Fiction: Civilization - Page 3

Amazing Ice · 11-13-2010, 01:52 PM

NOTE - CHAPTER 9 WAS ALSO RELEASED TODAY! LOOK AT THE PREVIOUS PAGE FOR IT!

BOOK 2 - THE FRIEND

CHAPTER 10 - Exodus

“So… why don’t we just leave?” Alexis asked.
“We have those collards around our neck; they’ll kill us if our masters choose. They’ll probably do so once they find out we left.” I said.
“Damn. They can kill us? Those bastards. How can they treat a fellow human being like this! They could have just as easily been selected to be our slaves, and then WE wouldn’t be torching THEM.”
“Are you sure about that? Think about it, there has to be something they tell them to make them do this. Everyone does it.”
“I dunno.”
I stared at the ceiling. The same one I looked at many times while being tortured by Mike and Luke. “Think we’ll ever get out of here?” I asked.
“Hope so. I can’t image spending the rest of my fucking life here.”
“Neither can I. This isn’t exactly what I had in mind.” I said.
“Have you had anything to eat today?” Alexis said.
“Nope, have you?”
“No… guess they ‘forgot’ to feed us.”Alexis said.
“It’s like we’re their property.”
“We ARE their property.” Alexis proclaimed.

I paused. I couldn’t admit that I was someone ells’ property now. It was bullshit. How could one human own another? That’s impossible, it goes against nature. But it happened. I wondered what I did wrong, how they selected us to be the slaves.

It was then that I looked over and saw a backpack on the floor. “Impossible” I said. I went over, and unzipped it. As it opened, I saw the key to my escape, the glory of freedom, the will of survival.

It was the key to our collars.

There, in my hand, was the key to my freedom. What I had waited for since what felt like years. As I unlocked the electric collar that separated me and freedom, I then handed the key over to Alexis. When she unlocked herself, we were officially free. We may have been naked, but we were free. “Fuck yes. Let’s get out of here Alexis,” I quickly said. I quickly opened the apartment door, and slit downstairs, and out the front door. We kept an eye out in case our masters came back. Our nude bodies looked nice in the dark.

We obviously couldn’t just walk down the street naked. It may have been legal, but it would attract attention, which is exactly what we didn’t want. We saw a park across the street, and ran into it. At least inside we would be unnoticeable in the dark. We kept running through the park, feeling everything beneath our feet as we were barefoot. I knew we had to get out of the city, but how?

When we reached the other end of the park, I noticed a clothing shop across the street. Closed, but were still people inside. Hoping the door was still open, I slid over to it. As I opened it, I slid inside, with Alexis waiting outside. The workers didn’t notice me. I quickly grabbed two jeans, and two tank tops, and bolted out of there before I lost my cover.

Outside Alexis and I quickly got dressed in the clothes I stole. I didn’t get underwear, but I was just glad to have anything. And here we were.
After this, we kept walking until we got on a bus, which took us to a far side of town. We didn’t have a home, so we were on the streets, but at least we had each other, which was enough to get us out of our previous problem. It will be enough to get us out of this. It’s been two weeks now, and I know that together we will be able to accomplish anything. We recently got jobs at a restraint serving as waiters, and our first shift is very soon. I must go, I think I made my point across of how friendship is unstoppable, and can help you survive any situation, even those which seem unbearable.

THE END!

--------------------------

I ended up combining the final chapter with this one, they were both just so short. That's why there's such a mood change. Regardless, that's that, no more 3rd book. This is what I have. If I happen to get inspiration for another book, I'll write it, but until then this story is done. I'll be working on another story, though, expect it sometime in the next week. And again, sorry for any inconvenience.

Also, I have no clue what you guys will think of this ending, so please reply so I know if all my hard work was worth it or not.

Beautiful Mountanis · 11-13-2010, 09:11 PM

The ending wasn't the greatest. Sorry.

Amazing Ice · 11-14-2010, 06:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beautiful Mountanis

The ending wasn't the greatest. Sorry.

I know. Also, I just realized I used roman numerals for the book numbers though book 1, but not book 2. Usually I'm good with that formatting stuff...

So yeah, if nobody ells replies, this thread will unfortunately die

Just a little feedback on what you liked and didn't like, please, so I can fix it for my next story. Again, this was the LAST chapter.

zabuza · 11-14-2010, 06:26 AM

i liked it but in the last post the story moved a little to fast if you had gone into detail like you did in the begining it would have been better

Cookie Dough · 11-14-2010, 08:25 AM

This was amazing plot!! It seemed a little rushed but over all a good story. Thank you for finishing it I really appreciate it.

kmacroxs · 11-14-2010, 03:24 PM

like how the masters 'accidentally' leave behind the key to the girls' freedom

dislike how fast the story is going

11-13-2010, 01:52 PM	#31
Amazing Ice Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 90	NOTE - CHAPTER 9 WAS ALSO RELEASED TODAY! LOOK AT THE PREVIOUS PAGE FOR IT! BOOK 2 - THE FRIEND CHAPTER 10 - Exodus “So… why don’t we just leave?” Alexis asked. “We have those collards around our neck; they’ll kill us if our masters choose. They’ll probably do so once they find out we left.” I said. “Damn. They can kill us? Those bastards. How can they treat a fellow human being like this! They could have just as easily been selected to be our slaves, and then WE wouldn’t be torching THEM.” “Are you sure about that? Think about it, there has to be something they tell them to make them do this. Everyone does it.” “I dunno.” I stared at the ceiling. The same one I looked at many times while being tortured by Mike and Luke. “Think we’ll ever get out of here?” I asked. “Hope so. I can’t image spending the rest of my fucking life here.” “Neither can I. This isn’t exactly what I had in mind.” I said. “Have you had anything to eat today?” Alexis said. “Nope, have you?” “No… guess they ‘forgot’ to feed us.”Alexis said. “It’s like we’re their property.” “We ARE their property.” Alexis proclaimed. I paused. I couldn’t admit that I was someone ells’ property now. It was bullshit. How could one human own another? That’s impossible, it goes against nature. But it happened. I wondered what I did wrong, how they selected us to be the slaves. It was then that I looked over and saw a backpack on the floor. “Impossible” I said. I went over, and unzipped it. As it opened, I saw the key to my escape, the glory of freedom, the will of survival. It was the key to our collars. There, in my hand, was the key to my freedom. What I had waited for since what felt like years. As I unlocked the electric collar that separated me and freedom, I then handed the key over to Alexis. When she unlocked herself, we were officially free. We may have been naked, but we were free. “Fuck yes. Let’s get out of here Alexis,” I quickly said. I quickly opened the apartment door, and slit downstairs, and out the front door. We kept an eye out in case our masters came back. Our nude bodies looked nice in the dark. We obviously couldn’t just walk down the street naked. It may have been legal, but it would attract attention, which is exactly what we didn’t want. We saw a park across the street, and ran into it. At least inside we would be unnoticeable in the dark. We kept running through the park, feeling everything beneath our feet as we were barefoot. I knew we had to get out of the city, but how? When we reached the other end of the park, I noticed a clothing shop across the street. Closed, but were still people inside. Hoping the door was still open, I slid over to it. As I opened it, I slid inside, with Alexis waiting outside. The workers didn’t notice me. I quickly grabbed two jeans, and two tank tops, and bolted out of there before I lost my cover. Outside Alexis and I quickly got dressed in the clothes I stole. I didn’t get underwear, but I was just glad to have anything. And here we were. After this, we kept walking until we got on a bus, which took us to a far side of town. We didn’t have a home, so we were on the streets, but at least we had each other, which was enough to get us out of our previous problem. It will be enough to get us out of this. It’s been two weeks now, and I know that together we will be able to accomplish anything. We recently got jobs at a restraint serving as waiters, and our first shift is very soon. I must go, I think I made my point across of how friendship is unstoppable, and can help you survive any situation, even those which seem unbearable. THE END! -------------------------- I ended up combining the final chapter with this one, they were both just so short. That's why there's such a mood change. Regardless, that's that, no more 3rd book. This is what I have. If I happen to get inspiration for another book, I'll write it, but until then this story is done. I'll be working on another story, though, expect it sometime in the next week. And again, sorry for any inconvenience. Also, I have no clue what you guys will think of this ending, so please reply so I know if all my hard work was worth it or not. Last edited by Amazing Ice; 11-14-2010 at 06:03 AM.

11-13-2010, 09:11 PM	#32
Beautiful Mountanis Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 19	The ending wasn't the greatest. Sorry. __________________ 15 / F / SWITCH I'm currently doing interesting stuff with my sister, check out our thread! It should be close to the top of the TorD forum. You can dare one of us there!

11-14-2010, 06:26 AM	#34
zabuza getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: why do u want to know Posts: 300	i liked it but in the last post the story moved a little to fast if you had gone into detail like you did in the begining it would have been better __________________ likes:x dressing,minor anal,bdsm,slight pain, minor public limits: major public,major pain,pictures, videos,my diabetes pm me if you want dares or pm me dares if you want

11-14-2010, 03:24 PM	#36
kmacroxs Distinguished Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: USA Posts: 625	like how the masters 'accidentally' leave behind the key to the girls' freedom dislike how fast the story is going __________________ "I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty, or give me death" - Patrick Henry - March 23, 1775 Justin Bieber sucks (not what I really wanted to say). Spoiler: Justin Bieber's voice -> my ears get raped Spoiler: me: "make it stop, make it stop, please make it stop"

11-14-2010, 08:25 AM	#35
Cookie Dough Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Posts: 24	This was amazing plot!! It seemed a little rushed but over all a good story. Thank you for finishing it I really appreciate it.