Go Back   getDare Truth or Dare > Blogs > MysticalMadness

Rate this Entry

Acceptance

Posted 01-22-2021 at 09:40 PM by MysticalMadness
Updated 01-22-2021 at 09:45 PM by MysticalMadness (Grammar)

Hey all, I have what I think is a general dating/relationship question as I have no experience with traditional dating. I was voicing some of my frustrations to a friend and her advice to me was that I need to think about what I can bring into a relationship that no one else can. Ive been stewing on this on and off for a few months.

Realistically, this isn't possible. Im not pretty by most peoples standards. Im a plain Jane and I dont like makeup (not to mention im also what is known as "big and tall". Literally). I am friendly and I am loyal and I am passionate and so many other things. But so are many other women who are prettier than I am. And/or thinner, sexier, more confident, etc. Im sexually inexperienced but so are many others with more to offer. Im intensely shy and introverted. But so are many others. You get the idea.

I dont know if she was trying to uplift me and increase my confidence by getting me to think about my good qualities or not. I dont know if I misinterpreted the prompt or misunderstood the concept. But my anxiety brain has reached a point where I havent totally given up hope but I have reached an acceptance that finding a compatible partner is extremely unlikely for me.

I don't really know what im looking for. Just to vent? Advice? More discussion? I have no idea.
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 200 Comments 3
« Prev     Main     Next »
Total Comments 3

Comments

  1. Old Comment
    Iíll offer my point of view in the hopes that itís helps in some small way. I think what you are feeling is something everyone feels. No matter who you are, you always perceive yourself in the least flattering way. You know what your concerns are and you see them clearly. But here is the thing. Most people donít see you that way. What you may think is negative in some way, they donít see any issue at all. If you ask them, they would be surprised by your question. Not all of course. There are ones who are just mean and will take any opportunity to put you down. And there others that focus on certain physical attributes and anyone that doesnít measure up is terrible. Ignore them, as they are easy to spot after a few minutes.

    I think your friend was trying to get you to focus on your strengths. On what you like about yourself. You listed a number of things and then always said, ďso are many others with more offerĒ. That is always true about anyone. But you didnít say what you like. You listed everything in terms of comparing it to others. Iím no model or Adonis, but I like my build. I need to exercise and loose some weight. Doing so would clearly make me feel better, but Iím generally happy with my build. There are plenty that are better then me as well. Go ask a super model what they think is wrong with them and you will get a list of items that I bet you will be shocked by.

    So my advice is to give yourself a break and try to focus on what you like and what excites you. Your attitude and demeanor is the most important thing. If you project any attitude of happiness and interest and are generally positive, you will be much more attractive to people then someone who seems closed and nervous. People pick up on those things even when they donít know it. Think about the times you meet new people. Who did you respond to more, the ones that had a more positive attitude, even if they were nervous, or the ones that seemed down and closed. I suspect the former.

    So find things you enjoy doing. Be around people that enjoy those things too. Let your interest and desire for those things excite you and motivate you and let others see that. I can guarantee people will respond to you differently and positively. And you will enjoy it all more because you are doing something that excites and stimulates you. And let that desire and excitement help you push your boundaries a bit. I always feel that if you are making decision based on fear, you are likely making the wrong choice. If you donít go to a party because you are nervous or afraid, go anyway. If you wonít try some new activity because you are worried about how you will do, do it anyway. Itís very hard I know. And fear has its moments. But I can honestly say the things I regret in my life are those things I did not do because I was afraid.

    I hope this helps in some small way. And I applaud your courage to speak up and share your thoughts with us all.
    Posted 01-23-2021 at 09:07 AM by MasterZp MasterZp is offline
  2. Old Comment
    MysticalMadness's Avatar
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by MasterZp View Comment
    Iíll offer my point of view in the hopes that itís helps in some small way. I think what you are feeling is something everyone feels. No matter who you are, you always perceive yourself in the least flattering way. You know what your concerns are and you see them clearly. But here is the thing. Most people donít see you that way. What you may think is negative in some way, they donít see any issue at all. If you ask them, they would be surprised by your question. Not all of course. There are ones who are just mean and will take any opportunity to put you down. And there others that focus on certain physical attributes and anyone that doesnít measure up is terrible. Ignore them, as they are easy to spot after a few minutes.

    I think your friend was trying to get you to focus on your strengths. On what you like about yourself. You listed a number of things and then always said, ďso are many others with more offerĒ. That is always true about anyone. But you didnít say what you like. You listed everything in terms of comparing it to others. Iím no model or Adonis, but I like my build. I need to exercise and loose some weight. Doing so would clearly make me feel better, but Iím generally happy with my build. There are plenty that are better then me as well. Go ask a super model what they think is wrong with them and you will get a list of items that I bet you will be shocked by.

    So my advice is to give yourself a break and try to focus on what you like and what excites you. Your attitude and demeanor is the most important thing. If you project any attitude of happiness and interest and are generally positive, you will be much more attractive to people then someone who seems closed and nervous. People pick up on those things even when they donít know it. Think about the times you meet new people. Who did you respond to more, the ones that had a more positive attitude, even if they were nervous, or the ones that seemed down and closed. I suspect the former.

    So find things you enjoy doing. Be around people that enjoy those things too. Let your interest and desire for those things excite you and motivate you and let others see that. I can guarantee people will respond to you differently and positively. And you will enjoy it all more because you are doing something that excites and stimulates you. And let that desire and excitement help you push your boundaries a bit. I always feel that if you are making decision based on fear, you are likely making the wrong choice. If you donít go to a party because you are nervous or afraid, go anyway. If you wonít try some new activity because you are worried about how you will do, do it anyway. Itís very hard I know. And fear has its moments. But I can honestly say the things I regret in my life are those things I did not do because I was afraid.

    I hope this helps in some small way. And I applaud your courage to speak up and share your thoughts with us all.

    Update: I brought this up to my friend today to try and clarify what she meant. And...yeah...my first entry was right on. She said that I need to find something unusual about myself that ONLY I have or that ONLY I can do that will make a D-type stop in their tracks and think "Hey..that's different".

    For example, my example was cleaning. I'm really, really good at cleaning. She stopped me and said "but anyone can do that". So...I'm really at a loss...
    Posted 02-17-2021 at 03:21 PM by MysticalMadness MysticalMadness is offline
  3. Old Comment
    DoingMyBest's Avatar
    Your friend's areshole talks less shit when she has diarrheoa...
    Posted 02-17-2021 at 07:58 PM by DoingMyBest DoingMyBest is offline
 

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:51 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, vBulletin Solutions Inc. - Also check out Kink Talk!reptilelaborer