I have a lot of things I should talk about and it is easier for me to do that on a random website to a bunch of strangers. You can comment on my stuff or not, but the majority of my blog posts will be personal things that are difficult for me to talk about out loud.
Recovery
So, yesterday did not go as planned. The boy toy and I had a 'training day' (basically a day of all teasing called something other than a punishment), but through a series of mishaps and mistakes, we cut that day short.
I am continually surprised at how easily Sinister seems to handle my insane mood swings. How he can just drop the domly dom mode and switch into concern dom mode at the drop of a hat. At times, I feel as though he is tired of it, the constant switching. It has to be frustrating to plan out a training day, after it was already rescheduled, and then have to cancel it. I cannot fathom the patience he has or why he has it for me, but apparently he does.
He handled my drops and tears and freak outs with more grace and loyalty than I really deserved. After realizing I needed to apologize, he finally allowed me to and accepted it, although he insisted it wasn't my fault.
Instead of the twenty-four hours of tease and denial, I had about six and then my boy toy and I watched Supernatural and talked for several hours. This is a kind of weird way of getting to the point, but that is what I needed to recover. Not more dominance, not ice cream, and not socializing. I needed to know that I was forgiven and that we were okay.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that plans can be rescheduled, cancelled, or paused. They shouldn't take priority over the basic things, like feeling safe or respected.
I am continually surprised at how easily Sinister seems to handle my insane mood swings. How he can just drop the domly dom mode and switch into concern dom mode at the drop of a hat. At times, I feel as though he is tired of it, the constant switching. It has to be frustrating to plan out a training day, after it was already rescheduled, and then have to cancel it. I cannot fathom the patience he has or why he has it for me, but apparently he does.
He handled my drops and tears and freak outs with more grace and loyalty than I really deserved. After realizing I needed to apologize, he finally allowed me to and accepted it, although he insisted it wasn't my fault.
Instead of the twenty-four hours of tease and denial, I had about six and then my boy toy and I watched Supernatural and talked for several hours. This is a kind of weird way of getting to the point, but that is what I needed to recover. Not more dominance, not ice cream, and not socializing. I needed to know that I was forgiven and that we were okay.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that plans can be rescheduled, cancelled, or paused. They shouldn't take priority over the basic things, like feeling safe or respected.
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