On being dug
"He really digs you."
A friend said that to me about a mutual friend. I felt myself pulling back. Which is weird because that's a flattering thing to be told. And he is a really awesome guy.
Maybe I just have trouble believing that someone could "dig" me. I do pretty much always believe deep down that I'm inferior. No matter what evidence I may have to the contrary.
And I think it scared me a little. A statement like that says to me that he attaches easily. Which isn't a problem, per se. Except that I do not attach easily. And a one-sided, or even extremely unbalanced, attachment always feels awkward to me. And it leads back to my inferiority issues. Because maybe if I were "better" somehow, I would be able to connect with others.
*Today's soul-searching inspired by Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski. It's about women's sexuality and has a strong emphasis on encouraging you to acknowledge, examine, and challenge the toxic beliefs we acquire from our society.
A friend said that to me about a mutual friend. I felt myself pulling back. Which is weird because that's a flattering thing to be told. And he is a really awesome guy.
Maybe I just have trouble believing that someone could "dig" me. I do pretty much always believe deep down that I'm inferior. No matter what evidence I may have to the contrary.
And I think it scared me a little. A statement like that says to me that he attaches easily. Which isn't a problem, per se. Except that I do not attach easily. And a one-sided, or even extremely unbalanced, attachment always feels awkward to me. And it leads back to my inferiority issues. Because maybe if I were "better" somehow, I would be able to connect with others.
*Today's soul-searching inspired by Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski. It's about women's sexuality and has a strong emphasis on encouraging you to acknowledge, examine, and challenge the toxic beliefs we acquire from our society.
Total Comments 7
Comments
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You are NOT inferior! And you are wonderful and beautiful and amazing. The end.Posted 03-31-2015 at 03:23 PM by IceMaiden 
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I have never thought about dig meaning attaches easily. Its not a word I use to describe a girl either really but if I did use it I would think it means I find her intriguing and I would like to spend more time getting to know her better. Also as a side note I know that you don't need me to tell you this but you are pretty amazing yourself! Don't let anyone or even yourself tell or lead you to believe otherwise.Posted 03-31-2015 at 04:17 PM by Shadowice
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All I can think is - 1) Doesn't that mean you should be Douglas? :P
2) What if they don't dig you in such a manner? What if they've misread the situation or misinterpreted something the "digger" has said (or even what he meant by digs you)?
Bottom line - him digging you ain't no thang until you or they make it one (by you letting it cause ourself confusion or to allow extra thoughts towards your inferiority complexes or by him approaching you about it).Posted 03-31-2015 at 09:01 PM by DoingMyBest
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P.S. You supafly, yo'.
Posted 03-31-2015 at 09:02 PM by DoingMyBest
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Ah I know what you mean! Once upon a time, when I was dug, it felt funky. To some degree, I wanted to be un-dug - like it felt weird and foreign to be dug. It's like "me" and "dug" are like oil and water. There's part of me who's flattered, part of me who wants to run from it, and part of me who feels unworthy of it or confused by it.
I don't think you're worse-off for not being able to attach as quickly as your um...dugger. I really respect people who take time to dig into others and attach. I feel like in that way, a more meaningful relationship is created.
Although, like DoingMyBest said, maybe he totally doesn't dig you like that! Maybe it's like a "you're cool" kinda dug. Even in the alternate case, it's not too much trouble if he doesn't do anything creepy about his affections, right? o_OPosted 03-31-2015 at 10:54 PM by Clerisyberry
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A glitter loving rope expert and toy collecting Disney cosplayer like you should never have to feel inferior. You should feel superior! Also, you're friendly. Not many people are friendly like you. I like you!
Posted 04-02-2015 at 02:48 PM by drwarschauu
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@IceMaiden: I love your face too!
@Shadowice: I probably am a touch too sensitive towards people actually liking me. It colors my perceptions a bit.
Thank you for your input and being a voice of reason though!
@Bangle: Or Dug Lyss? hehe, maybe
And you're right, of course. But it helps me to acknowledge that my fears are unfounded.
@Clerisyberry: Oh, he's not creepy at all! He's awesome and cuddly and picks me up and swings me around. But it's still a little odd to be told by a third party that he likes me.
@Dwarf: I am hardly a rope expert! Let's not start bandying that around. But you did list lots of awesome things. And thanks! I try to be friendly... when I'm not messing with trolls. Sometimes I even like to be friendly then too.Posted 04-05-2015 at 04:04 PM by kittenlyss
