Thank you Cass.

Yes, we spend a lot of time talking. Jaro and I talk for hours each day, and although we needed to take a break after this incident the other night, we spoke immediately after Jaro woke up. We discuss everything, even if it is a direct demand. Jaro always has the opportunity to have his voice heard, and we always listen and take what he says into account, even if sometimes we decide not to change our decisions.

Little pet, I think it is fair to say that everybody struggles with adulting at times. Everybody is allowed to be grumpy and have an outlet. When I find myself overwhelmed with life, I walk away and take a break. Jaro, Icey and I discuss things and act like adults, even if I don't feel like adulting.

As for my mental heslth, it is under control. I have had issues with anxiety, triggers and depression in the past and sometimes it is still a concern. But again, when I struggle, I take a step back from my position of power and I engage in other outlets. It may not always be healthy (as I still struggle with self harm issues) but I never involve others when I am dealing with that.

Furthermore, blogs like my blog about being grumpy come from partly a place of being little, and I do a good job of separating my little space with Jaro. We have safewords and safeguards in affect for that.

Yes, Jaro and I haven't met in real life. But we are planning on it. I don't see how that changes things? You and Sam haven't even seen each other or spoken to each other and yet you engage in very high risk play. Jaro has a safeword that he can use at anytime, no questions asked and he will walk away from the D/s side or our relationship with no consequences. Icey and I will simply delete all of his material.

Jaro is the one who asked for more power to be taken. Jaro is the one who asked that we take steps to make things more real. IceMaiden and I worked with him to form a plan a way to do this safely.

Yes, this was step one. One step closer to him possibly, one day being exposed. However, as we discussed and reassured Jaro, if we ever do to get the point that we need to expose him, he still has his safeword. If he chooses to continue, it's not like it is we sending a picture of him naked and cuffed to his father and workplace. Just as everything else we have done, it will be carefully discussed and thought out. Calculated carefully. It will likely be a revealing (non face) photo with his real first name placed on getdare for a week.

As for his finances, as I very carefully explained in that blog, Icey and I basically in control of a glorified budget. We get to say no if he wants to buy something frivolous. We aren't taking his money, or preventing him from living comfortably. I think the only thing I have said no to thus far is a haircut. And it was negotiated that he would be allowed to do it a few days later. As for taking further control? That's possible. But we will go slow and discuss it. And again, he can stop at any time if he is done.

And lastly, if something were to happen and I needed to travel thousands of km away to assist Jaro, I would do what I needed to. Its not as if he is a lump of dirt who I don't care about, he is a friend, more than a friend. Almost two years together has created that bond.

I appreciate your concern. I worry about some of the extreme play that orhers engage in on this community as well. However, Jaro, Icey and I have gone to great lengths to make our play as safe as possible. We have safeguards in effect. But alas, there will always be risks. And as long as you are risk aware and all parties consent to those risks and their consequences, there is no harm in going forward. And this is what we have chosen.

I have chosen to write openly about everything we go through because I want people to realiZe that things like blackmail, extreme play, being a mod .... Aren't always glamorous. That you don't have to be perfect. That mistakes can happen. There are risks, there are consequences. And there are ways to play that push the limits while keeping as safe as possible.

And anybody who doesn't care to read about it, can fuck off.

It very much is about the context as well. If somebody calls me Miss while I am on the street, then I know they aren't presuming that I am going to dominant them. However, when somebody starts referring to me as Miss in chat or in a private message, it immediately makes me feel as though as want something from me.

Again, I understand that some communities or relationships use titles as a sign of respect or to make the slave/sub "know their place", but for me it comes counter productive when they don't respect your wishes once they are known.

It is, but is different when it is Miss on its own compared to Ms. (last name).

I HATE Ma'am! It makes me feel 70 no matter if it is in the kink community or not.

As for sir and miss, I am still not a fan. I understand if it is used out of respect, and I won't be offended, unless they continue to force that title on me. I would much rather be addressed by Mr. Ms. or Mrs. and my last name if somebody wants to be polite. I will still insist they call me by my first name though.

I personally try my best to keep an open mind when somebody messages me. Although I am always a bit guarded at first, I do try to feel them out to see what they are hoping to get. It helps when they upfront say "I saw your post on and was interesting in chatting more" or "I have seen you around and you seem nice, I thought maybe we could get to know each other". Those statements help to put me at ease. I also try my best to make it clear at the beginning of talking that I am NOT looking for anybody new and don't want to give out tasks, see their penis, etc.