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Oh, you'll settle down one day...

Posted 01-06-2016 at 03:25 PM by kittenlyss

... a friend told me recently. Settle down into what?, I thought. I don't feel particularly unsettled now. Ok, my social life is currently on the "unsettled" end of the conventional scale. But I have a slightly obsessive personality. Until I feel that I have explored this wonderful alternative lifestyle I've been introduced to fully enough to have a firm grasp on what part I want it to play in my life and what I want from it, I'm going to continue to focus a majority of my attention here. Will I one day have a nice steady, long-term committed relationship (or maybe more than one)? Quite possibly. And maybe then my friends will congratulate me on finally settling down. But I sincerely hope I never start to think of myself as settled down. I'd rather I always think of life as an adventure
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  1. Old Comment
    starbaby13's Avatar
    I like that you think of life as an adventure, and wish you luck in your exploration.
    Posted 01-07-2016 at 09:40 PM by starbaby13 starbaby13 is offline
  2. Old Comment
    naughtylittlegirl's Avatar
    I think what irritates me the most about such comments is they assume things about me that the person a) could not possibly know in the first place and b) has gotten entirely wrong anyway. So kudos for living your life, and letting it be defined by whatever you want it to include and not some vague, media-induced image of what someone ought to do.

    You are so much more interesting than that, my pixie friend.
    Posted 01-08-2016 at 12:08 AM by naughtylittlegirl naughtylittlegirl is offline
  3. Old Comment
    StrawDog's Avatar
    Yes, there are a wide variety of meanings packed into such a small, innocuous phrase, and most of them are not as benevolent as we'd like to believe. It's quite sad, really.

    You're in an age-range where you're going to hear that a lot, from your peers as much as anyone else. I'd argue people who say that are more interested in the 'help' or comfort it gives them, rather than you; it's a reaffirmation of their own beliefs and values.

    It's also ironic, considering that many of the perceived goals bound within the phrase are changing in society and issues faced with this generation; marriage is statistically not stable, homes increasingly unaffordable, life-goals and ambitions changing with an access to information that has never existed, increased reports of dissatisfaction and unhappiness... yet we hold on to that old nonsense, mostly because it's easier than unpacking it and breaking down what it consists of.

    It makes me happy to think of your adventures, and to know that you're somewhere in the world, not selling yourself short. Long may that continue.
    Posted 01-08-2016 at 08:08 AM by StrawDog StrawDog is online now
  4. Old Comment
    kittenlyss's Avatar
    @starbaby13: I get most of my life lessons from Disney

    hasn't failed me yet. Well... that's probably another story.

    I think what irritates me the most about such comments is they assume things about me that the person a) could not possibly know in the first place and b) has gotten entirely wrong anyway. So kudos for living your life, and letting it be defined by whatever you want it to include and not some vague, media-induced image of what someone ought to do.

    You are so much more interesting than that, my pixie friend.
    @naughtylittlegirl: To be fair, this did come from a fairly good friend that I've known for most of my adult life. And I don't think she meant to be condescending. But it did feel like it was said with the tone that I too could aspire to be where she is in life right now. And I think that there's a chance I might eventually look settled down to her. Maybe one of the most difficult things about hearing her say that was actually realizing how much we've drifted apart and how vastly our paths differ.

    Oh, and you're a pretty interesting yourself.


    Yes, there are a wide variety of meanings packed into such a small, innocuous phrase, and most of them are not as benevolent as we'd like to believe. It's quite sad, really.

    You're in an age-range where you're going to hear that a lot, from your peers as much as anyone else. I'd argue people who say that are more interested in the 'help' or comfort it gives them, rather than you; it's a reaffirmation of their own beliefs and values.

    It's also ironic, considering that many of the perceived goals bound within the phrase are changing in society and issues faced with this generation; marriage is statistically not stable, homes increasingly unaffordable, life-goals and ambitions changing with an access to information that has never existed, increased reports of dissatisfaction and unhappiness... yet we hold on to that old nonsense, mostly because it's easier than unpacking it and breaking down what it consists of.

    It makes me happy to think of your adventures, and to know that you're somewhere in the world, not selling yourself short. Long may that continue.

    @StrawDog: All the different meanings make the word nerd part of my brain happy. I just wish they weren't all so... depressing.

    The more I think about it, the more I tie it into settling for something, which is probably the worst connotation you could give it.

    Enough about the icky things though. I think I may adopt Dr. Lindsey Doe's motto and start applying it to life in general.

    Stay curious!
    Posted 01-08-2016 at 08:02 PM by kittenlyss kittenlyss is offline
 

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