You know, I think that a lot of what Monkey has said here is really what I would offer as advice as well. Also, I wanted to offer a little bit of my own experience:

I, like you, have always been the caretaker, the responsible adult, and the glue that held my family and friends together when things get rough. I would often be described as "serious," "maternal," and sometimes even "abrasive" by people - never immature, cute, or silly. It's no surprise that in my relationship with Monkey, I'm the Dom.

I even convinced myself, for quite some time (StrawDog will tell ya ), that I was undeserving of care. I wasn't small or cute enough to be the one who gets spoiled, who gets to pout, etc. etc. Especially not when I also genuinely want to nurture. But I also genuinely want to be cute and feel delicate, small, and precious. And that's really counter-intuitive to both my outward personality and the role I typically play in relationships. But I'm a brat. Monkey has to put me to sleep sometimes. I get excited for christmas, just like you! I like bright pastels and coloring on his belly and all kinds of traditionally "little" stuff, even though I haven't put that particular label on it. To monkey, I'm just the Duchess and whatever that entails for me.

Our relationship works on quite the sliding scale, which is great, because we believe everything exists on a spectrum. Even if I'm bratty and annoying and cute and tiny, I'm still the Duchess and will boss him around as I so please. It doesn't stop him from being childish, himself. Oftentimes we'll be all giggly and excited together like a couple of goofs. And when I snap back to that stern, Mommy mode, the boy knows he'd better behave or else he's getting a-spankin'!

But it took a lot of time for me to learn to trust him with my genuine expression of self and to love that part of me, to think of it less as a facet cut off from the rest of my "modes" and more as a host of behaviors that are an integrated natural part of my personality. I'm not little - I just like Dreamworks and pastels and lolita stuff and glitter. I'm also nurturing and sadistic and scholarly and opinionated and insecure and greedy and kind and helpful and just a three-dimensional fucking person (with a huge potty mouth).

If the way that being a little makes most sense to you is to create chunks of time where you can fully immerse yourself in that mental space, then it's important to create that for yourself because it's a part of you. But also consider the possibility that it's okay for you to be a small, adorable, bratty, nuturing, responsible, no-nonsense adult who likes Disney, glitter, and being fucked rough and dirty. We're complex individuals that are complicated and contradictory, but because we're human, we're more than capable of embodying all of these wonderful contradictions and turning them into a palette of vibrant personality.

But I think it begins with first realizing how cute and lovable it is that you like all of these "Little" things and how happy it makes you feel, and how much you are worth it to share this part of you with Asslvr and how much he deserves to know and fall in love with every part of you. Then, just try being genuine. If something makes you happy, get excited and dance around and squeak and be small and cute. Be unreasonable sometimes and pout when you're not satisfied about something. Tell Asslvr that you're a damn princess, just like the ones from Disney, and you demand a glitter party. The people in our lives are too precious to be denied the parts of us that are most vibrant and genuine. We are too precious to deny ourselves the freedom to share that part of ourselves with others.

So, this kind of resonates with me, because in my relationship with Duchess, I do display some child-like tendencies, even though I don't identify as 'little' per se. But I do love spending time playing with my Legos, and I have two stuffies that sleep on my bed (one of them belongs to the cat now), and I call her mommy (there's probably other things, but those are what come to mind right now). I think the main deciding factor of not being a little, in my mind is there is no age play or whatever? I don't really consider myself a child in an adult's body, instead, I consider myself an adult with child-like interests. To an outsider looking in, I might be considered a little I suppose, but I guess it's really up to me in the end.

I guess my point is, you are allowed to be you. The cornerstone of any good relationship has to be communication. I doubt Asslvr is going to find stuff you are interested in to be weird. I'd wager he probably already sees some of that in you and is hesitant to bring it up, or maybe he's just not sure how to define it exactly. If you want to try something, I would recommend bringing it up with him. See what he thinks, suggest just like you mentioned here, trying it out for a day every week, or once a month, or whatever works for you. Experiment (after all, that's how you got into impact play right). But I think if you don't at least talk to him about it, you'll never know, right?

I understand the fear of 'losing control' of that part of yourself if you start experimenting with it. And it's entirely possible you might at first. I think if you limit who you are, or submerge a part of yourself, once that part gets some freedom it might be hard to pull back at first, but eventually your life will come back into balance. I think of it like a rubber band under stress, there are two options, keep it under pressure until it snaps, or release it. If you choose to release it then yes, it will snap out a lot, but then it will spring back to 'normal'. Besides, if it does spring out of control, isn't that what having a caretaker is there for? To keep you in line and make sure everything works out for the best?

Anyways, I've rambled a lot here, I apologize, but I hope I've helped some. I love you and hope you find what works best for you.

Great reviews! Thank you Miss.

"They are purchased in sets of 2 for obvious reasons. " I giggled.

Hey Butterfly! I've always been super curious about the Nipple Suckers? Do they hurt when they actually create the suction? The marks that show after look painful for sure, but I've always wondered how it goes.

How fun,
Just a single comment,...
I simply looovvveee clamps with bells.
It is just so nice to let my pet dance with bells, let her shake her boobs while belled.

This is so relatable! I've been waiting for such a long time for Christmas to arrive! Thinking about all the pretty lights in the street, all the people in the mall looking for gifts together, all the happy faces, happy scenery and the cozyness that the cold causes.

People drinking hot chocolate while eating lunch, feeling safe inside, all warm and comfortable.

I love thinking about Christmas! Is it Christmas yet?

Not quite yet! One more week until Advent Sunday - our trad. start of the season! I'm trying to not even think about candles before that! In joyous expectation of joyoys expectation?

One of the most beautiful things read all this week apart from my Exam result card ( where I Aced)

Beautiful

Thanks for sharing it with us.

I'm not in terribly comfortable circumstances (read: no job), so I have to be ...extra particular... about my gifts. So may I honour your joyous Thing with a Named Spank for Mrs Butterfly Asslvr [*1], and a Quick Humiliation for Mr Asslvr [*2]?

[*1] If Mr A loves Mrs A, he will now proceed to give her a friendly butt smack (give her friendly butt a smack?), and he will say: "This was from that perv Cstelle on GetDare. What a freak! He's probably getting off on this! Pff! What a weirdo!"
[*2] If Mrs A loves Mr A, she will grab his dinkadoodle and hold it firmly in her hand, and she will say: "This is from Cstelle. What do you want me to do?"

Wishing you both... well, you know: the very, very, VERY best.

Dang! Those are some pretty cute kittens you have. And you love him just as much as them? He should feel pretty lucky and honored!

You could combine some of your loves. Cover him in chocolate and glitter, for instance!

Absolutely lovely Much love and best wishes to you both. Thank you for letting us be a part of your day

It's*hours later - but the lions still make me giggle like a maniac when I think of them!

I had a meeting, I was important (ish), I did stuff and things - but fucking giggle snort: I can't help it! I keep hearing the song! I see the lions' faces! "IIIIIIIeeeIIIII...!"

You... you guys...!

You have such a unique and creative way to express yourself in your blogs. I love reading them and, of course, I love that you indeed have found your soulmate!

Congratulations to all of you!

Well, I think would like to gift 100 spanks for Butterfly, and 10 edges to asslvr. Oh, as far as new toys go you should check out the Max male masturbator by Lovense, I think it would make a nice addition to your collection, sincebyou already have the we-vibe. Duchess and I have been eyeing it and it looks pretty cool.

Thank you Asslvr. I have yet to find out how ruthless she is. From what I've learned so far, you are a lucky man to have her!

Good luck to both of you! (Especially Jaro, Butterfly is ruthless!)