

1) Seeing your injuries, your opponent is convinced he can outlast you and gains some confidence. Odinson was just 10 minutes from an accident, but now he lasts an extra 5 min für every HP you are below 10. (e.g.: if you have 5 HP; you have to wait 10 min + 5 x 5 min = 35 min.
2) He was bluffing! After just 5 min, your opponent loses it! Lucky you.
3) He was near his limits... After 15 min,your opponent loses it!
4) As soon as Odinson sits down with an evil grin, you know that you´ve underestimated him! You will have to hold it for one more hour in order to defeat him.
5) Odinson is absolutely desperate, but seeing the poor state you´re in, your bulging bladder and all those injuries weakening your will, he finds the strenght to hold on.
He lasts 10 min für every HP you are below 10. (e.g.: if you have 5 HP; you have to wait 5 x 10 min = 50 min.
6) Through a supreme act of willpower, Odinson manages to hold on for another 30 min.

[tigerclawz]

(Mission 2 coming soon)

[tigerclawz]

(Mission 3 coming soon)

[baby916]

I still havent went to the loo, since chapter one.

Hurry up please

[baby916]

I didnt go wee yet.

Btw, im only on my phone atm.

I cant do spoilers/make them.