BDSM: Hiding From Society Part One (Introduction)
A couple months ago, I had an assignment which was to choose a subculture to observe/interview members in it, and write about how they see something. I interviewed 6 people for this, one of which, requested I do not use his username. Therefore, Harris, in my paper, is an alias.
Another person, Dravot, was mentioned during my interviews, and asked me not to include his username in my paper to my teacher, but gave me the permission to share his name here on getDare, if I received the permission from all interviewed. Therefore, whenever you see the alias "Drillsergeant," I am referring to Dravot.
There were very few requests to edit any information for the purpose of posting it to getDare, all of which were accomodated before posting this. I hope you all enjoy the paper. I do ask everyone to understand that I had to keep my own opinions out of the paper, and could only go on the notes I had. So this is not to be used as an overgeneralization on the entire BDSM subculture, as only 6 were interviewed.
This blog is only the introduction, as honestly, this should hopefully be information we all know. For the purpose of my paper, having an 'audience' (technically anyone who reads it, but only my English professor, myself, and the 6 participants have seen this paper up to this point) of someone who potentially knew nothing about BDSM, I had to define what several things were, but I still wanted to include this part of my paper for those who want to read it.
Without further ado...
BDSM is an acronym that is typically defined as Bondage & Discipline (B&D), Dominance & Submission (D/S), Sadism & Masochism (S/M). Anyone who derives sexual or emotional pleasure, and participates in consensual relationships or practices from one or more of these three categories is considered to be a part of the BDSM subculture. For this essay, I am focusing on why people of the BDSM subculture view as a whole feel the need to be secretive, as well as giving an insight as to how they satisfy their sexual cravings. There is a slight focus on the D/S aspect, but all categories in general are intermixed with one another. The roles mentioned in this essay primarily consist of dominants and submissives, which is the person with control and the person who gives control respectively. Male and female dominants are often referred to or addressed as Dom or Domme, Sir or Ma’am, and Master or Mistress. Submissives are often genderless terms, referred to as a sub or slave. However, for the purpose of this paper, sub will be used for all cases. Someone who switches between dominant and submissive roles is called a switch. While there are potentially hundreds of different distinctions to define the differences between a sub and a slave, as well as several between a Dom and a Master, I will use the terms that the people interviewed give themselves for the purpose of this essay.
To find people to interview in the BDSM subculture, I had to use online forums, as there aren’t any publicly known BDSM groups or clubs in my area who would consent to being interviewed or being observed for research purposes. I created an account on getDare.com, an online truth or dare forum, which several people use to participate in BDSM activities with one another. On getDare.com, subs and switches often have their likes, dislikes, and limits posted in their signatures, where as dominant figures such generally do not. Likes are generally turn ons, or things of generally sexual nature that get a person“excited.” Dislikes are turn offs, or things that one does not enjoy, whether it be sexual such as putting pegs on the genital regions, or other “awful” tasks such as standing in a corner.. Limits are things a person is completely against, and will not ever do. This often includes things such illegal activity, anything involved with family, and other things. Each person is different, and therefore the examples listed can all technically be in any of the three categories. I searched the forums and found a variety of people who seemed to be serious about their lifestyle, and private messaged them asking if they would be willing to be interviewed, and what the interview was for. Several agreed, but only six people followed through, all of which represent various genders and roles within the BDSM community.
One thing that needs to be mentioned, is that with private messaging, the interviews were informal, and there will be occasional quotes that preserve the original writing, even if the spelling, grammar, or punctuation is incorrect. Some conditions before they agreed to an interview, was to not tell anyone else on the forum about the interview, that they had the option to not answer any questions they felt uncomfortable with, and that I would protect their username in the essay. Another man, while not interviewed but is mentioned in this paper as Drillsergeant, asked his name to not be included. All but he and one person interviewed, who I will refer to as Harris, eventually agreed to their real usernames being used in this essay.
Perhaps they agreed to this, as over the course of the interviews, which with private messaging lasted several days, trust was built between the interviewee and me; but the fact that they wanted to protect their online usernames in the first place, shows just how secretive the general people of this subculture wish to be, and with good reason.
Part two is the actual meat of the paper, with the last paragraph carried over.
Another person, Dravot, was mentioned during my interviews, and asked me not to include his username in my paper to my teacher, but gave me the permission to share his name here on getDare, if I received the permission from all interviewed. Therefore, whenever you see the alias "Drillsergeant," I am referring to Dravot.
There were very few requests to edit any information for the purpose of posting it to getDare, all of which were accomodated before posting this. I hope you all enjoy the paper. I do ask everyone to understand that I had to keep my own opinions out of the paper, and could only go on the notes I had. So this is not to be used as an overgeneralization on the entire BDSM subculture, as only 6 were interviewed.
This blog is only the introduction, as honestly, this should hopefully be information we all know. For the purpose of my paper, having an 'audience' (technically anyone who reads it, but only my English professor, myself, and the 6 participants have seen this paper up to this point) of someone who potentially knew nothing about BDSM, I had to define what several things were, but I still wanted to include this part of my paper for those who want to read it.
Without further ado...
BDSM: Hiding From Society (Introduction)
BDSM is an acronym that is typically defined as Bondage & Discipline (B&D), Dominance & Submission (D/S), Sadism & Masochism (S/M). Anyone who derives sexual or emotional pleasure, and participates in consensual relationships or practices from one or more of these three categories is considered to be a part of the BDSM subculture. For this essay, I am focusing on why people of the BDSM subculture view as a whole feel the need to be secretive, as well as giving an insight as to how they satisfy their sexual cravings. There is a slight focus on the D/S aspect, but all categories in general are intermixed with one another. The roles mentioned in this essay primarily consist of dominants and submissives, which is the person with control and the person who gives control respectively. Male and female dominants are often referred to or addressed as Dom or Domme, Sir or Ma’am, and Master or Mistress. Submissives are often genderless terms, referred to as a sub or slave. However, for the purpose of this paper, sub will be used for all cases. Someone who switches between dominant and submissive roles is called a switch. While there are potentially hundreds of different distinctions to define the differences between a sub and a slave, as well as several between a Dom and a Master, I will use the terms that the people interviewed give themselves for the purpose of this essay.
To find people to interview in the BDSM subculture, I had to use online forums, as there aren’t any publicly known BDSM groups or clubs in my area who would consent to being interviewed or being observed for research purposes. I created an account on getDare.com, an online truth or dare forum, which several people use to participate in BDSM activities with one another. On getDare.com, subs and switches often have their likes, dislikes, and limits posted in their signatures, where as dominant figures such generally do not. Likes are generally turn ons, or things of generally sexual nature that get a person“excited.” Dislikes are turn offs, or things that one does not enjoy, whether it be sexual such as putting pegs on the genital regions, or other “awful” tasks such as standing in a corner.. Limits are things a person is completely against, and will not ever do. This often includes things such illegal activity, anything involved with family, and other things. Each person is different, and therefore the examples listed can all technically be in any of the three categories. I searched the forums and found a variety of people who seemed to be serious about their lifestyle, and private messaged them asking if they would be willing to be interviewed, and what the interview was for. Several agreed, but only six people followed through, all of which represent various genders and roles within the BDSM community.
One thing that needs to be mentioned, is that with private messaging, the interviews were informal, and there will be occasional quotes that preserve the original writing, even if the spelling, grammar, or punctuation is incorrect. Some conditions before they agreed to an interview, was to not tell anyone else on the forum about the interview, that they had the option to not answer any questions they felt uncomfortable with, and that I would protect their username in the essay. Another man, while not interviewed but is mentioned in this paper as Drillsergeant, asked his name to not be included. All but he and one person interviewed, who I will refer to as Harris, eventually agreed to their real usernames being used in this essay.
Perhaps they agreed to this, as over the course of the interviews, which with private messaging lasted several days, trust was built between the interviewee and me; but the fact that they wanted to protect their online usernames in the first place, shows just how secretive the general people of this subculture wish to be, and with good reason.
Part two is the actual meat of the paper, with the last paragraph carried over.
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