So, yesterday did not go as planned. The boy toy and I had a 'training day' (basically a day of all teasing called something other than a punishment), but through a series of mishaps and mistakes, we cut that day short.

I am continually surprised at how easily Sinister seems to handle my insane mood swings. How he can just drop the domly dom mode and switch into concern dom mode at the drop of a hat. At times, I feel as though he is tired of it, the constant switching. It has to be frustrating...

I've recently started thinking a lot about how I express my bratty side. We joke that I'm the Queen Brat, The Brat of GD, which is a rather accurate description of my behavior. But what is bratty? How am I bratty?

For me, brattiness is a game that can only be played with brat tamers. It's a dance I constantly move to of toeing the line between disobedience and brattiness. How sassy can I be before my boy toy has to finally say fuck it and give me a solid, no nonsense order? We play around...

It follows me around all day. My muscles tighten, jaw clenches, heart races. Anxiety fills my veins, making each breath I take icy.

Scenes relax me. Talking to my boy toy, watching Supernatural, hugging my cat, drinking hot chocolate. These things relax me.

Have you ever made a fist so tight that your hand starts to shake? And then relaxed? It's like a relief in your muscles instead of just your mind.

I'm a tense person. I worry and fret about everything,...

If you spend ten minutes in chat you will probably notice how often someone will say something along the lines of, "Looking for someone to punish me. My kik is *insert kik name here*" Now, while this might be somewhat annoying, it's fine to want to find someone to play with.

However, my quarrel is with the casual use of the word 'punishment'. People will also post threads asking for a *like of their choice* punishment and then shoot things down because they don't like them....

It's nothing really; a small silver chain around my neck. I wear it constantly because it makes him happy for me to have a reminder.

I also wear it as a reminder to myself. Not of my submission, although it gives me fun memories of that, but of the relationship that we have.

Every time I touch it, I'm reminded that there is someone who cares. Someone who has spent time and a significant amount of energy making me happy. Someone who I trust, to an extent, and who hopefully...

I've cried after scenes. Hell, I've cried during scenes. Not for the reasons that most dominants want. I never shed a tear from pain and any crying done post-scene was from a subdrop.

About, two days ago, around 2am, I decided to be a total brat to my dominant. Now, this isn't exactly news and I was doing it in a playful teasing way. So, he decided to 'express his dominance' in a playful and teasing way.

So, yesterday, after wearing my Kitty Collar for about an hour, with...

It's weird writing this since I know my dom will read it (stop stalking my blog. You said you wouldn't read this post so stop now)

So, now that the unwelcome people have left (you better have stopped now) I can continue on to the actual point of this entry.

You know how your playmate can be into different things than you? Not sure there are two people who have the exact same kinks and in the exact same way.

My dom and I have so many kinks in common, it's...