It's the worst. Anyone who says otherwise is a liar and a scoundrel.

So, I write a lot. I have a very...overactive imagination and writing helps me convey some of the thoughts in my head. I can usually convey what I mean pretty well, the only downside is that I have a lot of ideas. If I don't write down my thoughts they can overwhelm me and then that's all I'm thinking about. I can't focus on anything else without going back to these tangents floating in my brain.

So, I...

So, these last few weeks, I've been able to play around with several different women. A few of them wanted to become my Domme, and a few just liked doing a scene.

I thought I was ready to have a serious D/s relationship. I really did, so I said yes to some of the offers, but after a few days, I realized I was wrong.

My last dom taught me a lot. Taught me a lot on what D/s relationships should not be and since I have been single, I've really been learning a lot.
...

And no, I'm not talking about the brief adrenaline rush you have when someone jumps out and scares you. And I'm not talking about the anticipation you feel when you know you're about to be punished.

I mean the fear you have at 3am when you hear something creak in your silent house and you're suddenly very aware of every move you make. The fear that makes you remember every terrifying movie you've ever scene. The fear that stays with you and leaves you unsettled for days.

...

You wait for like thirty minutes before you actually see anyone and the entire time you're nervous about everything and what kind of news you might get, what sort of results.

And if it's something bad, they tell you so much stuff so quickly and you're left in kind of a dazed state while they throw just all these facts and reasons at you.

Then they might give you options on what they think might be a good way to handle the situation, but then they ask you to choose and you...

So, as I've begun to grow and mature, I realized that I was attracted to women, but I also liked boys. Guess who was trying to figure out their sexuality at fourteen! Me.

Some of you might be thinking, But techie! I thought you were a lesbian. In fact, it says so in your signature! and you would be right! I am a lesbian (or well, homoflexible) but when I was fourteen, I thought I was bisexual. It's only recently that I've realized there are so few men I'm attracted to that I classify more...