-
Posted 02-17-2021 at 07:58 PM by DoingMyBest -
Acceptance
Quote:I’ll offer my point of view in the hopes that it’s helps in some small way. I think what you are feeling is something everyone feels. No matter who you are, you always perceive yourself in the least flattering way. You know what your concerns are and you see them clearly. But here is the thing. Most people don’t see you that way. What you may think is negative in some way, they don’t see any issue at all. If you ask them, they would be surprised by your question. Not all of course. There are ones who are just mean and will take any opportunity to put you down. And there others that focus on certain physical attributes and anyone that doesn’t measure up is terrible. Ignore them, as they are easy to spot after a few minutes.
I think your friend was trying to get you to focus on your strengths. On what you like about yourself. You listed a number of things and then always said, “so are many others with more offer”. That is always true about anyone. But you didn’t say what you like. You listed everything in terms of comparing it to others. I’m no model or Adonis, but I like my build. I need to exercise and loose some weight. Doing so would clearly make me feel better, but I’m generally happy with my build. There are plenty that are better then me as well. Go ask a super model what they think is wrong with them and you will get a list of items that I bet you will be shocked by.
So my advice is to give yourself a break and try to focus on what you like and what excites you. Your attitude and demeanor is the most important thing. If you project any attitude of happiness and interest and are generally positive, you will be much more attractive to people then someone who seems closed and nervous. People pick up on those things even when they don’t know it. Think about the times you meet new people. Who did you respond to more, the ones that had a more positive attitude, even if they were nervous, or the ones that seemed down and closed. I suspect the former.
So find things you enjoy doing. Be around people that enjoy those things too. Let your interest and desire for those things excite you and motivate you and let others see that. I can guarantee people will respond to you differently and positively. And you will enjoy it all more because you are doing something that excites and stimulates you. And let that desire and excitement help you push your boundaries a bit. I always feel that if you are making decision based on fear, you are likely making the wrong choice. If you don’t go to a party because you are nervous or afraid, go anyway. If you won’t try some new activity because you are worried about how you will do, do it anyway. It’s very hard I know. And fear has its moments. But I can honestly say the things I regret in my life are those things I did not do because I was afraid.
I hope this helps in some small way. And I applaud your courage to speak up and share your thoughts with us all.
Update: I brought this up to my friend today to try and clarify what she meant. And...yeah...my first entry was right on. She said that I need to find something unusual about myself that ONLY I have or that ONLY I can do that will make a D-type stop in their tracks and think "Hey..that's different".
For example, my example was cleaning. I'm really, really good at cleaning. She stopped me and said "but anyone can do that". So...I'm really at a loss...Posted 02-17-2021 at 03:21 PM by MysticalMadness -
Help
Hold ice in your hands until you can't stand the pain any longer. It is an effective tool that has prevented me from self harm in the past.Posted 02-10-2021 at 09:31 PM by Butterfly -
Acceptance
I’ll offer my point of view in the hopes that it’s helps in some small way. I think what you are feeling is something everyone feels. No matter who you are, you always perceive yourself in the least flattering way. You know what your concerns are and you see them clearly. But here is the thing. Most people don’t see you that way. What you may think is negative in some way, they don’t see any issue at all. If you ask them, they would be surprised by your question. Not all of course. There are ones who are just mean and will take any opportunity to put you down. And there others that focus on certain physical attributes and anyone that doesn’t measure up is terrible. Ignore them, as they are easy to spot after a few minutes.
I think your friend was trying to get you to focus on your strengths. On what you like about yourself. You listed a number of things and then always said, “so are many others with more offer”. That is always true about anyone. But you didn’t say what you like. You listed everything in terms of comparing it to others. I’m no model or Adonis, but I like my build. I need to exercise and loose some weight. Doing so would clearly make me feel better, but I’m generally happy with my build. There are plenty that are better then me as well. Go ask a super model what they think is wrong with them and you will get a list of items that I bet you will be shocked by.
So my advice is to give yourself a break and try to focus on what you like and what excites you. Your attitude and demeanor is the most important thing. If you project any attitude of happiness and interest and are generally positive, you will be much more attractive to people then someone who seems closed and nervous. People pick up on those things even when they don’t know it. Think about the times you meet new people. Who did you respond to more, the ones that had a more positive attitude, even if they were nervous, or the ones that seemed down and closed. I suspect the former.
So find things you enjoy doing. Be around people that enjoy those things too. Let your interest and desire for those things excite you and motivate you and let others see that. I can guarantee people will respond to you differently and positively. And you will enjoy it all more because you are doing something that excites and stimulates you. And let that desire and excitement help you push your boundaries a bit. I always feel that if you are making decision based on fear, you are likely making the wrong choice. If you don’t go to a party because you are nervous or afraid, go anyway. If you won’t try some new activity because you are worried about how you will do, do it anyway. It’s very hard I know. And fear has its moments. But I can honestly say the things I regret in my life are those things I did not do because I was afraid.
I hope this helps in some small way. And I applaud your courage to speak up and share your thoughts with us all.Posted 01-23-2021 at 09:07 AM by MasterZp -
Non-Sexual Dynamics and Scenes
Quote:I agree with completely. A lot of kink for me is non-sexual and is a cathartic release. I think having somebody in your life to support you in that way is super useful.
I also agree that just because you have that person in your life, it doesn't mean you won't take risks. In fact, I would imagine that it was easier for you take risks and jump in, knowing that if things fail, you will have somebody to help soften the landing.
Nobody gets to dictate how you do your D/s. If somebody reads your profile and passes judgement, it is their loss. If they stick around and don't like your explanation, then they are just not the right person for you. Somebody more compatible will come along.
As my favorite toddler friend has started to say "you do you, boo"!
I've had several people ask about my relationship statuses to the point that I got fed up and started giving curt and short replies back.
"Are you SURE you want a dynamic?"
"Does your Daddy know you're looking?"
"I'm confused because you have people listed as a Daddy and as sisters?"
and so on and so forth.
Even after explaining my nonsexual relationships with them to other people, they don't always believe me or end up feeling threatened in some way. (Again, multiple people, not just the one).
Having these people in my life definitely makes the landing softer if something fails because I have an open communication support system (that I am literally still learning how to effectively utilize). I'm not really a risk taker though (Thank you Major Anxiety).
You're toddler friend is amazing too!Posted 12-01-2020 at 08:17 AM by MysticalMadness -
Non-Sexual Dynamics and Scenes
I agree with completely. A lot of kink for me is non-sexual and is a cathartic release. I think having somebody in your life to support you in that way is super useful.
I also agree that just because you have that person in your life, it doesn't mean you won't take risks. In fact, I would imagine that it was easier for you take risks and jump in, knowing that if things fail, you will have somebody to help soften the landing.
Nobody gets to dictate how you do your D/s. If somebody reads your profile and passes judgement, it is their loss. If they stick around and don't like your explanation, then they are just not the right person for you. Somebody more compatible will come along.
As my favorite toddler friend has started to say "you do you, boo"!Posted 11-30-2020 at 11:36 PM by Butterfly -
Vent: I do what I want!
Sometimes with some people you just have to agree to disagree. One person’s opinion doesn’t make it right. Go with your gut feeling, keep experimenting, keep being you.Posted 11-19-2020 at 01:04 AM by Masterwants -
Vent: I do what I want!
Labels can be pretty pesky. I think that they are super useful to start a discussion but nobody fits inside any one box. Nobody gets to tell you that what you are is "wrong" or not right in some way. You do you!Posted 11-18-2020 at 10:32 PM by Butterfly -
Vent: I do what I want!
Quote:I think the most important thing is that you’re comfortable with what you’re doing and how it satisfies you. Hopefully as part of that you find someone you’re compatible with and shares the same viewpoint.
I think everyone will have different opinions on what is allegedly right or wrong, but as long as something works for you then who cares?
I pretty much gave up worrying what other people thought a long time ago about this kinda thing as it got distracting and negative.
Sometimes the lines between slave and submissive get a little blurred. Some doms want a trained sub, others prefer inexperienced subs they can mould themselves.
It’s all a matter of preference, not right or wrong.
I'm currently attempting to gain perspective from reputable people in my community that are closer to my age.Posted 11-18-2020 at 10:16 AM by MysticalMadness -
Vent: I do what I want!
I think the most important thing is that you’re comfortable with what you’re doing and how it satisfies you. Hopefully as part of that you find someone you’re compatible with and shares the same viewpoint.
I think everyone will have different opinions on what is allegedly right or wrong, but as long as something works for you then who cares?
I pretty much gave up worrying what other people thought a long time ago about this kinda thing as it got distracting and negative.
Sometimes the lines between slave and submissive get a little blurred. Some doms want a trained sub, others prefer inexperienced subs they can mould themselves.
It’s all a matter of preference, not right or wrong.Posted 11-18-2020 at 01:20 AM by Masterwants -
Ageplayers, Littles, and Babies
As with your other piece "More Info About Littles", I thank you for these informative posts!
NilesPosted 08-15-2015 at 11:20 PM by Nilesmare -
More Info About Littles
Thank you for this beautiful gem of work!
As I am trying to get more info on this subject, as it matched with me on so many levels, I am grateful you created this.
Niles - hopefully soon to be a new daddy around the block.
(When I have enough information and experience to start taking the care for a little one myself)Posted 08-15-2015 at 11:03 PM by Nilesmare -
Perfect Week w/ Sir
Awwww this is lovely to read. I am so glad that you enjoyed your time with your Sir. I found that some of my favorite times when Asslvr and I visited each other was when we just got to cuddle in bed together. One of my favorite days was actually when I was sick, and he just cuddled and napped with me and we watched movies. It is the simple things that bring us the most joy.
Do you have another visit planned?Posted 05-20-2015 at 06:15 PM by Butterfly -
More Info About Littles
I'm going to be a super creep and bring this blog back. I've read it through many times, and linked a few people to it. Thank you for such an amazing, detailed blog about a topic that a lot of people aren't educated on. You're awesome!Posted 05-10-2015 at 06:49 AM by jlstockton25 -
I Am Not Ok...
Thank you everyone for your kind words and support! <3 It's amazing to know how I've grown and changed. Thank you all for being there for me when I need to talk to and when I just needed some good fun laughsPosted 03-24-2015 at 04:25 AM by MysticalMadness -
I Am Not Ok...
New to the site so no history whatsoever. I see you being 'not ok' and still empowered. I believe you will be more than OK in the future because of who you are. Best wishes and a million thanks to know that people such as you exist here.
SolovPosted 03-23-2015 at 12:14 PM by solov corruption -
I Am Not Ok...
Quote:The most hardest thing is to be honest within yourself! The most hardest thing is to share, what you are feeling inside! The most hardest thing is to understand, you are not perfect. I applaud you, for having the guilts to say you are just human. So very many, cannot be honest and must hide there true emotional feelings.Posted 03-23-2015 at 01:41 AM by MrCharcol -
I Am Not Ok...
The most hardest thing is to be honest within yourself! The most hardest thing is to share, what you are feeling inside! The most hardest thing is to understand, you are not perfect. I applaud you, for having the guilts to say you are just human. So very many, cannot be honest and must hide there true emotional feelings.Posted 03-22-2015 at 11:45 PM by MasterDaddy02 -
I Am Not Ok...
Ah how beautiful for something so melancholy~ You've done something that I've absolutely hated admitting to myself, and you seem so strong because of it. *hug* I hope you find your "okay" place, if you're even looking for it. Like you said, "You are ok knowing that you are not ok."Posted 03-22-2015 at 04:34 PM by Clerisyberry -
I Am Not Ok...
Great words indeed, very well thought out and so insightful. I hope that you find something soon to make you feel less alone and a sense that someone whether a friend, stranger or lover can wrap their arms around you and make you feel like you're loved and wanted.Posted 03-22-2015 at 04:11 PM by Tease -
I Am Not Ok...
This reminds me so much of myself sometimes. Bravo for posting something so personal, it takes a lot of courage to be so vulnerable!Posted 03-22-2015 at 04:05 PM by jlstockton25 -
I Am Not Ok...
If there's one thing I struggle with at the moment its admitting that I'm not okay. It's so much easier to say I'm fine than admit there's a problem.
I found this really refreshing and inspiring. I hope whatever is causing you to not be okay can be rectified and you aren't "single" anymore.Posted 03-22-2015 at 03:17 PM by Saddi -
Is Moving On An Ending or Beginning?
I had to make a similar decision in regards to a non D/s relationship recently and I am still dealing with everything, and still trying to find the courage everyday to be strong and move on, but I know that what I am doing is only going to lead me to be happier in the end.
Some people spend a lot of time making other people happy and forget about their own happiness. You are right, you are young and so brave to have made this hard decision.
If you need anything, I am here for you.Posted 10-15-2014 at 07:49 AM by Butterfly -
Is Moving On An Ending or Beginning?
Ultimately you need to do what is best for you, and the people who care for you will want that, even if it is difficult. Going through changes there are often times of confusion and conflicted wants, in and of themselves, without all the other things in life you have to deal with. All you can really do is be kind to yourself and let your system adjust; recognising that you are ready for something different is a wonderful thing.
All the best to you, and I'll echo the others by leaving an open door. Thank you for the things you've posted.Posted 10-14-2014 at 03:51 AM by StrawDog -
Is Moving On An Ending or Beginning?
I am sending you so many good thoughts! I have so much respect for you, it takes a lot of strength to do what you did, and it will be for the best in the end. Hit me up whenever you want to chat!Posted 10-13-2014 at 07:38 PM by Happy Me