Superior Intellect = Kinky ;)

[Ch3rry B0mb]

Heh, so I was having a [sarcasm]lovely[/sarcasm] discussion with a potential Dom, who shall, for propriety's sake, remain nameless. During this particular conversation, I found myself repeatedly rubbing my temples in an attempt to soothe away the annoying precursor of a migraine. Why the frustration? Simple.

I had told him that I find it 'impossible' to serve a Dom whom I feel is not above par, intellectually speaking (IOW...a Dom who isn't smarter than me). I will admit I have a slightly abrasive personality and a knack for trolling trolls. Outside of a Dom/sub relationship, I am an -extremely- aggressive and dominating person. I've been asked on several occasions, "Are you sure you're not a Domme?" If you know me, you won't have to ask this question. :P

Moving on, this person politely, and quite seriously, informed me of his opinion and, thus, I quote, "A sub should always know, whether in a relationship or not, that a Dom is always superior to her, whether or not he's smarter than her."

I damn near fell out of my seat in a fit of giggles.

My number one, most epic of all time, get me wet between the thighs and have me begging for more kink is....superior intellect. (Not really surprising considering the human's largest sexual organ is the brain.) If I can trump your opinions, thoughts, and views with an onslaught of verbal superiority, a plethora of intellectual text bombs, or even a smattering of well-written common sense.....I cannot, will not, "serve" you. If I am smarter than you, you can not be superior to me. Period. End story.

Please note that I did not say that I -am- smarter than you...simply "if" I am.


Opinions? Discuss.

[slave_guy]

Frankly, if the Dom/Domme doesn't have a superior intellect, the sub will get bored. Intellect keeps things interesting. A disinterested sub is a sub who will look for a new D.

[The Natural]

If the sheep outsmarts the wolf... the wolf becomes the fool...

Or something like that.

[MasterKyp]

Cherry,

Well said! Nothin' like smarts to get one ridiculously turned on.

*sits awkwardly to hide his crotch while smiling at Cherry*

[CollaredBlondie]

Oh, that's true. I adore intelligent conversation. There's nothing better to keep my attention with. Well, I mean, it doesn't really have to be superior intelligence with me even, just intelligence. I like it when folk know what they're talking about; but are still open to people saying that they're wrong (whether this is true or not is a different matter) and willing to listen to why. Ie; not arrogant.

Another thing, that I consider in the same vein as this is spelling. When I made my own ad awhile back, a few folk who applied didn't exactly have the greatest spelling in the world. Now, because I'm essentially an English student/major; spellling is hugely important to me. If I'm supposed to be the sub and I have better spelling than you, I find it really difficult to respect you and take you seriously. (Especially if you're older than me andtryig to Dom me.) Of course, I can let go a few slip ups, both spelling and grammar wise, I mean, I'm certainly not perfect and I'd be foolish to think otherwise, but constand errors, or worse, chat speak? Sorry, no thank you...

[turntabletim]

Originally Posted by CollaredBlondie

I like it when folk know what they're talking about; but are still open to people saying that they're wrong (whether this is true or not is a different matter) and willing to listen to why. Ie; not arrogant.

I think you've hit the nail on the head there, so long as you're open you can learn. As soon as you think that you know something and don't need to learn anymore, then you have a blind faith, an arrogance which holds you back...

"Wisest is he who knows he does not know" - Socrates/Plato?... A rocket scientist/doctor/ CEO/philosopher are obvious examples of people with high intellect; yet they may still lack emotional intelligence/experience. On the other hand somebody who has a great deal of empathy/apathy may be the most caring person ever and be really popular; but they might be innumerate and unable to read/write.

I guess with a sub/Dom relationship the sub is looking towards the Dom/me for an all rounded intellect. They want someone who is 'superior' to them in a way that inspires/challenges them. They look to the Dom/me for direction, guidance and clarity. Not to say that a dom/me would be superior to them in all walks of life but in the context of BDSM they would literally be the 'Master' and the sub would be the follower.

Of course everyone has their weaknesses but for a dom to say that they are 'always superior' as in the OP's case, then the whole concept is clearly misunderstood. Even if it's just a relationship based on sex there still needs to be two way communication and mutual understanding.

That's my take on it anyway, although i could be wrong

[Anjelen]

Heh. Though you've settled for someone who can only pretend - if well, at that - to be smarter as a mentor.

JOKE!

Well done, Ch3rry - both in this thread and in keeping your head to yourself. I must admit that it's quite a turnoff for me to find that a potential submissive is vapid, even stupid; though i in no way will pretend to have a superior intellect, i'm also not going to dumb myself down for the sake of playing with a pretty face.

I have turned down girls who wouldn't know a cherry from an apple, and most likely will in the future - i have the good fortune that my Rose is easilly as clever, if more so than i am, but where her intelligence is book based, i am - compared to her - simply far more street smart. We can learn from each other - and at the same time know that we are comparable intellects, if in entirely different fields.

[Ch3rry B0mb]

Thank you, thank you! And.... I feel rather fortunate that I have you as my mentor. I'm extremely proud and happy. (Who else is willing to let me pound on his chest in anger, cry on his shoulder from sadness, and listen to me pout then make me fall out of my seat in fits of giggles?)

<3
Cherry

[Ribbit101]

I've never really considered the effect of actual intelligence upon play until reading this post... By actual, I refer to a persons IQ and other such factors rather than what i'd call percieved intelligence; for example the ability to type properly, creativity e.t.c.

I'm quite an intelligent person on both accounts, if I am bold enough to judge myself on such matters, and hope that this is carried across to my subs... I rarely pick subs who I whould judge of having drastically less 'percieved' intelligence, but on the other hand I have never really compared myself to my subs.

My IQ is ~135 as of one test that I completed. I wouldn't be particually bothered if a sub of mine had an IQ 5 or so points higher or lower, I don't think such a quantative measure is a great expression of an individuals quality.

However, as expressed by my other posts on here and even threads I have started, in my mind the majority of 'doms' on here are 13 year old idiots who think with their little Bieber-sized balls. It was only when I started domming that I realised the vast difference in attention a dom gets rather than a sub, and this is what I think attracts people to try their hand at domming, spouting out crap like "A sub should always know, whether in a relationship or not, that a Dom is always superior to her, whether or not he's smarter than her."

However, I must ask Cherry toqualify what exactly she uses to judge whether or not a potention suitor/dom is smarter than her?

[CollaredBlondie]

Originally Posted by Ribbit101

However, as expressed by my other posts on here and even threads I have started, in my mind the majority of 'doms' on here are 13 year old idiots who think with their little Bieber-sized balls.

I love you for this comment.

*runs away*

[Night-1991]

While i would NEVER consider yourself smarter than anyone else (because obviously someone else might be smarter ), a Dom/me who knows what they're doing and knows their stuff is better than the vast majority of Dom/mes who're like "ur my slave, get on cam" types.

But in someway, the Dom/me should be smart, but not too smart so that they feed their own egos with their "superior intellect"

[sweetsong]

I have a hard time having any kind of relationship with someone who is unintelligent...

I can't imagine that an intelligent dom desires a "stupid" sub... I know I wouldn't.

Anyways, I hear ya sister. Bring on the smart people.

[Ch3rry B0mb]

Originally Posted by Ribbit101

However, I must ask Cherry toqualify what exactly she uses to judge whether or not a potention suitor/dom is smarter than her?

I judge by the only means that I have available to me within the first moment. His writing. It is ridiculous, the amount of PMs that I received after posting my ad. At first, I began to respond to every single one of them; though the response was almost always, "No, thank you." The reason? It became obvious the person didn't even bother to take the time to read my post, much less, construct an intelligently written response.

For the few that did make it into the "I'll consider. Let's talk." category, the moment I said that 'intelligence' is my number one kink, he would proceed to verbally joust with me by instigating a 'debate'.

Please, don't misunderstand me. I do enjoy a debate and will admit defeat when it occurs, but when the only substance he brings to the table is the ability to twist my words into gross disfigurement instead of introducing new evidence that trumps my own....he's clearly dumber than a box of bricks and it's time for me to move on. If, however, he introduces new evidence that counters my own on a repetitive basis, "Fie, superior mind, fie, for thou hast cleft my wanton tongue and conquered my inner thoughts. I admit defeat. /swoons."

This has yet to happen on this site.

Just saying.

[Nixie]

Broad spectrum...

Love this Post...

I have "Turned Down" MANY MANY "doms" For this particular reason. How hard is it to understand my Point of view on things. If you don't got it move on. And demanding things from me at any give time When I clearly state certain Times are Unacceptable tells me.

1) You Are not listening to me and my limits.
2) You are only on here for masturbatory help.

I explain who and what I am from the beginning, while I like to learn more about you and who you are to gage where my limits will be in that particular relation. I Know when I am not listened to when the same questions spill out of "their" Mouths repeatedly and I know to give them "creeper" status...

I myself Yes I admit Don't always form intelligent words or thoughts. But when I speak all I do say comes straight from me and my heart and I don't expect to be made fun of and ridiculed. I would take this opportunity to thank the annoying fuck back...

Anyway. Truth be told. Expect me to tell you off when I catch something I don't like. It happens. And contrary to popular belief I'm smart. I just keep it to myself..... *Tucks IQ in pocket*

[Ch3rry B0mb]

Originally Posted by Night-1991

While i would NEVER consider yourself smarter than anyone else (because obviously someone else might be smarter ), a Dom/me who knows what they're doing and knows their stuff is better than the vast majority of Dom/mes who're like "ur my slave, get on cam" types.

But in someway, the Dom/me should be smart, but not too smart so that they feed their own egos with their "superior intellect"

Heh, if the Dom has the intelligence to back up his ego, he won't have to feed his ego. I'll do it for him. I suppose 'rightfully earned ego' would be another kink? Not sure. I'll have to talk to Anjelen to narrow the thought into words. (He's so good at that.)