Someone You Hate

[Lydia]

I got the idea for this dare based on a fetish of mine of being humiliated before people I hate. It might not be everyone's cup of tea, but it's a good set of dares for punishment or self-humiliation. If any of the dares are too extreme for you, you may re-roll for another outcome, but doing so means you must roll for one of the penalties according to the appropriate category.

First, roll for level of extremity:

1-2: Easy
3-4: Moderate
5-6: Hard

If you rolled Easy:

1. Send a friendly email, text or voice message to someone you hate; something as simple as "Hey, just wanted to catch up. How are youdoing?"

2. Masturbate to photos / thoughts of someone you hate. If you can't come, set a picture of the person you hate to your desktop and rub yourself really fast every time you see your desktop picture. If you don't have a picture of them, type out their name in huge bold letters in a paintshop image and save it and then set that to your desktop and masturbate to that every time you see it.

3. Tell someone you hate that you'd like to be friends with / get to know them better.

4. Add someone you hate to your facebook / myspace and set your privacy settings so they can view all your photos and wall posts. Alternatively, send them a link to your blog page if you have one.

5. For the next week, listen to the type of music / band that the person you hate listens to. If you don't know what music they listen to, ask them or ask a friend of theirs. You should also add the music they like to your Ipod and listen to it every night before bed while masturbating rapidly.

6. Print out a picture of someone you hate, hide it somewhere obvious in your room (where someone might find it), and take it out every night and stare at it while getting off. If you don't have a picture of them, then write out their name in huge bold black letters on blank sheets of paper and hide them all over your room where someone might find them. At night, take out all the pieces of paper or the picture and masturbate with them while singing "You're better than me (insert person's name)"

If you rolled Moderate:

1. Tell someone you hate that you failed a test (even if you didn't). Ask them if they will tutor you. Alternatively, ask them to tell your friends you failed so they will give you some alone time to study more. You may not talk to any of your friends for at least three days; you can only talk to the person you hate or a friend of theirs, asking them for "study advice."

2. Tell someone you hate you got grounded (even if you are an adult) and that you'd like to hang out / talk to them by phone or email but you can't since you are grounded for (insert something really embarrassing or stupid that you did wrong--imaginary obviously)

3. Ask the person you hate for clothing tips; say you have no fashion sense and you'd like them to give you ideas on what to wear. Alternatively, start dressing like the person you hate as similarly to their style of dress as possible.

4. Apologize to someone you hate in an elaborate voicemail, email or face-to-face. Say you are "deeply sorry" for something you said / did wrong (even if you didn't really do anything wrong, say you are sorry for "being rude" to them in general).

5. Tell someone you hate that you admire / look up to them and consider them a "real inspiration"; really gush about it as if you are an eight-year-old gushing over your role model.

6. Tell someone you hate that you've been having problems with constipation / have a urinary tract problem, and ask them for advice on how to remedy this problem.

If You Rolled Hard:

1. "Confess" to someone you hate that you "Love" them (this is imaginary obviously)

2. Confess something really bad that you did to someone you hate (if necessary, make it up). Ask them to keep it between the two of you because you "already have a police record" (even if the thing you confessed to isn't against the law--this may not make sense but it makes you look really stupid, which is the whole point).

3. Tell someone you hate that you still wet your pants sometimes due to a medical problem. If they wonder why you are telling them, say you're too embarrassed to tell your friends about it because you don't want them to think badly of you.

4. Tell someone you hate that you have lesbian/ bisexual / homosexual thoughts sometimes; if you are really a glutton for punishment, name someone of your same gender that you both know and say you have a "major crush" on that person. If you actually are openly gay or lesbian, then re-roll (no penalty).

5. Ask someone you hate if you can hang out with them and their friends. If they say yes, hang out with them at least three times, no less. If they say no, call them or one of their friends and start crying over the phone, saying that you "feel rejected."

6. Tell someone you hate that you'd like to "reconcile" with them and "have a good relationship" with them some day; the key to this one is that you have to pour your heart out and truly humiliate yourself in front of them by saying that all the unpleasantness in your relationship is your fault and you are "so so sorry" that you "ever disrespected" them.

Now for the penalties if you chose to reject a dare and re-roll.

If you rejected a dare in the easy category:

1. slip a pickle / banana / two eggs in the front of your underpants and hump a pillow

2. wear the same pair of underwear for three days

3. masturbate really hard and then, just as you are about to cum, press ice against your genitals until they go numb

4. for the next two days, if you want to bathe / shower you must do so fully clothed

5. eat at least half of a lemon really fast. if you can't do it, press it against your genitals and masturbate with it.

6. sprinkle salt all over your head so it looks like you have dandruff and then go out and buy dandruff shampoo

If you rejected a dare in the medium category:

1. if you are a girl: you can't shave for two weeks. if you are a guy: shave your pits / legs for two weeks; but you can wear pants and shirts with sleeves.

2. squirt your underpants and bra (if you are guy, still put on a bra) full of ketchup and mayo/ mustard and keep it that way for at least a whole afternoon or morning

3. for at least one minute, dance naked in front of an open door while someone is home or, for at least thirty seconds, dance naked in front of a window that is facing a well-traveled street

4. use two of the following things as shampoo and conditioner at least twice in the next two weeks: mayonnaise, ketchup, mustard, yogurt, spreadable butter, syrup, baked beans

5. wet yourself in bed and sleep that way.

6. write a crappy poem and post it on your facebook / myspace / blog and brag to everyone about how wonderful it is

If you rejected a dare in the hard category:

1. shit your pants while kneeling on the floor, then stand up really fast and slam your butt against the floor / a chair / your bed. stay in that outfit the rest of the day.

2. put on every pair of underwear you own and pee through them. for the next week, you aren't allowed to wash any of your underpants; use a different pair of the pee-stained underwear every day

3.press your bare ass against a glass door / window, one which faces a well-traveled street or neighbor's house, for at least ten minutes. then turn around and press your face against the glass, until your nose is squished up against it, and smile a retarded looking smile. don't move your face away for thirty seconds.

4. pee into every cup you own. you then have two choices of what you can do next: pour the pee out (BUT DO NOT WASH OUT THE CUPS) and then use the pee-sullied cups for at least three days OR you may clean the cups out entirely, but you must drink a sip of your own pee first.

5. donate at least twenty dollars of your own money to a cause you hate (i.e. if you hate guns, donate the money to the National Rifle Association.) Alternatively, you must buy a hat and t-shirt which express support for the cause and wear them both in public for a whole day.

6. upload a nude pic of yourself to a public non-pay website and then PM at least ten totally random people on Getdare offering to give them a link to the site where your nude pic is located. for the first person who says yes to your question, you must give them the username and password to your account so they can control where your picture is posted and how long it stays up.