What turns you off in a slave or master?

[Kinsey]

For me this applies to people in general, but I am almost always turned off by showoffs. If I see/hear someone who brags a lot I don't give them too much time. I have noticed it happens online a lot as people can be whatever they want to be.

I know that the people can often be insecure and trying to compensate for that, by peacocking but still. It's my failing I suppose! Just wondering what your turn offs are not just character traits but things people do.

[masterdj]

the two most annoying/turn off things for me revolve around punishments

1. slaves that deliberately fail tasks so they can get more punishments
2. masters that set slaves up to fail, so they can give more/harsher punishments

both those things totally go against the whole trust issue as far as im concerned, and only serve to demonstrate a selfishness i just cbf dealing with

[vulcan]

Totally agree masterdj, both of those things show a lack of understanding of how the dynamics should work.

I have also had a number of experiences of so-called subs and slaves who are unbelievably manipulative and determined to get their own way all the time. If that is what they want then why call themselves subs? Of course they are not there just to be walked on, but they must expect some degree of control or what's the point?

Yes Kinsey, I agree with you too about the showoffs and the honesty issues. I do understand that we pretty much all massage our reality a little on the net; after all that is at least, partly why we enjoy it, but to pretend a completely false reality is just lying and a waste of all our time.

[Thepainvain]

Originally Posted by masterdj

the two most annoying/turn off things for me revolve around punishments

1. slaves that deliberately fail tasks so they can get more punishments
2. masters that set slaves up to fail, so they can give more/harsher punishments

both those things totally go against the whole trust issue as far as im concerned, and only serve to demonstrate a selfishness i just cbf dealing with

This.

Plus masters who don't even set task higher to make their slaves fail, but are just too *unthoughtful* (Yes, I wanted to use other words, but I'm too nice for those. :P) to have a basic concept of reality and give you task you simply cannot do, because they don't think. At all.

And people who write in certain dialects of the interwebz. That's been said a lot, but I really feel like talking to a garden hose on meth with such people.

[g-man]

For me, attitude, attitude, and attitude. I may identify as a sub, but I am certainly not afraid to speak my mind if someones behavior isn't up to par. And that includes people who I would also consider as my domme at the time.

I don't mind 'raising the standard' in tasks, though it does depend on the task in question. Thats because I will always give it my best efforts, and providing I receive the proper respect / praise for that, I'm more than happy. However, if that was a setup for punishment. Then yes, I'd agree... said person would no longer be my domme.

Another huge turn off for me is poor use of language. I can accept and tolerate things like typo's, spelling mistakes and the like. But when you can't clearly convey or communicate your thoughts in writing, I start to doubt ones ability to clearly, concisely communicate instructions for tasks / scenes.

There probably are others (and pet peeves), but those are the main ones that come to mind right now!

G-man

[DancingBear]

A "master" who thinks that they are your master even if you never agreed to it.

[Kinsey]

I have to say I agree with all the points raised. I also really do not like it when someone insists that they know your mind after talking to you for 2 minutes!

I think people are complex and have many layers that cannot be revealed so easily. Although many people are easy to read they still have aspects that cannot be identified so fast.

It happens here quite a bit and I find it annoying but amusing, I do believe we have a choice when it comes to talking about ourselves. I tell what I am comfortable with and withold the bits I am not comfortable with, but not lying of course. But if people suddenly assume they know me inside out it makes me roll my eyes!

[iciclegirl88]

Originally Posted by DancingBear

A "master" who thinks that they are your master even if you never agreed to it.

^^ that.

And people (in general) who don't show any respect to others, or assume respect is there even though they haven't earned it.

People who can't refrain from using text speak.
People who are too pushy.
People (subs) who submit too easily.

People who don't legitimately know the difference between: there, their, they're; to, too; your, you're; and, where, wear. (pet peeve)
People who spell 'definitely' as 'definately'. Reminds me of something on theoatmeal which says: 'definitely' definitely doesn't have an 'a' in it. if you spell 'deinitely' with an 'a' in it, then you are definitely an A-hole. (pet peeve)

[Rose_Angel]

While I have no interest in being a Master or Dom, it annoys me when slaves/subs request punishments, and ask people to include things listed directly on their likes...

Not much of a punishment if you like it, right?

[samc]

Oh there are soo many things I could mention :P A couple of my big pet peeves have already been mentioned but I would like to add another few.

Im just going to mention the big one for me: subs who want a long term relationship, but aren't willing to communicate with you and get to know you. It really winds me up when someone expects to dive straight into tasks cold, with me having no knowledge of what makes them tick, as such there is no connection that is so important, certainly for me and alot of other people in long term bdsm relationships. This probably works the other way aswell I would guess.

Just my two cents...

[Star Shadows]

There are too many to list, as much as I very much identify as a submissive I have/ was trained with VERY high standards and no reservation about speaking my mind, so there are lots of things in "masters" that I see on the forums that turn me off or bug the hell out of me.

1) Arrogance and disrespect; just because you're the top in the relationship does not give you a divine right to be a tosser to everyone you come across.

2) Complete disregard for

A) The welfare of your submissive/ slave [ some of the things ive heard people ordered to do would make even the most hardcore submissive turn in their grave]

B) The English Language. If U spk 2 mi lyk dis... the fact it takes me so long to translate into real English is an instant turn off. Not only is it horrific and a mark of lacking intellect but it gives me a headache.
[Ironically I have a real life friend that speaks like that over facebook/ IM.. I refuse to speak to her online unless I have to and when I do I will correct what she said into real English before replying to her until she gets the hint or gives up on it.]

3) Dominants who post (or even worse get their submissive to post) on the forums asking for tasks or punishments because they are too lazy or un-inventive to think of their own. If you don't want to put in the time or effort then neither would I.

The list goes on, as I said I am picky with high standards, I am fortunate to have found the Dom I have because I dare say I'd be too picky to manage to find another. But yea.

My 3p for you.

[The Game Master]

I think I hate lying, and as those above have said those who purposely try to screw up or fail things to get on their dom's nerves. Vice versa with the master's who try to set impossible tasks as well.

I have others but those are probably the biggest ones.

[DancingBear]

Masters who want picture proof of everything solely for the purpose of jerking off to them.

[Star Shadows]

Originally Posted by DancingBear

Masters who want picture proof of everything solely for the purpose of jerking off to them.

THIS!!! very much so!

[masterdj]

Originally Posted by Star Shadows

3) Dominants who post(or even worse get their submissive to post) on the forums asking for tasks or punishments because they are too lazy or un-inventive to think of their own.

yea. that one always amazes and amuses me