Fiction: ★ Charlotte's School Trip - Page 11

BettyBoop · 06-04-2009, 02:07 PM

Chapter 17
I was closer now, to the top, so I tried to steady my breathing and concentrate. I gripped a ledge and pulled up once more, I heard a soft tearing noise and looked to see my V necked jumper’s thin material had torn on the rocks, making it a lot more V necked than it needed to be. I wanted to scream at whoever had made me so unlucky but I had a task.
I heard the boys’ chuckle below me but I was sure they couldn’t have seen me turn my jumper into a cardigan. If they had I decided I didn’t want to know, I tried to find spaces to steady my legs.
The sun glinted in my eyes once more making my head throb; I closed my eyes to attempt to clear my head, when I felt a finger slip through my surprisingly wet pussy lips. My eyes shot open and I flung my leg out kicking the air, I shivered involuntarily.
I took a deep breath and tried once more to climb up, though the sun hitting my eyes was making my head spin.
The boys had returned to spanking me harder and harder as if it was a competition, no wonder Sasha had escaped I thought.
I finally reached the top and I hauled myself over the edge before getting a head rush and flying face forward onto the dusty ground.
I stood and brushed myself off before finally yanking off the stupid harness and throwing it to the floor. I felt the sun on my back and I turned just in time to see one of the stupid boys climbing up, grinning right at me.
I turned to escape but he grabbed at my waist, I turned and shoved him down, I had the upper hand now seeing as I was on stable ground. Well, I did until his friend made it up.
I turned scanning my surroundings for Rose but she was long gone. I pulled the two separate halves of my now cardigan together and tried to look brave.
‘Listen, you guys need to grow up and stop being idiots’ I said to them, no longer afraid Stacey would hear, I doubted she even cared.
‘We were just having some fun’ the cocky one said stepping toward me.
I turned to walk away when I saw the path leading past the trees, I put my head high and tried to walk like I knew where I was going and that I wasn’t going to take any crap. Unfortunately I tripped over a rogue log, winding myself in the process. I lay over the log my butt sticking in the air. I didn’t realise until it was too late when the boys easily pulled off my cotton skirt that had no zipper or belt. I jumped up covering my privates the best I could still try to hold my top together.
‘Now, you give that back’ I said putting on a stern face.
They must have seen right through me because they laughed and ran off down the path that led down a bumpy downhill slope into the trees. My top was still connected by about two centimetres at the bottom and was long enough to cover half my ass and my pussy. I looked around and decided the safety of the trees was my only hope.
I could hear the boys laughing somewhere in the distance but they got quieter and quieter until I could hear them no longer.
I sighed to myself and thought this was one hell of a crazy camp.
I’d been wandering through the forest when I’d noticed the trees had got thicker and I couldn’t see what was left of the sunlight too well. I reached down, to get my phone when I realised I had no pocket, and either way I’d left it in my room.
A cold breeze ran through the trees, hitting my bare skin and making me shiver.
My fingers started to ache from clinging to my top so hard, I stretched my arms out and flexed my finger. My top blew open and my hair went wild in the wind. I tried to imagine how I’d look wandering half naked in the woods with wild hair. I heard noise behind me, sounds of footsteps and laughter. I jumped behind a large tree and hit in the bushes beneath it.
A group of loud teenage boys walked past, smoking what smelled like weed and drinking from glass bottles.
“That camp is that way” One of them said, his voice slurred.
I snuck my head out to see where he was pointing to; I leant back to my hiding place and stumbled, making a loud rustling noise. I froze as I heard them muttering and coming closer.
“Don’t bother it’s probably just some animal, we have places to go Danny!” One shouted and the footsteps retreated.
I swiftly jumped from my hiding place and legged it in the direction the boy had earlier pointed. The trees began to thin and I noticed that darkness had begun to encase the trees. When I got to the end of the trees, I slowed as I came out onto sand, it was almost pitch black, I could see the water to my right, the moon reflecting off it was eerie and made me feel a little worried.
I felt a drop of water hit my forehead and soon it was tipping it down with rain, brilliant, I thought to myself.
I turned away from the water in the direction I though the camp was, I found a path and followed it. The rain was oddly warm, but it didn’t stop it from making my thin blue jumper see through as it clung to my skin, outlining my body shape and making me very wary.
I carried on, following the path, trudging over the wet ground, I didn’t even care it was raining anymore, I just wanted to sleep.
I slipped on a muddy patch and yelled out. I lay on the floor for a while, I didn’t want to get up, I couldn’t find the strength but I knew I had to. I pulled my arms forward and began lifting my head up until I saw a pair of black hiking boots right in front of me. I was suddenly very aware of my lack of clothing. I looked up through my soaking hair, at this tall person framed by the moonlight. I squinted through the downpour of rain on my face and saw..

Lolly · 06-04-2009, 02:32 PM

-Insert retard response-
Good story! Please write more
-End of retard response-

-My response-
Very interesting. I bet you that Charlotte is gonna get stripped nude. xD Orrr that mysterious person is here to help her. :O I shall be waiting for the next segment.
-End of response-

nich · 06-04-2009, 08:22 PM

when is the next chapter coming out? this is really good

hot24guy · 06-05-2009, 04:14 AM

Betty an amazing story. keep up the good work.

Nelson · 06-05-2009, 06:22 AM

I really enjoyed Chapter 16. It was amazing to think of her clinging to the rock while the guys were taking advantage of her!!

Please continue with your amazing story.

BettyBoop · 06-05-2009, 08:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nich

when is the next chapter coming out? this is really good

I just wrote two chapters in one day and I have school work to do so I wasn't even going to do that.

overlord · 06-05-2009, 09:40 AM

lol nice prioritising

WhiteWingDemon · 06-05-2009, 06:41 PM

I like this so far.
For one, it's one of the few realistic, and a few of the other occurrences, but those are of small matter] stories out there, and two it's actually well written. I would give it an A.

Although I do have one grief, and that is more with the past two chapters. Perhaps it's more of a personal opinion, but the way the boys acted completely irritates me. Not only is it pretty much sexual harassment regardless of how she dresses, and it's just ugh. I would have them shot on the spot, and if it was someone I cared about, worse.

Though I will say I like Lucas and how for the most part he is a nice guy. I would like to see him be a bit nicer, for example what he did at the restaurant didn't seem to nice and all. Maybe you could introduce another guy, that competes with Lucas. He discovers Charlotte's dare addiction and acts much like Lukas, causing trouble for her, but doesn't do it for his own advantage at all (I.E. not perverted or doesn't try to expose Charlotte in front of him), and this attracts Charlotte to him. I don't know, just an idea.

quidproquo · 06-06-2009, 10:36 AM

I agree with the other members who dislike the two boys in the two recent chapters. It was not really entertaining to read about them, because they make me angry, and it's becoming a mature topic (sexual assault).

I agree that it would be better to have some nicer, more compassionate guys in the story instead of them. I do like the character of Lucas, he seems nice enough but not so nice that he's not believable. I would put more of him in and develop the relationship between him and Charlotte a little more.

It might be a nice twist to add a more dominant female to the story who gets back at the two younger boys.

Overall, very good though.

BettyBoop · 06-06-2009, 02:50 PM

Thank you all for the comments, those good and those constructive criticism.
I would be really grateful if someone could send me some other ideas for while they are at the camp?
PM if you do.
Thanks again.

nich · 06-10-2009, 02:14 PM

was this story abandoned?

lokelake · 06-10-2009, 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nich

was this story abandoned?

Just be patient.

If Betty did abandoned the story, I am sure she will announce it.

I doubt she abandoned it though, because she said she is busy with school.

BettyBoop · 06-11-2009, 12:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nich

was this story abandoned?

I wrote the last post like five bloody days ago. I have school, I'm in the middle of my GCSEs. Seriously. that's annoying.

fire · 06-11-2009, 12:50 PM

I'm sure betty is just stressed out due to exams and she has a right to be annoyed as she only posted a few days ago and could probably do without users pressuring her for more chapters.
Just my opinion didn't mean to poke my nose in.

nich · 06-11-2009, 01:07 PM

I apologize for pressuring you, I didn't know you were under stress, and the other forums I belong to usually post full stories. Just not used to the chapters.

06-04-2009, 02:07 PM	#151
BettyBoop Angel of Dare Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: England. Posts: 8,249 Blog Entries: 105	Chapter 17 I was closer now, to the top, so I tried to steady my breathing and concentrate. I gripped a ledge and pulled up once more, I heard a soft tearing noise and looked to see my V necked jumper’s thin material had torn on the rocks, making it a lot more V necked than it needed to be. I wanted to scream at whoever had made me so unlucky but I had a task. I heard the boys’ chuckle below me but I was sure they couldn’t have seen me turn my jumper into a cardigan. If they had I decided I didn’t want to know, I tried to find spaces to steady my legs. The sun glinted in my eyes once more making my head throb; I closed my eyes to attempt to clear my head, when I felt a finger slip through my surprisingly wet pussy lips. My eyes shot open and I flung my leg out kicking the air, I shivered involuntarily. I took a deep breath and tried once more to climb up, though the sun hitting my eyes was making my head spin. The boys had returned to spanking me harder and harder as if it was a competition, no wonder Sasha had escaped I thought. I finally reached the top and I hauled myself over the edge before getting a head rush and flying face forward onto the dusty ground. I stood and brushed myself off before finally yanking off the stupid harness and throwing it to the floor. I felt the sun on my back and I turned just in time to see one of the stupid boys climbing up, grinning right at me. I turned to escape but he grabbed at my waist, I turned and shoved him down, I had the upper hand now seeing as I was on stable ground. Well, I did until his friend made it up. I turned scanning my surroundings for Rose but she was long gone. I pulled the two separate halves of my now cardigan together and tried to look brave. ‘Listen, you guys need to grow up and stop being idiots’ I said to them, no longer afraid Stacey would hear, I doubted she even cared. ‘We were just having some fun’ the cocky one said stepping toward me. I turned to walk away when I saw the path leading past the trees, I put my head high and tried to walk like I knew where I was going and that I wasn’t going to take any crap. Unfortunately I tripped over a rogue log, winding myself in the process. I lay over the log my butt sticking in the air. I didn’t realise until it was too late when the boys easily pulled off my cotton skirt that had no zipper or belt. I jumped up covering my privates the best I could still try to hold my top together. ‘Now, you give that back’ I said putting on a stern face. They must have seen right through me because they laughed and ran off down the path that led down a bumpy downhill slope into the trees. My top was still connected by about two centimetres at the bottom and was long enough to cover half my ass and my pussy. I looked around and decided the safety of the trees was my only hope. I could hear the boys laughing somewhere in the distance but they got quieter and quieter until I could hear them no longer. I sighed to myself and thought this was one hell of a crazy camp. I’d been wandering through the forest when I’d noticed the trees had got thicker and I couldn’t see what was left of the sunlight too well. I reached down, to get my phone when I realised I had no pocket, and either way I’d left it in my room. A cold breeze ran through the trees, hitting my bare skin and making me shiver. My fingers started to ache from clinging to my top so hard, I stretched my arms out and flexed my finger. My top blew open and my hair went wild in the wind. I tried to imagine how I’d look wandering half naked in the woods with wild hair. I heard noise behind me, sounds of footsteps and laughter. I jumped behind a large tree and hit in the bushes beneath it. A group of loud teenage boys walked past, smoking what smelled like weed and drinking from glass bottles. “That camp is that way” One of them said, his voice slurred. I snuck my head out to see where he was pointing to; I leant back to my hiding place and stumbled, making a loud rustling noise. I froze as I heard them muttering and coming closer. “Don’t bother it’s probably just some animal, we have places to go Danny!” One shouted and the footsteps retreated. I swiftly jumped from my hiding place and legged it in the direction the boy had earlier pointed. The trees began to thin and I noticed that darkness had begun to encase the trees. When I got to the end of the trees, I slowed as I came out onto sand, it was almost pitch black, I could see the water to my right, the moon reflecting off it was eerie and made me feel a little worried. I felt a drop of water hit my forehead and soon it was tipping it down with rain, brilliant, I thought to myself. I turned away from the water in the direction I though the camp was, I found a path and followed it. The rain was oddly warm, but it didn’t stop it from making my thin blue jumper see through as it clung to my skin, outlining my body shape and making me very wary. I carried on, following the path, trudging over the wet ground, I didn’t even care it was raining anymore, I just wanted to sleep. I slipped on a muddy patch and yelled out. I lay on the floor for a while, I didn’t want to get up, I couldn’t find the strength but I knew I had to. I pulled my arms forward and began lifting my head up until I saw a pair of black hiking boots right in front of me. I was suddenly very aware of my lack of clothing. I looked up through my soaking hair, at this tall person framed by the moonlight. I squinted through the downpour of rain on my face and saw.. __________________ ★Boop Boop de Boop.★ female, engurrland. Ask me anything, click. My tumblr. 18+ ▼

06-04-2009, 02:32 PM	#152
Lolly getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Nowhere in particular Posts: 456 Blog Entries: 11	-Insert retard response- Good story! Please write more -End of retard response- -My response- Very interesting. I bet you that Charlotte is gonna get stripped nude. xD Orrr that mysterious person is here to help her. :O I shall be waiting for the next segment. -End of response- __________________ Peanut butter jelly time! Do you want fries with that?

06-05-2009, 06:41 PM	#158
WhiteWingDemon Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 122	I like this so far. For one, it's one of the few realistic, and a few of the other occurrences, but those are of small matter] stories out there, and two it's actually well written. I would give it an A. Although I do have one grief, and that is more with the past two chapters. Perhaps it's more of a personal opinion, but the way the boys acted completely irritates me. Not only is it pretty much sexual harassment regardless of how she dresses, and it's just ugh. I would have them shot on the spot, and if it was someone I cared about, worse. Though I will say I like Lucas and how for the most part he is a nice guy. I would like to see him be a bit nicer, for example what he did at the restaurant didn't seem to nice and all. Maybe you could introduce another guy, that competes with Lucas. He discovers Charlotte's dare addiction and acts much like Lukas, causing trouble for her, but doesn't do it for his own advantage at all (I.E. not perverted or doesn't try to expose Charlotte in front of him), and this attracts Charlotte to him. I don't know, just an idea. __________________ What?

06-06-2009, 02:50 PM	#160
BettyBoop Angel of Dare Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: England. Posts: 8,249 Blog Entries: 105	Thank you all for the comments, those good and those constructive criticism. I would be really grateful if someone could send me some other ideas for while they are at the camp? PM if you do. Thanks again. __________________ ★Boop Boop de Boop.★ female, engurrland. Ask me anything, click. My tumblr. 18+ ▼ Last edited by BettyBoop; 11-21-2010 at 05:16 AM.

06-11-2009, 12:50 PM	#164
fire Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 151	I'm sure betty is just stressed out due to exams and she has a right to be annoyed as she only posted a few days ago and could probably do without users pressuring her for more chapters. Just my opinion didn't mean to poke my nose in. __________________ Likes: Humiliation, slight pain, anal, orgasm denial, general (strict) control. Dislikes: Long-term Limits: Public, family/friends, poo/pee, cum eating, webcam/pictures.

06-04-2009, 08:22 PM	#153
nich Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 21	when is the next chapter coming out? this is really good

06-05-2009, 04:14 AM	#154
hot24guy Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 129	Betty an amazing story. keep up the good work.

06-05-2009, 06:22 AM	#155
Nelson Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 77	I really enjoyed Chapter 16. It was amazing to think of her clinging to the rock while the guys were taking advantage of her!! Please continue with your amazing story.

06-05-2009, 09:40 AM	#157
overlord Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 233	lol nice prioritising

06-06-2009, 10:36 AM	#159
quidproquo Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: The US of A Posts: 109	I agree with the other members who dislike the two boys in the two recent chapters. It was not really entertaining to read about them, because they make me angry, and it's becoming a mature topic (sexual assault). I agree that it would be better to have some nicer, more compassionate guys in the story instead of them. I do like the character of Lucas, he seems nice enough but not so nice that he's not believable. I would put more of him in and develop the relationship between him and Charlotte a little more. It might be a nice twist to add a more dominant female to the story who gets back at the two younger boys. Overall, very good though.

06-10-2009, 02:14 PM	#161
nich Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 21	was this story abandoned?

06-11-2009, 01:07 PM	#165
nich Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 21	I apologize for pressuring you, I didn't know you were under stress, and the other forums I belong to usually post full stories. Just not used to the chapters.