Slow to edge or reach orgasm

[pluky]

I used to be able to get there in like 3 minutes but as of late, I feel like it takes forever no matter how horny I am, I don't understand exactly but I feel like I'm blocking it with body unintentionally.

Now the worse part is whenever someone else is involved, be it through text, call, or me filming myself and knowing I will be seen. In this case, it's so hard to relax and focus on my feelings, and it takes me so long.

It's frustrating especially when doing sessions with people who expect me to edge in 1 minutes, even without having put any effort into it (very early in the session), and it makes me feel dysfunctional.

Is everyone just able to do it that fast ? How can I learn to not have shy orgasms and be able to connect with my feelings faster when other people are involved ? I feel like it just slows down sessions and stands in the way of good fun

[Garry0993]

I think the main issue sounds like the time pressure is a thing.

So maybe you should just tell people that you would like to edge slowly. Usually for me when I am playing with my sub girls, it is normal that she take 5+ minutes to reach first edge with constant rubbing and stimulation.

It's okay to take longer to do things. There is nothing wrong with that. All you need to keep in mind is just do things in your own pace. And find someone who understand this to play with is also important.

[pluky]

It's more like 15 - 30 mn for me with a lot of efforts whenever someone is involved.

Once in a Discord call it took me 1 hour.

I want to fix this *sighs*

[Garry0993]

Originally Posted by pluky

It's more like 15 - 30 mn for me with a lot of efforts whenever someone is involved.

Once in a Discord call it took me 1 hour.

I want to fix this *sighs*

Oh didn't realize it's over discord call lol.

Well there is no fixing. I think the more you are stressed about why you aren't on edge yet, the longer it takes because it takes your mind off being horny and enjoy your body.

I would say just do more slow tease maybe? so you are more relaxed, and not have the edge as an end goal. Sometimes I don't even touch sub's private parts until 30 minutes into the play. Just to build up the anticipation and let their mind do the work for me.

[Merlin]

You are perfectly normal...
There is no standard time for getting to an orgasm it can be very different from person to person but also from day to day (Also can differ a lot with age or if a women gave birth)... and the more you stress about it the longer it will take, being nervous and distracted with thoughts about how do i look?, how do i sound?, am i doing it right? are most likely the reason you take longer when someone else is there or you need to send it.
Also the more you think about that it may take long the more you get stressed and the harder it gets.

This isn't that uncommon, especially at the beginning and if you are a person that tends to make themselves a lot stress trying to fulfil some idea how a sub has to be (or a Dom for that matter), how extreme it impacts varies a lot but the general idea is something i saw in almost every beginner i ever interacted with.

In general with a sub that has this problem i would go the way of trying to take any stress away from the idea of an orgasm. Stop focusing on the orgasm, if you orgasm you do but not make it the goal. Laying focus on other aspects and concentrating on that instead of the pressure to need to "perform".
We are all no machines but humans. You are submitting doesn't mean you need to fulfil some general standard of "production".
You are not misfunctioning , you are just not relaxed, talk with your Dom about adjustments to give you the possibility to relax more, maybe drop some aspects of being seen till you get more used to it, drop orgasm control in general especially for random people but maybe even for him for some time.
But mainly try to take the focus away from it, the more you stress about it, the worse it will get.

[sexyseniorctzn]

My friend: Don't be in a hurry to get your rocks off. Learn to take your time and how to hold yourself back. When you get down to the real thing, you don't want to cum quickly. You want to go as long as you can. We train ourselves to cum quickly by jerking off. That is a mistake. Take your time and enjoy it.