A random assortment of reports, thoughts, ramblings and information. Pretty much a view inside my wonderfully complicated, sometimes broken, and entertaining mind.
"Friends": A ranty rant!
Tags butterfly
This is going to be a two in one rant blog about supposed "friend". I don't just add anybody as a friend on getDare. Normally I take the time to get to know them, or at least have a few conversations with them before sending or accepting a friend request. The reason for this is because there are certain things on my profile, in my photos or in my blog that I wish to only share with friends. I take great care in deciding who I want to share that information with, and it is disappointing when those "friends" let you down.
Over the past few weeks I have had to deal with two separate issues. These things would normally merit some batting of the troll and then discard them or else just pain ignoring them, however when they are people who I have come to regard as friends, it is a lot harder than that.
Situation 1
I am going to call this guy "Mr. Entertain Me".
I met Mr. Entertain Me over a year ago in chat. We have shared some real life discussion throughout our "friendship" and I had added him to kik. After a few months of talking regularly, both about real life stuff as well as some kinky stuff, life got busy and we went a month or two without talking.
When he popped up next, Mr. Entertain Me asked how I was and without even waiting for an answer, asked for messy dare suggestions. I was a bit annoyed, so I just told him I was busy and didn't want to talk about kinky stuff. He said that is ok and went on his way.
A week later, he messaged me again. This time he asked if I was doing better and I told him I was really stressed out. He suggested that helping him with a messy dare would help take my mind off things. I politely declined and he disappeared.
The next day he asked me if I would vote for him in an online poll. I said sure and did it. I like to support my friends. I asked him how he was doing and he told me all about the poll and the torture he was going to receive if he lost. I laughed along with him and told him good luck.
He messaged me a few hours later to let me know he lost. Because he lost, he had to do a messy edge every time he saw a photo that made him have a dirty thought. He continued to say things like "you aren't going to send me any photos are you?" when I said "No, I support my friends" he would say "Good!" but then ask again a few minutes later, or try to tell me what he would have to do if he did. It was clear he wanted me to send him a photo and torture him.
The same conversation continued every day or so for two weeks before I snapped!
I love to support my friends. I am there for them if they need a virtual hug, a friend to talk to or lean on, friendly advice or just somebody to listen. I am there for them if they need help with a getDare game or kinky advice.
When I get to know somebody I don't mind sharing details of my personal life, or seeking their opinion or advice and I love to ask for help with kinky games, dares etc. I also am known for sharing pics with my friends.
But when I start to feel like I am being used, or being pushed into sharing photos that I don't want to share, I get angry!
Situation 2
"Mr. Sneaky" was very slick. We had a few conversations in chat and bonded over a shared experience. I gave him my kik information and we began to chat a bit. I am very open with the fact that I have a Dom and that I moved across the country to live with him and that we are engaged! Even if somebody doesn't know that when we meet, it comes up in conversation pretty quickly and is very evident on my profile.
So Mr. Sneaky and I conversed back and forth for a month or so. The first day we talked quiet a bit but after that it went pretty slow. One of us asking a question and the other not answering for a few days or so.
This weekend he messaged me again. This is the actual conversation that happened:
Mr. S - Have you been getting my messages?
Me - Just this one since June 3
Mr. S - Weird, so I had to delete kik and have had issues since downloading and updating. Seems to be working now?
Me - That sucks
Mr. S. - It does, it has completely left me out of the getdare bdsm game. Which is like the worst thing ever haha.
Me - Awww. I honestly haven't been on getdare for more than 5 min in more than 2 months.
Mr. S - Yeah I know that you mean. I usually check in and leave it alone for periods of time. I recently put up another ad and checked in today. Have you been in any relationships?
Me - Nice. I am actually engaged to my Dom and have been with him for 2 years. We get married next year.
Mr. S - Oh wow that must be an interesting dynamic.
Me - It is great. We are less d/s than we were when we lived across the country from each other. We have normal dates and relaxation days and normal sex and normal fights. We are pretty much a normal couple with the exception that we are kinky. So we get playtime and get to take sexy pics and show our gd friends and we put a kinky spin on things.
(Next morning)
Mr. S - So this might sount just a liiitttllleeeee crazy but what would you think about giving it a shot with me as your Dom? Like a secret side thing?
Me - That is incredibly rude! Asking if you can have his permission to Dom me is one thing but to ask me to do it secretly is awful. He isn't just dome guy who happens to Dom me online. He is the man I am going to marry and I dont keep secrets from him. Having you Dom me would be worse than me having sex with a random guy. In order for me to submit I have to give myself completely to you. I would never even think of doing that to him.
Mr. S - Yeah, I really don't care if you think that is rude.
Me. - Glad to know. It says a lot about you as a person.
Mr. S - Haha no, just says how little I care about you and your life
FRIENDSHIP ENDED!!!!
This conversation makes me livid! When somebody asks me to be their sub and I politely tell them I am taken, I expect them to back off. When people disrespect me enough to continue to push or ask me to do something behind Asslvr's back, it starts a fire inside me.
How can somebody expect you to enter into a relationship with them if they don't care about your life. How can they expect you to trust them with your safety and emotional well being during a play session if they can't respect you.
On top of that, how can they expect me to choose a quicky play session with somebody who I barely know in trade for screwing up a two year relationship with a man I am madly in love with? Who in their right mind would even consider this?
Urg!!! I may need to reconsider a new screening process for my "friends" because it seems like my decisions haven't been so great over the last few months.
Rant over.
Over the past few weeks I have had to deal with two separate issues. These things would normally merit some batting of the troll and then discard them or else just pain ignoring them, however when they are people who I have come to regard as friends, it is a lot harder than that.
Situation 1
I am going to call this guy "Mr. Entertain Me".
I met Mr. Entertain Me over a year ago in chat. We have shared some real life discussion throughout our "friendship" and I had added him to kik. After a few months of talking regularly, both about real life stuff as well as some kinky stuff, life got busy and we went a month or two without talking.
When he popped up next, Mr. Entertain Me asked how I was and without even waiting for an answer, asked for messy dare suggestions. I was a bit annoyed, so I just told him I was busy and didn't want to talk about kinky stuff. He said that is ok and went on his way.
A week later, he messaged me again. This time he asked if I was doing better and I told him I was really stressed out. He suggested that helping him with a messy dare would help take my mind off things. I politely declined and he disappeared.
The next day he asked me if I would vote for him in an online poll. I said sure and did it. I like to support my friends. I asked him how he was doing and he told me all about the poll and the torture he was going to receive if he lost. I laughed along with him and told him good luck.
He messaged me a few hours later to let me know he lost. Because he lost, he had to do a messy edge every time he saw a photo that made him have a dirty thought. He continued to say things like "you aren't going to send me any photos are you?" when I said "No, I support my friends" he would say "Good!" but then ask again a few minutes later, or try to tell me what he would have to do if he did. It was clear he wanted me to send him a photo and torture him.
The same conversation continued every day or so for two weeks before I snapped!
I love to support my friends. I am there for them if they need a virtual hug, a friend to talk to or lean on, friendly advice or just somebody to listen. I am there for them if they need help with a getDare game or kinky advice.
When I get to know somebody I don't mind sharing details of my personal life, or seeking their opinion or advice and I love to ask for help with kinky games, dares etc. I also am known for sharing pics with my friends.
But when I start to feel like I am being used, or being pushed into sharing photos that I don't want to share, I get angry!
Situation 2
"Mr. Sneaky" was very slick. We had a few conversations in chat and bonded over a shared experience. I gave him my kik information and we began to chat a bit. I am very open with the fact that I have a Dom and that I moved across the country to live with him and that we are engaged! Even if somebody doesn't know that when we meet, it comes up in conversation pretty quickly and is very evident on my profile.
So Mr. Sneaky and I conversed back and forth for a month or so. The first day we talked quiet a bit but after that it went pretty slow. One of us asking a question and the other not answering for a few days or so.
This weekend he messaged me again. This is the actual conversation that happened:
Mr. S - Have you been getting my messages?
Me - Just this one since June 3
Mr. S - Weird, so I had to delete kik and have had issues since downloading and updating. Seems to be working now?
Me - That sucks
Mr. S. - It does, it has completely left me out of the getdare bdsm game. Which is like the worst thing ever haha.
Me - Awww. I honestly haven't been on getdare for more than 5 min in more than 2 months.
Mr. S - Yeah I know that you mean. I usually check in and leave it alone for periods of time. I recently put up another ad and checked in today. Have you been in any relationships?
Me - Nice. I am actually engaged to my Dom and have been with him for 2 years. We get married next year.
Mr. S - Oh wow that must be an interesting dynamic.
Me - It is great. We are less d/s than we were when we lived across the country from each other. We have normal dates and relaxation days and normal sex and normal fights. We are pretty much a normal couple with the exception that we are kinky. So we get playtime and get to take sexy pics and show our gd friends and we put a kinky spin on things.
(Next morning)
Mr. S - So this might sount just a liiitttllleeeee crazy but what would you think about giving it a shot with me as your Dom? Like a secret side thing?
Me - That is incredibly rude! Asking if you can have his permission to Dom me is one thing but to ask me to do it secretly is awful. He isn't just dome guy who happens to Dom me online. He is the man I am going to marry and I dont keep secrets from him. Having you Dom me would be worse than me having sex with a random guy. In order for me to submit I have to give myself completely to you. I would never even think of doing that to him.
Mr. S - Yeah, I really don't care if you think that is rude.
Me. - Glad to know. It says a lot about you as a person.
Mr. S - Haha no, just says how little I care about you and your life
FRIENDSHIP ENDED!!!!
This conversation makes me livid! When somebody asks me to be their sub and I politely tell them I am taken, I expect them to back off. When people disrespect me enough to continue to push or ask me to do something behind Asslvr's back, it starts a fire inside me.
How can somebody expect you to enter into a relationship with them if they don't care about your life. How can they expect you to trust them with your safety and emotional well being during a play session if they can't respect you.
On top of that, how can they expect me to choose a quicky play session with somebody who I barely know in trade for screwing up a two year relationship with a man I am madly in love with? Who in their right mind would even consider this?
Urg!!! I may need to reconsider a new screening process for my "friends" because it seems like my decisions haven't been so great over the last few months.
Rant over.
Total Comments 9
Comments
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Hmm at least the second one was honest when he said that. (But seriously, who in the right mind is going to sub for someone who doesn't care about them and their life?)
And being pushed and used makes people angry. I don't see how it wouldn't. No one can blame you for snapping.
As for the screening process, I don't think anyone has mastered that yet. (People manage to sneak in, some to more people than others, it happens.)Posted 06-20-2016 at 03:36 AM by LitDarkness 
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See, the trick is, if you are going to be an arsehole and a false friend, you do it like I do, and dont tell the person in question you are using them like I am using butterfly... oh, shit.
The world is full of idiots, unfortunately, and we will all encounter our share. The only good thing about people like that is they provide a context in which to view people like you, butterfly. If they werent so horrible, we wouldnt appreciate how lovely you are.Posted 06-20-2016 at 04:17 AM by AbusiveMaster
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Hi,
What amazes me is that someone was able to sneak in, and only got caught after multiple month. Boy...... Should i be afraid? I once had someone with who i was messaging for 2weeks that i than discovered to be false. It was kind of bad, but it made sense. It was about that time things started to become personal.
I really get into the feeling that once starting to share personal feelings it will become very difficult to keep in disguise. I would say, 2 weeks max.Posted 06-20-2016 at 06:27 AM by sir stefan
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I wish there was a better way to screen people. I know there will always be somebody who slips in, it was too much for me when it was two in the same time frame.Quote:Originally Posted by TheKidWithSkills
Hmm at least the second one was honest when he said that. (But seriously, who in the right mind is going to sub for someone who doesn't care about them and their life?)
And being pushed and used makes people angry. I don't see how it wouldn't. No one can blame you for snapping.
As for the screening process, I don't think anyone has mastered that yet. (People manage to sneak in, some to more people than others, it happens.)Posted 06-20-2016 at 07:06 PM by Butterfly
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That is exactly where they messed up! They let it slip way to easy! I honestly don't understand why they can't just be upfront. If they would have said "I have enough friends, I am just looking for somebody to swap dares and pictures with" then I at least I would know. Just be upfront!!!! Grrrrrr.....Quote:Originally Posted by AbusiveMaster
See, the trick is, if you are going to be an arsehole and a false friend, you do it like I do, and dont tell the person in question you are using them like I am using butterfly... oh, shit.
The world is full of idiots, unfortunately, and we will all encounter our share. The only good thing about people like that is they provide a context in which to view people like you, butterfly. If they werent so horrible, we wouldnt appreciate how lovely you are.
But alas I guess you're right, and thank you for saying I am lovely.Posted 06-20-2016 at 07:11 PM by Butterfly
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I guess some people are better at it. To be fair, with the second one we talked very far and in between, so it was probably more like a weeks worth in chat over the span of a few months. With the first, it started out as a friendship as well as swapping of dares and pictures but after awhile, the friendship disappeared and I became just a way for him to entertain himself when he was bored and horny.Quote:Originally Posted by sir stefan
Hi,
What amazes me is that someone was able to sneak in, and only got caught after multiple month. Boy...... Should i be afraid? I once had someone with who i was messaging for 2weeks that i than discovered to be false. It was kind of bad, but it made sense. It was about that time things started to become personal.
I really get into the feeling that once starting to share personal feelings it will become very difficult to keep in disguise. I would say, 2 weeks max.
I am the same way, I very early in a relationship share personal details as I am a very open person. It is so hard for me not to be myself.Posted 06-20-2016 at 07:20 PM by Butterfly
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I'm very sorry you've had a rough time with people. Neither is being decent to you, and you certainly have every right to be enraged. The gall of some people is just...staggering. It is with great satisfaction they are blocked. I don't know which bothers me more, someone who tries to manipulate me into fulfilling their desires or someone who blatantly disrespects my relationship. Either makes me feel icky.Posted 06-20-2016 at 07:26 PM by naughtylittlegirl
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I agree with everything said above.
I dont understand how people can be so rude. I mean, when I am upset/pissed at someone I can be rude, but these people had 0 reasons to be rude towards you.
Especially the second guy pisses me off. He's comes across as one of those people who would gladly let someone suffer (in a not-nice way) just so he can have a bit of fun/amusement himself. People like that trully make me angry.
Anyhow, sorry you had to deal with this, and may the next few weeks be better for you, with lots of happy moments!Posted 06-21-2016 at 01:41 AM by Unidentified
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That Mr. S convo really baffles me. How can anybody be so rude!? I know it happens but still.. it's completely perplexing.Posted 11-08-2016 at 07:20 AM by Jaro 
