Re:Thoughts!!
Posted 01-29-2015 at 02:08 AM by MasterDaddy02
Well, I had a certain problem that took place on gd, in which I was not happy with. As, those of you know in which I strongly believe in the word "respect." It was not shown in the matter in which, the sub should of did it. She, totally disrespected me as a master from her actions. Yes, I was mad due in part from that she contact me first. I was following up from that first contact, and was in the process of starting to chat. Then, that sub, left the private room on me, without discussion anything.
Respect should of been shown to me since she is the one who wish to chat. Respect also should of been shown to me, since I am a Master\Dom. That sub, did not do either. Yes, I did email the sub, and gave her a piece of my mind. Since, she should known better and that you cannot disrespect a Master\Dom in that matter.
Respect, is a two way street. It is not just a one way street in which, one side gets it and the other side don't. Their are those who feel it is that way and they are wrong on it. You must show it in order to receive it back.
I was thinking in my mind, of listing her name on this blog. But, I am not going to lower myself down to her level. Because, that is not the kind of person I am.
In closing, I would just like to leave this thought in your mind. Remember that when you make that contact, you are doing it first. Please show that respect to the party you have reach out too.
Respect should of been shown to me since she is the one who wish to chat. Respect also should of been shown to me, since I am a Master\Dom. That sub, did not do either. Yes, I did email the sub, and gave her a piece of my mind. Since, she should known better and that you cannot disrespect a Master\Dom in that matter.
Respect, is a two way street. It is not just a one way street in which, one side gets it and the other side don't. Their are those who feel it is that way and they are wrong on it. You must show it in order to receive it back.
I was thinking in my mind, of listing her name on this blog. But, I am not going to lower myself down to her level. Because, that is not the kind of person I am.
In closing, I would just like to leave this thought in your mind. Remember that when you make that contact, you are doing it first. Please show that respect to the party you have reach out too.
Total Comments 24
Comments
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I understand that it's common courtesy not to disappear on someone. Common courtesy.
However, you do not automatically gain respect because you are a dom. Respect is something that is earned.
Also, what is wrong with her contacting you first? I contact my dom all of the time! And interrupt him. I don't expect an immediate response. However, it doesn't mean I don't initiate contact.
Also, people suddenly leave private chats a lot. Sometimes, I accept random ones and once I tell them that I'm interested in sparkles and ancient literature... they just leave. Was it polite? No. In the end, it doesn't really matter.
Did you mention you were irritated that she contacted you first? because...(if so) I would have ran away from that conversation.
What it comes down to... is that it's not disrespectful
because you call yourself a master/dom. It disrespects common courtesy and politeness.
You have to earn respect.Posted 01-29-2015 at 05:43 AM by eivins 
Updated 01-29-2015 at 10:18 AM by eivins -
Lizzy pretty much summed it up.
I think you mis-used the word 'respect'.
Respect is earned, not automatically given when a submissive/or anyone else for that matter, starts talking to you first (or whether you contacted her).
It is impolite to drop out of a conversation however, you have no clue what happened to the submissive irl, she could have experienced a power outage for all we know.Posted 01-29-2015 at 06:14 AM by M.G
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I love it when Lizzy contacts me! Why would you think that's disrespectful? Isn't it lovely that there's someone that wants to spend time with you?
And it's been said before, but respect is to be earned, not expected. I feel like I've earned Lizzy's respect and she only calls me Sir when we play because she chooses to.Posted 01-29-2015 at 06:27 AM by drwarschauu
Updated 01-29-2015 at 06:43 AM by drwarschauu -
Lizzy said it all so perfectly! I'm also really happy to see some Doms agreeing with her, it lifts my heart. I believe in behaving with common decency to everyone I interact with, but D/s respect is definitely something earned, and once a relationship is established. I call my Dominant 'Sir' ALOT, because it came naturally with him and with our relationship.
As M.G. said, maybe something happened in real life to her, you never know what else is going on in someone's life from a brief interaction.
Best of luck to you!Posted 01-29-2015 at 09:10 AM by justJane
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Yeah, I'm with those who commented above - being a 'master' doesn't entitle you. If you want a certain protocol followed, the other person has to a) know about it and b) agree to it, meaning it ought to be negotiated first, so unless that happened and she deliberately broke it I'm not seeing why you're so put off. Things happen, as others have pointed out, and sometimes chats get cut off, RL interferes, etc., and I think you could stand to at least give her the benefit of the doubt and let her explain first before chewing her out because you're offended. You know, because you 'must show in order to receive it back.'Posted 01-29-2015 at 09:15 AM by naughtylittlegirl
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"Respect also should of been shown to me, since I am a Master\Dom." I take a lot of issue with this. There's a difference between being a master/dom and being entitled. An entitled person thinks that everyone owes them something, and that everyone should be please to have them around. A master/dom is someone who engages in a consensual relationship with another person with mutually agreed boundaries. None of this 'I'm a dom therefore I'm better hahahahahaaaa'; that's bollocks.
Taking for granted that the way you identify in yourself means of a higher social standing and being able to control other's actions is something I hope is being stamped out in the world. Y'know after things like the apartheid and the mass genocides of the 20th century. I'm not saying you're like that, but it's a way of applying that ideology in order to demonstrate how it can't be right for relationships.
If a sub approaches you, the best way to treat them is like another human being. One with hopes, dreams, thoughts, feelings, desires, fears, nerves, and opinions; just like any dom has. Saying that they shouldn't approach you because they're a sub makes them sound like a piece of meat in a shop. They're not. They're living, breathing, fucking human beings.
Final point; people have lives outside of this chatroom which they tend to retreat to when offended. Y'know, the reason that sub probably approached you would have been because they were interested in getting to know you. They're probably not anymore, hence why they left you.Posted 01-29-2015 at 10:07 AM by An_Jon
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Ahhh Lizzy and An_Jon.. Thank you!!!!! Yes yes yes.
I have so many problems with this. First, I practice treating everyone with the same common courtesy and politeness whether they are Dom, sub, slave, pet, little, Master, confused as fuck having an identity crisis, or whatever. Until someone does something to me that proves they aren't willing to give me the same courtesy I'm trying to give them, then they are just another person who deserves that level of courtesy from me.
I don't need to say how much I disagree with the "I deserve respect solely because I'm a Master!" mentality because my friends above have already done so. But what I do want to mention is if that is how you think, I'm scared of what your thoughts on the inverse are... Do you believe that because you are a D-type that you have the right to treat anyone who is an s-type with less respect or common courtesy?
Do you think that s-types automatically assume a submissive position to any and all D-types? Because that's dangerous. As obvious as this sounds to me, identifying as a submissive or slave or any variation thereof does not mean "everyone can treat me like I'm less than them". Because the vast majority of s-types I know are 'subordinate' or 'submissive' to only their D-type or to very select people. You EARN that position, you don't assume it.
I am getting more and more irritated as I write this so I'm going to stop there.Posted 01-29-2015 at 11:10 AM by **Mandi**
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Like Mandi said, you earn a dominant position, you don't assume it. And I'm with everyone above me, respect is earned, not given. People leave private chats suddenly for all sorts of reasons. Maybe her kitchen caught fire, or her cat started choking. Or maybe you demanding respect turned her off and she ran away screaming.
As far as you repetitively pointing out that she contacted you first...that doesn't make her obligated to continue the conversation. It's entirely possible to have a good first impression of someone and want to get to know more, and then once you start talking, to realize you're not compatible or you just flat out don't like them. If that happens, yes it's polite to communicate that you no longer wish to continue the conversation. Polite, but not obligatory.Posted 01-29-2015 at 11:39 AM by jlstockton25
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Okay, let me put it this way..
I was expecting the same kind of respect, in which I would give to the person. Bottom line.. Let's throw out the titles.. That is it.. She email me first.. The common sense of respect.. I should of be more clear..Posted 01-29-2015 at 11:43 AM by MasterDaddy02
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The comments from what I wrote are good. Some took off like crazy. Then others took the common approach. I will say, yes I should of left titles out of it. Which at the time, I just did it and posted. Respect, is that normal standard of all. What I wrote was fast. Away from this in public, I handle a staff of 150 people. They have been with my company for ten years plus. I do show that respect to each person. Their are people who want to work for me left and right, because of my respect.
Posted 01-29-2015 at 12:15 PM by MasterDaddy02
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A submissive deserves just as much respect for their "title" as any Dominant does, like everyone said, once it is earned.
Sounds to me like this girl leaving that chat was the best thing she could have done.
In fact, she earns my respect just for doing it.Posted 01-29-2015 at 12:17 PM by Saddi
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If they don't call you boss do you fire them?Quote:Originally Posted by MasterDaddy02
Away from this in public, I handle a staff of 150 people. They have been with my company for ten years plus. I do show that respect to each person. Their are people who want to work for me left and right, because of my respect.
Because that's your logic here.Posted 01-29-2015 at 12:24 PM by Saddi
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My staff call me my first name. My staff is also good friends outside of the office. I give great bonuses to my staff. I give back to my staff. I let my staff off without firing them. They are well paid and with vacation time off. You are wrong to make me out to be something I am not. How many jobs, will let you call in a couple of hours before you have to be there. Then you need emergency leave due to a sick child or a sick parent for a few days. Then get paid for it. They do at my company. Or let you borrow the company jet to get to that sick person. Well, they do at my company. Not many companies offer that to a staff member, who makes $38k a year.
Posted 01-29-2015 at 01:06 PM by MasterDaddy02
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You respect your employees because of your relationship and vice versa. People don't automatically deserve respect. It happens over time. What everyone does deserve, in my opinion, is common courtesy. Did this girl show it to you? I would say she didn't, but I'm not privy to your chat session either. You could have said something that scared her.
That being said, the issue that bothered everyone is that you stated that you deserve respect based on your "title" as a Dom. You said, respect that should have been shown to me since I am a master/dom. You go on to say that you cannot disrespect a master/dom
in this way. This is the problem. You shouldn't treat people that way. Not they shouldn't treat a dom that way.
If you didn't mean that, then you shouldn't have put it that way and repeated it over and over again- making your status so very clear.Posted 01-29-2015 at 01:29 PM by eivins
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Okay, removing any and all reference to titles and roles, based on your clarifying comment, let me see if I understand you correctly: A woman contacted you on here, which you didn't like. Then while you were replying she logged out of chat unexpectedly, with no explanation. You then took this as a great offense and sent her an email to give her "a piece of your mind."
Now, if I have that all correct, then my first conclusion is you must have difficulty fitting through doorways with that ego. Is it rude to log out of chat without a word? Yes. But not enough to warrant telling them off, at least in polite society, and certainly not enough to want to call them out by name (or username in this case) as you indicated you were tempted to do. Really? This is the hill you're going to die on? If you were in the middle of a session, and she just up and left because she didn't give a damn about you, then yeah, rant away. But as several people have pointed out, you don't know everything that happened on her end, you don't even know this person apart from a few messages exchanged, and even if we assume worst case scenario, all it means is this person might be a bit flaky - move on.
And regarding your claim that your understanding of titles and roles had nothing to do with why you were offended, I direct your attention to this quotation taken directly from your post: "Respect also should of been shown to me, since I am a Master\Dom. That sub, did not do either. Yes, I did email the sub, and gave her a piece of my mind. Since, she should known better and that you cannot disrespect a Master\Dom in that matter." I'm not sure how else we were supposed to interpret that except that you have some pretty well-established ideas regarding how dominants and submissives ought to interact, with which those who have commented so far do not agree. So either that is one massive fucking typo or you, sir, struggle greatly with logic.Posted 01-29-2015 at 01:29 PM by naughtylittlegirl
Updated 01-29-2015 at 01:33 PM by naughtylittlegirl -
Llizzy, I should of left titles out of it is the bottom line. Okay, that is the key factor in which I did make that mistake! I am admitting that. So, I do wish to make that clear to everyone!! I also wish to apologies in how it sounds!! Everyone is making me to be something I am not! So, look at it on simply grounds without any titles at all.
Posted 01-29-2015 at 01:46 PM by MasterDaddy02
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Okay titles aside.
The girl left a conversation without telling you, she had her own reasons and perhaps a good one but you had JUST started talking so she didn't owe you any explanation.
Get over it maybe.Posted 01-29-2015 at 02:05 PM by Saddi
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Alright, so you admit the titles are wrong. I'm glad you understand that.
Seriously though, read Naughtylittlegirl's comment right above. No reply for what she said?Posted 01-29-2015 at 02:06 PM by eivins
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Alright, so you admit the titles are wrong. I'm glad you understand that.
Seriously though, read Naughtylittlegirl's comment right above. No reply for what she said?Posted 01-29-2015 at 02:06 PM by eivins
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I think he likes you more than me, Lizzy
Posted 01-29-2015 at 02:13 PM by naughtylittlegirl
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Naughtlittlegirl, I see your point too!! I understand it too! I made a mistake with some words. So, thank you..
Posted 01-29-2015 at 02:24 PM by MasterDaddy02
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Sorry for spelling error!! Naughtylittlegirl.
Posted 01-29-2015 at 02:27 PM by MasterDaddy02
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I am quite late to the party as many of the girls already ripped you a new one. Basically to everyone on this site they owe you zero respect just because you consider yourself a dom or master or whatever title you feel like putting in front of your name. You have to go out there and earn it for yourself with each and every person you wish to respect you. If you ever feel the need to demand someone respect you, you are doing it completely wrong and should probably go back and read some more on how to be a dom.
I have never once ever told someone respect me or even asked them to address me a certain way. I like to think that I have the respect of many people due to the way I carry myself and interact with people. Ya someone may message me and be annoying but you can take a page out of the girls books and turn it into a troll adventure and make it fun and exciting, or you can be bitter and make yourself look like a fool in front of the whole site. Choose carefully most of us don't have short memories and remember and avoid people that like to make an ass out of themselves on a regular basis or insist they be treated a certain way.Posted 01-29-2015 at 11:13 PM by Shadowice
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The real issue here, MasterDaddy02? I think it's a lack of self-confidence on your part. This is something you need to work on, as a minor infraction of what you see as respectful conduct should never throw you into those paroxysms of anger (the rant) and revenge (the email).
I'd recommend you review your approach to this whole thing. Think first about adopting a new name that doesn't have 'Master' in it, as that has connotations I'd steer away from. Think about developing a somewhat thicker skin - one that allows you to experience a minor slight such as a sudden withdrawal from chat without immediately arcing up to fire off a chastising email to the sub. Take more of the vagaries of life (in gD at least) with humour. If I were to react like you have to every little thing that goes wrong or seems 'disrespectful', I'd be heading to an early grave.
Take a look at my profile page. In the visitor messages section, butterfly has left an image lampooning my Gandalf avatar. I could easily see that as disrespectful, if my ego was so fragile as to be dented by something like that. Instead, I think it's hilarious. Even if it were meant with disrespect (I know it's not), I'd still find it funny - because it would not do me any actual harm.
And there's the basic message. Lose the aura of self-importance and treat things a little more lightly. You'll find life is more fun that way and less stressful. For you as well as those around you.
@naughtylittlegirl - I'm so glad I'm on your side! The words 'verbal Howitzer' come to mind...
@everyone else - Well said.Posted 01-29-2015 at 11:28 PM by Wardell
