'Hampers': A Saga

Hampers · 02-11-2009, 07:01 PM

I was recently asked in the chat to tell the story of why I chose the name 'Hampers' for myself. I signed up on a whim in March 2007 [Incidentally, it was as an attempt to question the authenticity of someone's claim of having written a dare. I had been a user of the other dare site where this user had taken the dare from and so was able to say that their version of events wasn't correct] I had been a lurker for about six months, and a keen truth or dare player for a few years before that, and it seemed like a reasonable thing to do. So I signed up and had to choose a username. It was then that I remembered the 'Hampers' episode of my life from the previous year.

It's a long and complicated story, so it's going to stretch out a bit, but here it is. It was a few years ago, so as far as I can tell this is all correct.

Part 1: The First Part
When I started high school, I didn't really know many people, and so I quickly became friends with Paul, Ian and Angus from the year above. They always pretended to hate each other, but really they were good friends. Angus was always the sort of outsider, so me joining their little group balanced things out a bit. Paul was our leader, because he was the tallest.

We used to hang out outside the local library, because it had the comfiest benches. Every afternoon the four of us would go there and sit around for a few hours. We started out just talking, but after a while we noticed that there was fun to be had with the shops across the road.

We started with the newsagents, where we would hide money in packets of gum when the sales assistant wasn't looking, and then come in again and buy those packets of gum, and tear open the gum to pay for the gum. Wild stuff. We also went to the pet shop. We would ask if they wanted shredded paper for their puppies to live in. We spent about a week buying newspapers from the newsagents, and then sitting on the pet shop floor, ripping them up by hand. Each day, once we'd made a huge mess, we'd just leave it on the floor and run away.

The third shop we visited was the Gallery Florentine, which had lots of corsets and Victoriania sort of clothes. We went in, and were generally surprised at the elegance of the wares on offer. We all had a bit of money, so we bought an outfit each. I distinctly remember my first one was a frock coat, cravat, green waistcoat, and a top hat. The looks we got were phenomenal, walking round together. Especially once we got the silver-handled canes to match.

Sadly, the newsagent joke stopped working once we were all dressed up.

From that day on, we were always dressed like that. We still loitered around the library, but people didn't seem to notice as much; they assumed we were dressed up as 19th Century poets as some sort of permanent advertising campaign to encourage young people to read more. It also started to effect a change in the way we spoke. No longer would I greet Paul with "Hey, what's up?" but rather "How do you do, sir? And what news of my Lord Buckingham?"

This was about a year after we'd first started hanging out around the library, [Paul, Ian, and Angus were 16 at this point. I was 15.] so people hadn't really noticed such a gradual change. And neither had we, really. Until one day the organising committee for the bi-annual town square festival approached us one Thursday afternoon and asked if we'd be interested in performing in some way for it. [I say bi-annual, I'm not sure if there's a better word for it. It used to happen every year, until the council invested a lot of money in .com shares at the end of the 90s. After that economic bubble burst, a lot of figurative belts had to be tightened in the council treasury, and it was decided that a festival every year was a bit excessive].

It was the sesqui-centenary of our suburb officially existing, so the council were planning a big history theme for the festival that year, and had started combing the streets for things that looked historical. We were one of them. We actually had little interest in, or knowledge of history at that point, local or otherwise.

My father was a lecturer in Arab-Israeli history, with a specialty in the period from 1948-1982 (The foundation of Israel [also known as al-naqba (spelling?) to the Palestinians] to the invasion of Lebanon, as I'm sure you're all aware), and that was about as close to real history as I had become. Paul was more interested in his metalwork courses, Ian meticulously followed national politics, although strangely didn't really know anything before the election of Keating in 1992, and Angus was always a quiet kid, sitting read his comics. [I never understood how such a quiet kid could end up like he did... but more on that later] So history wasn't really one of our strong points.

So yes, we were sitting there one Thursday, minding our own business, when we were approached by Helen (I won't say her last name in case she or one of her family ever read this), who was seventeen and doing work experience with an assistant to the Mayor's secretary. I didn't know all this instantly, of course. That's not the sort of information someone says when they first meet you. What she did say was "Hi Guys, I'm Helen." I still remember being captivated by her beauty and attire to this day. A french bob, waistcoat, tight-ish jeans, and cons. It was a textbook modern subversion on the outfit look we had adopted. I knew I had to get to know this girl.

End of Part One

Part Two coming soon.

Smile · 02-12-2009, 07:18 AM

Awesome, i absolutly love your story and i was really enjoying reading it. Please go on

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hampers

From that day on, we were always dressed like that. We still loitered around the library, but people didn't seem to notice as much; they assumed we were dressed up as 19th Century poets as some sort of permanent advertising campaign to encourage young people to read more. It also started to effect a change in the way we spoke. No longer would I greet Paul with "Hey, what's up?" but rather "How do you do, sir? And what news of my Lord Buckingham?"

You made a little mistake there

It should have been

Quote:

"How do you do, sir?" And "what news of my Lord Buckingham?"

Other than that, Awesome!

Trystaan · 02-12-2009, 09:19 AM

I wonder who asked the question

And good job well done

Dreamawake · 02-12-2009, 07:31 PM

I was in the chat! I think Tiger asked the question though. Anyways, thank you Hampers and please do continue. This is off to a great start. (:

Hampers · 02-12-2009, 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by videotape

You made a little mistake there

No, I'm 99% sure I got that right. I'm asking two separate questions in the same line.

But thank you everyone for your kind words. Telling non-fiction is a lot harder than fiction :\

Tiger · 02-12-2009, 08:09 PM

Haha when you said, "It's a long and mystical story," you weren't kidding!

It's a pretty good story so far. I'm glad I asked how you came up with your name!

Hampers · 02-13-2009, 06:55 AM

Part 2: The Part that comes Second

So yes, Helen had just approached our group. "Hi Guys, I'm Helen" and so forth.

"Miss Helen, your presence is as unexpected as it is delightful," said Paul. He was always the charmer of the group. He and Angus were standing, and so talked to Helen. Ian and I sat on the bench behind them, as we had but recently been playing our self-devised game, Treehouse John. I regret now that I didn't stand up, to make more of an impression. [More on that later, maybe, it's not really relevant] "Would I be correct in assuming you have predetermined motives for approaching us?"

Helen explained what the council wanted from us; some sort of interactive-y historical-y exhibit-y demonstration-y thing. Her words, not ours.

"Oh, and we'd need you to be able to do whatever it is you come up with for about six hours, so that it balances the books for the council."

"Six Hours?" I said "Miss Helen, your proposal sounds considerably unfair on our part."

"Hold your tongue in the presence of such company, Alex!" hissed Ian.

"Excuse my friend," Angus said to Helen, pulling all the charm he could mention.

"Oh, it's alright," said Helen "there are some benefits for performers. You get an unlimited pass for the rides all day, free food and drink, and 3 tickets for the raffle. Oh, and I'm planning a performers-only after-party at my place afterwards. Although I'm not organising the entertainment, it's my job to look after the entertainers, you know." All four of us would later claim that Helen looked straight at us as she said that last sentence.

Paul was the first to speak "We will of course gladly take part in the proceedings. However we will be unable to inform you as to the nature of our performance until we have been allowed some time to deliberate." Helen seemed to be keeping up to speed with our anachronistic patois, which was cool.

"That should be fine. I'll tell you what, guys, I'll put your names down, and come and see you in about a week. Let me know what you're planning then, and if there's anything you'll be needing from the council."

"Of course, gladly." Angus hadn't stopped on the charm.

"Cool." Helen flashed each of us a smile. "See you in a week, then." She gave one of those waves which is really just curling each of your fingers in succession, and then left.

We got to work straight away. Well, I say straight away. The first thing we did was place bets on who was going to kiss her first. I bet my original Iggy Pop Vinyl, Paul bet his Melodica, Angus (rather arrogantly) bet his brand new Silver-Topped Cane, and Ian (rather strangely) bet his Punch magazine collection on Angus.

And so we got to work.

End of Part 2

Sorry that not as much happened in this one. I'm trying not to exclude important information. Also, it's 1am. So I want to go to bed. I'll try and make the next one better.

Pikachu · 02-13-2009, 07:20 AM

I think I am in love...............................WITH HAMPERS

Will you be my Valentine?

Hampers · 02-13-2009, 07:45 AM

Actually, fuck that. Sleep is for the weak and the sane.

Part 3: In which our intrepid heroes stumble upon a plan

We spent about three days just constantly coming up with ideas. Some of things I remember being suggested included:

One of those caricature booth things, except instead of drawing pictures about the people who come in, we write poetry.
Running through the streets shouting the names of dead US Presidents
Following the mayor wherever he went on the day, and filming a documentary, which we would edit as we went and present at the end of the day.
Recite the local street directory in the style of Jeremy Irons
Running a slideshow of local buildings of interest, with every third picture being of us doing .

Ultimately, it was Paul who came up with what we were going to do. If I was a suspenseful writer, or was able of structuring my recounts so they read like a Christopher Nolan film, then I would leave it at that and skip to the big day, leaving you unaware of what our plan was.

But I'm not that good.

We came up with the Boudoir de la Kamikaze Couture. Here's how it would work: We set up a tent, and fill it with retro pillows, comfy chairs, and chilled-out music. However, if you want to come in, you have to be appropriately dressed. (I.e. like we did)

Now this was the clever bit. If you weren't dressed appropriately, you went to the booth next door, where we would have a selection of clothes (hopefully sponsored by Gallery Florentine or maybe just an Op Shop. You leave a $50 deposit and your regular clothes, and get an outfit that you can wear in our Boudoir. We wanted to create a space where people our age [oh yeah, you would have to be 14-20 to get in] to get together, get close, and get phone numbers [but not get freaky] in a very traditional way (I.e. when you're not supposed to). It was going to be so cool.

We got Ian to write up a list of the things we'd need. Paul and Angus would talk to the council [I.e. Helen. Guess whose decision that was?], and I would approach Gallery Florentine about getting a lot of clothes available.

It was pretty clear that we were all planning this event along the same lines for the same purpose: We all wanted an opportunity to get intimate with Helen. To be fair, we were all teenage males. And let's be honest, she was gorgeous.

The thing that I liked about Helen, is that she had [and well, I guess still has] a lot of confidence, a lot of humour, and a willingness to go with whatever ridiculous has been presented, provided it's presented in the right humourous.

Oh, and she likes Beck. Which is just the cherry on the top.

End of Part Three

Hampers · 02-13-2009, 07:48 AM

You wrote that before I posted.

But yes, yes I will be your Valentine.

Pikachu · 02-13-2009, 07:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hampers

You wrote that before I posted.

But yes, yes I will be your Valentine.

Yaysies

<3<3<3

Where are the roses :P

Hampers · 02-13-2009, 07:59 AM

I couldn't get any roses. But here's some quite beautiful kangaroo paw for you.

Smile · 02-13-2009, 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hampers

No, I'm 99% sure I got that right. I'm asking two separate questions in the same line.

But thank you everyone for your kind words. Telling non-fiction is a lot harder than fiction :\

Ohhhhhh, i little mistake

It just depends how you read it, reminds me of one of those 3D pics where you see it one way, and you can only see it that way, but then you see it the other way too

Oh, and awesome parts... i fear you may be insane and have serious mental problems, but meh, i like the sound of your life

[there should be a thumbs up sign, would look better than a smily face, oh well, use ur imagination]

Pikachu · 02-13-2009, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hampers

I couldn't get any roses. But here's some quite beautiful kangaroo paw for you.

Sniff there beautiful <3...

Yeah the stupid store was out of roses so I got you one of these

http://daisyshop.com/adminnew/pics_p...423B015105.jpg

I hope its your size

Yes I am the guy in this relationship

Tiger · 02-13-2009, 06:13 PM

I'm starting to get the feeling that this has nothing to do with getting your name. If it does, you are the only one that I know that can make a simple "how did you get your name" into a book!

02-11-2009, 07:01 PM	#1
Hampers Kiss Kiss FIRE! Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Suitcase Posts: 1,798 Blog Entries: 24	'Hampers': A Saga I was recently asked in the chat to tell the story of why I chose the name 'Hampers' for myself. I signed up on a whim in March 2007 [Incidentally, it was as an attempt to question the authenticity of someone's claim of having written a dare. I had been a user of the other dare site where this user had taken the dare from and so was able to say that their version of events wasn't correct] I had been a lurker for about six months, and a keen truth or dare player for a few years before that, and it seemed like a reasonable thing to do. So I signed up and had to choose a username. It was then that I remembered the 'Hampers' episode of my life from the previous year. It's a long and complicated story, so it's going to stretch out a bit, but here it is. It was a few years ago, so as far as I can tell this is all correct. Part 1: The First Part When I started high school, I didn't really know many people, and so I quickly became friends with Paul, Ian and Angus from the year above. They always pretended to hate each other, but really they were good friends. Angus was always the sort of outsider, so me joining their little group balanced things out a bit. Paul was our leader, because he was the tallest. We used to hang out outside the local library, because it had the comfiest benches. Every afternoon the four of us would go there and sit around for a few hours. We started out just talking, but after a while we noticed that there was fun to be had with the shops across the road. We started with the newsagents, where we would hide money in packets of gum when the sales assistant wasn't looking, and then come in again and buy those packets of gum, and tear open the gum to pay for the gum. Wild stuff. We also went to the pet shop. We would ask if they wanted shredded paper for their puppies to live in. We spent about a week buying newspapers from the newsagents, and then sitting on the pet shop floor, ripping them up by hand. Each day, once we'd made a huge mess, we'd just leave it on the floor and run away. The third shop we visited was the Gallery Florentine, which had lots of corsets and Victoriania sort of clothes. We went in, and were generally surprised at the elegance of the wares on offer. We all had a bit of money, so we bought an outfit each. I distinctly remember my first one was a frock coat, cravat, green waistcoat, and a top hat. The looks we got were phenomenal, walking round together. Especially once we got the silver-handled canes to match. Sadly, the newsagent joke stopped working once we were all dressed up. From that day on, we were always dressed like that. We still loitered around the library, but people didn't seem to notice as much; they assumed we were dressed up as 19th Century poets as some sort of permanent advertising campaign to encourage young people to read more. It also started to effect a change in the way we spoke. No longer would I greet Paul with "Hey, what's up?" but rather "How do you do, sir? And what news of my Lord Buckingham?" This was about a year after we'd first started hanging out around the library, [Paul, Ian, and Angus were 16 at this point. I was 15.] so people hadn't really noticed such a gradual change. And neither had we, really. Until one day the organising committee for the bi-annual town square festival approached us one Thursday afternoon and asked if we'd be interested in performing in some way for it. [I say bi-annual, I'm not sure if there's a better word for it. It used to happen every year, until the council invested a lot of money in .com shares at the end of the 90s. After that economic bubble burst, a lot of figurative belts had to be tightened in the council treasury, and it was decided that a festival every year was a bit excessive]. It was the sesqui-centenary of our suburb officially existing, so the council were planning a big history theme for the festival that year, and had started combing the streets for things that looked historical. We were one of them. We actually had little interest in, or knowledge of history at that point, local or otherwise. My father was a lecturer in Arab-Israeli history, with a specialty in the period from 1948-1982 (The foundation of Israel [also known as al-naqba (spelling?) to the Palestinians] to the invasion of Lebanon, as I'm sure you're all aware), and that was about as close to real history as I had become. Paul was more interested in his metalwork courses, Ian meticulously followed national politics, although strangely didn't really know anything before the election of Keating in 1992, and Angus was always a quiet kid, sitting read his comics. [I never understood how such a quiet kid could end up like he did... but more on that later] So history wasn't really one of our strong points. So yes, we were sitting there one Thursday, minding our own business, when we were approached by Helen (I won't say her last name in case she or one of her family ever read this), who was seventeen and doing work experience with an assistant to the Mayor's secretary. I didn't know all this instantly, of course. That's not the sort of information someone says when they first meet you. What she did say was "Hi Guys, I'm Helen." I still remember being captivated by her beauty and attire to this day. A french bob, waistcoat, tight-ish jeans, and cons. It was a textbook modern subversion on the outfit look we had adopted. I knew I had to get to know this girl. End of Part One Part Two coming soon. __________________ ...Tubas in the Moonlight... Last edited by Hampers; 02-11-2009 at 07:09 PM.

02-12-2009, 09:19 AM	#3
Trystaan getDare Succubus Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 1,536 Blog Entries: 17	I wonder who asked the question And good job well done __________________

02-12-2009, 07:31 PM	#4
Dreamawake Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: United States Posts: 72 Blog Entries: 1	I was in the chat! I think Tiger asked the question though. Anyways, thank you Hampers and please do continue. This is off to a great start. (: __________________ The only unreachable dream is the one you don't reach for. I love me some AMELIE! (:

02-13-2009, 06:55 AM	#7
Hampers Kiss Kiss FIRE! Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Suitcase Posts: 1,798 Blog Entries: 24	Part 2: The Part that comes Second So yes, Helen had just approached our group. "Hi Guys, I'm Helen" and so forth. "Miss Helen, your presence is as unexpected as it is delightful," said Paul. He was always the charmer of the group. He and Angus were standing, and so talked to Helen. Ian and I sat on the bench behind them, as we had but recently been playing our self-devised game, Treehouse John. I regret now that I didn't stand up, to make more of an impression. [More on that later, maybe, it's not really relevant] "Would I be correct in assuming you have predetermined motives for approaching us?" Helen explained what the council wanted from us; some sort of interactive-y historical-y exhibit-y demonstration-y thing. Her words, not ours. "Oh, and we'd need you to be able to do whatever it is you come up with for about six hours, so that it balances the books for the council." "Six Hours?" I said "Miss Helen, your proposal sounds considerably unfair on our part." "Hold your tongue in the presence of such company, Alex!" hissed Ian. "Excuse my friend," Angus said to Helen, pulling all the charm he could mention. "Oh, it's alright," said Helen "there are some benefits for performers. You get an unlimited pass for the rides all day, free food and drink, and 3 tickets for the raffle. Oh, and I'm planning a performers-only after-party at my place afterwards. Although I'm not organising the entertainment, it's my job to look after the entertainers, you know." All four of us would later claim that Helen looked straight at us as she said that last sentence. Paul was the first to speak "We will of course gladly take part in the proceedings. However we will be unable to inform you as to the nature of our performance until we have been allowed some time to deliberate." Helen seemed to be keeping up to speed with our anachronistic patois, which was cool. "That should be fine. I'll tell you what, guys, I'll put your names down, and come and see you in about a week. Let me know what you're planning then, and if there's anything you'll be needing from the council." "Of course, gladly." Angus hadn't stopped on the charm. "Cool." Helen flashed each of us a smile. "See you in a week, then." She gave one of those waves which is really just curling each of your fingers in succession, and then left. We got to work straight away. Well, I say straight away. The first thing we did was place bets on who was going to kiss her first. I bet my original Iggy Pop Vinyl, Paul bet his Melodica, Angus (rather arrogantly) bet his brand new Silver-Topped Cane, and Ian (rather strangely) bet his Punch magazine collection on Angus. And so we got to work. End of Part 2 Sorry that not as much happened in this one. I'm trying not to exclude important information. Also, it's 1am. So I want to go to bed. I'll try and make the next one better. __________________ ...Tubas in the Moonlight... Last edited by Hampers; 02-18-2009 at 06:45 AM.

02-13-2009, 07:20 AM	#8
Pikachu Distinguished Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Australia Posts: 897 Blog Entries: 4	I think I am in love...............................WITH HAMPERS Will you be my Valentine? __________________

02-12-2009, 08:09 PM	#6
Tiger Distinguished Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Walla Walla Land Posts: 624 Blog Entries: 18	Haha when you said, "It's a long and mystical story," you weren't kidding! It's a pretty good story so far. I'm glad I asked how you came up with your name!

02-13-2009, 07:45 AM	#9
Hampers Kiss Kiss FIRE! Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Suitcase Posts: 1,798 Blog Entries: 24	Actually, fuck that. Sleep is for the weak and the sane. Part 3: In which our intrepid heroes stumble upon a plan We spent about three days just constantly coming up with ideas. Some of things I remember being suggested included: One of those caricature booth things, except instead of drawing pictures about the people who come in, we write poetry. Running through the streets shouting the names of dead US Presidents Following the mayor wherever he went on the day, and filming a documentary, which we would edit as we went and present at the end of the day. Recite the local street directory in the style of Jeremy Irons Running a slideshow of local buildings of interest, with every third picture being of us doing . Ultimately, it was Paul who came up with what we were going to do. If I was a suspenseful writer, or was able of structuring my recounts so they read like a Christopher Nolan film, then I would leave it at that and skip to the big day, leaving you unaware of what our plan was. But I'm not that good. We came up with the Boudoir de la Kamikaze Couture. Here's how it would work: We set up a tent, and fill it with retro pillows, comfy chairs, and chilled-out music. However, if you want to come in, you have to be appropriately dressed. (I.e. like we did) Now this was the clever bit. If you weren't dressed appropriately, you went to the booth next door, where we would have a selection of clothes (hopefully sponsored by Gallery Florentine or maybe just an Op Shop. You leave a $50 deposit and your regular clothes, and get an outfit that you can wear in our Boudoir. We wanted to create a space where people our age [oh yeah, you would have to be 14-20 to get in] to get together, get close, and get phone numbers [but not get freaky] in a very traditional way (I.e. when you're not supposed to). It was going to be so cool. We got Ian to write up a list of the things we'd need. Paul and Angus would talk to the council [I.e. Helen. Guess whose decision that was?], and I would approach Gallery Florentine about getting a lot of clothes available. It was pretty clear that we were all planning this event along the same lines for the same purpose: We all wanted an opportunity to get intimate with Helen. To be fair, we were all teenage males. And let's be honest, she was gorgeous. The thing that I liked about Helen, is that she had [and well, I guess still has] a lot of confidence, a lot of humour, and a willingness to go with whatever ridiculous has been presented, provided it's presented in the right humourous. Oh, and she likes Beck. Which is just the cherry on the top. End of Part Three __________________ ...Tubas in the Moonlight... Last edited by Hampers; 02-13-2009 at 08:00 AM.

02-13-2009, 07:48 AM	#10
Hampers Kiss Kiss FIRE! Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Suitcase Posts: 1,798 Blog Entries: 24	You wrote that before I posted. But yes, yes I will be your Valentine. __________________ ...Tubas in the Moonlight...

02-13-2009, 07:59 AM	#12
Hampers Kiss Kiss FIRE! Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Suitcase Posts: 1,798 Blog Entries: 24	I couldn't get any roses. But here's some quite beautiful kangaroo paw for you. __________________ ...Tubas in the Moonlight...

02-13-2009, 06:13 PM	#15
Tiger Distinguished Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Walla Walla Land Posts: 624 Blog Entries: 18	What does this have to do with a name? I'm starting to get the feeling that this has nothing to do with getting your name. If it does, you are the only one that I know that can make a simple "how did you get your name" into a book!