last night i went to meet Sir again.

i admitted to him that i needed punishment. which i did...because not only was i not able to keep my no masturbating vow...but i slept with my dads friend again. i admitted it to him, and he told me to meet him in 20. i said i didn't have the gas money. to which he replied "that's not a request." i kind of had an "oh shit" moment. i must admit.

bear in mind...this might not be a 100% accurate recollection of events...

I was watching television today and they were talking about Obama trying to get rid of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." What is the problem with people knowing that someone in the military is gay? I don't understand! The same goes with gay marriages. What's the problem with that?

i had a dream last night i just couldn't get out of my head all day. so I'll blog it.

i had a dream i was in a giant underground stadium. it was really weird looking, the walls very very blue, and granite-ish looking and the center of the room was filled with a maze of jail cells. there were seats along the edge, and they were absolutely filled with thousands of people. I started my dream up in the stands, there were people down below wandering around, and there was a sizzling excited...

So I haven't been able to get my mic to work so you get a typed blog. Fun right. So guess what this week I got dumped by a guy that said he only went out with me because his friends made him, and his friends said he only needed to go out with me for a week after a week he dumped me. The more I think about it the more I think this is my fault. So I guess I will just have to live with my stupidity.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!!!!!! To everyone else, have a nice Thursday

well. it's been awhile since i updated. i am quite litteraly torn between my faith and my desires. i can't really explain it in a way most can understand. but being the person i am. i have to give all to either. like i said. it's just who i am and how i'm wired. i've decided to fast from sex or anything for a month. HOLY HELL is it difficult. i kind of feel like ripping off the clothes of the next person i may happen to see with my teeth and rapeing them. well. aside from children...and the elderly......

That is what I have decided. Pretty much all I have to write