What a fantastic session that must have been!
Those lost grapes were particularly funny.

Would have been more interesting if you did the grapes, glass buttplug then forced his orgasm.

Nonetheless, fun was had and thats important.

Lovely! I was surprised you made him cum before the grapes where in.

What does the * mean in #8 and #23?

I'm quite late in replying, but I wanted to say you definitely aren't alone in feeling this way. My thing is being forgotten; people seem to make plans and then forget to hit 'save', say they'll text to get together and then months go by, forget we talked about X, forget they agreed to/promised to do X, and it's frustrating. It bothers me deeply when I feel like I'm not being taken seriously, when someone doesn't actually believe I mean what I say, as evidenced by their actions or lack thereof. Sometimes the solution to that has been to introduce some actual consequences to the situation - which is far easier in a work situation, it's hard when it's a friend and I've stopped taking her at her word, worse when it's a partner and I've had to have some very tough conversations. It's a miserable thing. Especially when I realise that sometimes the solution is to walk away from the people that I just want in my life, not who care enough to include me in their life.

Because I have learned that I am myself first. That I matter on my own terms, and if I don't matter to someone else it does not change who and what I am. I'll be happy on my own if I have to. I'll miss them, but I won't miss them making me feel that way. I can make myself heard to, and seen; I am a gracious person by nature, but certain people nurtured a ferocity in me that I'm not afraid to draw on to defend myself. At the same time, I know sometimes there is the perception of this and not people in general being awful, that this grey voice tells lies and tries to convince me that I matter to no one and therefore I don't matter. And the solution to that one is to call it the liar it is, and for me to go back to God, because I know I'm His first and I'm loved by Him and heard and known without fail. I go back to the foundational truth and build from there.

I am so sorry you feel/have felt this way, and I hope it's getting better. I hope people are giving you the basic courtesy and respect that you deserve, and that no matter what you know that you are worthy and loved, that your voice is priceless and so many of us are thrilled when we get to hear from you. And I'm sorry I've let busyness keep me from staying in touch and for contributing to this; you deserve better, to know when you are thought of, to know how much I value you and our friendship. I am so proud of who you are, what you have come through, and the road you continue to walk <3

Yay!!! I'm so happy to see you do this too!!
Nice rolls, especially #6.

And from the rest of the list, I sure hope you will land on #15, #16 and #22.

Good luck!!

You missed one:

* Submit to a Bear

There you go, fixed for ya.

Wow! That is a pretty kinky list. I am surprised as some seem particularly daring for you!
And others I figured you'd already done, like breast bondage.

Hmm, let's see!

"I am bratty and stubborn and independent." Well, that doesn't make you a bad sub!
"I like to say no and try to negotiate on tasks." Doesn't make you a bad sub
"I have numerous and strict limits, more so than other people." Anyone who thinks this makes you a bad sub is dumb
"I have irrational fears and hesitations." Same here!
"I have a unique personal situation and physical limitations." Oh look, another thing about you that doesn't in any way make you a bad sub
"I have baggage and damage from the past that limits me at times." Hmm, nope, not a bad sub!
"I have allergies and sensitivities which need to be taken into account." Thinking this makes you a bad sub would make someone a REALLY bad dom
"I often find myself complaining about one thing or another ... especially things like chronic headaches or other maladies." Well that doesn't in any way make you a bad sub
"I know what I want and what I need and I often have no problem asking for it (or rather demanding it)." Not a bad thing!

In the absence of any evidence to the contrary, I'm going to say you're not a bad sub! Being unable to do certain things doesn't make you a bad sub. Being unwilling to do certain things doesn't make you a bad sub. Nor does not liking to do certain things, or not being good at certain things.

Yes, that means you won't be able to sub for every dom. But you're way too good for most of them, so meh? Congrats on finding (another ) awesome dom, and yes you deserve awesome doms and all the things your subby side wants and craves!

In conclusion: No, no you're not.

It sounds like you help your dominant by assisting with the care of something they treasure: namely, you. This is really important!

You're not a bad sub at all. Everyone has limitations due to their own personal circumstances and as Mr Rainbow said part of being a Dom is accomodating to those things.

So what if you don't like denial? I don't either. I like the idea of it but not the reality and I will never be very good with long term denial. Or medium or short term denial..

When AM and I first started D/s, I had only just started recovering from anorexia/bulimia and so I was so incredibly weak and could barely do anything most days. Some days were still the days were just walking downstairs caused me to go dizzy and/or collapse. But AM knew this and worked with me and gave me things I could do that didn't involve physical effort. Did I feel guilty? Yes I did. Because I couldn't do the other things he asked of me. But I learned that it was okay and there was no rush and we could do them in the future when I was strong enough for them.

Although the exact issues aren't the same, the end result is: Being unable to do something doesn't make you a bad sub. Raising your fears and concerns, even complaining, doesn't make you a bad sub. You know better than anyone else your limitations and what you can and can't do. And those things you're not sure of? I have never known you to not at least try. And it's the effort and trying that counts, not the outcome. When you're asking can we change this, you're not refusing to try or to work together, you're trying to alter it so it is something you CAN do. And that's what matters.

Love you lots!

Denial sucks! Thank you, this really helps. And hearing your story, my response would be "DUH!", that is the way any good Dom would act, but it is easier to give that advice out rather than to listen to it myself.

I do always try! I try my best at everything and I don't like to give up, but I also don't like to fail and I feel like I am failing sometimes (when I have to say no, or change things). Which is why I am struggling. But thank you!

Of course you are a bad sub. You have neither long-range nor side-scan sonar, can't go underwater deep enough for research, and can't fire torpedoes or rockets.

But you are a great you and that is what matters.

You can't compare understanding built over 3 years vs. 3 weeks - its not fair to anyone and most of all you.

Trust others to figure you out as you figure them out. And, sometimes you help each other along the way.