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Posted 03-02-2018 at 10:32 AM by sexyred92 
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Posted 03-02-2018 at 08:00 AM by kurious kat
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What's in a name?
Glad you found a name you love there, Jessica. :-) More power to you! ^.^
My name is one I picked out for a MMORPG (City of Heroes) and I've fallen in love with since. Should be no surprise that the alt I used on there was female. And I've used it in Final Fantasy 14, as well. With a female alt. So, I know what you mean about a name being a bit liberating. However, due to how much I use it, I've also used it in my RPGs which I now curse myself for because it is a name I fabricated and several people in real life know I use it. So, they could potentially find out about this side of my life... lolPosted 02-08-2018 at 04:07 PM by Blue Fox
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What's in a name?
I recall having once experimented with a name but at the time I never really felt much. Might have been because the domme just didn't mesh with me well and so I could never fully get into the right mentality. Whatever the reason was, I felt none of what you mentioned here.
But I'm beginning to see the appeal.
Thanks!Posted 02-08-2018 at 02:05 PM by nnrrgy
Updated 02-08-2018 at 02:05 PM by nnrrgy (typoooo) -
What's in a name?
It's nice to see you found your name you like Jessica. I've seen you saying in a thread you liked being called by your new name. And I've called you by your name.
I'm just happy for you, you found a name that fits you. It just makes me thinking about some other stuff too.Posted 02-08-2018 at 01:21 PM by Pariahterror
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What's in a name?
Interesting Cstelle, it's definitely liberating to be called something else & have a change of identity to some degree, and beyond just an extra layer of anonymity as you say.Quote:Originally Posted by Cstelle
My gD name, Cstelle, came about by accident and wasn't meant to be (nor indeed is) a sissy name - it has nothing to do with humiliation or stripping away manhood, or anything - but for me too the importance of the new name was a surprise. I thought it would only anonymise me - but it did so much more! I am so much freer, smarter, and perhaps even happier as Cstelle. I wish I could be Cstelle in real life too.Posted 02-08-2018 at 05:45 AM by PrincessJessica
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What's in a name?
My gD name, Cstelle, came about by accident and wasn't meant to be (nor indeed is) a sissy name - it has nothing to do with humiliation or stripping away manhood, or anything - but for me too the importance of the new name was a surprise. I thought it would only anonymise me - but it did so much more! I am so much freer, smarter, and perhaps even happier as Cstelle. I wish I could be Cstelle in real life too.Posted 02-08-2018 at 12:32 AM by Cstelle
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Posted 12-27-2017 at 11:02 AM by CSasha
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I Hate Denial; I Love Denial
Congratulations on making it so far, and good courage for sharing these thoughts. But it also looks like you have become aware of the rewards denial and submission comes with.
Posted 12-26-2017 at 03:26 PM by CSasha
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The Pain of Too Little Self-Control
Just a quick update on the experiment...
I ended up with 5600(!!) ball spanks, only about half were my own fault with the remainder coming from dares (including an unintentionally cruel 100 cock spanks PM dare which added 2000 ball spanks on their own).
One problem I did indeed find HumbleSlave was the lack of immediacy to the punishment (hey, I'll edge now who cares about the spanks for poor future me); partly due to lack of privacy ATM with the holidays but also I still need to build up resilience to ball spanking sessions...I suppose that's one upshot to this, I get to train myself a little yay. Another upshot is that I'm indeed not denied until they're done (poor oddjobber...eek).Posted 12-25-2017 at 06:32 PM by PrincessJessica
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The Pain of Too Little Self-Control
You should probably have a minimum of spanks per day and per session as well. That way you can't spread them out too far. Maybe 20% or 200 (whichever is greater) of the total must be done per day, with a minimum of 100 per session. This keeps you from putting them off and from getting too high of an amount.Posted 12-22-2017 at 04:45 PM by HumbleSlave
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Posted 12-22-2017 at 01:18 AM by CSasha
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The Pain of Too Little Self-Control
ouch...
I feel you. I'm also not that great with self control (though also not as bad as you).
Poor balls, but be happy the chastity is not prolonged till they are all done. (at least I hope so)Posted 12-21-2017 at 10:12 AM by Lemuricon
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The Pain of Too Little Self-Control
1390 ball spanks sounds like a lot! (though oddjobber has already worked off more and still working to complete an even larger amount, but it always depends on the person). Maybe it'll teach you a bit more self-control. Lustful slave.
Very good blog post.Posted 12-21-2017 at 09:19 AM by CSasha
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It's All In Your Mind
Many thanks for the share. It is very insightful and intimate.
Depression is a very wide-spread disease. It needs treatment. i have it myself. You are very brave writing about it, and inspire me to do the same.
Many thanks.Posted 12-20-2017 at 06:25 AM by CSasha
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My First Mistrust
Thanks all for the kind words.
Yes, she admitted recording throughout the months and sharing with at least her boyfriend, at best (although perhaps friends too for all I know, clearly morals weren't a big consideration). She sent me one of the links and it was fortunately(ish) on a file-sharing site rather than a video one so less likely to be widely viewed (well that particular video at least). I couldn't really trust what she was saying though, especially coupled the whole bizarre moving me onto her boyfriend business at the same time.
I was paranoid about it for months after but, TBH, I think (or naively hope) I got away without major non-consensual exposure. Over the years I've gotten more used to exhibitionism type of things but it was far too much at that time and would still need to be consesual.Posted 12-18-2017 at 11:37 AM by PrincessJessica
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My First Mistrust
I suspect that "she" was posting the videos and photos all along and just chose to share it at that time. It would really surprise me if it wasn't happening all along.Quote:Originally Posted by sir sam
WoW... pfew... horryfying.
I must say that i’m kind of amazed that the abuse started after such a long time. I would think someone with an abusive intend to have less patience.
It’s true that symmetry in revealing privacy is a must. If that does not happen it’s a real red flag.
Still, breaking completely at first indication is the best thing you did. There is no “going back” on the internet. What’s out cannot gotten back. So accepting the damage and just bluntly stopping is the best one can do. It also shows strength. It shows one is not just a helpless victim but potentially biting back.Posted 12-18-2017 at 11:13 AM by Butterfly
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My First Mistrust
WoW... pfew... horryfying.
I must say that i’m kind of amazed that the abuse started after such a long time. I would think someone with an abusive intend to have less patience.
It’s true that symmetry in revealing privacy is a must. If that does not happen it’s a real red flag.
Still, breaking completely at first indication is the best thing you did. There is no “going back” on the internet. What’s out cannot gotten back. So accepting the damage and just bluntly stopping is the best one can do. It also shows strength. It shows one is not just a helpless victim but potentially biting back.Posted 12-18-2017 at 10:58 AM by sir sam
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My First Mistrust
Thank you for sharing another part of you. I can feel these parts are parts cose to your heart.
I don't have any experience in any relationship. But after what I read, this would also let me seek the protection of my shell for a long time.
And thank you for sharing a part of you again.Posted 12-18-2017 at 01:26 AM by Pariahterror
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My First Mistrust
That was a really hard lesson to learn, and I am glad that it turned out ok in the end.
Trust is SO important, and it is hard, especially when in an online relationship. You really have to be careful with who you trust, and how. You make a very good point about summetric trust.
Good luck as you continue to explore.Posted 12-17-2017 at 09:12 PM by Butterfly
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Posted 12-17-2017 at 12:20 PM by Cstelle
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It's All About Me
Very true. I'd describe myself as someone who perversely enjoys most humiliation so it was quite surprising just how hard it was to basically just sum up my imperfect life of ups and downs.Quote:Originally Posted by Pariahterror
I also felt like it was therapeutical to just write something about mysef as just during writing I got tears in my eyes, even now it wells up a litte.
It's comforting (of sorts, I can't quite think of the right phrasing but hopefully you know what I mean) to hear about others in a similar boat; struggling through and exploring life at the same time.Posted 12-16-2017 at 02:33 PM by PrincessJessica
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It's All About Me
Thank you for sharing your story. I'm glad I gave you the courage to write and post your own. Just hoping you will keep on enjoying the community here.
I also felt like it was therapeutical to just write something about mysef as just during writing I got tears in my eyes, even now it wells up a litte.Posted 12-16-2017 at 11:20 AM by Pariahterror
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It's All About Me
This was a lovely blog and thank you for opening up. I'm glad my blogs have reached others and encouraged (or slightly forced, in your case) some to open up about themselves.Posted 12-16-2017 at 10:37 AM by Butterfly
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