SM Advice.

[Aivey]

My dom and I have an incredibly relaxed relationship- we do not play often and I don't have many rules. We also tease and joke around at each other a lot (in a way some would see disrespectful) but we give as good as we get. Someone told me that out relationship was not real because of this and it is starting to put doubts into my mind about it. I love my dom a lot but now im confused! Someone help!

I do realise it's not my job to speak here, but I really wanted to add that this is exactly what my relationship with my Dom is like, and that is what I love most about my relationship.

My Dom is a best friend, a confidant, a mentor, and my Master, and that is what makes him perfectly wonderful. There is no reason why you should believe what other people have told you, as they themselves have no "rules" or "regulations" to base bdsm off of. Putting a definition onto bdsm would be like forcing everyone who's religious into one category. Not only is it extremely close-minded to state whether a relationship is right or wrong, it also defeats the whole point of even engaging in any relationship at all for relationships are all about personal balance. Just like how there's no two couples out there with the same dynamic, there's no reason why it shouldnt apply to a bdsm relationship, so just like 'vanilla' relationships, no two dom/sub couples will have the same dynamic within it.

If you really do feel as if you'd like to be pushed harder, you, as a sub, should bring it up with your Dom, and you both could find a new balance. However, think about whether or not you really want to be pushed harder before asking of it. Don't base your own decisions purely off of a close minded comment on how your relationship isn't "real".