All About the Butt

[Butterfly]

In the near future, I would like to see a completely new section devoted to getDare Mentorship & Education. My hopes is that this will be a section devoted to discussing important topics and answering questions that people may have, no matter their experience level is. I also think it would be a great place to share resources that may be scattered throughout getDare, as well as in other places on the internet.

In the meantime, I am going to create designated threads in the advice section that will focus on one topic. Each topic will have discussion questions, as well links to any resources that I have found. People are encouraged to answer their questions, share their opinions, definitions or experiences as well as link to any resources they have found helpful. You may also ask questions relating to that topic and others can help answer them.

The only rules (other than the getDare posting rules) is that everybody be respectful to others. No personal attacks will be tolerated.

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TOPIC: All About the Butt

In this thread, I would like to focus on everything anal.

What do you like about anal play?

How did you first get interested in anal play?

What are your anal safety tips?

What is your advice for anal beginners?

Have you ever experienced a close call, scary situation or anal injury?

What anal toys do you recommend? Not recommend?

Please feel free to share your experiences, definitions, opinions and any resources you find many be helpful.

[Butterfly]

Now, a lot of these are blogs that I have written myself, just because I know where to find them, but please feel free to post your own resources and I would be happy to add them to my list:

Tips & Blogs
Anal Tips for Beginners - By Butterfly

Not in your Butt - By Butterfly

Enema Mishaps - By Butterfly

Anal Stretching, advice from a gaper - By sexunseen

Thread: Anal plugs & Tips

Toy Reviews
Mood Naughty Anal Plug - By Butterfly

Ceramix Plug - By Butterfly

[sciencegal]

Anal is one of my likes that I’ve had from the beginning. Surprisingly enough, anal was one of the first things that I explored when I became sexually active. I liked the feeling of having something inside my ass and I believe I started out using a permanent marker. It’s different than vaginal penetration for sure, but I find it equally pleasurable. For me, anal gives me a sensation that often ties directly to my vagina. I often feel pleasurable convulsions when my sphincter grips down on the object inside me. I can’t say what specifically got me interested in anal play, but I know that once I saw what it was, I was hooked.

My advice for anal beginners: go slow and do not be afraid of lube. This seems very basic, but the worst thing you can do is try to do anal play dry. You can run into all sorts of problems, like objects getting stuck or tearing, which can lead to serious medical issues (infection, trips to the ER, etc). I also know that not everyone has the means to buy a sex toy right away, or cannot keep one due to living situations. Be safe when selecting household items to use. Think about the shape. If you do not have something like a butt plug, that has a stopper to keep the object from fully inserting, you will need to be careful. You do not want to insert an object like a dildo fully because you run the risk of it getting stuck. Vegetables are a popular item; be aware that fruits and vegetables are coated in pesticides usually. It’s important to wash them and if at all possible use a condom in addition. You absorb directly through your colon (which is why you need to be very careful with what you use in enemas as well), so be aware that anything you put inside you needs to be thoroughly cleaned beforehand.

Safety is very important with anal play. The colon does not self-lubricate like the vagina does, so you will want to be sure to use lots of lube. I touched on some safety tips already, but cleanliness is really very important. Also, if you are planning to do multiple enemas, be aware that your body does absorb some of the liquid when you retain one. It is wise to add a tiny amount of salt to each enema to help keep your body from absorbing too much. You can in fact become over-hydrated, which is a very serious medical problem.

As for toys, try to choose a body-safe material. Glass, stainless/surgical steel, and medical grade silicone are my top choices. Avoid the “jelly” material toys whenever possible. These toys actually break down with time. If you use them over an extended period, you can actually develop a painful rash and worse from the chemical leaching out. Think about the shape of the plug and base as well when selecting a toy. If you wish to walk around with a toy for a bit of hidden public or as part of your daily life, you will likely want to avoid rounded bases (the base is the part that sits outside your body and acts as a stopper to keep the plug from going completely inside your ass). In my experience, I’ve found that round bases tend to get annoying when moving around a lot as they put a lot of pressure on your butt cheeks. This can create a rubbing/pinching sensation, which in my experience can become very unpleasant. Rectangular bases are the most comfortable that I've found as they sit between your butt cheeks much better. There are several options that feature a slight curvature in the center of the base, near the neck. These are very comfortable as they allow your butt cheeks to comfortably adjust around the base. If you plan to wear a plug for several hours, you will also want to keep extra lube with you. Keep it in a baggie so that if you need to take the plug out for any reason at all, you have somewhere to safely store it (since trying to wash a plug in a public bathroom probably isn’t going to happen). In addition, try to find a plug with a longer neck (the area from the base to the actual larger plug part). This will keep the pressure further from your anus. Plugs that have a very short base tend to have the bulk of the pressure sensation right at your anus; I’ve found that when the pressure is higher, it gives you a more “full feeling” which is more pleasurable in my opinion. A longer neck also takes the pressure off of your anus, which helps your muscle relax.

Most of this is very general safety advice, but it can’t be said enough.

[Butterfly]

Originally Posted by sciencegal

You absorb directly through your colon (which is why you need to be very careful with what you use in enemas as well), so be aware that anything you put inside you needs to be thoroughly cleaned beforehand.

This is SO important! When it comes to enemas, you have to make sure you are hydrated because if not, your body is just going to soak it all up. A lot of people experiment with soap, or coffee or even alcohol in their enemas, and you have to be really careful. You can overdose on coffee or get drunk from an enema. When choosing what you are putting in your enema, don't put anything in there that wouldn't be safe to put in your mouth.

Originally Posted by sciencegal

Think about the shape of the plug and base as well when selecting a toy. If you wish to walk around with a toy for a bit of hidden public or as part of your daily life, you will likely want to avoid rounded bases (the base is the part that sits outside your body and acts as a stopper to keep the plug from going completely inside your ass). In my experience, I’ve found that round bases tend to get annoying when moving around a lot as they put a lot of pressure on your butt cheeks. This can create a rubbing/pinching sensation, which in my experience can become very unpleasant. Rectangular bases are the most comfortable that I've found as they sit between your butt cheeks much better. There are several options that feature a slight curvature in the center of the base, near the neck. These are very comfortable as they allow your butt cheeks to comfortably adjust around the base.

Keep in mind that everybody is different and some people actually find that the round base is most comfortable for their body. I did want to mention that if a plug is not feeling comfortable for long term wear, but you still want to try, don't overdo it with that particular plug. Instead, try something different. A different shape or material can make a world of difference.

Also start slow and build your tolerance slowly. People who wear plugs for 24 hours didn't just throw one in and leave it there, they worked up to that point and they also make sure to take care of the plug while it is in. They take it out for short breaks, washroom visits and to relube.

Thanks sciencegal for the wonderful tips!

[Butterfly]

I am just going to post this here (from my blog titled "Anal Tips for Beginners") even though I posted my link above. I want to make sure that people get this information.

Probably because of my name, I seem to receive a lot of questions about anal play. I enjoy anal play, so I never mind helping somebody who is starting out. After talking to a several users this weekend about this very topic, I thought it might be useful if I wrote a blog that included any tips or safety precautions I thought people should know or keep in mind while embarking on their own anal adventure.

LUBE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you are going to stop reading this blog after reading only one point, it has to be use lots of lube. How much lube? LOTS! There really is no such thing as too much. Unlike your penis or vagina, our body doesn't naturally lubricate our anal cavity. If you don't use enough lube than you will be very uncomfortable and can even hurt yourself and cause tearing and bleeding.

Of course, it isn't just the amount of lube, but what type of lube you use as well. If you are going to go to the store and buy lube, any type of water based lube will work fine. However, I would suggest getting a specially formulated lube for anal play. Usually these lubes are thicker and slipperier. They also last longer.

If you aren't able to buy actual lube, and are going to use something around the house (I do not recommend using household products for anal play), remember that some things shouldn't be used internally. However if you MUST and are going to anyways, things like baby oil, or vaseline are better choices. DO NOT use things that are perfumed, like hand lotion and NEVER use soap. Also spit is not enough.

If you are going to keep a toy inside you for a long period of time, like a plug, use lots of lube, and then reapply often.

Choose the right object
Some objects are not designed to be inserted in your ass (see video "Not in your butt"). I would recommend that you start small.

A great place to start is your finger. However, make sure that you trim your fingernails so that there are no sharp edges. Also make sure that you do not have any open cuts. Lastly, clean your hands really well, including under your nails. You can also buy little finger condoms that are helpful as well.

Once you are ready to play with something bigger than a finger, make sure you use toys that are designed specifically for anal play. There are many toys on the market that are safe to use. (If you would like help choosing toys, I LOVE toy shopping and would love to recommend something).

The feature that makes these toys safe for anal play is their flared base or handle which prevents it from slipping inside you. The anal cavity is not a closed cavity like the vagina, so if it slips inside you, it is possible for it to become stuck.

Extra caution should be taken when you choose to use objects like pens, markers or food items. Even dildos and vibrators can be dangerous if there is no base to prevent it from slipping inside.

If you do get an object stuck inside you. Try not to panic. The easiest way to get it out, would be to sit on the toilet and push as if you are going to have a bowel movement. If the object does not come out on its own, you WILL need to go to the ER, as objects can get lost inside you and it is NOT safe.

Go slow and relax
There is no rush when it comes to anal play. Once your finger or toy is lubed up, gently place it against your ass and push firmly but gently. Relax your muscles. If you push as if you are going to the bathroom, it will help your muscles relax and allow the object to be inserted.



If you feel any pain, STOP. Pain is not normal. Pain is our bodies way of telling us that something isn't right. It is normal to feel uncomfortable, or like a lot of pressure. But if there is pain, you aren't doing something right.

Side note: Beware of numbing creams. They may seem like a good idea because it can help you relax and feel more at ease, but remember what I said about pain being our indicator that something isn't right. If you are unable to feel pain, you won't know when you are being too rough or going too fast, and an injury can happen without you realizing it.

People call it anal training for a reason. Today, you might only be able to tolerate putting one finger inside you for a minute. But tomorrow, you can try to put a second finger, or keep it in for longer. Like anything else, practice makes perfect. You wouldn't go to the gym and expect to lift 200 lbs on your first day, so just go slow and build up your tolerance over time.

Prepare yourself properly
Anal can be messy, get over it!. There are many ways to prepare yourself for anal play or anal sex that will reduce the chances of things getting messy, but you can never completely remove that chance. One of the most common ways is to give yourself an enema. However, this isn't always necessary (and it is actually unsafe to receive an enema on a regular basis) and there are other ways.

DO NOT restrict your diet or eat extra fiber or anything silly before playing. I have heard people say that you can prevent the mess, if you try not to eat at all the day of, or clean yourself out by taking a laxative. Both of these options will upset your stomach and will make it more difficult to really relax.

A better alternative is to poop before playing. If you empty your anal cavity and then shower and clean yourself, you will be sufficiently clean for solo play. If you are more experienced and want to clean yourself for anal sex, or anal play with a partner, using your finger while in the shower to clean yourself works well too.

Stay clean and healthy
As I stated before, anal play can messy. But even if you don't see a mess, germs can be spread and can cause infections. Make sure that before you start, you have a towel ready to put any toys you use on.

Wash your hands and any toys that you are going to use before you start playing with them. Make sure to clean them extra well afterwards. Soap and water should be enough if you do it well, but some toys are also dishwasher safe or can be boiled. There are also a lot of liquid toy cleaners on the market.

Once a toy has been used in your ass, it CANNOT go anywhere else, except to be cleaned. Do not put a toy that was used in your ass, into your vagina. You can cause very bad infections.

Also, do not share anal toys unless the toy has been cleaned really well. If you are planning on sharing anal toys, using a condom is a great precaution.

When having anal sex, using a condom is highly recommended. Germs can get inside a mans urethra and cause infection there as well. If you choose not to do this, then make sure you wash very thoroughly after sex. And your penis needs to follow the same rules as a toy. Once it has been in her ass, it cannot go into her vagina without being really well cleaned.

You aren't a pornstar!
Well, unless you are. And then I apologize. My point is that porn is crazy. There are a lot of things that ONLY pornstars can or should do. Don't set unrealistic expectations for yourself. Make sure you realize where the line between fantasy and reality is.

Stay in control
Like me, a lot of you enjoy an exchange of control in your relationship (d/s or not). But when you are trying anal for the first time, make sure that you take control and go at your own pace. This is especially true when you are playing with a partner. If they are using a toy, or their penis, have them hold it steady and let you move against it to control the pressure as you are ready and comfortable.

Don't let anybody pressure you into trying anal play or anal sex. If you don't have a good experience your first time, then you probably won't want to try again.



LUBE!!!
Oh, I think I may have already mentioned this, but use lube. LOTS OF IT!

Remember that even if you follow all of these tips, injuries could still happen. You might push yourself too far one day and cause a small tear or some pain. Don't panic. Give yourself time to recover fully before playing again.

Anal can be a lot of fun if you do it correctly and safely. I know I have really enjoyed it. But keep in mind that anal isn't for everybody. If you try it and you don't like it, it just might not be for you, and there is no shame in that.

Hopefully at least somebody has found this blog helpful. If you know somebody who has questions about where to start, feel free to link them here. But please remember, just because I posted this blog, it doesn't mean I am not open to questions. I am very approachable so ask away!!

Feel free to leave your own tips or advice in the comments as well in case I missed anything.

[Blue Fox]

With what all was covered... Don't think there is much to add.

Be careful when buying toys online. I had once ordered a set of "anal trainers" that had no "neck". The base was just a thin flare at the bottom. No where near large enough to even be in the same country as safe...

I've also once ordered a set of those metal plugs with a neat jewel at the bottom. They had a neck, but the base wasn't any bigger than the biggest part of the plug. I don't know if the neck wasn't long enough or if the base wasn't large enough, but the whole thing started to slip in... I caught it quick enough and was able to pull it out, fortunately... But BE CAREFUL.