For the eggs down my pants bit, I went to the top of the park and sat on a bench which overlooks the whole park when it's daylight.
So I reached the bench sat down in my wet pants and placed the second carton of six eggs by the side of me on the bench. Making sure there was no one coming (the bench is by a footpath), I undid the front of my trousers and unzipped my flies to expose the soggy underpants underneath. I pulled the front of my tighty whities open and placed one egg inside...