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Searching for a submissive: an update.
Some people may be aware that I'm currently on the search for a submissive. Sorry, that's a simplistic statement; and the truth always resists simplicity. I'm looking for someone to connect to, call a friend, and someone who turns me on beyond belief to the point that if I ever saw them I would, without hesitation, rip their clothes from their body and fuck them mercilessly. Yes.
People have gotten in touch, some endearing themselves to me more than others. However, as of yet, none have worked out. People seem very willing to be used as fucktoys, but very few seem to want to connect on any human level.
I'll admit that I spoke to one person for a significant period of time. At one point I was almost certain that this was going to be it, however we just sort of drifted apart. She was lovely about the whole thing, but I didn't feel like we could connect. We were very different people, and dealing with very different timezones. Again, the only part which seemed to work well, for me, was the sexual part; but that becomes 1-dimensional very quickly when you feel no connection to your partner.
I'm using the word connect a lot at the moment. This is, for me, the biggest issue with online relationships. I don't have a cam, and it's difficult to become strong friends with a chatbox. Yeah, pictures are an option, but not everyone can do that/feel comfortable with it. The ability to actually communicate is a major factor in a relationship for me; and, well, it seems to be the major stumbling block too.
I'm not going to rush this. I'm not going to just say 'yes' to anyone who messages me. It has to be right or else it's just bad news for both people. I've been in relationships in real life which weren't right, which were started because we felt we HAD to right now. They had to be ended quickly or else we'd have been damaged as people. Even though this is online I'm treating as though it's an offline relationship; I'd need that level of friendship, support, and attraction.
When I say attraction, I don't mean physical. The mind turns me on more than any body can. A witty comment, an enlightened observation or just being intelligent in what you type makes me sit up and take notice (that was a pun). A great ass helps though, don't get me wrong.
I know I'm being picky, but I think I have the right to be. For now, I'm going to keep searching until I find the right person.
****
If anyone cares: here's my ad: http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=199858
People have gotten in touch, some endearing themselves to me more than others. However, as of yet, none have worked out. People seem very willing to be used as fucktoys, but very few seem to want to connect on any human level.
I'll admit that I spoke to one person for a significant period of time. At one point I was almost certain that this was going to be it, however we just sort of drifted apart. She was lovely about the whole thing, but I didn't feel like we could connect. We were very different people, and dealing with very different timezones. Again, the only part which seemed to work well, for me, was the sexual part; but that becomes 1-dimensional very quickly when you feel no connection to your partner.
I'm using the word connect a lot at the moment. This is, for me, the biggest issue with online relationships. I don't have a cam, and it's difficult to become strong friends with a chatbox. Yeah, pictures are an option, but not everyone can do that/feel comfortable with it. The ability to actually communicate is a major factor in a relationship for me; and, well, it seems to be the major stumbling block too.
I'm not going to rush this. I'm not going to just say 'yes' to anyone who messages me. It has to be right or else it's just bad news for both people. I've been in relationships in real life which weren't right, which were started because we felt we HAD to right now. They had to be ended quickly or else we'd have been damaged as people. Even though this is online I'm treating as though it's an offline relationship; I'd need that level of friendship, support, and attraction.
When I say attraction, I don't mean physical. The mind turns me on more than any body can. A witty comment, an enlightened observation or just being intelligent in what you type makes me sit up and take notice (that was a pun). A great ass helps though, don't get me wrong.
I know I'm being picky, but I think I have the right to be. For now, I'm going to keep searching until I find the right person.
****
If anyone cares: here's my ad: http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=199858
Total Comments 12
Comments
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Hey I'm interested!Posted 12-07-2014 at 04:38 PM by Shellyna 
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Be picky! I agree that a connection is necessary, and you will have an amazing relationship when you find the right submissive for you. I am sending you so many good thoughts for that to happen more quickly.
Posted 12-07-2014 at 04:39 PM by justJane
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You are very kind, thank youQuote:Originally Posted by justJane
Be picky! I agree that a connection is necessary, and you will have an amazing relationship when you find the right submissive for you. I am sending you so many good thoughts for that to happen more quickly.
If you're interested then send me a PM outlining who you are/like. Add details and try to give me a hint of your personality. It may help you to read my ad first.Quote:Originally Posted by Shellyna
Hey I'm interested!Posted 12-07-2014 at 05:51 PM by An_Jon
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Be picky and don't apologize for it. Hang in there. The right person will come along and when they do, you will know it and it will all be worth it.
Good luck!Posted 12-08-2014 at 02:19 AM by Butterfly
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I read your ad recently and I love it! I can tell that you've very serious about this and that you do want that connection with someone outside of physical attraction. Still wishing you lots of luck on your search. You're right not to jump into anything you don't feel is right!
As for only communicating by typing, you can still build a connection with someone that way. But I wouldn't want to go back to just typing with my submissive now that we talk. I strongly advise you to get a cam. You don't even have to switch on the actual camera, but it allows you to voice chat. I don't know if you think it's scary or not. I had trouble with it at first, but I got over it. It cost me about twenty bucks to buy me a decent one, I got over my dislike for it and now I love chatting away the time for hours on end!Posted 12-08-2014 at 02:43 AM by drwarschauu
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Remember when I asked about the ad and got surprised when you said its going well
Hahaha
(I have intuitions which come true)
Well..I'm sorry but its funny that you;re having a hard time because believe me it was supposed to happen for someone like you who look for real connection And I know you cant find 'the one' just like that..
No pain No gain.
I would really really recommend to simply go to chat and make friends and then go a step ahead by showing them your ad and asking for it. You know that feeling when you lose something precious and wouldnt stop finding it, but finally when you stop looking for it, you find it just in front you.
I hope you find someone amazing.
Best of Luck.
Posted 12-08-2014 at 04:34 AM by rossesred
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As most people have said being picky is the best thing you can be.
I just sorta wanted to say that Im sure you will find someone right for you, and i hope it happens soon.Posted 12-08-2014 at 05:06 AM by Iodine
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"I'm not going to rush this. I'm not going to just say 'yes' to anyone who messages me. It has to be right or else it's just bad news for both people [...] I know I'm being picky, but I think I have the right to be. For now, I'm going to keep searching until I find the right person."
I couldn't agree more, and I'm glad I'm not the only "picky" one out there
Hope you find someone greatPosted 12-08-2014 at 08:14 AM by Siren
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I do agree with you. It does take that special connection. I found my special submissive slave, and it took me three months. The rush is not the way to go about it. The search does take time. I know of Dom's, who thought they had the right one. But, it was not and they are back looking again, with different aspects.
Do it your way. Remember, that " you are in control", no matter if being pushed by those, wanting just a slave. Nothing wrong, in the standards in which you have set for yourself.Posted 12-08-2014 at 10:02 AM by MasterDaddy02
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Cheers guys. Some very encouraging support and great advice.
This is why I like this site so muchPosted 12-08-2014 at 12:11 PM by An_Jon
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My two cents worth? I stopped looking, and didn't respond to a certain persons' ad. It just sorta happened "naturally" if I can say it like that. You deserve someone as lovely as you. That person is yearning to find you as much as you are yearning for them. Be patient and picky Best of luck to you JonPosted 12-09-2014 at 01:54 AM by Foxy Rose
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First, I want to give you kudos for wanting more than just a toy to play with. So many people are looking for the kinky sex that they forget about the person who resides inside the body, and I think it is highly commendable that you want the whole deal.
Second, I agree that you need to be picky. You owe it to yourself to do so, to just keep your options open until you find the one who is right, rather than the one who is right now.
Anyone who understands the dynamic the way you do will find the right person. It may take time, it may happen tomorrow, but it will happen.Posted 12-09-2014 at 12:32 PM by Punishmyclit
