A random assortment of reports, thoughts, ramblings and information. Pretty much a view inside my wonderfully complicated, sometimes broken, and entertaining mind.
Casual Domme No More!
Over the past few years I have really grown into my Domme role. My first relationship as a Domme was with Colosubguy. It just kind of happened spontaneously in chat one day. He was a great sub and a lot of fun, but after a few months, we just weren't able to meet each others needs. We ended things amicably and went our seperate ways. He is now in an amazing relationship with a new Domme who is perfect for him.
After that experience, I really didn't embrace my Domme side much at all. Instead I became a mod and tried to fill a mentor and/or leadership role.
One day I was looking through the blogs section and came across a blog by a young little worm. He was looking for some guidance and wanted to experience submission to see if it was something for him. We talked a lot before we decided to give things a try. After only a week or two of having rules, he thought he was ready to give up.
However, I convinced him to calm down, take a deep breath and slow down. Fast forward 3+ years later, and we are still together! Our relationship has gone from just a few rules, to a M/s style relationship, through a consensual blackmail phase and right now we are engaging in a goal oriented D/s dynamic. Throughout all of this, Jaro has been my friend. Being his Domme has really changed my life.
As our dynamic has fluctuated, so too has my Domminess. Some days I will feel very Dommey or sadistic and I want to torture poor unsuspecting subs, while other days I feel nice, subby or even little.
I think we can all agree that there is no shortage of horny little male subs on getDare. I have been propositioned thousands of time. Domme's are hard to find, and good Dommes are even more rare. Many people have been jealous of Jaro throughout the years.
But, I am very picky about who I play with. I have pretty specific criteria that they must meet in order to be considered. However, over the years, I have collected a handful of subby play partners who either come to me randomly for tasks, or who I can go to if I am feeling sadistic and need somebody to torture. (This saves Jaro from some of the things he doesn't like as much).
Those partnerships have been fun, but not overly fulfilling. They fill a small urge or need, but that is all. I get the most fulfillment out of building a rapport and seeing somebody give in to their submission and trust me to guide them on this journey.
I honestly have never went on a search to find a sub. They have always kind of just come along at the right time. And that same thing happened with my newest sub.
We started with just one small task because he was feeling subby. I was in a Dommy mood that day and so I obliged. Over the last few weeks I have been giving him small tasks to complete, and he has continued to exceed all of my expectations, endure the torture with class, and still came back for more.
Unlike some of my play partners, who are only around for instructions and then provide a report and leave, he stayed and we talked about more than just kink. He didn't make me feel like a piece of meat.
Throughout the week, I was surprised at how well it was going. It turns out he was feeling the same and he offered me more control right about the same time that I was going to ask if he would want me to take it. We put off having "the talk" for a few days, but when we finally sat down to do so, we knew what the outcome was: He was going to be mine!
This Butterfly has captured a little gerbil boy (oh how he loves that rodent name :P). Let me introduce ...
Although it has only been less than a week, I feel as though we have been together for a year! I don't choose my subs (and I certainly don't let them choose me!), they just sort of wander into my life, just like Searching has done.
Having two subs is a HUGE responsibility and I take my role as their Domme very seriously. It is for this reason that I am going to be giving up casual play as a Domme.
I still might haunt the threads every now and then and provide a task, but I think I will reserve my sadistic and creative tasks for these two little pests (or is that supposed to be pets? hmm?) that I call mine.
After that experience, I really didn't embrace my Domme side much at all. Instead I became a mod and tried to fill a mentor and/or leadership role.
One day I was looking through the blogs section and came across a blog by a young little worm. He was looking for some guidance and wanted to experience submission to see if it was something for him. We talked a lot before we decided to give things a try. After only a week or two of having rules, he thought he was ready to give up.
However, I convinced him to calm down, take a deep breath and slow down. Fast forward 3+ years later, and we are still together! Our relationship has gone from just a few rules, to a M/s style relationship, through a consensual blackmail phase and right now we are engaging in a goal oriented D/s dynamic. Throughout all of this, Jaro has been my friend. Being his Domme has really changed my life.
As our dynamic has fluctuated, so too has my Domminess. Some days I will feel very Dommey or sadistic and I want to torture poor unsuspecting subs, while other days I feel nice, subby or even little.
I think we can all agree that there is no shortage of horny little male subs on getDare. I have been propositioned thousands of time. Domme's are hard to find, and good Dommes are even more rare. Many people have been jealous of Jaro throughout the years.
But, I am very picky about who I play with. I have pretty specific criteria that they must meet in order to be considered. However, over the years, I have collected a handful of subby play partners who either come to me randomly for tasks, or who I can go to if I am feeling sadistic and need somebody to torture. (This saves Jaro from some of the things he doesn't like as much).
Those partnerships have been fun, but not overly fulfilling. They fill a small urge or need, but that is all. I get the most fulfillment out of building a rapport and seeing somebody give in to their submission and trust me to guide them on this journey.
I honestly have never went on a search to find a sub. They have always kind of just come along at the right time. And that same thing happened with my newest sub.
We started with just one small task because he was feeling subby. I was in a Dommy mood that day and so I obliged. Over the last few weeks I have been giving him small tasks to complete, and he has continued to exceed all of my expectations, endure the torture with class, and still came back for more.
Unlike some of my play partners, who are only around for instructions and then provide a report and leave, he stayed and we talked about more than just kink. He didn't make me feel like a piece of meat.
Throughout the week, I was surprised at how well it was going. It turns out he was feeling the same and he offered me more control right about the same time that I was going to ask if he would want me to take it. We put off having "the talk" for a few days, but when we finally sat down to do so, we knew what the outcome was: He was going to be mine!
This Butterfly has captured a little gerbil boy (oh how he loves that rodent name :P). Let me introduce ...
Searchingslave510
(Now known as Gerbil.Boy)
(Now known as Gerbil.Boy)
Although it has only been less than a week, I feel as though we have been together for a year! I don't choose my subs (and I certainly don't let them choose me!), they just sort of wander into my life, just like Searching has done.
Having two subs is a HUGE responsibility and I take my role as their Domme very seriously. It is for this reason that I am going to be giving up casual play as a Domme.
I still might haunt the threads every now and then and provide a task, but I think I will reserve my sadistic and creative tasks for these two little pests (or is that supposed to be pets? hmm?) that I call mine.
Total Comments 12
Comments
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Good luck Seachingslave.... you're gonna need it!
Posted 01-30-2020 at 10:25 PM by Jaro 
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Congratulations! Now we can envy two subs for having such a great Domme. Envy in a positive way. I like your decision to drop the casual play with incoming subs to focus on your little herd. It shows your responsibility and care which is why you are such a great Domme.
Wish all the best for your relationships. Thanks for sharing.
Posted 01-31-2020 at 01:44 AM by CSasha
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@Jaro, yes I have seen that reading about all the things she's put you through. Maybe we can start an emotional support group. It'll just be very exclusive.
@Miss Butterfly, I sometimes wonder if I just "wandered into your life" or whether you're a venus fly trap and I'm a fly.
Very grateful that you find me interesting enough to want me as a sub.Posted 01-31-2020 at 04:15 AM by Searchingslave510
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Shared torment is more fun!
Posted 01-31-2020 at 04:19 AM by CSasha
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Good luck! Casual domming for me is totally unfulfilling, I need to understand and connect and like who I Dom and I find this doesn’t work in casual play sessions.Posted 01-31-2020 at 05:15 AM by Masterwants
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Hmm, interesting. So far, I shied away from longer relationships from on top. I do find it very time and sometimes nerve consuming, plus I have my phases of not being in the mood to top (same for subbing). So everyone's different, yay!
On the other hand, you can only dare so little in the first session. I need so much information to be safe as a top. That takes effort. It's great when it's more worth with follow-up sessions.Posted 01-31-2020 at 10:50 AM by CSasha
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Good luck with your journey guys!
Posted 01-31-2020 at 02:04 PM by Ben8725
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Yayy! Wonderful news! Congrats Searchingslave510! No doubt you're in for a lot of fun with one of the most fun and devious minds on gDPosted 01-31-2020 at 05:58 PM by DeepInnerFreak
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"Wandered" .... "captured" ..... "kidnapped" ... its all semantics. The point is, you are MINE now!Quote:Originally Posted by searchingslave510
@Miss Butterfly, I sometimes wonder if I just "wandered into your life" or whether you're a venus fly trap and I'm a fly.
Very grateful that you find me interesting enough to want me as a sub.Posted 01-31-2020 at 10:26 PM by Butterfly
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You are totally right. Thats why even my casual partners were long term casual partners. I would play with them over time but not regularly. Not the same as a dynamic but at least gave the opportunity to build trust and work up to harder and more rewarding tasks.Quote:Originally Posted by Masterwants
Good luck! Casual domming for me is totally unfulfilling, I need to understand and connect and like who I Dom and I find this doesn’t work in casual play sessions.
Posted 01-31-2020 at 10:28 PM by Butterfly
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I agree that being a Domme long term can be consuming of time and energy. I actually find that Domming drains me whole subbing recharges me. But, I think a big misconception is that just because you are in a long term dynamic, doesnt mean you have to be "on" 24/7. Jaro and I have taken many breaks of varying lengths and degrees over our 3 years together. And both of my subs know that there are times where I might not have tasks or instructions for them because I am just not in that head space. But the friendship and other relationship components dont have to end.Quote:Originally Posted by Cassandra
Hmm, interesting. So far, I shied away from longer relationships from on top. I do find it very time and sometimes nerve consuming, plus I have my phases of not being in the mood to top (same for subbing). So everyone's different, yay!
On the other hand, you can only dare so little in the first session. I need so much information to be safe as a top. That takes effort. It's great when it's more worth with follow-up sessions.Posted 01-31-2020 at 10:32 PM by Butterfly
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Thats very flattering, thank you ♡Quote:Originally Posted by Champion4Ever
Yayy! Wonderful news! Congrats Searchingslave510! No doubt you're in for a lot of fun with one of the most fun and devious minds on gD
Posted 01-31-2020 at 10:40 PM by Butterfly
