The aftermath of S/M plays online.

[Kinkyguy2001]

Hello, I am really new in sub Dom play and actually started accepting my sexuality as queer person, (maybe bi) very recently. I am closest still due to the fact that I am shit scared about my safety and basic human rights to be met I guess.
I have joined some groups of sub Dom play and and also connected with a very sweet Dom (both are different and the Dom knows about the group).

I have in past done some play but it ended up me chickening out, they leaving or getting so frustrated with both the fair shares subs and Doms. To sum up overall negative and growth restricting online sex experience.

I am into Sub Dom play and it is cute that I started accepting my sexuality too but it is a long way to go.

I just wanted you all to say having a positive after play experience an essential part of Sub/Dom play. The experiences of Sub drop can be normal and varied for all.

Today my Dom actually apologized to me after realizing I got negative reaction from the play even though I insisted for the play and stuff. He apologized for not being able to give me aftercare just at instant after play.

He then talked to me about my positive experience and praised me too. Even in the group I am in I confessed about negative experience and got positive responses from both Doms and subs.
I have never got positive reaction and people actually show love and affection and It actually helped me vent out so good. I cried for hours while chatting and telling them my situation.

Please remember even if we are in a dark place right now it is not because we are masochists or sadists, queer or homosexual, transgender or non binary, intersex (etc), it is because the society is fucked up. Please try to connect with good people.

Also, I want a favor. Please tell me a way to help my Dom too in a way he did for me. I need creative suggestions for aftercare for Doms.

Thanks and have a good day.

[m55uk4younger]

Follow your cock and let your kinky mind take over.
You only live once so enjoy it fully!

[Kinkyguy2001]

TW: Paraphilias, Mental health disorders, Mental distress.
Well well, I guess that could be for sometimes but we all are human not robots. Highs and Lows are part of life and living with maintaining a balance in social, emotional, physical and financial and mental aspects of life (holistic balance) is a good thing.
Sexual pleasure are just baseline. We have our self fulfilment needs, self esteem needs, safety and belongingness needs to be fulfilled as well. (Check out Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs please.)
Being horny, kink and BDSM are even therapeutic for some people by scientific researches does not mean we make it just a constant center of our life till the point it ruins our social, emotional and physical health.
The would be by DSM-5 would be said as significant distress and be considered as Paraphilia. (Please I do not intend to make any form of diagnosis here)

P.S: A trained mental heath professional can only diagnose, seek help if you in doubt. I am not trained mental health professional. I do not support self diagnoses of any form. Paraphilias are considered as Mental health disorder if they cause significant distress and prevail for a certain period of time. (E.g. 6 months or more.)

[Kinkyguy2001]

Also your profile pic describe it really well, being submissive does not mean you are week and giving our control to someone is a powerful thing. We can also take that control that we entrusted to someone if boundaries break or we feel distressed. There might be difference in receiving pain and cry for Dom's and getting abused that could rather leave psychological scars.
BDSM is to heal us in one thought of school from something that may happen in past. Also there is no scientific evidence that people who like BDSM have more abuses and trauma than others. Our way of coping is different.

[soumisseau]

Hi, nice post.

Out of curiosity, where did you find those groups you're mentionning ?