♥ Strip Poker with a Twist --- the Aftermath ♥ (no comments)

[Rachie]

STRIP POKER WITH A TWIST THE AFTERMATH

PART 37B (313 Parts in total)


please select/vote for your favorite/s jokes from the selection below.


JOKE 1
A bus full of nuns crashes and unforunatly they all die,at the gates of heaven they meet st peter.
He asks the first nun "have you ever had any contact with a penis?" the nun replies "i poked one once." st peter says "wash your finger in this holy water and enter heaven."
he asks the next nun the same question, she replies "i fiddled with one once". "wash your hand in this holy water and enter heaven."
then st peter hears a commotion among the other nuns and one nun pushes to the front.
"whats wrong?" he asks.
The nun replies "if im going to have to gargle that holy water, i want to do it before sister anne washes her ass in it".

JOKE 2
There once was a man in the desert, that bought a camel, but he was unhappy with the speed of the camel so he brought it back to the dealer.
"sir, this camel is so slow" the man said
"no no sir, just back it up into this tent" the dealer replied
the man backed the camel in, and the dealer took 2 bricks and slaped the camels nutsack, making the camel run of faster than ever.
The man looked puzzled, and asked: "well how am i supposed to catch it now?"

the dealer replied: "just back into the tent sir"


JOKE 3
Two psychiatrists were walking down a hall.

One turned to the other and said, "hello."

the other one thought, "i wonder what he meant by that."

JOKE 4
Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.

The driver blonde turned to her friend and said “you know – it’s blondes like that that give us a bad name!”

to this, the other blonde replies “i know it, and if i knew how to swim, i’d go out there and drown her.”


QUOTE 5
a newlywed couple just moved into their new house.

One day the husband comes home from work and his wife asks for a favor, "honey, the car won't start, i think that it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?"

"what do i look like, mr. Goodwrench?" was his response.

A weeks go by, and it's raining pretty hard. His wife then finds a leak in the roof. She pleads with him as he's walking through the door. "honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?"

he just looked at her and said, "what do i look like, bob vila?" and sat down with a beer and watched a game on tv.

One weekend the husband woke up and it was pouring pretty hard, but the leak on the roof was gone!

His wife was coming home just then, and as she walked through the door, the husband asked, "honey, how come there aren't any more leaks, and the car's running?"

she replied nonchalantly, "oh, the other day i was picking up the mail, and i ran into one of our new neighbors, jon. What a nice man. He came over and fixed everything."

"wow, did he charge us anything?" asked the husband.

"no, he just said that he'd do it for free if i either baked him a cake or had sex with him." she said.

"cool. What kind of cake did you make?" asked the husband.

"cake? What the hell do you think i look like, betty crocker?

QUOTE 6
The police arressted two boys yesterday
one was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks
they charged one and let the other off

we three kings of orient ah
one in a taxi one in a car
one on a scooter
beeping his hooter
smoking a fat cigar

ohhhoh star of wonder
star of night
sit on a box of dynamite
light the fuse
and read the news
and you'll be on the moon tonight

how many blonde jokes are there?
Just this one the rest are all true stories


JOKE 7
Jack woke up with a huge hangover after attending his company's christmas party. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party.
As bad as he as feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw was couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table.
And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sat up and saw his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.
He looked around the room and saw that it was in perfect order, spotlessly clean.
So was the rest of the house. He took the aspirins, and cringed when he saw a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror.
Then he noticed a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick:
"honey, breakfast is on the stove. I left early to get
groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling!"
he stumbled to the kitchen and sure enough, there was hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son was also at the table, eating.
Jack asked, "son, what happened last night?"
"well, you came home after 3 a.m, drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway,
and got that black eye when you ran into the door."
confused, he asked his son, "so, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??
His son replied, "oh that! Mum dragged you to the bathroom to clean you up, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, 'leave me alone bitch, i'm married!"


JOKE 8
An escaped convict broke into a house, and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom. As soon as he had a chance, the husband turned to his gorgeous young wife, bound-up on the bed in a tiny, thin, silk nightgown, and whispered, "honey, this guy hasn't been with a woman in years. Just go with whatever he wants. If he wants to have sex, just do it, and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it!"
"honey," the wife said, out of the corner of her gag, "i'm so relieved you feel that way, because he just told me he thinks you have a nice, firm, tight ass!"

JOKE 9
Three couples got married and spent their honeymoons at the same hotel, where they were all attended to by adam the bellboy.

The first man married a nurse.

Adam showed them to their room, all the while thinking to himself, "lucky guy! Nurses are known to be hot to trot."

the second man married a telephone operator.

Adam showed them to their room, while thinking to himself, "wow, he's one lucky dude. Telephone operators have such sexy voices and once you pop that top button.. Va-voom."

the third man married a school teacher.

Adam showed them to their room and thought to himself, "poor sap. She may be pretty, but teachers are way too frigid."

at 5:30 the following morning, adam reported to work. He expected the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute, but was sure the other two wouldn't call until much later in the day.

The phone rang at 6 a.m. And it was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. Adam took breakfast up to the room and when the husband opened the door, adam stepped back in shock. The man's pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.

"sir, what happened?" asked adam. "you married a nurse."

"son, don't ever marry a nurse," the man sourly replied. "all i heard last night was her nagging voice saying, 'you're not sanitary, you're not sanitary'."

the phone rang again at 6:30 a.m. And this time it was the telephone operator's husband calling for breakfast. Adam took it to the room as quickly as possible. When the man opened the door, adam stepped back in shock. The man's hair was neatly combed and his pajamas nicely pressed.

"what happened?" adam asked with surprise. "telephone operators as supposed to be as sexy as their voices."

"son, don't ever marry a telephone operator," the man groaned. "all i heard last night was her nasal voice saying, 'your three minutes are up, your three minutes are up'."

adam returned to his desk, sure that the teacher's husband would be calling at any moment.

Finally, at 4 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.

Adam couldn't believe it, but quickly took the breakfast to the couple's room. When the man opened the door, adam stepped back in shock. The man was wearing only a pair of boxers, his hair was a mess, and there were scratches all over his chest, arms and legs.

"my goodness sir, what happened to you?" adam asked, fearing the worst. "did you have a fight?"

the man, grinning from ear to ear, happily replied, "no. Son, when you marry be sure it's to a school teacher. All i heard last night was her sexy, smooth voice saying, 'we're going to do this over, and over, and over again, until we get it right'."


All comments on story or jokes are much appreciated. Winning joke will recieve a gold star

[12356416514a]

lol, now I wish I had choose a shorter but seriously, who reads all the jokes?

Anyway, waiting for more.

[Cute emma]

I've read all the jokes and preferred 6/9

Can't wait for more

[daremaster 1]

I liked 8 and 9 but choose 9.

[mystery girl]

Enjoyed reading, wish I was eligible for star by voting. Agree with above an like 9 the best

[Davestrippoker]

There all better than mine lol. When's the next part Gunna be out?

[12356416514a]

Fuck the jokes, let's just skip to the next part



Rachie, I really like you. You seem to be a nice person. You put a lot of work into your story and you always answer to us. This shows that you are a friendly and nice person. But those events are killing me

Ohh and I have read some older parts earlier today, the part where Mark was at the twins house doors and was tricked to strip naked was funny.

RACHIE EDIT
thank you, more in less than 24 hours (just got back from poker)

[daremaster 1]

When is the dead line for this? The next chapter?

[blue eyes]

Originally Posted by daremaster 1

When is the dead line for this? The next chapter?

I believe she said in the above post. Later today

Can't wait.

[Mike427]

I'm torn between 5 and 8. I think I'll go with 5.

[Rachie]

Thank you everyone that took time reading the jokes and voting.

Congratulations to Clarabelle for the funniest joke

Stars have been awarded

STRIP POKER WITH A TWIST THE AFTERMATH

What will happen next?

Find out now in ………………

PART 38 (314 Parts in total)

After a lot of laughter John finally returned smiling.

"What are you so happy about?" Dani asked, feeling much better now that her dreaded dare was finally over.

"Just saving the image" replied John.

Dani looked at John strangely before asking "What are you on about?"

"Just picturing what you’re wearing under them clothes” he chuckled.

There was more laughter before he finally turned to Sarah and asked "Have you thought about the question?"

Nodding Sarah replied "Yes"

Several players looked puzzled before remembering that Sarah had bargained with Amber before taking her clothes off.

"Looking happy once again, Sarah turned to Amber and asked "Who do you think fucked you last night and who would you like it to be. How was it what did it feel like etc.

"OMG what are awesome questioned" Mark sniggered intrigued to hear his little sisters answer. I wonder what she will answer, he thought to himself.

Hearing her question Amber froze, was she really prepared to tell her friends who she would have liked to fuck? Was there any way of doing this diplomatically without hurting anyone's feelings.

OMG I hope it wasn't Mark, she said to herself, wishing the group would tell her the true facts afterwards. Whatever could or should she answer?

"Well I will say that whoever it was most certainly gave me a shock. I wasn't expecting anything like that whatsoever. It kind of felt strange yet exciting, I don't know if this was because I was tied down and blindfolded or if its natural, but I most certainly would like to have the same feeling inside me again" Amber blushed hoping she wouldn't later regret all she had said.

"Was it your first?" Mark asked wanting to know more juicy facts.

"Errrrr, well errrr, I don't wish to answer that right now" replied Amber hoping to know who it was before she released those sort of facts.

"Very well" Mark sulked realising he wasn't going to get anything out of her.

"So what are the other answers, who do you think it was, and who would you have liked it to have been? John repeated the question.

"Well I think it was either John, Adam or Mark" Amber stuttered realising the group would ask her for reasons and to narrow her choice down to just one.

Amber was correct about her predictions, the players did want a more precise answer with reasons. "Well I think it may have been Mark because he would love to have one over on me, also the way he asked was it my first put extra reasons to this.

It most certainly felt rather large and pleasurable, so it could have been Johns as he seems to be the largest here.

But it could have been Adam because I think he loves me and we have a great passion for each other" Amber finished with flicking her eye lashes up and down to Adam.

"So would I be correct in thinking that you would have preferred it to have been Adam that fucked you last night?" asked John trying to sound as unconvincing as possible.

"Yes" answered Amber beginning to doubt that her prediction was correct especially with the way John had worded the question.

"So who was it" she finally asked, hoping to be put out of her misery.

"Well that doesn't really matter, I wouldn't want to tell you and spoil those fantasise of Adam that you have got wrapped up in your head" John replied sarcastically.

Gloomily Amber decided to say nothing and instead just sat there waiting to find out what would happen next.

"Would anyone like a drink and some cookies." John asked.

With several happy hungry faces replying yes, John asked if Sarah could accompany him with carrying some of the drinks.

Happily Sarah stood and followed John through the creepy mansion to fetch the drinks.

"Will you help me with my next idea" asked John.

Sarah looked at John with her mouth wide open, what could his plan be?

TO BE CONTINUED ............

What will the plan be?

What is the next story line to be?

Keep reading for more exciting Strip Poker with a Twist the Aftermath events.

[owlart]

Thanks Rachie, another good Chapter.

[daremaster 1]

Thanks Rahie! Also, I voted for Amber!

[_CBTslave_]

I can't vote, says I already voted, I assume this is because that I voted on a joke.

RACHIE EDIT
Apologies believe this is the case. Originally wanted the previous poll to totally disappear, couldnt remember how to do this, or if it was possible. Sinstead changed it. If you would like to message answer can add vote automatically.

Love Rachie
x x x x

PS - thanks for reading and continued support everyone

[Clarabelle]

Yay thank y'all for voting for my joke and cant wait for the next chapter rachie