Funny thread!

the dude · 05-01-2007, 06:48 PM

Ok i got this idea! every 1 post a joke a day and lets see who is the funniest! So like for today i say the first joke!

today it is this!
OK there are 2 brunets in the front of a pickup truck and about three or four blonds in the back of the truck. The truck crashed into a river and the 2 brunets open the doors and get out. Then after about 2 or 3 minutes the blonds come up. The brunets ask them what took you so long. And they say " We could'nt get the tailgate down! "

some one else post 1. and if u do it get new ones and post 1 every day!Im gonna do this!

Glutgod · 05-02-2007, 04:09 PM

Ok that one was weird... But heres a good one:
It is a your mom joke

Your mom is so stupid, I told her to do the robot and R2D2 got aids.

tordman · 05-03-2007, 11:48 AM

i told u this already but...
A guy walks into the patent office and states that he needs to get a patent.

The clerk leads him into an office and they both sit down.

The clerk asks him what he has invented?

The guy pulls a crumpled lump of plastic from a brown paper bag. With the flick of his wrist, it pops into a perfectly shaped bottle.

The clerk tells him that his invention is truly amazing, and asks him what he calls it?

The guy says that it is a "Fottle......folding and bottle equals Fottle.....Get it?"

The clerk asks if he has invented any other products?

The guy says yeah, " I have a folding carton that I call a "farton".

The clerk says that "Farton" is a completely unacceptable name for a product and he could not possibly issue a patent for an item with such a name.

The guy says........"I guess you don't want to hear about my folding bucket"

Glutgod · 05-03-2007, 02:55 PM

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

RockerChick9 · 05-03-2007, 03:19 PM

One day at work two workers started telling blond jokes. A blond women walked up to them and said "you should be ashamed! Not all blonds are dumb you know! thats a really horrible thing to say!" And she stormed out feeling very insulted.

as she was driving home she saw another blond woman rowing a boat in a corn field. The woman got out of her car "you know it's people like you that make blonds look stupid!" she screamed shaking her fist at the blond in the boat. " id come over there and kick your ass if i could swim!"

lol, i love blond jokes. its quite funny too that im lond myself

the dude · 05-04-2007, 12:28 PM

AH HA HA HA HA HAHAHAHA DID U KNOW ROCKERCHICK THAT U EVEN SPELLED BLOND WRONG IN THAT LAST SENTANCE OF THE POST! IV GOT A LOT OF DUMB BLOND JOKES SO ILL MOSTLY POST THOSE THO SO DONT BE OFFENDED!

so ok SANTS CLAUSE , A BRUNET , AND A , DUMB BLOND ARE ON TOP OF THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING. THEY ALL JUMPED OFF. WHICH ONE WILL HIT THE GROUND FIRST! the brunet because the blond had to stop and ask for directions!

Glutgod · 05-04-2007, 06:27 PM

Yo the caps and wrong grammer make it annoying to read, try to fix it.

Ok go to up your friend and have a thumb war, this is what you say

1...2...3..4...Lets have a thumb war...5...6...7...8..I use this hand to masterbate.

Big_Joe · 05-05-2007, 04:18 PM

Here's quite a funny one:

A blonde is on a gameshow and gets asked the question: name a bird which does not build its own nest. She rightly answers Cukoo and takes away £50.
That night her friend asks her how she knew the answer and she answers, "Well everyone knows Cukoos live in clocks!"

Also:

"Yo mommas so fat, even God cudn't lift her spirit!"

squirt · 05-05-2007, 08:34 PM

What doesn't belong in this list: wife, eggs, meat, and blow job? Blow job. You can beat your wife, eggs, and meat, but you can't beat a blow job.

the dude · 05-07-2007, 09:14 AM

How can u tell that a dumb blond is haveing a bad day? if she has a tampon behind her ear and cant find her pencil!

the dude · 06-09-2007, 08:01 AM

ok 1 nite a married couple were in bed and the wife woke up and her husband was gone. she went downstairs to the kitchen and hears a muffled sound in the basement and goes down there. then in the basement she finds her husband huddled sobbing in the corner. she asks him whats wrong and he says well u remember when we where sixteen and your dad caught us haveing sex? wel u know how he said i could marry u or go to prison? I would have got out today!

bondfan · 06-09-2007, 08:08 AM

How many elephants can get into a sub-marine?
12. Cause the cause the bell is on the left hand side.

Anti Humour for the win

verycarroty · 06-09-2007, 08:09 AM

whats the difference between light and hard?

You can sleep with a light on.

05-01-2007, 06:48 PM	#1
the dude Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Up ur girlfriends a*s Posts: 120	Funny thread! Ok i got this idea! every 1 post a joke a day and lets see who is the funniest! So like for today i say the first joke! today it is this! OK there are 2 brunets in the front of a pickup truck and about three or four blonds in the back of the truck. The truck crashed into a river and the 2 brunets open the doors and get out. Then after about 2 or 3 minutes the blonds come up. The brunets ask them what took you so long. And they say " We could'nt get the tailgate down! " some one else post 1. and if u do it get new ones and post 1 every day!Im gonna do this! __________________ You have 2 choices in the world.To be afraid of what's in the darkness. Or to be whats in the darkness to be afraid of... I AM THE DARKNESS www.myspace.com/jess_is_that_dude

05-02-2007, 04:09 PM	#2
Glutgod getDare Devil Join Date: May 2006 Location: In your pants Posts: 1,403	Ok that one was weird... But heres a good one: It is a your mom joke Your mom is so stupid, I told her to do the robot and R2D2 got aids. __________________ For us, the storm has passed. The war is over. And let us never forget those who journeyed into the howling dark, and did not return. For their decision required courage beyond measure. Sacrifice, an unshakeable conviction that their fight... our fight... was elsewhere. As we start to rebuild, this hillside will remain barren, a memorial to heroes fallen. They enobled all of us, and they shall not be forgotten

05-03-2007, 02:55 PM	#4
Glutgod getDare Devil Join Date: May 2006 Location: In your pants Posts: 1,403	A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!" __________________ For us, the storm has passed. The war is over. And let us never forget those who journeyed into the howling dark, and did not return. For their decision required courage beyond measure. Sacrifice, an unshakeable conviction that their fight... our fight... was elsewhere. As we start to rebuild, this hillside will remain barren, a memorial to heroes fallen. They enobled all of us, and they shall not be forgotten

05-03-2007, 03:19 PM	#5
RockerChick9 Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: If i told you, i would have to kill you Posts: 3	One day at work two workers started telling blond jokes. A blond women walked up to them and said "you should be ashamed! Not all blonds are dumb you know! thats a really horrible thing to say!" And she stormed out feeling very insulted. as she was driving home she saw another blond woman rowing a boat in a corn field. The woman got out of her car "you know it's people like you that make blonds look stupid!" she screamed shaking her fist at the blond in the boat. " id come over there and kick your ass if i could swim!" lol, i love blond jokes. its quite funny too that im lond myself __________________ yeah, people say i tend to be a little to violent sometimes.

05-04-2007, 12:28 PM	#6
the dude Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Up ur girlfriends a*s Posts: 120	AH HA HA HA HA HAHAHAHA DID U KNOW ROCKERCHICK THAT U EVEN SPELLED BLOND WRONG IN THAT LAST SENTANCE OF THE POST! IV GOT A LOT OF DUMB BLOND JOKES SO ILL MOSTLY POST THOSE THO SO DONT BE OFFENDED! so ok SANTS CLAUSE , A BRUNET , AND A , DUMB BLOND ARE ON TOP OF THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING. THEY ALL JUMPED OFF. WHICH ONE WILL HIT THE GROUND FIRST! the brunet because the blond had to stop and ask for directions! __________________ You have 2 choices in the world.To be afraid of what's in the darkness. Or to be whats in the darkness to be afraid of... I AM THE DARKNESS www.myspace.com/jess_is_that_dude

05-03-2007, 11:48 AM	#3
tordman Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 44	i told u this already but... A guy walks into the patent office and states that he needs to get a patent. The clerk leads him into an office and they both sit down. The clerk asks him what he has invented? The guy pulls a crumpled lump of plastic from a brown paper bag. With the flick of his wrist, it pops into a perfectly shaped bottle. The clerk tells him that his invention is truly amazing, and asks him what he calls it? The guy says that it is a "Fottle......folding and bottle equals Fottle.....Get it?" The clerk asks if he has invented any other products? The guy says yeah, " I have a folding carton that I call a "farton". The clerk says that "Farton" is a completely unacceptable name for a product and he could not possibly issue a patent for an item with such a name. The guy says........"I guess you don't want to hear about my folding bucket"

05-04-2007, 06:27 PM	#7
Glutgod getDare Devil Join Date: May 2006 Location: In your pants Posts: 1,403	Yo the caps and wrong grammer make it annoying to read, try to fix it. Ok go to up your friend and have a thumb war, this is what you say 1...2...3..4...Lets have a thumb war...5...6...7...8..I use this hand to masterbate. __________________ For us, the storm has passed. The war is over. And let us never forget those who journeyed into the howling dark, and did not return. For their decision required courage beyond measure. Sacrifice, an unshakeable conviction that their fight... our fight... was elsewhere. As we start to rebuild, this hillside will remain barren, a memorial to heroes fallen. They enobled all of us, and they shall not be forgotten

05-05-2007, 04:18 PM	#8
Big_Joe Distinguished Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: New Zealand Posts: 735	Here's quite a funny one: A blonde is on a gameshow and gets asked the question: name a bird which does not build its own nest. She rightly answers Cukoo and takes away £50. That night her friend asks her how she knew the answer and she answers, "Well everyone knows Cukoos live in clocks!" Also: "Yo mommas so fat, even God cudn't lift her spirit!"

05-05-2007, 08:34 PM	#9
squirt Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 131	What doesn't belong in this list: wife, eggs, meat, and blow job? Blow job. You can beat your wife, eggs, and meat, but you can't beat a blow job.

05-07-2007, 09:14 AM	#10
the dude Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Up ur girlfriends a*s Posts: 120	How can u tell that a dumb blond is haveing a bad day? if she has a tampon behind her ear and cant find her pencil! __________________ You have 2 choices in the world.To be afraid of what's in the darkness. Or to be whats in the darkness to be afraid of... I AM THE DARKNESS www.myspace.com/jess_is_that_dude

06-09-2007, 08:01 AM	#11
the dude Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Up ur girlfriends a*s Posts: 120	ok 1 nite a married couple were in bed and the wife woke up and her husband was gone. she went downstairs to the kitchen and hears a muffled sound in the basement and goes down there. then in the basement she finds her husband huddled sobbing in the corner. she asks him whats wrong and he says well u remember when we where sixteen and your dad caught us haveing sex? wel u know how he said i could marry u or go to prison? I would have got out today! __________________ You have 2 choices in the world.To be afraid of what's in the darkness. Or to be whats in the darkness to be afraid of... I AM THE DARKNESS www.myspace.com/jess_is_that_dude

06-09-2007, 08:08 AM	#12
bondfan Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 88	How many elephants can get into a sub-marine? 12. Cause the cause the bell is on the left hand side. Anti Humour for the win

06-09-2007, 08:09 AM	#13
verycarroty Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: uk Posts: 85	whats the difference between light and hard? You can sleep with a light on.