My Suggestions Regarding Underage S/M

[Rachie]

Originally Posted by lilysmaster

In

I have heard in offsite discussions is why are mods some mods U18 and converse about s/M have access to all the areas of the site that are 18+ doesn't that seem a little incorrect. I mean I see that side and the obvious, those mods earned that positions, they are not breaking those rules, but at the same time, "U18s should not be exposed to those such things." I had a partial point to this but no point in pointing fingers and such.

This makes no sense at technically ALL AGES can READ over 18 material. People DO NOT even require to be a member to read. eg) A 7 year old COULD read about S/M if they wished, However ONLY users over the age of 18 with an Account at present can comment.

PS: When was the last time you saw an UNDER 18 moderator Posting a Comment on a SM Thread etc.

Originally Posted by lilysmaster

Another thought I had while having a discussion with a freind is that U18s should not be allowed to participate but be able to gain knowledge on it, ask questions and learn so when the are 18 they don't fly blindly into something bad. Like the parents that don't talk about sex and now have a prego 16 year old with aids.(I hope that hasn't happened...)

Therefore the above is already optional

Originally Posted by lilysmaster

The colored icon makes perfect sense, but it isn't going to stop the person. Personally I think make it a 2 week ban, you mess up again, bye bye. Of course there would be a few exceptions to this and investigating, on who propositioned and if the U18 continued with it at all.

Agree that it probably won't stop people, however they will then have no excuse about not realising the users age

Also the method in which bans are carried out is very fair and strict. It is probably not like a lot of people believe, and was pleasently shocked by the method of fairness etc

Originally Posted by Ninjota

For people who get a temporary ban, in order for them to come back onto getDare after their time expires, they should be made to read an entire list of rules, then, quizzed on them. If they fail, well, then their ban is extended, and they can try again another time, if they fail 3 times, it should be a perma-ban, because obviously they aren't reading the rules.

Just my 2 cents!

I liked this idea at first, but can see some complications

eg) When somone doesnt pass the exam (so to speak) they instantly go and make a seperate account, and try again when next possible.

Therefore i can't see this hapening, however i AGREE that there are a lot of people who have never read the rules and plenty that couldn't even find them if asked

Originally Posted by princessjessie

REMINDER!
another suggestion i have is for chat. as the moderators have a green picture next to there name on the right hand side list of the chat page, i was wondering if member under 18 could have a different colour just as a pre-warning to people that this user is not 18 and they should not ask this user for s/m.

Finishing on a positive - I like this idea, may have to re-design slightly (if somone is away etc)

But in chat it could work in the box you open to whisper to the user etc Therefore always there, even if marked as away. Probably not do the coloured dot, as this may effect the way some people chat to someone, and may get complicated etc.

JUST MY PERSONAL VIEWS AT ALMOST MIDNIGHT

Appologies late - may be poorly written

Love Rachie
x x x

[Invisible]

It seems to me that this is largely an intractable problem. The core of the problem is that there is no way of verifying the age of people on GD. I'm not even sure if ages are required to set up an account, but I do know that they don't have to be displayed - I think this would be an improvement.

This is a problem not just for underage people getting "hit on" by older people. It is also a problem for older people not being able to tell the age of the people they are interracting with. Hence, why I think making the displaying of the age compulsory would be a step forward.

The other thing I have noted is that the site does not have a landing page the comes up before you enter. On adult sites you generally have something that says "This site contains adult content..." and you have the choice to enter or not. Whilst this would not be appropriate for GD because it is open to all, it would create a place where you could put some of the rules.

Finally, the mods do a fantastic job but I know they must get inundated with requests. People who hit up underagers need to be dealt with swiftly and decisively. Some way of electronically triaging these reports as a priority would be an advantage too.

That's my two cents worth.

[princessjessie]

can i just remind people this isnt about people "verifying their age" its about how to solve the underage s/m problem

[nellybell]

Originally Posted by lilysmaster

My comment was directed about mods and s/M, was directed somewhere in particular but there is no need to point fingers or name call, it solves nothing, it would offend someone and I would just get banned.

U18s are just not suppose to participate... gotcha, but they can still see all that goes on and "corrupts" them.

Technically, you're still pointing fingers because you are refering to one person in particular. You just aren't saying the name which partically protects against people who aren't very familar with the site. For those of us that are, it isn't a hard guess.

Problem number two, they aren't being corrupted soley by the site. At this point, if they are looking for s/m related things, they were corrupted pre-site. The only way that is different is if they found this place for tord and fiddled around with s/m. To be honest, I would rather they fool around on here then on some other s/m sites. Places like collarme are INSANE. The creepy messages girls get on here are not one tenth as horrible or in the same amount recievd as there. Amazingly, I view s/m as much safer and more beginer orientated on here than there.

So, while underage s/m will never go away, I think that taking away the option to hide your age on your profile will really cut down on mistaken come-ons. That also takes away ANY excuse that someone might have for asking for underage s/m. That makes it much easier to have no pity for under 18 chasers, and can punish harder for it. Also makes it easier to identify and report rule breaking of all sorts.

It isn't a very complex thing to change, I don't think and there is just too much reason why not to change it at this point.

[jlstockton25]

Originally Posted by princessjessie

can i just remind people this isnt about people "verifying their age" its about how to solve the underage s/m problem

I honestly see this as almost the same issue. A lot of people don't know the age of the person they are talking to, so they could enter an over/under 18 relationship without even knowing it.

I personally don't like the fact that under 18's can still view the s/m section even though they can't post. If the reason they can't post is because it's illegal and improper for anyone under 18 to engage in that material, why are they allowed to look at it? If you ask me, that's just begging for them to find a way around the rules. You don't want anything worse than when you can't have it.

I really like the idea of having color codes in the chat. It's a quick, easy way to identify who is and isn't to be contacted regarding s/m.

I think the only way to truly rid this site of underage s/m is to move that whole section to Kink Talk. That's a much more appropriate outlet for that topic, and while underagers can still lie and register there, at least the people that are over 18 and genuinely want to find a dom/sub who is also over 18 have a better chance of getting it there.

There's no way I can see to completely prevent the overage/underage problem on any site. As long as there are rules, there are going to be people who want to break them. The bottom line is you can be anyone you want to on the Internet, so just take caution. Ultimate responsibility lies on the shoulders of the individuals, not the website.

[lilysmaster]

Originally Posted by Rachie

This makes no sense at technically ALL AGES can READ over 18 material. People DO NOT even require to be a member to read. eg) A 7 year old COULD read about S/M if they wished, However ONLY users over the age of 18 with an Account at present can comment.

PS: When was the last time you saw an UNDER 18 moderator Posting a Comment on a SM Thread etc.

Until this was pointed out I was not aware that everyone could still view but not post.

I have seen it as recently as last week, but there is no point in name calling, they have power I would not win. I already feel most of the site hates me anyways.

Originally Posted by Rachie

Therefore the above is already optional

I was meaning in way of being able to ask questions, get educated.

Originally Posted by Rachie

Agree that it probably won't stop people, however they will then have no excuse about not realising the users age

Also the method in which bans are carried out is very fair and strict. It is probably not like a lot of people believe, and was pleasently shocked by the method of fairness etc

I see that I was a little unclear with that portion of my post, in no way did I mean to say that it was not already fairly done, it was more or less a, if it is already not being done then it should be taken into consideration.

Originally Posted by Rachie

I liked this idea at first, but can see some complications

eg) When somone doesnt pass the exam (so to speak) they instantly go and make a seperate account, and try again when next possible.

Therefore i can't see this hapening, however i AGREE that there are a lot of people who have never read the rules and plenty that couldn't even find them if asked

Even more so, I have read the rules multiple times, I have forgotten them but I know to reference them and where to located them. However you forget things are wrong if you see longtime users do them and they don't get banned. I know it has happened but I can not think of anything off the top of my head.

Originally Posted by Rachie

Finishing on a positive - I like this idea, may have to re-design slightly (if somone is away etc)

But in chat it could work in the box you open to whisper to the user etc Therefore always there, even if marked as away. Probably not do the coloured dot, as this may effect the way some people chat to someone, and may get complicated etc.

Maybe instead of a dot, make it like the age and location that are already there.

[Invisible]

Originally Posted by princessjessie

can i just remind people this isnt about people "verifying their age" its about how to solve the underage s/m problem

Thanks but I'd prefer to see the issues canvassed more broadly so I'd suggest you don't try to moderate the discussion. There may be some good ideas that come from a broader discussion such as making ages compulsory to list.

[princessjessie]

Originally Posted by Invisible

Thanks but I'd prefer to see the issues canvassed more broadly so I'd suggest you don't try to moderate the discussion. There may be some good ideas that come from a broader discussion such as making ages compulsory to list.

fine, BUT if you think the age verifacation is a good idea how are you meant to prove it? you cant show someone your passport on anything

[jlstockton25]

Originally Posted by Invisible

Thanks but I'd prefer to see the issues canvassed more broadly so I'd suggest you don't try to moderate the discussion. There may be some good ideas that come from a broader discussion such as making ages compulsory to list.

Agree. This is a complicated issue, there's more to it than just underage s/m. I think age verification, or lack thereof, has a lot to do with underage s/m on sites like these and is very relevant to the topic.

[jlstockton25]

Originally Posted by princessjessie

fine, BUT if you think the age verifacation is a good idea how are you meant to prove it? you cant show someone your passport on anything

On a different adult website I am on, there is the option to verify your account. To do so, you e-mail the moderator a scanned picture of your drivers license, as well as a picture of yourself holding a sign that says "verify me (name of website)." Neither of these get posted anywhere on the site, it's just for the moderator. You then get a title that says "verified" next to your username.

[Invisible]

Originally Posted by princessjessie

fine, BUT if you think the age verifacation is a good idea how are you meant to prove it? you cant show someone your passport on anything

I'd suggest you re-read my comments. I said that this is an intractable problem because you cannot have age verification.

I did not say I thought it was a good idea.

[nellybell]

As much as age verification would be great, there isn't a whole lot of way that I know of. I think I heard of doing it with credit cards but that would also screw members that don't have a credit card out of being able to join/stay. I personally don't have one nor do I ever want to. I'm 18, but still can't join? Not terribly fair.

[lilysmaster]

Originally Posted by nellybell

Technically, you're still pointing fingers because you are refering to one person in particular. You just aren't saying the name which partically protects against people who aren't very familar with the site. For those of us that are, it isn't a hard guess.

It is directed at a few people to be honest, in both aspects of U18s and U18 chasers. So yes those who have been here can assume who I am talking about, proving that I am not the only one that has seen it. If you have guesses then okay, but I not saying names because I have no authority to. This also can be broadened to members who have been here for awhile that are 18+ and are starting relations with those U18.

Originally Posted by nellybell

Problem number two, they aren't being corrupted soley by the site. At this point, if they are looking for s/m related things, they were corrupted pre-site. The only way that is different is if they found this place for tord and fiddled around with s/m. To be honest, I would rather they fool around on here then on some other s/m sites. Places like collarme are INSANE. The creepy messages girls get on here are not one tenth as horrible or in the same amount recievd as there. Amazingly, I view s/m as much safer and more beginer orientated on here than there.

I agree, they should be able to get educated, not actually participate but be able to get information here and learn so they don't run off to another site and end up getting raped.

Originally Posted by nellybell

So, while underage s/m will never go away, I think that taking away the option to hide your age on your profile will really cut down on mistaken come-ons. That also takes away ANY excuse that someone might have for asking for underage s/m. That makes it much easier to have no pity for under 18 chasers, and can punish harder for it. Also makes it easier to identify and report rule breaking of all sorts.

It isn't a very complex thing to change, I don't think and there is just too much reason why not to change it at this point.

I agree completely with this, but people will still lie signing up, a little harder approach if they choose to hide age then still have U18 on their profile if they are.

Originally Posted by jlstockton25

I personally don't like the fact that under 18's can still view the s/m section even though they can't post. If the reason they can't post is because it's illegal and improper for anyone under 18 to engage in that material, why are they allowed to look at it? If you ask me, that's just begging for them to find a way around the rules. You don't want anything worse than when you can't have it.

This is and extension of a point I was making, if you are going to do it do all or nothing. Yes this is the middle ground, but seeing makes you want it more.

Originally Posted by jlstockton25

I think the only way to truly rid this site of underage s/m is to move that whole section to Kink Talk. That's a much more appropriate outlet for that topic, and while underagers can still lie and register there, at least the people that are over 18 and genuinely want to find a dom/sub who is also over 18 have a better chance of getting it there.

This has been brought up several times and it always seems to fall down to people already have ads here, are already signed up here, etc. Plus at the point if those people leave what does getDare really have left? Those 18+ that are here for TorD. A little difficult to just say oh you can register at 13 again, most of them have left and boycotted.

Originally Posted by jlstockton25

There's no way I can see to completely prevent the overage/underage problem on any site. As long as there are rules, there are going to be people who want to break them. The bottom line is you can be anyone you want to on the Internet, so just take caution. Ultimate responsibility lies on the shoulders of the individuals, not the website.

This is completely true, aside from the responsibility, it is still by law getDare's responsibility because it is in their "house," if they do not take appropriate steps to "protect" minors they are still at fault. It is a simple as no if ands of butts, if someone U18 does something involving s/M 7 day ban, if they do it again, permaban. This is being said with the current rules of course. This also goes for those 18+ doing things with those U18, if the U18 asks for it and the 18+ goes with it both should be banned. Now if the U18 has their age hidden the 18+ should be warned maybe some form of temp ban, as well as the U18 being banned. Personally with as big of a problem as it is maybe instant perma-bans are needed.

On a side note, there should be some form of way for users to plead their case if they are banned, lets say a 18+ get banned for doing things with those under 18, but the user had their age blocked, is there currently a way to point this out to mods without having to make a new account?

[Invisible]

Originally Posted by jlstockton25

On a different adult website I am on, there is the option to verify your account. To do so, you e-mail the moderator a scanned picture of your drivers license, as well as a picture of yourself holding a sign that says "verify me (name of website)." Neither of these get posted anywhere on the site, it's just for the moderator. You then get a title that says "verified" next to your username.

Yes and on some of the auction websites they do address verification, which is similar.

[lilysmaster]

Originally Posted by princessjessie

can i just remind people this isnt about people "verifying their age" its about how to solve the underage s/m problem

A small portion of the problem is people lying about their age. So where this is not the main discussion I still find it valid and adding to the conversation and agree completely.

To clarify, not to sound rude, although you are not interested in it, many many U18s are, and resort to lying about age, or just doing it. Not sure if you realized that, if you did than okay. I do understand to topic was originally about U18s that don't want it but U18s are at just as much fault for it as 18+, we should just have more common sense to not get into it.