My thoughts as a submissive

[slavekarthi]

Hello masters and mistress' and my fellow submissives,

I wake up every morning and realise I am all alone without a mistress to control the submissive within me. I become disappointed with the fact that I am waking up with my clothes on and my hands free. It has been 2 years since I realised I was more of a slave than a master. It all started when I was trying to control a fellow submissive for the first time in real life and I realised that I was not able to exert that amount of domination, which is a story for another day. Since that day I became a submissive more and more each day. I have always felt that my male parts were not of the appropriate size to qualify as a male part. This coupled with my feeling of submissiveness made me feel that I shouldn't be treated like a man but as a little stupid girl. Every day I tried to and still try to control myself but then I am a slave who doesn't even have the power to exert dominance over myself. (The experiences of my self dominance are actually pretty hilarious and will surely share it in another article.) The satisfaction of fulfilling a mistress's wish came nowhere near anything.

I would give anything in this world to please my mistress and to give her the pleasure of humiliating me, dominating me and punishing me. These thoughts haunt me throughout the day and makes me desperate to look for a mistress. Looking for a mistress is not an easy thing. Few mistress' ask me about my location and I say India and that becomes the end of the conversation. Most of the mistress' whom I had the pleasure of serving as an Indian slave, initially liked me but as time progresses, when I say time progresses I mean the next hour or the next day, they start trying and forcing me to break me by pushing my limits. Even though as a slave I know I shouldn't have any limits, I have certain limits. They help in protecting me against any physical injury and my status in my society. And few of my limits are more like dislikes and I would be more than willing to explore them with the help of my mistress in the long run. But every person I chat with uses me for few days and then just disappears. I enjoy being used like that but my heart aches for a mistress of my own.

A mistress who would love to dress me up in skirts and panties. A mistress who would entice me and at the same time deny me pleasure. Isn't that the dream? I really worked hard to find a mistress. I created accounts in kik, fetlife, getdare, kink talk, alt, virtual dom, facebook and skype. There were all kinds of threads. I gave a try in almost all of them. I participated in the games and posts. There were tons of threads which promised me that it would assign me a mistress or let me participate in video humiliation. I just kept waiting day after day for something to pop up and I am still waiting. It has become a daily ritual for me to boot my laptop, open the hidden chrome browser and middle click on all the above website thumbnails and looking for a message in my inbox with great disappointment. I have no idea what I am doing wrong.

I am writing this article with desperation and hope that a mistress would atleat help me in disciplining the submissive within me or at least help me in finding what is it that I am doing wrong. I just wish someday a mistress would appear and she would like my likes and dislike my dislikes and push my limits.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

I am writing for the very first time. I sincerely apologise for any mistakes or if any of the content had made you angry. Please feel free to punish this slave for my mistakes if you would like to. And any suggestions or queries are most welcomed. I will work hard and reduce my mistakes in my upcoming articles. If you would like to know more about me please send me a private message.

- Slave Karthi, 22, Straight, Sissy Male Slave, India.