Sister's Sleepover T or D [FICTION] - Page 12

lola78530521 · 10-05-2008, 07:12 PM

i really injoy your writing!!

hugs and hopes...

lola78530521

ShinyDemon · 10-06-2008, 11:30 AM

Again, thank you for all the comments on this story. This genuinely was my first attempt at writing a story, and when I started I didn't know how the story would progress - I literally "made it up as I went along".
Your feedback has been fantastic, and that is what kept the story going !

lola78530521 · 10-06-2008, 09:23 PM

i love your wrighting!!!

One little sujestion...

can you make a new charakter named...

Rene' ? (my freinds name is this!)

Can she be Eds,.... girl freind??

Star Shadows · 09-06-2009, 04:13 AM

I loved it though am slightly glad my mam and dad left with my little brother about halfway through or they would have been more than a little suspicious.

great writing cant wait to find alone time to read the sequal

haxial · 10-30-2009, 03:30 PM

I do have to point something out ShinyDemon...

You said a while back that you have given no clue as to where the characters live, or even what country.. Yet if you read the first part, Steve is given £50 to get food... which pretty much, or even completely locates it to UK. To avoid isolation to a specific country, you could have said:

... was given a reasonable amount of money for food...

That avoids the characters being isolated to UK..

Other than that, Brilliant story!!

ShinyDemon · 10-31-2009, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by haxial

I do have to point something out ShinyDemon...

You said a while back that you have given no clue as to where the characters live, or even what country.. Yet if you read the first part, Steve is given £50 to get food... which pretty much, or even completely locates it to UK. To avoid isolation to a specific country, you could have said:

... was given a reasonable amount of money for food...

That avoids the characters being isolated to UK..

Other than that, Brilliant story!!

Very well spotted and fair point - of course, it could have also been Egyptian Pounds, Lebanese Pound, Sudanese Pounds, Gibraltian Pounds or Sirian Pounds ;o) ... but you are probably correct.

When I wrote the first couple of chapters, which was a couple of years ago now, writing fiction was new to me. At the time, I had not even thought about a totally generic story, and this only came to me a short time afterwards. Looking back through the story, I had not noticed this before and if I could change it now I would have put something similar to what you had suggested.

Thanks again for your comments which are, as always, appreciated.

haxial · 10-31-2009, 02:46 PM

Well, I did post that quite late... and yes, it could have been other currencies aswell.

I don't mean to keep on about this suject.. but when the "£" symbol is used, 80% of the time, it refers to GBP..

ShinyDemon · 10-31-2009, 03:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by haxial

Well, I did post that quite late... and yes, it could have been other currencies aswell.

I don't mean to keep on about this suject.. but when the "£" symbol is used, 80% of the time, it refers to GBP..

No worries at all - you were quite correct in your assumption.

georgewillams · 12-13-2009, 05:52 PM

Thanks, what an amazing story!

You really did please everyone with that story!

sexydare · 07-13-2010, 02:10 AM

Great story,
glad to see a continuation

Zero · 10-26-2010, 07:43 PM

Great story!
I think you went just a little bit too far sometimes though.

Daringguy18 · 01-04-2011, 08:36 PM

I'll admit now i read the sequel first but ur writing was simply amazing Enoch that I could read the sequel then the prequel
I am an older member but not as adventurous as most here and this story really cemented my love of getdare
Thx shiny

bulldog91 · 01-23-2011, 03:37 AM

dude, your freakin nasty...i mean, this would be a great story if there wasnt all that gay crap...no offense but its kinda obvious that u r like 45 years old with no life at all, sittin around writin bout little girls fuckin their brothers and dudes suckin eachothers dicks...i mean come on man, write about a chick in college or a hot waitress, not a 12 year old who fucks her bro and a 16 year old cum guzzler...this is complete bull shit. This is too far-fetched of a story

hello_moto · 01-24-2011, 08:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bulldog91

dude, your freakin nasty...i mean, this would be a great story if there wasnt all that gay crap...no offense but its kinda obvious that u r like 45 years old with no life at all, sittin around writin bout little girls fuckin their brothers and dudes suckin eachothers dicks...i mean come on man, write about a chick in college or a hot waitress, not a 12 year old who fucks her bro and a 16 year old cum guzzler...this is complete bull shit. This is too far-fetched of a story

^ someone's a bit insecure.

This story is among the best on this site, and you're seemingly the only one who thinks otherwise. If you want a crude, cheap story; look somewhere else.

Nevertheless, it is your opinion - which you are entitled to. However, don't feel like you have the right to insult someone much more talented than yourself.

henryzz · 01-24-2011, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hello_moto

^ someone's a bit insecure.

This story is among the best on this site, and you're seemingly the only one who thinks otherwise. If you want a crude, cheap story; look somewhere else.

Nevertheless, it is your opinion - which you are entitled to. However, don't feel like you have the right to insult someone much more talented than yourself.

Agreed
If you don't like something then don't read it.

10-05-2008, 07:12 PM	#166
lola78530521 Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: CALLI Posts: 47	i hope you make a suqel i really injoy your writing!! hugs and hopes... lola78530521

10-06-2008, 09:23 PM	#168
lola78530521 Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: CALLI Posts: 47	Yes i love your wrighting!!! One little sujestion... can you make a new charakter named... Rene' ? (my freinds name is this!) Can she be Eds,.... girl freind?? __________________ I like dice dares, xD....and im a FEMALE 21 YEAR OLD... I know of a great site that has virtual dice... http://www.bgfl.org/bgfl/custom/reso...s1/maths/dice/ I dont do slaves, or masters...I do TorD though...

09-06-2009, 04:13 AM	#169
Star Shadows Prodigy Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Uk Posts: 4,707 Blog Entries: 13	I loved it though am slightly glad my mam and dad left with my little brother about halfway through or they would have been more than a little suspicious. great writing cant wait to find alone time to read the sequal __________________ Do not ask me for to be your slave, your mistress, or to give you truths or dares. You're wasting your time. Informative threads: Anonymous S/M advice service Threads of note PM MEGET S/M ADVICE WORSHIPS RACHIE**

01-04-2011, 08:36 PM	#177
Daringguy18 Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 21	Wow I'll admit now i read the sequel first but ur writing was simply amazing Enoch that I could read the sequel then the prequel I am an older member but not as adventurous as most here and this story really cemented my love of getdare Thx shiny __________________ Likes~anal semi publics cum underwear and wedgies limits~no family not to public not messy

01-23-2011, 03:37 AM	#178
bulldog91 Baby Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 1	!!! dude, your freakin nasty...i mean, this would be a great story if there wasnt all that gay crap...no offense but its kinda obvious that u r like 45 years old with no life at all, sittin around writin bout little girls fuckin their brothers and dudes suckin eachothers dicks...i mean come on man, write about a chick in college or a hot waitress, not a 12 year old who fucks her bro and a 16 year old cum guzzler...this is complete bull shit. This is too far-fetched of a story

10-06-2008, 11:30 AM	#167
ShinyDemon getDare Sweetheart Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 277	Again, thank you for all the comments on this story. This genuinely was my first attempt at writing a story, and when I started I didn't know how the story would progress - I literally "made it up as I went along". Your feedback has been fantastic, and that is what kept the story going !

10-30-2009, 03:30 PM	#170
haxial Account Banned Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: South Hampshire, UK Posts: 50 Blog Entries: 1	I do have to point something out ShinyDemon... You said a while back that you have given no clue as to where the characters live, or even what country.. Yet if you read the first part, Steve is given £50 to get food... which pretty much, or even completely locates it to UK. To avoid isolation to a specific country, you could have said: ... was given a reasonable amount of money for food... That avoids the characters being isolated to UK.. Other than that, Brilliant story!!

10-31-2009, 02:46 PM	#172
haxial Account Banned Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: South Hampshire, UK Posts: 50 Blog Entries: 1	Well, I did post that quite late... and yes, it could have been other currencies aswell. I don't mean to keep on about this suject.. but when the "£" symbol is used, 80% of the time, it refers to GBP..

12-13-2009, 05:52 PM	#174
georgewillams Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 2	Thanks, what an amazing story! You really did please everyone with that story!

07-13-2010, 02:10 AM	#175
sexydare Account Banned Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: LINCOLNSHIRE Posts: 32	Great story, glad to see a continuation

10-26-2010, 07:43 PM	#176
Zero Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Southern US Posts: 8	Great story! I think you went just a little bit too far sometimes though.