a harmless game of t or d - Page 2

admireu4ever · 11-06-2007, 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by analwhore1987

And I feel that those who must criticize and completely re-write others stories should at least make sure that they !

Well, when I rewrite a story I make it so you can understand it. I once said that I am not the best when it comes to spelling. If you can read it and it looks like it's not computer slang. You should be fine...kk? lolz...ths so much funzzz..oh brb..

Coyote · 11-07-2007, 04:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by USASlaveGurl

calm down tess lol

But i have to say he's right. Grammar/spelling errors are very annoying. It's not that hard to use Microsoft Word, which has a spell-check

whos Tess and i agree with you admireu4ever

analwhore1987 · 11-07-2007, 05:00 PM

Tess is admireu4ever...

Coyote · 11-08-2007, 01:45 PM

Ok I was getting tired of co....... nevermind

analwhore1987 · 11-08-2007, 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by admireu4ever

Well, when I rewrite a story I make it so you can understand it. I once said that I am not the best when it comes to spelling. If you can read it and it looks like it's not computer slang. You should be fine...kk? lolz...ths so much funzzz..oh brb..

my point is.. you changed her story.. quite a bit.. therefore it just sounds like you stole her story and editted to your liking..

Sum · 11-08-2007, 04:46 PM

yeah that's kinda how i felt when i read it. Would have been a lot better to try to keep as much of the original wording as possible and just cleaned up the spelling and grammar. I've written a version doing this and pm'd it to her for her approval, though i wouldn't be surprised if after this she doesn't feel confident to post anything else. Or at the least have anything to do with the stories section.

analwhore1987 · 11-08-2007, 05:21 PM

well as u mite know im jess 14 yo.
ok i was over my friends house,lili, and we started to play t or d.it was just little stuff but then she dared me to walk down the street in my underwear so i did. then i dared her to go to the local shop in her underwear so she did, she was angry though cus her nabour saw her from there car driving past so she dared me to strip naked and go into her nabours pool and do three lengths, and i did, dont thing i was seen but when i jumped back over the fence and went into the house i found that she had locked me out. i staied out there for a while but she wouldn't let me in, after a while she shouted out of her bedroom window that she had unlocked the door. so i went to go in but it was still locked. i shouted up and she said that she ment the front door! so i slowley went down the side alley and into yhe front yard. i saw a car drive past thoug so i ran into a bush. but after that i wen back in and shouted at lili. she said that she was sorry and that i could give her a hanging wedgie in the woods that night in only her underwear. until they ripped. so happy days, lol. then she put on a robe and we went home to bed.

My name is Jessica, my friends know me as Jess. I was over my friend Lili's house for a sleepover. We started to play a harmless game of Truth or Dare. We dared each other to do simple things, harmless things. Lili then dared me to walk down the street in my underwear. I walked down the street in my underwear. (this is awkward because it is so repetitive!) When I came back I wanted revenge on her the dare. So I dared her to go to a local shop in her underwear. She was angry at me because her neighbor saw her when he was driving to the store. Lili got very angry after that. So when we got back to her house she had dared me to take off all my clothes and do three laps in her neighbors pool. I hopped over the fence and jumped in the pool. I left my clothes at the house so the wouldn't get wet. I don't think anybody saw me, but when I jumped back over the fence and attempted to get inside (incomplete sentence, this should have a comma instead of a period - which would have turned it into an insanely long run on). I had found that she had locked me out, I stayed out there naked for awhile and she would not let me in. (this is a run on - there should have been a period back there instead of a comma) An hour afterwords she shouted out of her bedroom window "Hey, I unlocked the door." I was so happy I went to open the back door and it was still locked. I shouted up "The door is still locked!" she looked at me and smiled. "The frontdoor!" I put a grim look on my face. I got into the front yard. (I personally, preferred her description here beacuse it was just that - more descriptive - telling how she went through the alley) I thought I was in the clear but then a car came passed. I jumped into the bushes and it hurt like hell. I got out and went inside. I screamed at Lili (you changed shouted to screamed) for her actions, "I'm sorry how about you hang on my on a tree with nothing but my underwear..so like a wedgie." I agreed and I stripped her and put her on a tree. She was there for awhile untill her underwear ripped. She fell down naked and walked back to the house. We were equal...for now.

blue parts are what were alike/very similar.. purple is my commentary & red is your grammatical errors

it would have been one thing to go in and capitalize words and fix it to 'proper' grammar - but you changed her story quite a bit!

//ends my 'picking' on admireu4ever/tessdog or whatever it is that you wish to be called

Dice7 · 11-08-2007, 05:34 PM

I don't mind the spelling mistakes etc but if there's no detail whats the point in reading it? WHY are these things happening, what are the reactions to them happening, how did they look, what did the main character think of this etc etc etc

dare1230 · 11-09-2007, 04:32 PM

ok people calm down, il watch my spelling and grammer from now on

admireu4ever · 11-09-2007, 10:29 PM

Well,

If you read the rules spelling is a new one. So I guess my work here is done.

"All in days work.."

-Tessdog

11-07-2007, 05:00 PM	#18
analwhore1987 Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: United States Posts: 67 Blog Entries: 1	Tess is admireu4ever... __________________ AnalWhore Likes: Ice, Double Penetration (Anal & Vaginal, not double anal or double vaginal), Light to Mild Pain, Anal (preferred) Limits: Pee, Poo, Heavy Pain, Public, Family, Friends, Food, Orgasm Denial, Messy, Panties (I don't own any - I won't buy any for a dare), Shaving (I'm already shaved - that won't change!) I can post pics of objects used but I will NOT* post pictures of me.* I will NOT hand out any of my messnger names! So I dare you NOT to ask me

11-08-2007, 01:45 PM	#19
Coyote getDare Addict Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: USA Posts: 2,110 Blog Entries: 14	Ok I was getting tired of co....... nevermind __________________ Loves:Crossdressing,Light-Medium Bondage, Spanking, Humiliation,Dice Dares Likes:Wedgies,Cock Torture, Light-Medium Pain, Nudity Dislikes(Will do if have to):,Shaving(not eyebrows), Extreme Cold, Over 30 minutes(or so) Limits:Public,Involving Other People, Illegal, Pee/Poop, High Risk of Getting Caught,Extreme Pain,Anal,Messy/Water,(Backyard might be ok), Masturbation 24/M/USA http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=32347 AFTER HOURS!!(GOOD READING)

11-08-2007, 04:46 PM	#21
Sum getDare Devil Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 1,049 Blog Entries: 9	yeah that's kinda how i felt when i read it. Would have been a lot better to try to keep as much of the original wording as possible and just cleaned up the spelling and grammar. I've written a version doing this and pm'd it to her for her approval, though i wouldn't be surprised if after this she doesn't feel confident to post anything else. Or at the least have anything to do with the stories section. __________________ Through the darkness of futures past The magician longs to see One chants out between two worlds Fire walk with me I'm off to kinktalk. Bye all.

11-08-2007, 05:21 PM	#22
analwhore1987 Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: United States Posts: 67 Blog Entries: 1	well as u mite know im jess 14 yo. ok i was over my friends house,lili, and we started to play t or d.it was just little stuff but then she dared me to walk down the street in my underwear so i did. then i dared her to go to the local shop in her underwear so she did, she was angry though cus her nabour saw her from there car driving past so she dared me to strip naked and go into her nabours pool and do three lengths, and i did, dont thing i was seen but when i jumped back over the fence and went into the house i found that she had locked me out. i staied out there for a while but she wouldn't let me in, after a while she shouted out of her bedroom window that she had unlocked the door. so i went to go in but it was still locked. i shouted up and she said that she ment the front door! so i slowley went down the side alley and into yhe front yard. i saw a car drive past thoug so i ran into a bush. but after that i wen back in and shouted at lili. she said that she was sorry and that i could give her a hanging wedgie in the woods that night in only her underwear. until they ripped. so happy days, lol. then she put on a robe and we went home to bed. My name is Jessica, my friends know me as Jess. I was over my friend Lili's house for a sleepover. We started to play a harmless game of Truth or Dare. We dared each other to do simple things, harmless things. Lili then dared me to walk down the street in my underwear. I walked down the street in my underwear. (this is awkward because it is so repetitive!) When I came back I wanted revenge on her the dare. So I dared her to go to a local shop in her underwear. She was angry at me because her neighbor saw her when he was driving to the store. Lili got very angry after that. So when we got back to her house she had dared me to take off all my clothes and do three laps in her neighbors pool. I hopped over the fence and jumped in the pool. I left my clothes at the house so the wouldn't get wet. I don't think anybody saw me, but when I jumped back over the fence and attempted to get inside (incomplete sentence, this should have a comma instead of a period - which would have turned it into an insanely long run on). I had found that she had locked me out, I stayed out there naked for awhile and she would not let me in. (this is a run on - there should have been a period back there instead of a comma) An hour afterwords she shouted out of her bedroom window "Hey, I unlocked the door." I was so happy I went to open the back door and it was still locked. I shouted up "The door is still locked!" she looked at me and smiled. "The frontdoor!" I put a grim look on my face. I got into the front yard. (I personally, preferred her description here beacuse it was just that - more descriptive - telling how she went through the alley) I thought I was in the clear but then a car came passed. I jumped into the bushes and it hurt like hell. I got out and went inside. I screamed at Lili (you changed shouted to screamed) for her actions, "I'm sorry how about you hang on my on a tree with nothing but my underwear..so like a wedgie." I agreed and I stripped her and put her on a tree. She was there for awhile untill her underwear ripped. She fell down naked and walked back to the house. We were equal...for now. blue parts are what were alike/very similar.. purple is my commentary & red is your grammatical errors it would have been one thing to go in and capitalize words and fix it to 'proper' grammar - but you changed her story quite a bit! //ends my 'picking' on admireu4ever/tessdog or whatever it is that you wish to be called __________________ AnalWhore Likes: Ice, Double Penetration (Anal & Vaginal, not double anal or double vaginal), Light to Mild Pain, Anal (preferred) Limits: Pee, Poo, Heavy Pain, Public, Family, Friends, Food, Orgasm Denial, Messy, Panties (I don't own any - I won't buy any for a dare), Shaving (I'm already shaved - that won't change!) I can post pics of objects used but I will NOT* post pictures of me.* I will NOT hand out any of my messnger names! So I dare you NOT to ask me

11-08-2007, 05:34 PM	#23
Dice7 getDare Addict Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: London/Spain Posts: 2,425 Blog Entries: 5	I don't mind the spelling mistakes etc but if there's no detail whats the point in reading it? WHY are these things happening, what are the reactions to them happening, how did they look, what did the main character think of this etc etc etc

11-09-2007, 04:32 PM	#24
dare1230 Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 12	ok people calm down, il watch my spelling and grammer from now on

11-09-2007, 10:29 PM	#25
admireu4ever Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 152 Blog Entries: 1	Well, If you read the rules spelling is a new one. So I guess my work here is done. "All in days work.." -Tessdog