Let's Talk About Consent.
What is consent?
"Consent:
noun: consent; plural noun: consents
1. permission for something to happen or agreement to do something."
Consent is important. Especially in the kink world. It is so important it is mentioned in both SSC and RACK:
SSC: Safe, sane, consensual.
RACK: Risk aware consensual kink.
So why do I see so many people not bothering to get consent in a d/s setting? 'Doms' who think that because someone identifies as a sub they must serve them. They must obey. They are a sub so they are obviously everyone's sub. The sub didn't consent. And without that consent, that is abuse. Offline that is assault, people.
Recently I was told something along the lines of 'a real sub does anal.' Anal is a limit if you're not AM. So I guess I am not a real sub, because I should obviously submit to every tom dick and harry just because I identify as a submissive. What does it matter that the only person I have agreed to submit to is AM? Why does it matter the only person I have consented to submit to is AM? Obviously my consent isn't needed because I wouldn't be a real sub if I refused to do something I say is a personal limit...oh, wait...
Something else I have noticed is dumbinants who think if someone's Dom says it is okay to do a task for them, the sub must comply. What happened to getting the subs consent AS WELL? Of course there are some situations where a sub has agreed to follow whatever order their Dom gives them and if it was in this circumstance their dom told them to, as long as it was still within the subs limits and had been agreed on prior that they would serve others as well if told to, then that is perfectly fine.
But what isn't okay is when a submissive has agreed to submit ONLY to one Dom and then the dumbinant decides as the dom said they are okay with whatever task, the sub has to do it. No. No they do not. In this case you need BOTH the dom's and sub's consent. Why is that so difficult to understand?
And the dumbinants who use the "but a REAL sub should do this," or "REAL subs/slaves don't have limits"...go fuck yourself. A sub or slave may not have limits with one person...because they CONSENTED to have none with said person. They communicated and agreed this would work for them when entering into their relationship or further on in their relationship. But not EVERY sub/slave does this. And that is okay!
What is NOT okay is expecting that your way works for everyone or for someone to immediately do things your way with no communication or consent. It isn't okay to demand things just because someone identifies as a sub/slave. They identify as A sub/slave, not as your sub/slave.
"A real sub should do this and that and this..." How about a real dom should get consent first and respect limits? Without that consent, without respecting those limits, you're not a dom. You're just an abusive prick.
"Consent:
noun: consent; plural noun: consents
1. permission for something to happen or agreement to do something."
Consent is important. Especially in the kink world. It is so important it is mentioned in both SSC and RACK:
SSC: Safe, sane, consensual.
RACK: Risk aware consensual kink.
So why do I see so many people not bothering to get consent in a d/s setting? 'Doms' who think that because someone identifies as a sub they must serve them. They must obey. They are a sub so they are obviously everyone's sub. The sub didn't consent. And without that consent, that is abuse. Offline that is assault, people.
Recently I was told something along the lines of 'a real sub does anal.' Anal is a limit if you're not AM. So I guess I am not a real sub, because I should obviously submit to every tom dick and harry just because I identify as a submissive. What does it matter that the only person I have agreed to submit to is AM? Why does it matter the only person I have consented to submit to is AM? Obviously my consent isn't needed because I wouldn't be a real sub if I refused to do something I say is a personal limit...oh, wait...
Something else I have noticed is dumbinants who think if someone's Dom says it is okay to do a task for them, the sub must comply. What happened to getting the subs consent AS WELL? Of course there are some situations where a sub has agreed to follow whatever order their Dom gives them and if it was in this circumstance their dom told them to, as long as it was still within the subs limits and had been agreed on prior that they would serve others as well if told to, then that is perfectly fine.
But what isn't okay is when a submissive has agreed to submit ONLY to one Dom and then the dumbinant decides as the dom said they are okay with whatever task, the sub has to do it. No. No they do not. In this case you need BOTH the dom's and sub's consent. Why is that so difficult to understand?
And the dumbinants who use the "but a REAL sub should do this," or "REAL subs/slaves don't have limits"...go fuck yourself. A sub or slave may not have limits with one person...because they CONSENTED to have none with said person. They communicated and agreed this would work for them when entering into their relationship or further on in their relationship. But not EVERY sub/slave does this. And that is okay!
What is NOT okay is expecting that your way works for everyone or for someone to immediately do things your way with no communication or consent. It isn't okay to demand things just because someone identifies as a sub/slave. They identify as A sub/slave, not as your sub/slave.
"A real sub should do this and that and this..." How about a real dom should get consent first and respect limits? Without that consent, without respecting those limits, you're not a dom. You're just an abusive prick.
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Comments
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Blogs need a like button, because this 110% percent preach.Posted 03-04-2018 at 04:15 PM by Wedgiebondagebabe 
