Edging and Denial Advice.

[Vulpina]

Lately I've been playing with edging and orgasm denial but I've run into some trouble.

After a few edges I can't hold back from the edge anymore and end up orgasming. Am I doing it too fast? Or do I lack the willpower? Does anyone have any advice to hold myself back more often?

My second problem is If I do manage to hold back for a few days I can also orgasm hands free so eventually it just happens when I get horny enough. How do I stop that and how do I ruin my orgasms like that if they do happen? Is it even possible?

Um finally what do you do about all the wetness in everyday life.

I know some things take practice but I'm finding myself frustrated in more ways than one!

Thanks.

[herpderp42]

Originally Posted by Vulpina

Lately I've been playing with edging and orgasm denial but I've run into some trouble.

After a few edges I can't hold back from the edge anymore and end up orgasming. Am I doing it too fast? Or do I lack the willpower? Does anyone have any advice to hold myself back more often?

My second problem is If I do manage to hold back for a few days I can also orgasm hands free so eventually it just happens when I get horny enough. How do I stop that and how do I ruin my orgasms like that if they do happen? Is it even possible?

Um finally what do you do about all the wetness in everyday life.

I know some things take practice but I'm finding myself frustrated in more ways than one!

Thanks.

Okay, let me start with oen of the later questions:
If you go to the edge and accidentally go too far, you can still 'simply' stop stimulation. This normally leads naturally to a ruined orgasm; or if you are lucky it wasn't too late after all and you avoid the orgasm altogether.
I did say simply because the action required is rather simple, but the necessary willpower required can be the higher hurdle.

And I do suspect that the problem of you 'end up orgasming' is related to this willpower. I suppose going slower and maybe less focusing on the edge but on teasing BEFORE getting to the edge could help?
I do have some kind of saying: "Self-control is often easier if you take the self out of it": maybe you can participate on here in some form of threads or similar which helps make you feel accountable for your edging? It can be as simple as just finding somebody you don't want to disappoint.

Next about the hand-free orgasms: hands-free doesn't mean stimulation free, right? So shouldn't ruin an orgams work in the same way; just stop the stimulation? It is probably a good idea to avoid handfree stimualtion because edging with your fingers gives you much more subtle control and allows to easier adjust the strength/ speed/ intensitiy and also stop easier.

Last about the wetness: Embrace it!
I can't help with that too much, the people I played with always handled thos eissues themselfes. But thicker panties and maybe not choosing your favourite ones if you are extra leaky could help lessen the impact. Something like a sanitary towel (dunno if that term is correct, I had to use some internet-translation) sounds helppful aswell.

I hope you keep enjoying your journey of horniness and denial.

[Vulpina]

Originally Posted by herpderp42

Okay, let me start with oen of the later questions:
If you go to the edge and accidentally go too far, you can still 'simply' stop stimulation. This normally leads naturally to a ruined orgasm; or if you are lucky it wasn't too late after all and you avoid the orgasm altogether.
I did say simply because the action required is rather simple, but the necessary willpower required can be the higher hurdle.

And I do suspect that the problem of you 'end up orgasming' is related to this willpower. I suppose going slower and maybe less focusing on the edge but on teasing BEFORE getting to the edge could help?
I do have some kind of saying: "Self-control is often easier if you take the self out of it": maybe you can participate on here in some form of threads or similar which helps make you feel accountable for your edging? It can be as simple as just finding somebody you don't want to disappoint.

Next about the hand-free orgasms: hands-free doesn't mean stimulation free, right? So shouldn't ruin an orgams work in the same way; just stop the stimulation? It is probably a good idea to avoid handfree stimualtion because edging with your fingers gives you much more subtle control and allows to easier adjust the strength/ speed/ intensitiy and also stop easier.

Last about the wetness: Embrace it!
I can't help with that too much, the people I played with always handled thos eissues themselfes. But thicker panties and maybe not choosing your favourite ones if you are extra leaky could help lessen the impact. Something like a sanitary towel (dunno if that term is correct, I had to use some internet-translation) sounds helppful aswell.

I hope you keep enjoying your journey of horniness and denial.

Hi herpderp42, thank you for your very informative reply, I appreciate it. Also cute bear pic.

Firstly, that makes sense, I think I need to practice realizing when I'm close to orgasm and stopping. Sometimes it's too easy for me to keep going trying to reach that ultimate edge and I go over but stopping seems like a frustrating way to deal with that... This will take some experimentation.

Your second point is also true, I suspect I have very low will power for this kinda thing. That also makes sense, I do end up going faster after the first edge and then I go feral... I will look into teasing more too. It will help me also understand when I'm close and could be interesting to stop before I actually edge. This is something I hadn't thought about.

About self-control yeah, it is so much easier if there's something/someone besides myself to potentially let down. That's another valid point. I have seen some of those threads here and they are wild! As for someone, I'm not quite ready for that yet but another thing to keep in mind.

So about the hands free orgasms, that's true. While I don't touch myself in anyway my mind can make me orgasm just with all the stimulating thoughts and how horny I already am. But I know it's possible to redirect your thoughts, painfully. The fingers suggestion is another good idea, with a vibrator it's harder to predict and easy to go over. Especially for me!

Ah thanks for that last part too, I asked this mainly because I've had issues when I leak too much and it ends up showing sometimes on what I'm wearing which I don't really want out in public! But you've made me think of period panties which would be a lot nicer than pads.

Thank you, and thanks for all the ideas and wisdom. I will try not to get too frustrated!

[Dungeonmaster]

Hi Vulpina,

Two things to start with. I agree with Herp on all points mentioned and there is no general recipe to do it or to handle it.

It all starts with the mind. As you might know, apparently from some orgasms lately, the mind is very strong. The willpower and the control comes from your mind. It can force you over, but it can also hold you back. The latter needs training. Someone to hold you accountable helps a lot as well, obviously.
But in the end, this comes all down to trying it again and going a bit further than the last time.
An important part is to not overdo it. There is no need to force yourself into weels or months right at the beginning. Do what you can handle and try to slowly push the boundries. If you try to do too much you only end up frustrated and not in the good way.

What can help you is to occasionally slip in an orgasm. This might sound stupid at first, but this lone orgasm helps you to deal with the frustration in the moment. In the long run however, you will soon realize that this lone orgasm actually caused more frustration than relief. Going right back into denial after a single orgasm is usually worse than not cumming at all.
This helps you in two ways even, as it can only condition your mind a bit thinking that orgasms aren't the ultimate relief you need every time.

For the edging part, again don't overdo it. Keep it to one or two a day if you are not good at controlling them. Increase slowly. The other time, just tease yourself, don't go near the edge. You can set goals for minutes of teasing and increase them etc.

Regarding the wetness: Deal with it
And don't you dare dripping onto the floor here

Most important: Don't focus on what others are doing. Everyone is different. What works for one, might not work for you. Go your own way

[Vulpina]

Originally Posted by Dungeonmaster

Hi Vulpina,

Two things to start with. I agree with Herp on all points mentioned and there is no general recipe to do it or to handle it.

It all starts with the mind. As you might know, apparently from some orgasms lately, the mind is very strong. The willpower and the control comes from your mind. It can force you over, but it can also hold you back. The latter needs training. Someone to hold you accountable helps a lot as well, obviously.
But in the end, this comes all down to trying it again and going a bit further than the last time.
An important part is to not overdo it. There is no need to force yourself into weels or months right at the beginning. Do what you can handle and try to slowly push the boundries. If you try to do too much you only end up frustrated and not in the good way.

What can help you is to occasionally slip in an orgasm. This might sound stupid at first, but this lone orgasm helps you to deal with the frustration in the moment. In the long run however, you will soon realize that this lone orgasm actually caused more frustration than relief. Going right back into denial after a single orgasm is usually worse than not cumming at all.
This helps you in two ways even, as it can only condition your mind a bit thinking that orgasms aren't the ultimate relief you need every time.

For the edging part, again don't overdo it. Keep it to one or two a day if you are not good at controlling them. Increase slowly. The other time, just tease yourself, don't go near the edge. You can set goals for minutes of teasing and increase them etc.

Regarding the wetness: Deal with it
And don't you dare dripping onto the floor here

Most important: Don't focus on what others are doing. Everyone is different. What works for one, might not work for you. Go your own way

Hi Dungeon Master. Do you own your own dungeon?

That's good to know, thanks for your input there.

I didn't realize my mind had so much to do with it but it makes sense. If I'm actively not wanting to orgasm it should be easier. And I think that's how I start off not wanting to but then I give in. I can see a lot more experimentation is in order.

Also that is good advice, I don't want to set myself unrealistic goals. To start with I just want to try teasing and edging myself slowly and wanting to do that more than having an orgasm. Once I have better control over myself I will look at starting with days of denial, then maybe more.

That sounds interesting. I know when I orgasm the fun stops and I've lost all my hard work but it's hard to think of that in the heat of the moment. I want to enjoy edging and teasing myself more than orgasming. So another thing to think on could very well be how disappointed I am when I cum.

Once or twice a day is something I hadn't thought of, I'm embarrassingly getting turned on thinking of all the possibilities here. Teasing myself in between is so hot. I'm going to have to run some very scientific experiments on all these things.

Towels is all I can say. Lots of towels.

Thank you and I will indeed go my own weird way.

[Dungeonmaster]

Come and find out. Bring cookies

What you say is very true. And remember, people very often want what they can't have. This applies here as well.

Don't forget to document all these experiments for future scientists
And stay hydrated

[Vulpina]

Originally Posted by Dungeonmaster

Come and find out. Bring cookies

What you say is very true. And remember, people very often want what they can't have. This applies here as well.

Don't forget to document all these experiments for future scientists
And stay hydrated

Cookies aren't safe in my hands.

That's very true too.

Yes it looks like a good reason to try out the blog feature here. Thank you.

[herpderp42]

I absolutely agree that the threads on here can be very wild. And I didn't really mean to join one of those. But you can always create one for your own needs.
How about a simple thread or blogposts where you just share your experiences in semi-frequent reports? This will already gather a few readers and give you that 'accountability'-feeling.

[Vulpina]

Originally Posted by herpderp42

I absolutely agree that the threads on here can be very wild. And I didn't really mean to join one of those. But you can always create one for your own needs.
How about a simple thread or blogposts where you just share your experiences in semi-frequent reports? This will already gather a few readers and give you that 'accountability'-feeling.

I'm not sure if I feel up to committing to a thread yet. I'm just going to experiment until I feel more confident with edging and controlling myself.

But I think sharing my progress via blog posts is a good way to share things without too much pressure. It gives me more flexibility and a bit of accountability. I've been experimenting a bit today so I may just do that.

[Geo T]

That's an excellent question, with excellent answers to which I have nothing to add.

I'll just stress out the fact that, from my experience, it's way easier to commit yourself to someone, a Dominant in this case.
- They will check on your progress and encourage you.
- They will punish you if you fail, which will be an incentive to perform better >:]
- You'll be proud of yourself to be able to please them. And they should reward you with some orgasm that you will enjoy like no other

Have fun. I'm pretty sure you'll make progress fast now.

PS: a good way to cut a starting orgasm is to inflict yourself some sharp pain on a very sensitive part. Unless you're a "pain slut" of course >:]

[Vulpina]

Originally Posted by Geo T

That's an excellent question, with excellent answers to which I have nothing to add.

I'll just stress out the fact that, from my experience, it's way easier to commit yourself to someone, a Dominant in this case.
- They will check on your progress and encourage you.
- They will punish you if you fail, which will be an incentive to perform better >:]
- You'll be proud of yourself to be able to please them. And they should reward you with some orgasm that you will enjoy like no other

Have fun. I'm pretty sure you'll make progress fast now.

PS: a good way to cut a starting orgasm is to inflict yourself some sharp pain on a very sensitive part. Unless you're a "pain slut" of course >:]

Thank you.

I think that could be true I know I'm just not ready for that responsibility yet. But something to keep in mind.

Thank you and I hope so.

Hm I'll have to keep that in mind. I might experiment with that a bit and see what happens. Thank you for your advice!

[Geo T]

Finding a partner who suits you ain't easy! A Dom that will satisfy your most secret desires even less I'd say. Goes bothways of course! xD

It's like cantaloupe: you have to try several to find the good one. ooops...

On GD there are several threads that will help you find the D you can submit to for various amount of time, 5 minutes, one hour or up to one week in the Female slave market. Those are the most relevant examples to me, use the search function with "slave" as a keyword to find more.

I wouldn't advise the shorter periods as they seem unfit for finding some longer term partnership and you might jump in something more extreme than what you're looking for. Even if you can opt out anytime.

Cantaloupes... xD

[Vulpina]

Originally Posted by Geo T

Finding a partner who suits you ain't easy! A Dom that will satisfy your most secret desires even less I'd say. Goes bothways of course! xD

It's like cantaloupe: you have to try several to find the good one. ooops...

On GD there are several threads that will help you find the D you can submit to for various amount of time, 5 minutes, one hour or up to one week in the Female slave market. Those are the most relevant examples to me, use the search function with "slave" as a keyword to find more.

I wouldn't advise the shorter periods as they seem unfit for finding some longer term partnership and you might jump in something more extreme than what you're looking for. Even if you can opt out anytime.

Cantaloupes... xD

For sure, finding someone you gel with is hard.

Haha true, I do love some good melons.

That you for finding all those threads for me, it's something I might think about although I think I'd like to get to know that kind of person better before doing anything or committing.

Thanks again for your advice. I think I'll wait a bit till I feel ready for something, but it's really nice of you to show me what's out there. Thank you.

Watermelons.