[Fiction] Britain's Most Daring

[alli55]

Hi, just wanted to say the level of effort/ detail you've put into this story is fantastic!

Really enjoying reading it and great to find something so different from pretty much everything else posted on this site- thanks for writing it!

Thanks, Jacques. I kind of like the fact the I'm rebelling a little against the standard sexually-explicit stories that dominate on here. It's a bit like being naughty for not being naughty, if you see what I mean!

[alli55]

The closeness of the scores, and the resulting uncertainty about Gemma’s fate, is making for some tense viewing in our living room this week! With only 5 daredevils left, I suppose we have to expect it, and I reckon, so long as Gemma remains on the show, we are going to find it harder and harder to simply enjoy it for what it usually is: a madcap romp through life’s crazier situations. As a result, part of me is beginning to wonder if it wouldn’t be better if Gemma left sooner rather than later.

Obviously, I daren’t mention that: Lissie would disown me, instantly!

“Hello! Welcome back!” Trixie says.

“It’s tight, it’s tense, and it’s bordering on sexual assault!” remarks Joe.

“It’s the Great British Kiss-Chase on Britain’s Most Daring!” Trixie clarifies.

“Here’s the next set of evidence for the prosecution!” Joe quips, by way of introducing the next filmed segment.

“I canna remember the last time I got up this early!” Gemma tells Mairie, as the two of them come out of the female changing room at the Leisure Centre, Gemma in a swimsuit and Mairie fully-clothed. “Who goes swimming at seven o’clock in the morning?”

The counter in the corner of the screen is showing 15, as Gemma carefully lowers herself into the pool and goes in search of someone to kiss underwater. She can’t afford to be picky, since there are only half-a-dozen people there, and they all look to be over 60! She approaches a kindly- looking man, who smiles and nods when he hears what she has to say; the two of them take a deep breath and duck under the water, where, through the rippling surface, we see her give him a quick peck on the cheek. The counter moves to 16, and they resurface, Gemma spluttering and gasping for breath …

… Has Matt’s pursuit of Bolton’s young female inhabitants finally landed him in trouble? At first glance, it appears so, as we can see him, some distance from us, being talked to by a police officer! As the camera zooms in, however, we see that it’s a female police officer; in fact, a young female police officer; and, far from telling him off, she’s giggling and blushing! Matt’s charm offensive obviously works, because she nods and turns her head slightly, allowing him to kiss her on the cheek, and the counter to move from 18 to 19. Then, to Matt’s surprise, she slaps a pair of handcuffs on him, and snaps a selfie with him cuffed! She gives him a return kiss on the cheek and releases him, her face displaying her delight at the unusual arrest she’s just made! …

… Emphasising how she’s struggling this week, the counter drops back to 12 as we see Jaz and Richie walking through the gates of a primary school, accompanied by Jaz’s sister, Nicki, who teaches there. They enter the staffroom, and Nicki explains what Jaz is hoping for.

“She needs to give one of you a kiss in front of your class,” she explains to her colleagues, “so, who’s up for it?” All eyes turn to the solitary male teacher. “Arron, how about you?” Nicki suggests. “I’m sure your class would love it!”

“I’m sure they would!” he remarks.

“Well …?”

“Yeah, I don’t mind!” he says. “How are we going to do it? I mean, is she, …, sorry I don’t know your name, …”

“Jaz!” she tells him.

“Is Jaz going to just sort of come in unannounced? Or do we make it part of a lesson, somehow? Maybe, exploring different ways of greeting people, leading into different customs? Something like that?”

Clearly, that’s what they decide to do, as he introduces Jaz to his Year 6 class and asks what they might do by way of greeting her. He and Jaz respond, accordingly, to each of the suggestions offered by the children: they shake hands; they bow their heads, with hands clasped in front of them; they high-five each other; and they kiss each other on the cheek, causing the counter to change to 14, with Jaz earning her bonus point for getting her kiss in front of the teacher’s class. They even rub noses, after one well-informed boy tells them about the Inuit way of greeting people!

“Let’s give Jaz a round of applause for coming in and helping us out!” Arron encourages his class, who respond willingly …

… “A woman with a baby,” Mairie reads from the phone, “and a bonus point for kissing the baby as well.”

“Okay, let’s go!” replies Gemma, with the counter in the corning showing 18.

Who knows how long it took to find her latest target, but she’s managed it! A young mum, with a contented-looking baby resting against her chest in a baby carrier, is smiling, as she listens to Gemma’s request for a kiss. She looks at the camera, as if to check that Gemma is for real, and then turns back to Gemma and nods her head. Gemma smiles, and gives the woman a quick peck on the cheek. The counter ticks over to 19, and then goes to 20 when Gemma gives the baby a kiss on the top of its head. The baby tries to look up and behind, to see what’s going on, but the carrier prevents its head from turning far enough.

Now on her own, Gemma comes up close to the camera and says, “He was a little darlin’, wasn’t he?!” …

… The counter drops to 15, and we see Dylan, surrounded by a large group of imposing women dressed in rugby shirts and shorts. As he starts to kiss each of them, and the counter changes to 16, we hear Lowri tell us, “Dylan’s found the Swansea Uni Women’s Rugby team, and I think he might have bitten off more than he can chew!”

He certainly has! When he reaches the last two team members, one of them grabs hold of his legs, leans against his waist, and hoists him over her shoulder, in a kind of fireman’s lift. Realising he is outnumbered, and that they’re probably stronger than he is, he puts up no resistance, allowing her to spin round with him helplessly hanging down her back. Amid a lot of cheering and laughing from her team-mates, she staggers off, out of shot, with him still over her shoulder.

When we catch up with him, he’s draped over a scrum machine! “I’m never playing rugby!” he vows …

… “Excuse me,” Jaz asks the police man, “d’you think I could just give you a kiss on the cheek? It’s for a TV show!”

“You can,” he tells her, “on one condition!”

“What’s that?”

“You have to make sure you end up as Britain’s Most Daring champion!”

“I’ll try!” she promises, and reaches up to give him the kiss, as the counter clicks from 14 to 15.

“Good luck!” he says. “I’ll be watching and cheering you on!” …

… Eilidh’s counter begins on 14, but ticks quickly through 15 and 16 to reach 17, as we see short clips of her kissing a builder in a hard-hat, a young female swimmer, and a mother and baby, who gurgles happily when Eilidh gives him a sloppy kiss on his forehead …

… The class of schoolchildren look round, surprised by the sudden interruption to their lesson. With the counter showing 20, Gemma strides past the kids, who are looking amused and bemused in equal measure, and straight to the front of the class. The man in typical teacher clothes, slightly-worn jacket and trousers, who is holding a book that he may well have been reading from, senses something is amiss in his lesson. He looks up, and registers his surprise at seeing Gemma bearing down on him.

“Hello, Mr Warren, I’ve come to say thank-you for being such a good teacher!” she tells him, and walks up to him and kisses him on the cheek. His startled expression causes Gemma to giggle, and that sets off the class.

Back outside, with the counter now showing 21, Gemma tells us, “That was really weird! But he’s a really good teacher! I used to love the way he made a book come alive! I really liked him!” …

“I told you it was funny!” Lissie reminds us. “It was the look on his face!”

“It was good!” Maddie acknowledges. “And she’s right, he is a good teacher!”

“Yeah! I like him!” agrees Rayna.

… In the corner of the screen, the counter changes to 16.

Having recovered from his ordeal at the hands of the rugby girls, Dylan asks Lowri, “What’s the next one?”

“A police officer,” she tells him.

“No! Skip!” he instructs.

“Why? Is there something you’re not telling us?

“No,” he insists, “it’s just, you can never find one when you want one!”

She sniggers, and then informs him, “Alright, then, in that case, it’s someone in front of a live audience; bonus point for the biggest audience.”

Lost in thought, he looks in her direction. “What d’you reckon?” he asks her.

“You should definitely do it!” she urges.

“Oh, I’m going to do it,” he assures her, “I’m just thinking how! Are Swansea or Cardiff playing tonight?”

“Don’t know!” she answers. “But, you can go bigger than that!”

“Really? How?”

“I know someone who can help!” Her face lights up as she dwells on the idea she’s had. “Oh, this is going to be epic!” …

… Matt has a very mischievous smile! His counter shows 19, and just below it, on the other side of the road from Matt, we can see a wedding party gathered outside the registry office.

“Right, here goes!” Matt says, before turning and heading across the road, as we follow. We have a horrible feeling that this particular bride is going to have her big day drastically altered very soon! “Congratulations!” he says to her, shaking her hand. “Where’s your Mum?”

Taken completely by surprise, she dutifully points out her mother. “There!” she tells Matt, pointing to a lady in a blue skirt-suit and matching pill-box hat.

Matt steps over to the bride’s mother and plants a kiss on her cheek; the counter changes to 20.

“Wha-aat?!?” she cries.

“That’s for the proud mum,” he tells her, “on her beautiful daughter’s special day! Have a good one!” With that, he scuttles off, before there are any repercussions!

“What just happened?” the bewildered bride says. Well may she ask! …

… Dylan, Lowri and a young woman are in a room that looks suspiciously like it could be a TV studio. This is confirmed by what Lowri tells us, in a hushed voice.

“We’ve come to Bristol, to the BBC studios,” she explains, “where we’ve got ourselves into the Points West studio, thanks to Nats, here!” The young woman acknowledges her mention with a smile. “They’re coming towards the end of this evening’s show,” Lowri continues, “and we’re going to give them a big finish! One they’re not expecting!”

The camera moves so that, behind Dylan and company, we can see the Points West set, from where David Garmston and Alex Lovell are presenting the show, live on BBC1 in the West Country. Little do they know it, but they’re going to be featuring in a very different show, as well, this week!

Nats is keeping an eye on where the presenters are have got to in the show’s running order, and she gives Lowri a nod.

“Okay, go!” Lowri urges Dylan, giving him a nudge. We watch him start towards the two presenters, and then we switch shots. A caption appears at the bottom of the screen, ‘courtesy of BBC TV Points West’, telling us that we are now watching what was broadcast across the West Country yesterday evening.

“Hi there, Alex!” Dylan says, appearing in shot. “Love the show!” he adds, as he squeezes onto the semi-circular sofa, next to the surprised presenter. Once he’s seated, he kisses her cheek, and tells her, “You’re my favourite newsreader, you know!”

As the counter changes to 18 and her co-presenter smirks next to her, poor Alex asks, “What’s going on?”

“We’ve just popped in to say ‘hello’ from everyone on Britain’s Most Daring!” Lowri informs her, as she plops herself down next to David Garmston. “Hi, Dave!” she adds, giving him a peck on the cheek.

“Oh-kaay!” Alex says, slowly, trying to maintain her professionalism, “I’m guessing there’s a story behind all this!”

“No, not really!” Lowri replies. “We just thought your show needed livening up a bit! Isn’t that right, Dave?” She puts her arm around his back and pulls him towards her. His smirk changes to a look of alarm.

Alex is beginning to relax a bit, realising she’s probably got off lightly, compared to her co-presenter! “Well, this is certainly an unusual turn of events,” she states, to camera. She pauses briefly, seemingly uncertain how to continue; giving a subtle nod of her head, she turns to Dylan, asking, “So, is this part of your latest dare?”

He looks across at Lowri, as if seeking her permission to answer, and she nods. “Yeah,” he tells Alex, “I’m trying to get a kiss in front of the biggest live audience I can!”

“Oh, right!” she smiles. “So, what made you think of us here at Points West?”

“It was Lowri’s idea!” he explains.

“Oh?” she turns to Lowri. “How’s that?”

“I just wanted to come and get acquainted with Dave, here!” Lowri teases. He squirms, as if he’s just been touched, inappropriately, by his troublesome companion; she giggles at his awkwardness.

“Well, it’s been lovely to have you drop in to see us,” Alex says, preparing to end the show, “hasn’t it?” She looks at her co-presenter, expectantly.

“Er, yes! Wonderful!” he says, unconvincingly. “That’s all we have time for, so do have a good weekend, and we’ll be back with you on Monday! On our own, hopefully!”

“See you Monday!” adds Alex. As we switch to a longer shot, we see Lowri lean her head on Dave’s chest and rub his leg with her hand!

“You can’t take her anywhere!” Trixie remarks.

“I don’t think Dave’s going to forget yesterday’s show for a while!” laughs Joe.

“No, I imagine not!” agrees Trixie, smirking. “Well, we’ve seen our daredevils’ kiss-chase exploits, so we need to find out what the final scores are! Joe, over to you!”

“Okay,” Joe states, “this week’s winner, with a magnificent 22 points, is Gemma!” He pauses, to allow the audience to show their appreciation with a rousing round of applause. The camera pans to show the daredevils sat in their row of chairs, four of them applauding a smiling Gemma.

“Ohhh! She won!” shrieks Lissie.

“Yaa-aay!” cries Rayna.

“Just behind Gemma,” continues Joe, “is Matt on 20, then Dylan with 18, Eilidh 17, and Jaz on 15.”

“So, congratulations to Gemma on a fine performance! Our kiss-chase champion!” Trixie enthuses. “Gemma, sum up your week for us!”

“It was fantastic! I love these slightly crazy dares! I had so much fun! And winning is just amazing! I canna believe it! It’s awesome!”

“After last week, what a tremendous win!” remarks Trixie. “Simply wonderful!”

“But,” adds Joe, in a more sombre tone, “it all means tonight’s live Dare-Off will see Eilidh go head-to-head with Jaz for a place on next week’s show!”

“That’s coming up, right after the break,” Trixie tells us, “so, don’t go anywhere! See you after this!”

Quietly, she adds, “Joe, about that kiss you keep asking for …”. The theme music drowns out anything else she may be saying!

We have two very happy and excited young teenagers on our living room floor, and an equally happy older one sitting in ‘her’ chair! Maddie is busy texting, presumably sharing her delight with Stacie; the other two don’t really know what to do with themselves, they are so hyped up!

[Jacques]

Originally Posted by alli55

Thanks, Jacques. I kind of like the fact the I'm rebelling a little against the standard sexually-explicit stories that dominate on here. It's a bit like being naughty for not being naughty, if you see what I mean!

Totally get what you mean. it's awesome that the total focus is actually on the dares, and a really good variety of dares, rather than (in many cases) the game simply being a plot device for getting to describing the sexual activity... (not that there's anything wrong with that as such...) this actually does seem like it could be a real TV show too- and love the attention to minor details (I had to google points west, so either local knowledge or well researched?)

[alli55]

Originally Posted by Jacques

this actually does seem like it could be a real TV show too

Thanks, Jacques! That is probably the highest compliment you could have paid. I was aiming to make it as credible and realistic as possible, so that comment of yours has made this girl very happy!!

Originally Posted by Jacques

- and love the attention to minor details (I had to google points west, so either local knowledge or well researched?)

A little bit of both, actually. I have family down that way, so knew the title of the local news, but I had to research who currently presents it.

[alli55]

“She’s definitely going to be Britain’s Most Daring champion!” Lissie asserts, her excitement at Gemma’s latest win encouraging her to get somewhat ahead of herself.

“What have I told you about winning one week?” her Dad prompts her.

“I know, but it shows she can win it!”

“But, look at Jaz!” he tells her. “She won last week, and now look! She’s in the Dare-Off and could well be going out!”

“Hopefully!” comments Lissie. “‘Cos, then, Eilidh stays in!” she adds, by way of justification.

Her Dad sighs and shakes his head. “Anyway, my point is,” he continues, “just because Gemma’s won this week, it means nothing for next week or the rest of the series!”

He’s right, of course, but there’s no reasoning with an over-excited 13-year-old!

“Yeah, but she’s still going to win, so there! Isn’t she, Rayna?”

Possibly sensing that her loyalty is being tested, Rayna simply says, “Yeah, definitely!”

Well, that’s that, then! Now to see if Eilidh can survive for another week!

“Welcome back!” Trixie greets us. “We’ve gone kissing crazy this week! But, someone’s feeling left out, aren’t they?” She turns to her co-presenter. “Awww!” she says, sympathetically.

“Just a little kiss!” he says, melancholically. “Is that too much to ask?!”

She faces front, and, addressing the audience, asks, “What do you think?” A loud cheer is the response, and she grins when she hears it. “Really?” she checks. The second cheer is even louder! When she looks at Joe, she sees him using his arms to encourage the audience; she rolls her eyes. “Well, okay!” she agrees. “But, you have to do one thing, first!” she tells Joe.

“Yeah, alright!” he replies.

“Close your eyes!” she orders. “And keep them closed!”

His raised eyebrows give away his surprise at this instruction, but, seeking his kiss, he complies. Once he has his eyes closed, Trixie puts her finger to her mouth, indicating to the audience that she wants them to remain quiet. The reason for this becomes clear when Lowri wanders into shot! Trixie gestures for Lowri to approach Joe.

“Are you ready?” Trixie asks, before stepping aside.

“Uh-huh!” he answers.

Lowri moves in and gives him a gentle kiss on his cheek. He smiles, but before he can react further, she places her hands on the sides of his face and pulls his lips onto hers. Her kiss is long and passionate, you might even call it ferocious, and is accompanied by whistling and cheering from the audience. When, eventually, she releases his mouth, he is gasping for breath.

“Phew! Wow!” he exclaims.

“Thanks! That was great!” Lowri tells him.

His eyes open wide and his jaw drops. “Oh! What!?” he yelps.

“Surprise!” Lowri cries, as Trixie grins with delight.

“Oh, you are bad!” he admonishes Trixie. Addressing Lowri, he adds, “And as for you! Get out! Go on! Shoo!” She scampers away, with a smirk and a wave to the audience. “I canna believe you did that to me!” he tells Trixie.

She simply looks at him and shrugs her shoulders. “Shall we continue?” she suggests.

“I think you’d better!” he says.

“Before all that,” she states, “we saw Gemma win this week’s Kiss-Chase. But, now it’s that time again, when, unfortunately, we’re going to be losing one of our daredevils.”

“So, step forward, Eilidh and Jaz,” Joe instructs, “and prepare for tonight’s Live Head-To-Head Dare-Off!” The two young women join Trixie and Joe. “So, are you ready for this?” he asks.

“Not really!” Jaz answers.

Eilidh’s almost-ever-present smile is lighting up her face, but she replies, “I’m really nervous! I just want this over! Hopefully I can get through!”

“Well, let’s see what your dare is, shall we?” Trixie says. “Here’s the Dare Deliverer to tell you!”

The sultry-voiced one says, “Well, little ones, you didn’t do very well with my kiss-chase, did you, or you wouldn’t be here, now! I hope it wasn’t because you found it embarrassing! Though, if it was, … well, maybe you’ll appreciate my next dare for you! I’m going to let you turn the tables! I’ve got someone for you each to meet, and I dare you to embarrass them! Really make them blush! Good luck, my lovelies!”

“Thanks, DD!” Joe says. “So, what d’you reckon?” he asks Eilidh and Jaz.

“I dinnae like the sound of it!” admits Eilidh.

“Nor me!” agrees Jaz.

On the other side of the studio, in front of the familiar circular cubicles, Trixie takes over: “Okay, Joe, let’s have them over here!” Once they’ve all joined her, she continues, “So, all you have to do is make your partner blush. As soon as we see a full blush, the hooter will sound to signal the end of the dare. How you get them to blush is up to you!”

“So, if that’s clear,” Joe instructs, “please take your places in the cubicles!”

Eilidh and Jaz each stand in one of the cubicles, as Trixie prepares to bring on their partners. “Okay, let’s find out who they’ll be trying to embarrass!”

Warm applause greets the sight of Marcus and Tobias, the Dare Deliverer’s henchmen, dressed in matching tight-fit white t-shirts and unfeasibly short shorts! As Tobias joins Eilidh, and Jaz is reunited with Marcus, we have our first blusher: Jaz has gone bright red, no doubt recalling the way her last encounter with him ended with her hand down his shorts. Marcus grins and winks at her, which really doesn’t help!

“Alright, are you ready?” Joe asks. Jaz nods.

“As ready as I’m ever gonnae be!” Eilidh answers.

“Okay, make them blush!” Trixie orders.

Neither daredevil seems to know how to start, and they just stand there, wondering what to do. Eilidh is the first to make a move, so we switch to a close-up of her cubicle.

“So, did your shirt shrink in the wash?” she asks Tobias.

“It looks that way!” he replies

“And do you like the way it shows off your body?”

“It’s alright!”

“And what happened tae your shorts,” she continues, “did they shrink as well, or are they your sister’s hot pants?

He laughs, and tells her, “I haven’t got a sister!”

“Your Mum’s then?” she tries.

“Oh, that’s wrong!” he declares, and we detect the first hint of redness appearing in his cheeks. Unfortunately, Eilidh can’t think of another question, so Tobias is able to recover himself.

Back with our wide shot, we can see that Jaz has got no further with Marcus, in her attempt to induce a blush. Both girls are really struggling with this dare!

Jaz puts a hand to her face, and, we focus on her cubicle, in anticipation of her making a move.

“Do you remember what I did last time?” she asks Marcus.

“I’m not likely to forget that, am I?” he replies.

Jaz starts to blush again, but presses on. “Did you like it?”

“What’s not to like?!”

Jaz’s cheeks are going redder by the second. “D’you want me to do it again?” she asks. She clamps a hand over her mouth, as if trying to prevent any more ill-considered words from escaping.

“If that’s what you want, yeah, okay!”

“Oh, God!” she mumbles through her fingers. Marcus raises his eyebrows, almost challenging her to go through with it. Impetuously, she grabs the waistband of his shorts and thrusts her hand inside. “Is that good?” she asks, cringing with her own embarrassment.

“Mmm!” Marcus replies, and we can see just a faint hint of colour start to appear in his cheeks.

“It feels like it!” she tells him, making him start to blush. “It’s getting bigger by the second!”

When he hears that, his face goes bright red, and the hooter sounds, bringing this excruciating dare to an abrupt end. Jaz quickly removes her hand, and covers her face, trying to hide her own embarrassment. In the other cubicle, Eilidh gives a rueful smile, as she realises that her time on the show has come to an end; Tobias gives her a sympathetic hug.

“Ohhh, no! Poor Eilidh! Ohhh!” Lissie exclaims. She looks across at me, with a frown on her face. “I didn’t want her to go out!”

“I know, pet!”

Joe fetches the two daredevils from the cubicles, and they join Trixie.

“So, Jaz,” he says, with a twinkle in his eye, “you canna keep your hands off him, can you?!”

She puts her hand over her face once more, blushing furiously, and admits, “I don’t know what came over me! I’m so, so sorry!”

“Well, it keeps you on the show!” he tells her.

“I know,” she acknowledges, “but I’m not that person! I don’t do that sort of thing! Oh, God!”

“Go and have a lie down in a darkened room!” he suggests. “Off you go!” Addressing the audience, he adds, “Give her a round of applause!”

As Jaz returns to the other daredevils, Trixie moves Eilidh so that she’s between the two presenters. “Eilidh,” she says to the young Scot, “you looked like you really struggled with that!”

“Aye, it was really hard!” she agrees. “I thought I’d got him going at one point, but, … well, there you are!

“How have you enjoyed your time with us?” Trixie asks.

Eilidh’s smile returns, as she bubbles with enthusiasm for her experiences over the past weeks. “I’ve had the time of my life!” she reveals. “I’ve done so many different things, and met so many nice people! It’s been brilliant! And it’s really brought me out of my shell! I’ve had so much fun! Thank you, for everything! Just, well, …, yeah, thank you!”

“No, thank you!” Joe corrects. “Thank you for giving us so many moments to remember and treasure! Let’s take a look at some of the best!”

The montage begins with a shot of Eilidh sitting on a bench with a pair of pensioners, who she is regaling with tales of her starring role in Hollyoaks, though it seems to mean nothing to them. “Is that our first date?” she asks the person on the other end of the phone, before we switch to Wembley Stadium and see cheerleader Eilidh step onto the hands of Gemma and Jaz, and be lifted above their shoulders with her arms aloft. An old man sits down opposite Eilidh and takes out his false teeth, placing them on the table, which makes her screw her face up in disgust; they then proceed to cram marshmallows into their mouths, whilst attempting to say “Chubby Bunnies”, but eventually he dribbles marshmallow onto the table; when he gets up, we see he has left his false teeth behind! “That was so horrible!” Eilidh tells Trixie, referring to the Chilli Challenge. “My mouth has been abused like never before!” In her stint as a silks aerialist, Eilidh lets go of the silks with one hand and uses this free hand to set the silks rotating, arching her back to create a pleasing pose as she spins; we see her giving selfies, with a long queue of people waiting their turn; “Oh my God,” she exclaims loudly, chewing on deep-fried shortbread, “where has this been all my life?!”. Dressed in her lab coat, with her back to us, she drops the coat off her shoulders and allows it to fall down her bare back, but it falls further than she wants, revealing her black panties. “Oh, God, did you just see them?” she asks, embarrassment in her voice. Committed vegetarian that she is, we see her set free a jar of aphids, some ants and some earthworms; but the snails won’t move, and she won’t go near the maggots! Back in a lab coat, Professor Eilidh tells us of his/her encounter with the show’s director in the gents’ toilets: “I don’t think he knew what tae dae with himself, so I said tae him, ‘just give it a little shake, that’s what I always dae!’”, she sniggers. She shares a kiss with a man and then with his wife, and then we see what started it all off for Eilidh: the words ‘this is shit’ spelt out using the contents of her haggis. That’s far from the truth, though, as the montage’s finale proves: Eilidh puts her quiet soprano voice to great effect, singing the opening lines of ‘Bridge Over Troubled Water’ at the Heads Together concert.

The audience’s response is raucous and heartfelt, and Eilidh smiles broadly at the reception she’s being given. As the applause continues, Eilidh looks across to her right, and opens her arms wide. Gemma comes running across and throws herself into a warm embrace with her friend.

“Eilidh, everyone!” cries Trixie. “What a star!”

Eilidh and Gemma release each other, and the Scot gives a final wave to the audience. Still beaming from ear to ear, she turns and heads off. Joe puts an arm around Gemma’s shoulder, as she wipes a tear from her eye.

“What a great lass!” Joe enthuses. “We’re going to miss wor Eilidh, that’s for sure!”

“We are!” agrees Trixie, and we see Gemma nodding as well. “But,” she continues, “the search for Britain’s Most Daring goes on!”

“It does, and we’re down to wor last four!” Joe points out. “We’re getting so close, now. In fact, they’re just one step away from the Grand Final!”

“So, join us next week, for another exciting show,” Trixie encourages us, “when our four daredevils will be attempting to claim their place in the Grand Final! Don’t miss it! Until then, goodbye, and we’ll leave you with Eilidh’s crowning glory. Remember this?”

The two presenters, and Gemma, wave to the camera, before the image quickly fades, to be replaced by footage, from the Heads Together Concert, of Eilidh singing ‘Stand By Me’, backed by the rest of the BMD Northern Singers. Midway through the performance, the credits start to roll, but they finish before the song does, allowing us to see the ending in all its glory, before the screen fades to black.

Our uncontained joy at Gemma’s win has been tempered by Eilidh’s departure. We only met her once, at Lissie’s barbecue, but she was so friendly and cheery that she made a big impression on all of us, particularly Lissie and her friends; and clearly, from what we’ve just seen, she and Gemma have become really close. So, what should have been an atmosphere of happy excitement has, instead, become rather quiet and reflective.

“It’s really sad that we’re not going to see Eilidh anymore,” Lissie remarks.

“Yeah, I liked Eilidh, she was really nice!” Rayna agrees.

“But, if you want Gemma to win,” Phil points out, “then Eilidh had to lose at some point!”

“Yeah, but I wanted Gemma and Eilidh to be the last two left!” Lissie tells him.

“Well, there you go,” I say, adding, philosophically, “it is what it is!”

If we’re this gloomy following Eilidh’s departure, then let’s hope to goodness that Gemma does go on and win the whole thing, otherwise God knows what it will be like in our house!

[Jacques]

Originally Posted by alli55

Thanks, Jacques! That is probably the highest compliment you could have paid. I was aiming to make it as credible and realistic as possible, so that comment of yours has made this girl very happy!!

You're entirely welcome ! In addition to the show itself (which btw I would watch over Love Island without a doubt!) thought the comments on the 'controversial' Northern Ireland audition and the trans week were totally realistic too, particularly in light of some of the coverage of the gaslighting on that show recently! Out of interest- the family you use as your framing device- was that planned from the start or did you add them in after you started writing the story of the show itself?

Originally Posted by alli55

A little bit of both, actually. I have family down that way, so knew the title of the local news, but I had to research who currently presents it.

Ok wow- I didn't think when I wrote the comment they'd be the actual presenters- that's awesome! Mind a little bit blown there, you're a brilliant author and can't wait to read more!

[alli55]

Originally Posted by Jacques

Out of interest- the family you use as your framing device- was that planned from the start or did you add them in after you started writing the story of the show itself?

It wasn't planned to start with, but even before I'd finished writing the auditions it had become obvious that I needed some way of linking each episode to give the story a reasonable flow. If I'd just left it as 14 separate episodes, I think it would have felt disjointed. Plus, of course, it allowed me to develop alternative mini-storylines that have, I hope, embellished the overall tale.

[alli55]

The next morning, Maddie finally decided what sort of party she wanted as a celebration of her 18th birthday and the end of the exams.

“I’d love a foam party!” she said, excitedly. “That’d be wicked!”

“Okay, how do we go about organising that?” I wondered aloud.

“I found this website all about it,” she informed me, “and you can hire the whole thing from them and they come and do it for you! I’ll show you, …”. The excitement disappeared from her voice, as she added, “Only, it’s not exactly cheap!”

“Well, how about you show your Dad, and then, when I get back from the shopping, me and him can have a look together, and see what we can do!” I suggested.

Once I’d put the shopping away, later that morning, I asked Phil, “So, did Maddie mention the foam party?”

“She did!” he replied.

“And …?”

“You’d better sit down!” he advised.

“That bad?”

He brought up the website and pointed to the figure. Maddie was right, it wasn’t exactly cheap! However, I remembered what my Dad had told me, when I’d asked about the cost of Maddie’s birthstone pendant.

“She’s only 18 once!” I repeated to Phil. “So, let’s make it memorable! What do you think?”

“I’ve already booked it!” he revealed. “For a week on Friday! Maddie’s upstairs making a list of who she wants to invite. I did ask her to keep it manageable!”

“I love you!” I told him, pressing my lips against his and sharing a lingering, tender kiss.

Late that afternoon, shortly before cheerleading, the taxi taking Maddie and Stacie to the spa hotel arrived, and we helped her pile her luggage into the boot. It was only a two-night stay, but she seemed to have packed for every possible occasion!

“I can’t think where she gets that from!” Phil quipped, looking at me, as he lugged a heavy suitcase to the waiting cab.

48 hours later, they were back, looking really refreshed, and simply bubbling over with tales of the past two days.

“Oh, Mam, it was brilliant!” she enthused. “Thank you, thank you, so much!”

“Yeah, thanks ever so much!” Stacie added. “I didn’t really know, totally, what to expect; but it was fantastic! The salt and oil scrub was amazing!”

“My God, yeah!” Maddie recalled. “I’ve never felt so pampered in my life! That and the head massage! Oh my God!”

“I’m glad you both enjoyed it!” I smiled.

“Oh, yeah! It was immense!” Stacie beamed.

“I feel like I’m walking on air!” giggled Maddie.

Unhappily, she wasn’t feeling that way when she came in just after teatime on Thursday! Far from walking on air, she appeared to be weighed down by some massive emotional trauma.

“Mam! Mam?” I heard her call from inside.

“Maddie?” I called back. “Out here! On the patio!”

She looked forlornly at me. “Oh, Mam, I’ve done something really stupid, and I don’t know what to do!” Tears were starting to form in her eyes.

I patted the seat next to me. “Come and sit down, and tell me what you’ve done!”

“Oh, Mam!” she repeated, as she sat. “What have I done?!”

“I don’t know, pet, what have you done?”

A tear escaped from the bottom of her eye and began trickling down her cheek. “I think I’m going to be shown naked on TV!”

“What?” I tried hard not to sound shocked, but I’m not sure I managed it. “Why?” I asked. “How?”

“I was helping with Gemma’s dare and it kind of happened!” she sobbed. “Oh, Mam, what have I done? What am I going to do?”

Words weren’t necessary immediately; an arm around her shoulder and a cuddle were.

“Okay,” I said, releasing her when she’d calmed a little, “tell me exactly what happened, from the beginning!”

“So, Gemma needed people to go skinny-dipping with her. Stacie said she would, but they wouldn’t let her, because she’s not 18 yet; even though it’s only like 4 weeks to her birthday, they still wouldn’t let her. So I said I’d do it! We all went to this like deserted beach place out past Blyth way, so there was like no one about. Gemma and Cherise stripped to their bikinis, but I didn’t have mine, so I went down to my bra and pants; and we went to the edge of the water and just stood there.”

She paused, as if gathering her strength to carry on.

“Take your time, pet,” I told her, putting my hand on her arm.

“So, Cherise says ‘Okay, tops off!’, so we all took our tops off; and then she says ‘After three we take our bottoms off and run into the sea!’. So, she counts to three and I yanked my pants off and ran into the water ’til I’m up to my boobs. Cherise did the same, but Gemma ran in still wearing her bikini bottoms. Cherise started like nagging her, and, eventually, she took them off and waved them around in the air to show the TV people that she was naked.”

“So,” I interrupted, “all they’ve seen of you is your bare bum!”

“Yeah! But then, we had to come back out; and they were still filming!”

“Ah!”

“So, like, Gemma put her bottoms back on and started getting out, so I followed her, but Cherise just stayed where she was. When Gemma got out, she grabbed Cherise’s bikini and went back in to take it to her. So, I was left on my own, on the beach, naked like!”

“And where was the camera for all this?”

“They were a bit further up the beach, away from the sea.”

“Okay, so, now they’ve seen you front on, but from a bit of a distance, right?!”

“Yeah, but it gets worse!” Maddie went on. “‘Cos, then, Mairie, you know off of Britain’s Most Daring, she came and started asking me questions like, ‘How does it feel?’ and ‘What was it like?’ and stuff; so I just answered them.”

“While you were still naked?” I checked.

“Yeah! I wasn’t thinking! … And the camera is right near us for that bit!”

I took a deep breath. “So, you’re now naked, front on, in close-up!?”

“Yeah!” she sobbed, as the tears began to flow again. “Oh, Mam, what have I done?”

“What have you done!”

“I don’t know what to do!” she wept, and threw her arms around me once more.

“Welcome to the adult world!” I observed, hugging her to me.

“Can you help me?” she pleaded, when she’d regained her composure again.

“You don’t have to ask that!” I told her. “I’m always here for you, no matter what! But, I’m not sure what I’m going to be able to do!” Her face betrayed her alarm at my confession. There was one thing I needed to know, to see if we had any chance of nipping this in the bud, not that I held out much hope. “Did you sign anything?” I asked.

“Yeah, I had to sign a release form thing. That’s when they stopped Stacie, ‘cos you had to put your date of birth on it.” Well, there was that small chance gone!

“Okay,” I said, gently, “so, that gave them permission to film you and to use the footage they shot. So, you can’t stop them showing it!”

“Do you think they will?”

“I think it’s very likely! But, if you’re lucky, they’ll censor your bits!”

“What if they don’t?”

“Then you’re going to be seen in all your glory on national TV!” I confirmed, telling her exactly what she didn’t want to hear.

“Oh God! Everyone’s going to see me! All my friends!” she wailed. “Oh no! Dad! Oh God, he’s going to go mental!”

“Don’t worry about your Dad!” I tried to reassure her. “You leave him to me! He might surprise you! … Lissie might be more interesting!” I mused.

“Oh, God, no!”

Seeing her anguish writing itself all over her face, I knew we had to turn this around somehow!

“Okay,” I decided, “what we have to do is take control of the situation!”

“How? We can’t stop them showing it!”

“No, but we plan for afterwards!”

“Okay,” she replied, uncertainly, “but, how? What do we do?”

“Well, let’s see!” I began. “Who are you worried about seeing it?”

“Everyone!”

“Who, mostly?”

“Dad, Lissie, my friends, school, …, um, oh God, Granny and Grumpy!”

“They won’t be watching, I can guarantee that!”

“But they’ll find out!”

“We’ll come to that!” I told her. “So, basically, it’s Dad and Lissie, and your friends.”

“And school!”

“They don’t matter! You’ve finished school! It doesn’t affect anything there!”

“Really?”

“Yes, really! Think about it!”

“I s’pose!” she agreed, after a pause.

“Right! I’ll talk to your Dad first, and then we’ll both have a sit down with you after, okay?!”

“Okay! What about Lissie?”

“That would be better coming from you!”

“I can’t!” she insisted.

“How about we do it together? She’ll have to know before she watches it!” I pointed out.

“Okay!”

I had to think a bit more about what to do when it came to her friends. That wasn’t going to be so easy to take control of, at all! “With your friends,” I said, eventually, “I think it’s best we wait ’til after the programme, but you need to have something ready to tell them when they ask!”

“Like what?”

“Well, decide how much you want to tell them about how it happened. Tell them how you feel about having done it, and let them know you’re still Maddie, you’re still the same person, you’re still their friend. Something like that!”

As I promised, I broached the subject with Phil.

“Maddie’s got something she wants to talk to us about!” I told him.

“Oh yeah? What’s that?”

“Something she’s done that she thinks is going to make you angry with her!”

“Will it?”

“No! It’ll shock you, that’s for sure! But you won’t be angry!” I instructed.

“So, what is it?” he asked.

“I really wanted her to tell you herself,” I explained, “even though she thinks I’m telling you, because I think it’ll be a good lesson for her in dealing with a tough situation!”

“Okay, but if I’ve got to pretend I know what’s happened, I’m going to need something to go on!”

“Alright,” I conceded, “just think of Las Palmas, when we were on our honeymoon!”

His face cracked into a huge grin. “No! She didn’t!?”

“Uh-huh! She did!”

“Oh, Maddie! You little so-and-so!” he laughed.

Poor Maddie got very embarrassed and tongue-tied as she told her story to her Dad. He nodded and made a few short comments in the right places, but otherwise sat, quietly and calmly, listening to her.

“Please, don’t be angry with me, Dad!” she begged, when she’d finished.

“Oh, Maddie!” he replied. “Come here!” I vacated the sofa to allow her to sit next to her Dad. He put an arm around her shoulder, and she leant into him. Kissing her softly on her forehead, he said, “How am I ever going to be angry with you, pet?”

She looked up at him and smiled, the beginnings of tears glistening in her eyes. “Let me show you something,” he continued, fishing in his pocket. He took out an old photo, and I knew straightaway what it was, without seeing it! He gave it to her, and she looked at it, her eyes widening and her smile spreading across her face.

“Is that you and Mam?” she asked.

“It is, pet! When we were younger, and I was better looking! Your Mam still looks as fabulous as ever!” he added.

“I never knew you went to a nudist beach!” she remarked.

“You never asked!” he grinned.

“So, what happened?”

He told her the story of how we had been out on our hired moped, me riding pillion, and we’d come across this beach, on our way back to the hotel. Intrigued, and feeling a little naughty, we’d gone to the beach and stripped off! Another young couple, who had been there, had come over and started talking with us, and it was them who had taken the picture.

“Did you ever go again?” she asked.

“Well, now, that’s another story!” he began. “But, I’m not sure your Mam would want me telling that!” He looked at me, questioningly, and I smiled and nodded my assent. “We did, once, out at Druridge Bay. We had the whole beach to ourselves, and thought, ‘Why not?’, and, well, to cut a long story short, that was where you were conceived!”

Maddie’s jaw dropped open as she registered what her Dad had just told her. “Oh my God! You never!”

“We did!” he laughed. “Best thing I’ve ever done! Just look at the result!” he added, stroking her cheek.

“Oh, Daddy,” she leant into him once more, “I love you so much!”

The conversation with Lissie would be rather different, and I was a little nervous, knowing how Lissie had kind of put Maddie on a pedestal as the perfect role model for her own teenage adventure!

“Start by telling her how you were helping Gemma with her dare!” I advised Maddie. “Once she knows that, she’ll not care what you’ve done!”

That’s what Maddie did, and her sister listened eagerly, as Maddie told her what had happened. Then, when the tale was complete, Lissie did something that took both of us completely by surprise and made us both cry happy tears!

She looked Maddie in the eye and exclaimed, “Oh, Maddie, that’s so brave! You’ve made me really, really proud to be your sister!”

The girls threw their arms around each other and hugged as if their lives depended on it, as I wiped the tears from my eyes, smiling like the Cheshire cat!

“See, now,” I told Maddie afterwards, “that wasn’t so bad, was it?!”

“No,” she admitted, but her face fell as she added, “it’s just the others …!”

“Why should that be any different?!” I said, trying to reassure her.

“‘Cos they don’t love me like you, and Dad, and Lissie!”

“Well, maybe you’ll find out who your friends really are!”

“Mmm!”

“And I think you might be pleasantly surprised!”

Today my emotions have been conflicted once more!

This morning, Maddie informed me, “I don’t want my party anymore!”

“Why not, pet?” I asked. “You were really looking forward to that!”

“All my friends are going to see me tonight! I won’t be able to face them after that! So, I can’t have the party!”

“Okay, well, let’s not be too hasty, eh?! Maybe, let’s sleep on that one!”

Lissie came and found me this afternoon.

“I’ve got something to ask!” she announced.

“Go on!” I encouraged.

“Can Rayna come and watch Britain’s Most Daring with us tonight? I want to show her how awesome and amazing Maddie is!”

How could I say ‘no’ to that?

[alli55]

Coming through the doorway into our living room, I survey the scene in front of me: Lissie and Rayna are in their usual position, lying side-by-side on the top of Lissie’s sleeping bag, their heads propped up by a combination of arms and pillows, and Lissie’s foot is once more wiggling away; Phil is sitting on the sofa, with a newspaper on his lap, that he is half-reading; Maddie, though, is curled up in a tight ball in ‘her’ chair, silent and looking extremely apprehensive.

I nudge Phil and indicate towards Maddie. “Be ready to move!” I instruct him, and he nods. I go over to Maddie, rest a hand on her shoulder, and put my head near hers. “How about you come and sit with me on the sofa tonight?!” I suggest, quietly. She looks up, uncertainly. “Come on, pet!” I encourage her, and pull an arm towards me. She untangles herself and lifts herself out of the chair; taking his cue, Phil gets up, and the two of them swap places.

Lissie and Rayna watch all this, but say nothing. Lissie’s smart enough to realise that this is going to be a difficult evening for Maddie, and sensitive enough to not want to make things worse for her sister with a misplaced comment; and Rayna is far too polite to say anything, even if she is wondering what’s happening.

Maddie and I settle in for what is going to be a tense and testing 90 minutes.

“Now on Channel 4,” begins the announcer, “it’s time to catch up with the latest escapades on Britain’s Most Daring. This programme contains scenes of nudity."

I feel a hand grab my arm, and instinctively place my own hand on Maddie’s thigh and give it a gentle reassuring rub.

The opening titles follow: the usual mix of images from the series so far, which ends with a screen-fade, as the audience’s applause is heard. Over the black screen, words, written in white, appear: ‘Last week on Britain’s Most Daring …’

This week’s montage is one long string of kisses, which flash up with alacrity before giving way to the next caress of lips on skin. Dylan is first, carrying a placard, chivalrously kissing a young bespectacled woman’s hand. He is followed, in turn, by: Gemma sharing a full-on kiss on the lips with a young female receptionist; Jaz giving a floppy-haired youth a kiss on the cheek; and Gemma, again, having been helped up off the ground, leaning on her crutches, giving her postman-rescuer a peck on the cheek. A young male shelf-stacker assaults Jaz, french-kissing her as she struggles to pull away; and a handsome lifeguard, sitting atop a ladder, leans down to allow Eilidh to kiss his cheek. Matt is with a young woman, who is walking a pug; he kisses her on the cheek, and then crouches down to allow the dog to nuzzle against his mouth! On a train, Dylan kisses the hand of a young blonde woman sitting next to him, and then, at Lowri’s urging, kisses her lightly on the cheek. Our next set of kisses are an eclectic mix: Matt kisses an excitable Thai or Filipina nurse on the cheek, where she’s pointing to; Gemma crashes one of her crutches into a pensioner’s leg on the bus, and then gives him a peck on the cheek by way of apology; Eilidh kisses a middle-aged couple, both him and her, on the lips; and a taxi-driver gives us the thumbs-up after Gemma kisses his cheek. Dylan has his hands full dealing with a hen party, as the future bride snogs him enthusiastically; and Matt is getting an actual game of kiss-chase with a young female vicar, who eventually allows him to kiss her hand and then her cheek. We then see a series of kisses on the cheek: Jaz kisses a burly builder; Matt kisses a giggly young female doctor; a young woman, with a baby in a baby carrier against her chest, is kissed by Gemma, who then kisses the baby’s head; and Jaz greets a primary school teacher, in front of his class, by kissing him on the cheek, and then rubs noses with him! Dylan, underwater, kisses a young woman, also underwater, on the cheek, as they are filmed by Lowri, underwater; a giggling, blushing, young female police officer allows Matt to kiss her cheek, and then promptly handcuffs him and kisses him back. Then come three real surprises: Dylan is carried off, over the shoulder of a member of the women’s rugby team; Matt crashes a wedding and kisses the mother of the bride; and Dylan kisses BBC Points West presenter, Alex Lovell, live on the programme! “Lovely!” says Lowri, in close-up, before the screen fades and a red number 5 appears. Behind it we see Jaz, blushing furiously, with her hand down Marcus’ shorts, again, making him blush as well. As the 5 changes to a 4, we see Eilidh beaming as she is joined by Gemma, who hugs her friend, before watching her turn and walk off. The screen fades again, as does the number 4; but, before we go live to the studio, we see Lowri kissing Joe, on last week’s show, pulling his lips to hers and snogging him for all she’s worth!

As the audience applaud, we see our first shot of the studio … ceiling! We swoop down and around, rushing through the audience in a blurring motion, before zooming in on the two presenters, who are stood, smiling and acknowledging the warm welcome. Joe is wearing his usual t-shirt, in a lilac pastel shade this week, but has gone with calf-length grey cargo shorts in place of the normal jeans. Trixie’s outfit is possibly her most eye-catching of the series so far, and certainly the most daring! The burgundy ensemble consists of an elaborate crop-top with a halter-neck and an extra band wrapping around her body just below her bust, together with what look like bikini bottoms, over which long strings of material hang down to her ankles, giving the appearance of a dress that has been put through some sort of shredder! The effect is to give constant tantalising glimpses of her toned legs beneath the strands of the skirt. The whole outfit requires a good deal of body-confidence to be worn, but gives Trixie a sexy appearance, which has not gone unnoticed by the audience; and she appears to be revelling in the attention she’s receiving!

“Hello! …” she begins, before being interrupted by a particularly loud and forceful wolf-whistle, which makes her giggle. Joe grins, and holds out his arm towards his co-presenter, encouraging the audience to continue their appreciation of her. She looks across at him and raises her eyebrows, but puts her welcome on hold for a little longer. “Hello,” she begins again, when, finally, the applause dies down, “and welcome to Britain’s Most Daring! I’m Trixie Stonehill, …”

“… And I don’t know what to say!” grins Joe, turning towards Trixie. “I mean, look at you!”

“… And he’s Joe Denecker!” Trixie informs us, trying her best to carry on as normal.

“Oh, no you don’t! You’re not ignoring us!” he tells her. “Come on! Explain yourself!”

“I don’t know what you mean!” she teases.

“Your dress, man! What happened to it? It looks like it’s been in some sort of terrible accident!”

“It’s meant to be like this!”

“Yeah? Well, I hope you got it half-price, ’cos only half of it’s there!”

“Well, I see your trousers have shrunk!” she retorts, turning the tables.

“No, it’s not that,” he tells her, straight-faced, “it’s my legs that have grown!”

“Really?!” she says, her face contorting as she tries to resist his attempt to make her laugh.

“Oh, yeah! It’s a growth spurt!” he assures her. “You might get one, someday!”

This nearly gets her, but she just manages to maintain her composure. “Anyway, enough of this, …” she starts.

“Oh, no, I’ve not finished with you, yet!” he states, knowing that he’s so close to breaking her. “You’ve not explained how you got caught in the shredding machine!”

Biting her lip in an effort to hold herself together, she makes another attempt to move on: “After last week’s kissing capers, …”. She pauses and looks at Joe, waiting for him to interrupt again, but he holds his tongue, so she continues, “ … we’re left with just 4…”

“I know when I’m beaten!” he admits, catching her off-guard, and finally eliciting the giggle from her that he’s been trying for. Just as she’s about to begin again, he asks, “How many have we got left now?”, forcing another giggle from her.

“Four!” she squeaks, trying to regain control of herself.

“Okay, just checking!”

“Stop it!” she orders.

He holds his hands up. “I’m done!” he promises.

“We’re down to our last 4 daredevils,” she restates, “and the battle is well and truly on, now!”

“Yes, it is,” Joe confirms, “and tonight they’ll be trying to claim their place in next week’s Grand Final!”

“But one of them is going to have to miss out,” Trixie reminds us, adding quickly “because if you flop you’re dropped!” She looks triumphantly at her co-presenter, now even with him, having just nicked his catchphrase! “Isn’t that right, Joe?!”

“So, with the stakes high,” he continues, ignoring her, “the dares are going to be that bit tougher! Here’s how DD broke the news to wor daredevils!”

“Well, my fab four,” she purrs, as the four daredevils listen intently, “you’re getting close now, aren’t you?! But if you want to be Britain’s Most Daring, then you’re going to have to prove you’re worthy of the title! It’s time for you to step up and show us just what you’re made of! This week, I dare you to face your fears: to stand up to what scares you; fight back against what frightens you; and defeat what daunts you! Good luck, my little ones! And remember, fortune favours the brave!” Their faces betray their anxiety.

Back, live, in the studio, Trixie explains, “As you heard the Dare Deliverer tell our daredevils, their dares, this week, are going to require them to face up to their fears.”

“Which means she needs to know what their fears are!” Joe points out.

“Fortunately,” Trixie continues, “when they first got their place on the show, as part of their introductory questionnaire, they were asked what their biggest fear was!”

“That was handy, wasn’t it?!” Joe grins, making Trixie smirk once more. “Anyone would think we’d planned that!”

“Stop it!” she instructs. “Just tell everyone what happened next!”

“So, after they’d heard DD give them their dare, we caught up with them to find out what they thought they’d be up to!” Joe tells us. “This is what they had to say!”

With the daredevils sat in their row of chairs, the onscreen, last-week Trixie and Joe wander along the line, asking the crucial question.

“Gemma,” Joe asks his fellow Geordie, “you’ve heard what DD said, so what are you expecting?”

“I don’t know!” she confesses. “I canna remember what I put!”

“Oh, right!” Joe says, and sniggers. “So, you have no idea what you’re going to be doing?!”

“No!”

“Okay, well, in that case,” he tells her, “we’ll come back to you in a minute! Trix …!”

“Dylan, what’s your biggest fear?” she asks.

“Heights!” he answers. “I’m really bad with them!”

“So, what do you think you might be doing?”

“Er, …, maybe bungee jumping? Or abseiling? Something up high!”

“Looking forward to it?”

“No!”

“How about you, Jaz,” Joe enquires, “what freaks you out?”

“I hate the dark!” she reveals.

“So, what d’you reckon?”

“Creepy house, perhaps?”

“How would that be?”

“That’d be my worst nightmare! I’d hate that!”

“Oh no!”, we hear a soft Geordie voice exclaim, out of shot. “Oh, God, no!” Presumably, Gemma has just remembered what she put as her biggest fear!

“Matt,” Trixie remarks, “surely there’s nothing that frightens a big, burly bloke like you?!”

“You’d think!” he replies. “But I can’t stand spiders! I just can’t be doing with them!”

“So…?” she leads him.

“So, I reckon I’m going to spend the week with lots of spiders!”

“And …?”

“And I’m not going to like it one little bit!”

“So, Gemma,” Joe returns to the teenager, who now has her head in her hands, “I take it you’ve remembered what you put!?”

“Yeah!”

“Can you share with the class please?!” he requests.

“Well, I don’t really have any fears,” she explains,” so, I told them that I didn’t know what to put. So, they said to think what was my worst nightmare and put that. So, when Jaz said ‘worst nightmare’ just now, it all came back to me!”

“So, what’s your worst nightmare?”

“Well, my nightmares can all start off really different like, but they all end up in the same way, with me running around town, naked! God knows why, but they do! So that’s what I put!”

“And what are you expecting to have to do, then?”

“I don’t know, exactly, but I’m guessing it’s going to be something to do with being naked!”

“And how are you with that?”

“Oh, God! I’m dreading it!”

“So, there you are,” Trixie declares, “I think we can safely say they’ve got an interesting week ahead of them!”

Live in the studio, Trixie agrees with herself: “They certainly have!”

“And we’ve got a very interesting show ahead of us!” adds Joe.

“So, join us, after the break,” Trixie continues, “as our daredevils begin to confront their worst nightmares! You don’t want to miss it! See you, after this!”

“I was wondering why Gemma got the dare she did,” Phil says to me. “I couldn’t think what would make them give that sort of dare, out of the blue like. But, now, it makes sense!”

The look on Rayna’s face is priceless! You can almost see her brain working, as she processes what her friend’s Dad has just said, and what it must mean. She looks at him, and then at Lissie, trying to puzzle it out, but they give her no further clue; she turns and looks at me and Maddie, who clutches my arm once more.

“Is it alright if I just go to the loo?” Rayna asks.

“Of course it is, pet! You don’t need to ask!” I tell her.

Once she’s out of the room, Maddie is quickly into interrogation mode. “What have you told Rayna?” she asks Lissie.

“Nothing!” her sister answers.

Maddie raises an eyebrow, suspiciously. “Really?”

“I haven’t, Maddie! Honest! I wouldn’t!” Lissie protests, visibly upset.

“Lissie, tell Maddie what you asked me this afternoon!” I order.

“I want to show Rayna how awesome and amazing you are, doing what you did to help Gemma!” she tells her sister. “But I haven’t told her anything!”

[alli55]

“I’m sorry, Lissie,” Maddie says, sniffing back a tear, “I didn’t mean to accuse you! I just …”

“That’s alright!” Lissie assures her. “Don’t worry about it!”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me!” she confesses.

“Worry! Anxiety! Stress! That’s what it is!” I tell her. “It’s perfectly understandable, given what’s going on!” I put my hand on her thigh and give it another reassuring rub.

Lissie, her eyes glistening too, suddenly leaps up and throws her arms around her big sister. “Maddie, don’t worry! Everybody’s going to think you’re amazing and brilliant when they see it!”

When Rayna comes back in and sees the two girls locked in their tearful embrace, she must wonder what on earth is going on with this family tonight! To be honest, I wouldn’t want to be in her shoes later on, when all is revealed; really, I wouldn’t!

“Welcome back to this week’s Britain’s Most Daring!” cries Trixie.

“We’re just one week away from the Grand Final,” Joe reminds us, “and wor daredevils have been given their toughest dare yet!”

“They’ve been dared to face their fears,” Trixie continues,” and they’ve all got a vague idea of what they might be up against!”

“But, as yet, they don’t know exactly what they’re going to be dared to do!” Joe reveals.

“So, how will they react when they find out?” wonders Trixie. “We gave their mentors the details, to be revealed bit-by-bit!”

“And when she says ‘mentors’, she means ‘tor-mentors’!” quips Joe. “Especially in Dylan’s case!”

“Let’s see what Lowri’s got in store for him!” Trixie says, turning to face the big screen.

Lowri and Dylan are standing outside an ordinary-looking suburban semi-detached house, which is distinctive from its neighbourhood only because of the scaffold tower against its front.

“So, Dylan,” Lowri begins, “I hear you’re not very good with heights!”

“No, I don’t like them!” he confirms.

“So, you’re probably not going to like this, then!” she grins. “What d’you think you might be going to have to do?”

Dylan looks over his shoulder at the house, and replies, “I’m guessing the fact that there’s scaffolding there has got something to do with it!”

“It does!”

“I thought so!” he sighs.

“So, your first dare this week is to get up on the roof and help with installing the solar panels!”

“What, actually on the roof?” he checks.

“Yeah! You’ll be helping Owain, here!” she says, introducing a cheery, red-faced man. “So, Owain, what exactly are you going to get him doing?”

“Well, we’ve only just started on this one,” Owain informs them, “so we’re still putting the brackets in. That’s the easy bit, really; the actual panels are a pain! So, we’ll get him up there and finish off the brackets, and see how he does with that!”

“I’m going to be tied on to something, aren’t I?!” Dylan asks, unsurprisingly concerned.

“You can be, if you want,” Owain tells him, “but, normally, we aren’t!”

“Well, I am!” he asserts.

With Owain and his workmate, Rhys, already on the roof, Dylan begins, cautiously, to climb the rungs of the scaffold tower. As his head reaches the bedroom window, he looks down and exclaims, “Oh my God! How much further?”

“Go on! Keep going! You’re nearly at the platform!” Lowri encourages him, from below.

He does keep going, and eventually hauls himself onto the platform of the scaffolding, where he remains, on his hands and knees.

“You’ll have to stand up, to get on the roof!” Owain tells him.

“I don’t know if I’m ready for that!” he replies.

“You’re alright!” Owain assures him. “There’s rails keeping you in! You’re not going anywhere!”

Dylan takes a deep breath, grabs hold of the scaffolding poles on either side, and pulls himself up into a standing position. “Oh my God! Look how high we are!” he exclaims.

“Yeah,” laughs Owain, “must be at least 15 feet!” He gives Dylan a safety belt to put around his waist, with a rope attached to it, the other end of which Owain attaches to one of the brackets that have been fixed in place.

“Can’t I just stay here?” Dylan suggests, but he isn’t given that option. Tentatively, he steps from the platform and onto the roof, and crawls over to Rhys, on hands and feet. Rhys watches him approach, chuckling at the sight of this flame-haired youth clinging desperately to the roof tiles. But, credit where credit is due, Dylan actually helps put a couple of brackets in place!

Back on terra firma, Dylan looks extremely relieved that his time as a solar panel installation engineer is over! “That was horrible!” he tells Lowri, when she asks him to summarise his time on the roof. …

… “Welcome to the Black Country Living Museum!” Richie greets us, in his usual tatty jacket and jeans, which seem more in keeping with his current surroundings. He and Jaz are standing on the cobbles of an old-fashioned street, lined by a row of terraced houses on one side and a selection of small shops on the other. “Ever been here before?” he asks the young daredevil.

“I came with school when I was 10, and we had a lesson with a really strict teacher!” she recalls.

“Well, you’re not going into the classroom today!” he informs her. “No, we’re taking you down the mine!”

“Oh, okay! That sounds alright!”

“Without a torch!”

“Yeah, I thought you were going to say something like that!” she grimaces.

Outside the mine entrance, a jovial old man, their guide for the trip, gives Richie and Jaz a hard-hat and a torch each; Richie takes Jaz’s torch from her. “You won’t be needing that!” he says.

The three of them set off into the darkness, and pretty soon the camera switches to night vision, to allow us to see a little of what is going on. Jaz has grabbed hold of Richie’s arm, as the darkness envelops them, the only light being that coming from their guide’s torch.

“I’ve got to have that on while we’re moving about,” he explains, “otherwise it would just be too dangerous. But I’ll turn it off when we get to the bottom!”

“You don’t have to!” Jaz tells him.

“Yes, you do!” Richie corrects.

The guide stops and turns to Jaz. “Are you ready, then?” he asks her. Without waiting for an answer, he turns his torch off, and across the nation TV screens go completely black.

“Oh, wow! That is properly dark!” we hear Jaz exclaim. “I can literally see nothing!”

“That’s what you get underground: complete darkness,” the guide tells her. “You can’t get this outside, even on a night with no moon; there’s always some light. But not down here!”

“You know, I don’t actually feel scared at all!” Jaz remarks. “It’s like, I don’t know, … like, because I can’t see anything at all, there’s nothing making me scared. It’s weird!”

“So, you’re finding this okay?” Richie checks.

“Yeah! It’s like, maybe it’s not the dark I’m scared of! I think what I’m actually scared of is all the creepy shadows and objects that you can only half-see in normal darkness. But, down here, it’s so dark there aren’t any shadows or stuff, ’cos you can’t see anything at all! So, it feels like it’s a safe darkness, you know!? It’ll be scarier when you turn the torch back on, I reckon!”

To prove her point, the torchlight returns, giving us a view of Jaz, Richie, and their guide, in the dim light. “See,” she continues, “that’s much worse! Now, I can see enough to imagine all sorts of things hiding in the shadows. I definitely don’t like it, now!” She clutches Richie’s arm once more. “Can we go?” she pleads. …

… Back in full light, Lisa and Matt are in a corridor, standing next to a door, as she explains Matt’s first dare to the increasingly nervous-looking daredevil. “So,” the buxom blonde begins, pulling the neck of her figure-hugging t-shirt back into its correct position, “on the other side of this door is an empty room. There’s no furniture or anything in there! But what there is, is 10 house spiders, that we released into the room earlier. All you have to do is go in and catch them all, using our special spider-catching equipment!”

Matt looks at the motley collection of jars, net, and pole. “Can’t I have one of them proper spider catchers?” he asks.

“No!” she tells him. She then asks. “So, how are you feeling about going in there, spider hunting?”

“I’m not looking forward to it!” he admits. “I’d feel better if I had one of them spider catchers!”

“You’re not getting one!” she reiterates.

“So, I suppose you’re going to come in, and stand and laugh at me trying to catch the things, then?!”

“You must be joking! I’m not going in! Not with all those spiders in there!”

“You’re scared of spiders, as well?!”

“Too right I am! They right give me the creeps! Horrible things!”

“You’re going to be a lot of help this week, then!”

“Oh, I’ll help you!” she grins, opening the door. Catching him by surprise, she gives him a shove through the doorway. “In you go! Get hunting!” she tells him, and quickly shuts the door behind him. “See,” she shouts through the door, “I helped you pluck up the courage to get started!”

Inside the room, we can see that it is, literally, empty, devoid of anything apart from Matt and, of course, 10 spiders. He puts the jars down on the floor, and takes the lid off of one. “Right, where are you?” he asks, talking more to himself than the spiders, obviously.

The door opens and an arm thrusts a stepladder into the room. “Here you are, you might need this!” we hear Lisa tell him. He turns and takes the ladder from her, and sets it up.

“Ah! There’s one!” he cries, pointing to the floor in a corner of the room. “Right, come here!” He arms himself with a net and a jar, and approaches the spider, dropping to his hands and knees. He quickly slaps the net over his target, then pauses. “How do I get it from the net into the jar?” he ponders, aloud. He considers his options, momentarily, and then calls out, “Can’t I just squish them with my foot?”

“No!” comes Lisa’s voice from the other side of the door. “We need them alive!”

To the musical backing of the Toy Dolls’ ‘Spiders In The Dressing Room’, we watch speeded-up footage of Matt’s battle to catch the errant arachnids. Variously on his hands and knees on the floor, standing-up pressed against a wall, or up the ladder reaching to the ceiling, he’s always armed with the net and a jar. Every so often he brings the net down over another spider, and forces it out of the net and into a jar, triumphantly showing it to the camera. As he closes in on the last remaining spider, things return to normal speed. He’s up the ladder once more, and has the spider in his sights. Leaning against the wall for support, he brandishes the net, readying himself to capture his target, when the spider suddenly scuttles past the net and up his arm! Panicking, he drops the net and begins frantically waving his arm around, trying to force the spider off. It stops next to his elbow, clinging on for dear life, and, in a moment of inspiration, Matt slams the jar against his arm, enveloping the spider. His only problem, now, is how to get the spider to drop off his arm and into the jar. He wiggles his arm again, but the spider’s not ready to let go just yet, even when he increases the force of his wiggling. He is on the verge of giving up, when he has another ‘lightbulb’ moment: he slides the jar carefully along his arm until the spider is caught against the rim; as its legs are pushed into its body, it lifts them and places them against the inside of the jar; Matt bashes the side of the jar, hard enough to dislodge the spider, which falls to the bottom, and then he swoops, taking the jar off his arm and covering the open end with his hand. He carefully descends the ladder and finds the lid to the jar, completing the capture of all ten spiders. Human 1 Spiders 0!

“How was that?” Lisa asks him, careful not to get too close to the jars of spiders.

“They’re tricky little devils!” Matt informs her. “I still think you should have let me squish them!”

“If it was up to me, I would have!” she reveals.

“So, some interesting encounters there!” remarks Trixie, as we return to the studio. “Who knew that the dark is only scary if it’s not actually dark enough?!”

“Yeah, right, who knew that?!” agrees Joe, looking as if he’s trying to work out what she means.

“So, it’s been a good start for our daredevils, as they face their fears,” Trixie continues, “but can they keep it up? We’ll find out after the break, as Matt’s battle with the spiders of the world goes on! Join us for that and loads more, when we come back! See you, after this!”

“What’s your biggest fear?” Lissie asks Rayna.

“Being in a fire!” her friend replies. “Like in my house, or something!”

“Oh, that would be bad!” Lissie agrees.

“We had a fire when I was younger,” Rayna explains, “in the kitchen. There was like flames everywhere, and the fire brigade had to come and put it out. It was really scary! I thought the whole house was going to burn down!”

“Oh my God! How did it happen?”

“I don’t know! I think my Mam was cooking something and it went a bit wrong!”

Oh yes, I’ve been there! Only, not with quite such dramatic consequences!

[alli55]

“What about you?” Rayna asks Lissie. “What’s your biggest fear?”

“Um, …,” Lissie considers.

This is going to be interesting! Lissie thinks she is fearless, but actually, when it comes to the crunch, she falters as often as not in the face of adversity. That’s not meant as a criticism, it’s just stating a fact; and I’m grateful for it, because it means she doesn’t put me through emotional hell by taking too many risks!

“Um, …,” she continues pondering, “I don’t really know!” She turns to me for help. “Mam, what’s my biggest fear, would you say?”

“Making a decision!” her Dad quips, getting a tongue poked at him for his effort!

“Well, you totally freaked when you went go-karting last summer!” I remind her. “So, maybe high speed?”

“But I like rollercoasters!” she points out.

“And we couldn’t get you to go ice skating, when we tried!” I recall. “And what about that time Maddie and you went pony-riding, but you wouldn’t get on yours!”

“I was only 8!” she protests.

“Still!” I remark.

“I think it’s a fear of failure!” Phil states. “That’s what you’re most frightened of: failing at things! That’s what stops you from trying them!”

“I reckon you’re right!” I agree.

Lissie is clearly unhappy about this! “I’m not a failure!” she objects, misunderstanding what her Dad has said.

“I didn’t say you were, pet,” he tells her, “I just said that, sometimes, when you’re wanting to try something new, a fear of not being able to do it stops you from giving it a go, that’s all! It’s not a bad thing! In terms of evolution, it’s what’s kept us alive as a species! It stops us from taking unnecessary risks.”

“Oh!” she says, perking up.

“It’s just that, maybe, it would be good if you could overcome that fear occasionally, because you’d then be able to do things that you want to do but are scared to try!”

“A bit like the daredevils on Britain’s Most Daring!” I point out.

Almost as if my remark was the cue for the next part, the theme music starts up once more!

“Hello, and welcome back to Face Your Fears on Britain’s Most Daring!” Trixie greets us, once more.

“So far, we’ve seen Dylan on a roof, Jaz down a mine, and Matt chasing spiders!” Joe recaps. “So, just another normal week on this show!”

Trixie grins, and adds, “Having managed to get Dylan two floors off the ground, what will Lowri have in store for him next? Let’s find out!”

“We’re here at Meridian Quay, in Swansea,” Lowri informs us, “where Dylan’s going to do a spot of window cleaning … up there!” She points off to her left, and the camera pans around to follow the direction of her finger. Into view comes a high-rise building! “That is The Tower,” we hear Lowri continue, “and at 107 metres, it is Wales’ tallest building! So, he’s going to need a really long pole to get those windows cleaned!”

As we continue to look at The Tower, Lowri wanders back into view, bringing Dylan with her. “There are 29 floors,” she tells him, “so guess which one you’re going to be cleaning windows on!”

“Well, I take it it’s not the first floor!”

“No, it definitely isn’t! Try the 25th floor!”

Dylan looks up towards the top of the building. “Oh my God! How’m I doing that?”

“Let’s go and meet Darrell, and find out!”

Darrell is in a cradle-like metal platform, about five metres long and a metre wide, which has three ropes attached through metal loops, with wheels in, along the top of each side of it.

“So, this is what we’ll be going up in!” he explains. “It gives us plenty of movement to clean a good width on each pass!”

“What’s it attached to, at the top?” asks Dylan.

“There are loops built into the top of the building, and we use those to anchor our winch motor, which is what pulls the cradle up.”

“What safety gear will we have?”

“You can have an ’ard-hat, if you like,” Darrell laughs, “though I don’t think it’ll make much difference from 300 feet!”

“Right! Come on, then! Let’s go window cleaning!” cries Lowri, stepping into the cradle and dragging Dylan in with her. “What do I do to get it going, give the rope a tug or something?”

Darrell laughs again. “No, it’s probably easier if I just tell them on this!” he says, brandishing a walkie-talkie. “Okay, Barry, start her up!” he instructs his partner on the roof of The Tower. Dylan instinctively grabs hold of the side of the cage, as it slowly lifts off the ground and begins its ascent of the building, with the three of them inside.

25 storeys, 90 metres, or 300 feet, up in the air, to the musical backing of George Formby’s ‘When I’m Cleaning Windows’, Dylan, Lowri, and Darrell begin squeegeeing: Darrell professionally, Lowri enthusiastically; and Dylan extremely nervously, clinging to the rail along the top of the cradle with one hand at all times. Amid the close-up shots of the three at work, we also get some shots from ground level, showing tiny figures in a very distant cradle, evidencing just how high up they are.

“So, Dylan,” Lowri turns to him, still suspended near the top of the building, “are you enjoying yourself?”

“What do you think?!”

“Oh, how can you say that?! Just look at the view!”

“I’d rather not, if you don’t mind!”

We get one final, long-distance shot of the window cleaners, before returning to the studio.

“I’ve got to say, I’m really impressed that he actually got that high up!” Joe states.

“I’m not sure he had too much choice!” Trixie grins. “I think Lowri fancies herself as a high-rise window cleaner!”

“Perhaps it’s a good job Matt’s only got Lisa to deal with,” adds Joe, “because goodness knows what Lowri would get up to at Chester Zoo!”

“But, I have a feeling I know where in the zoo Matt’s going to end up!” remarks Trixie. “Let’s see if I’m right!”

At first sight it appears that Trixie is hopelessly wrong! Matt and Lisa are stood, with a young woman in a Chester Zoo polo-shirt, in front of the elephant enclosure, where two very playful young Asian elephants are drawing a large crowd. Their antics also make it quite difficult for us to concentrate on what Lisa is telling us!

“We’re here at Chester Zoo, where Matt is going to be helping out the keepers with their cleaning and feeding duties!” she states. “But it’s not little Aayu and Indali, here, that he’s going to be looking after! Is it Heather?”

The zookeeper smiles and shakes her head. “No, though I have to admit I always get a little bit jealous when I come up here and see those two playing like this! But, I’m going to be getting Matt to help me with some of our invertebrates.”

“By which you mean …?” asks Lisa.

“Spiders!” Heather confirms.

“Right! So, Matt, off you go with Heather! I think I’ll stop here and watch these two for a bit longer!”

Inside the Invertebrate House, Heather has opened the back of a display that consists of a lot of leaf litter and small twigs, resembling a forest floor, with a number of branches of wood rising upwards from the floor of the display case.

“So, what we have here is our Salmon Pink Bird-Eating Spider,” Heather begins.

“Bird-Eating?” Matt interrupts. “This thing eats birds?! How big is it?”

“Ours has a 20 cm leg-span!”

“Bloody hell! That’s massive!” he exclaims. “Is it dangerous?”

“Not really! She’s not likely to bite you, and if she does, it’ll just be sore for a few days, that’s all!”

“Oh, great! That really helps!”

Heather giggles, as Matt asks, “So, what are you expecting me to do with this monstrosity?”

“Well, we just need to find where she is, and then introduce some food for her.”

“Right! Well, I’ll leave you to find her!”

“No, you don’t! I need you to go round the front and see if you can see her. Look on the floor, in amongst the leaf-litter, first. If you can’t see her there, then she’s probably in one of the branches. It depends how hungry she is!”

We get a close-up of the display, and, like Matt, are unable to find the spider.

“No,” Heather confirms, “she’s up here, in this fork in the branch! That’s good! We can drop some food in for her, and leave her in peace!” She hands Matt a jar containing a couple of crickets, that are hopping about.

“They’re alive!” he informs her. “And I thought this thing ate birds.”

“Yeah, we give her live prey. It’s better for her! And she doesn’t just eat birds!”

“What are these things going to do in there, then?”

“Hop about for a bit, until she gets hungry, then she’ll lay in wait in the leaf-litter and strike when they get too close!” Heather explains, with a grin. “Now, drop them in!”

With the crickets in place, she closes the back and they move on to the next display. “Come and meet our Montserrat Tarantula!” Heather encourages Matt. He visibly shudders, when she opens the back of this display. She notices his discomfort, and says, “Don’t worry, she’s lovely! Just make sure you don’t startle her! She’s quite easily frightened!”

“She’s not the only one!” he replies, making Heather laugh. “So, what are we feeding her?”

“We’re not! She had a good meal yesterday, so she’ll be fine for a day or two! We’re just saying hello to her!”

“Hello!” he says to the spider. “Goodbye!” …

… Leaving Matt to his spiders, we turn our attention to the one daredevil we are yet to see this week: Gemma. She is sitting on a sofa in a living room, holding a large towel, with Cherise and another teenage girl.

“Oh my God! There’s Stacie!” exclaims Lissie.

Mairie explains what is happening. “Gemma is trying to work out how to do her first dare: the Pizza Delivery Towel-Drop. As you can see, she’s got Cherise helping her out again, along with her younger sister, Stacie.

“So, how am I doing this, again?” asks Gemma.

“You wrap the towel around you, as if you’ve just got out the shower,” Cherise explains, “then, when the delivery bloke hands you the pizza, the towel drops down to the floor, leaving you naked! Just, make it look like an accident, and act all shocked and embarrassed like!”

“How do I get it to drop without it being obvious what I’m doing?”

“Why don’t you practice?” Stacie suggests.

Gemma looks down at herself, considering her next move.

“Strip to your undies,” Cherise instructs, “and try it out, to see what works best!”

A change of camera angle accompanies a jump forward in time. Gemma, with the towel now wrapped around her, is trying to work out how to make it fall convincingly. She tugs the top, and it drops, to reveal her matching black bra and knickers.

“No, that was too obvious what you were doing!” Cherise advises her. “Don’t tie it so tight to start with!”

She tries twice more, but each time it falls before she wants it to. “It’s too loose,” she remarks, “it won’t stay up!”

“I thought that was the idea!” Stacie states.

“But it’s got to drop at the right moment!” her sister tells her. “I canna just answer the door naked! It’s got to look like an accident!”

“What about if you don’t tie it, but just hold it?” Cherise suggests. “Then, when he gives you the pizza, you have to hold out your hand, and, that way, you can control when it drops!”

“Yeah, that could work! Let’s try! Stace, you be the pizza bloke!”

Stacie goes out of the door, as Gemma wraps the towel around her and holds it in place. Her sister re-enters and pretends to hand Gemma her pizza, at which point she lets go and the towel falls.

“Perfect!” declares Cherise, grabbing her phone. “Right, let’s get ordering!”

“We’re expecting the pizza man any moment, and Gemma’s getting nervous!” Mairie reveals. “Or maybe ‘petrified’ would be more accurate!”

There is a knock on the door, and Gemma looks back at the others, anxiously. Using her arms to keep the towel pressed tightly in place, she clenches her hands together, puts them to her mouth and gives a little blow; then she moves to the door and opens it, holding the towel like before. The camera has been positioned so that we can see the delivery man over her shoulder; it’s a young, olive-skinned lad in his distinctive uniform, holding two large pizza boxes.

“Your pizza!” he informs Gemma, holding them out towards her.

“Thanks!” she replies, and reaches for them. The towel drops once more, only this time Gemma is left standing there naked. “Oh!” she exclaims, as the pizza delivery lad takes a half-step back and his jaw drops. “Fifteen pounds, yeah?” she says, holding out the money in her other hand.

“Er, yeah!” he says, not knowing where to look. It’s hard to tell which of the two is more embarrassed!

When he doesn’t make a move to take the money, Gemma is forced take a couple of steps towards him. Her bum cheeks wobble as she does so, making Stacie snigger. Once she’s handed over the money, she steps back, thanks the delivery lad, and shuts the door. She puts the pizza boxes down and picks up the towel, wrapping it around herself, before turning to face the others.

“Oh my God, that was so embarrassing!” she admits.

“It was so funny!” Stacie corrects. “Did you see the look on his face?!”

“Is that what you were laughing at?”

“No,” her sister admits, “that was your wobbly bum!”

“Oh, thanks a lot!”

“Go on, Gemma,” Cherise chides, “admit it, you enjoyed that!”

“You are so bad, Cherise!” Gemma tells her. She grins and adds, “But I did a bit!”

“Wow!” exclaims Trixie. “That was … unexpected!”

“I think she traumatised the pizza guy!” quips Joe.

“He certainly didn’t know what to do with himself!” she agrees.

“I think he should treat it as an extra-special tip!”

Trixie shakes her head, but chooses not to comment, instead continuing with her scripted lead into the next advert break. “So far, then, our daredevils are rising to the challenge of facing their fears; but how much longer will they be able to go, before the dares become too much for them? Join us, after the break, to find out! See you shortly!”

Very unusually, Lissie doesn’t have anything to say, as the adverts begin. Maybe, having just seen Gemma naked, she is only too aware that Maddie’s exposure is looming on the horizon. Maddie is certainly very aware of it, judging by the tight grip she has on my arm! I gently prise her fingers off, allowing me to put my arm around her. She snuggles a little closer into me, and puts a hand on my leg, instead.

Poor Maddie! This whole evening is like a slow torture for her!

[alli55]

There is a strange atmosphere in our living room, as four of us wait, with varying levels of trepidation and anxiety, for what we suspect is coming. Rayna, of course, is unaware of what Maddie got up to last Thursday afternoon, but realises something unusual is going on.

Maddie’s phone warbles, and, automatically, she reaches for it and checks the incoming message. For the first time this evening, she chuckles, her mood briefly lightened. “Stacie says she still thinks Gemma’s wobbly bum is hilarious!” she tells us. Her smile quickly fades, as some much darker thought sweeps across her mind. She looks at me, and I can see the apprehension in her eyes and the quiver of her bottom lip. All I can do is hold her, and hope against all hope that the Britain’s Most Daring producers have decided not to use the footage of her. Not that I think there’s much chance of that! And the closer we get to the nine o’clock watershed without seeing it, the more I think she’s not even going to have her blushes spared by having her bits pixelated. I take a deep breath, and try to prepare myself for some serious emotional support-work.

“Welcome back!” Trixie says, smiling broadly.

“Window-cleaning 300 feet in the air; handling venomous snakes; flashing the pizza delivery bloke;” Joe summarises for us, “what haven’t we done yet? Oh yes, spooky, haunted house, at night!”

“All you had to do was ask,” Trixie laughs, “and, ‘hey presto!’”

“Here’s wor very own scruffy genie!” grins Joe.

“Welcome to Aston Hall!” Richie greets us, indicating to a very impressive building, with a tower on each wing and another in the centre, above the main entrance. “Built in the 17th century, it was the home of Thomas Holte and his family, and is now said to be the most haunted house in the West Midlands, and one of the most haunted in Britain!”

The camera pans left a little, bringing Jaz into shot. She is looking more than a little nervous.

“So, Jaz, how do you feel about staying the night here?” he asks her.

“Scared! Now you’ve told me it’s haunted, I’m going to be imagining all sorts of things in the dark!”

“Well, it’s the White Lady you’ve got to watch out for, or the Green Lady, take your pick!” he tells her. “Thomas Holte was a brutally strict father, even by 17th century standards, and when he learned of his teenage daughter’s plans to marry a man of whom he didn’t approve, he locked her in her bedroom in the tower, and kept her locked up for 16 years; eventually, she went mad and died, without ever being freed. Visitors have reported seeing her gliding along the top floors of the mansion, where she died.”

“Which one is that, the White Lady or the Green Lady?”

“She’s the White Lady! The Green Lady is even more freaky!”

“Really?”

“Yes! People mistake her for a member of staff, because of her green clothes, and ask her for help or directions. But all she does is disappear through the nearest wall!” He pauses, before offering Jaz a piece of advice: “So, maybe don’t ask for room service!”

Inside the house, it is already starting to get dark, as Richie and Jaz begin their ascent of the main staircase. Everything about the house is impressively built, on a grand scale, but Jaz, in particular, isn’t paying much attention to the décor; she’s more concerned about where, exactly, she’ll be sleeping tonight.

“I’m going to be on the top floor, aren’t I?!” she asks Richie.

“Yep!” he confirms.

“In the tower?!”

“Yep!”

“In the room she was locked up in, and died in?!”

“No-one is really sure which room that is, but let’s just say ‘yep’, shall we?” he jokes.

“And where are you going to be?”

“In a hotel half a mile down the road!” She looks at him, alarm etched on her face. “Kidding!” he chuckles. “I’ll be just down the corridor!”

“Don’t do that to me!” she scolds, giving his arm a slap. …

… In a classroom at Chester Zoo, a Year 5 class from a local primary school is waiting as patiently as is possible for kids that age! As part of their school trip, they are being given a talk on spiders, something Heather does frequently. Today, she has an assistant, in the form of Matt. Before they go in, she preps him.

“So, all you have to do is get the spiders out of the carrying jars we put them in earlier, one at a time, and allow the kids to get a good look, if they want,” she tells him.

“What do I do with them, when they’re out?”

“Just let them look at the spiders!”

“I meant the spiders! What do I do with them?”

“I know what you meant! I was just messing!” she laughs.

“Right! So, what do I do with the spiders?”

“Just let them sit on your hand!”

“What if they start wandering off?”

“Are we talking about the kids or the spiders?”

“The spiders! I’m leaving the kids to you!”

“Move your other hand so that they walk onto that!” she instructs, demonstrating the required movement with her hands. “Right, come on, let’s get in there!” She picks up the crate containing two covered jars, and pushes the door with her foot.

The opening part of the talk has gone well, and Heather is now ready to introduce the children to the first spider.

“Okay, everyone,” she says to them, “shall we get Monty out?” Most of them want her to, though a few aren’t so sure, so she turns to Matt and nods.

“Monty is a Montserrat Tarantula,” she continues, as Matt takes the lid off the jar and cautiously puts a hand in, gently taking hold of the spider within. Presumably used to being handled, it crawls onto his hand, and he brings it out to show the kids. As Heather tells them about the spider, Matt stands and does the hand thing, as Monty decides to go for a wander. It’s all going well, until Monty decides to change direction, and starts crawling up his arm. He looks across at Heather, for help, but Monty reaches his elbow before she notices what’s going on. She crosses to him and scoops Monty off, putting it back on his other hand.

“She likes to go exploring!” Heather explains to the children, a number of whom are giggling at Monty’s antics. “Who’d like to give her a little stroke?” she asks, and a smattering of hands go up. She encourages them to come out and form a queue, whilst Matt holds Monty for the kids to touch and Heather fields various questions that the children have. …

… There is a sudden switch to black-and-white imagery, as we begin watching footage shot using a night-vision camera. We are in a room that is lit only by the light of the crescent moon coming in through the window. It is a typical hotel room, with the usual furnishings around the edge, and a bed centrally placed against one wall. On the bed, a young woman is sat, with her hands on her shoulders and her arms pulled into a tight X-shape across her chest. Clearly, Jaz is on edge!

“This is really creepy!” she declares. “How long have I been here?”

“About 20 minutes!” we hear Richie tell her.

“I don’t know how I’m going to survive all night! There’s no way I’m going to get any sleep!” She gets up, crosses to the window, and looks out. On a whim, she turns to Richie, and asks, “Would it be better if I close the curtains, d’you think? I might try that!” She pulls the curtains together, and returns to the bed. The contrast between the lighter and darker parts of the room is not so strong now, but it doesn’t seem to have settled Jaz’s nerves. “I don’t know if that’s better or worse!” she confesses.

A sudden knock on the door startles her, and she stares, wide-eyed, into the camera. “That’ll be Nat!” Richie says, and he lets the newcomer in. “Nat, this is Jaz! She wants to know a bit more about your ghost!”

“Do I?” asks Jaz.

Nat laughs, and shakes her hand. “Well, hopefully, we can do better than that!” he says. “If you’re lucky, you might get to meet her yourself!” Jaz looks at him, uncertainly, as he continues, “We had a really good sighting last week! In the room next to this one! There was a youngish couple staying there, and he woke up and saw the White Lady standing in the middle of the room. She was only there for a couple of seconds, but he got a really good look, and, from his description, it was definitely her! So, hopefully, she’s on one of her busy periods! She does that! We can go for ages without seeing her, and then we get three or four sightings in a couple of weeks. I don’t know why!”

“So, are we going ghost hunting?” Jaz checks.

“Well, you said you weren’t going to get any sleep,” Richie points out, “so, we might as well do something while we’re here!”

There follows a brief collection of clips of Nat, Richie, and Jaz prowling the corridors and rooms of Aston Hall, as we listen to the ‘Ghostbusters’ theme song. But, sadly, despite the constant sense that something creepy is about to occur, there is no sign of the White Lady.

“How was that?” Richie asks Jaz, as dawn’s early light begins to break through the window of her room.

“I’m glad it’s over!” she admits. “I don’t believe in ghosts, but Nat really does, and he kind of makes you do as well! So, I’m glad we didn’t see anything, ’cos that kind of proves me right, and ’cos, if we had, I’d have properly freaked out!” …

… Back at Chester Zoo, Monty has been put back in her jar, and Heather asks the children, “Would you like to see who else we’ve brought with us?” A chorus of yes’s goes up, so she nods to Matt and waits for him to get the bird-eating spider out of its jar … that’s the much, much larger spider!

He takes a deep breath, grimaces, and plunges his hand in, trying to coax the spider out. It’s a little reluctant, but enough of it is on his hand for him to extract it from the container. Once out, it proves a real handful, forcing Heather to come across and help Matt out.

“This is Lisa,” she tells the kids, “our Salmon Pink Bird-Eating Spider.”

“Lisa?” Matt chuckles. “Wait ’til I tell her!”

“She’s from Brazil, …” Heather continues, before breaking off and instructing Matt, “best put her on the table and just stop her from getting off!” Once she’s on the hard surface, Lisa settles a bit, as Heather tells the children all about her. Matt watches the spider’s every slight movement, suspiciously, but she seems to be fairly content where she is, fortunately.

“How did the spider talk go?” Lisa, the BMD reporter, asks Matt, once it is all over.

“Yeah, it was okay!” he tells her, and grins, mischievously. “You were a bit of a handful, though!”

“Me?”

“Yeah, the big spider’s called Lisa! Rather appropriate, I thought: big and scary …!”

“You haven’t seen me scary!” she warns him. …

… If it’s scary presenters you want, then we next see the jewel in the crown: Lowri! She’s standing in the middle of a row of firefighters, her arms around the two either side of her! Dylan is also there, looking uncomfortable and nervous.

“We’re here at the South Wales Fire Service’s training centre at Cardiff Gate,” she informs us, “with some very hunky firemen, who can come and rescue me any time they want!” She gives the two next to her a squeeze, making one grin and the other squirm. “Dafydd, here,” she continues, giving her grinning neighbour another squeeze, “is the man in charge. So, Dafydd, what have you got lined up for Dylan?”

“We’re going to take him up to the top of our training tower, and then he’s going to abseil down the side of the tower,” Dafydd states.

“Oh, no, he’s not!” Dylan says, emphatically.

“What do you mean, ‘no’? You can do that!” Lowri assures him.

“No, I can’t!”

“You have to, if you want to be champion!”

“I can’t!”

“Do it for your millions of fans!” she urges.

“I haven’t got millions of fans!” he retorts.

“Well, do it for me, then!”

“I’m not doing it,” Dylan states, adamantly, “and that’s all I’ve got to say!”

Lowri approaches the camera, leans in close, and whispers, “I’ll work on him!”

“That’s the scariest thing yet!” Joe remarks, as we return to the two presenters in the studio.

“Mmm!” Trixie replies.

“Poor Dylan!” Joe continues. “I dread to think what she’s going to do when she works on him! But it’s not going to be pretty, you can bet on that!”

“It doesn’t bear thinking about!” agrees Trixie.

“I’ll take the White Lady or Lisa the spider over Lowri, anytime!” Joe quips.

“Lisa was cute!” Trixie reflects.

“What, the spider?” Joe checks.

“Yes, the spider!” she smiles. “Anyway, what we’ve seen so far is nothing, compared to what’s still in store for our daredevils, as they face their fears! Join us, after the break, when the stakes are raised even further, and they’re really put to the test! We’re back, after this!”

That sounded ominous, given what we know of Gemma’s dares this week! What we do know, for sure, is that, if Maddie’s exposure is going to be shown, it will be in the next part of the show. Maddie, of course, has worked this out, and is looking more tormented than ever. There are no words I can give her to make it go away; and I can say nothing at all with Rayna present and still unaware of what’s going on.

Boy, is she in for a surprise, shortly!

[alli55]

I’m considering the possibility that it might be better to give Rayna some sort of forewarning, but I’m not sure! I catch Lissie’s eye, and tilt my head in Rayna’s direction whilst looking questioningly at my youngest. She shakes her head in reply. Well, that settles that, then!

I take another glance at Maddie, curled up next to me. You know when you want something to be over without it actually happening? Well, that’s how we both feel right now! But life’s not that simple, is it?!

“Hello!” cries Trixie. “It’s Face Your Fears this week on Britain’s Most Daring, and we’ve already seen some tough challenges!”

“But we’re really going to ramp things up, now,” Joe continues, “and push wor daredevils to their limits …!”

“… And beyond!” adds Trixie. “Let’s see whether they can handle it!”

Mairie is stood on a deserted beach; deserted, that is, except for the three young women standing at the water’s edge in their bikinis.

As soon as we see Gemma, Cherise, and Maddie on the beach, we know what’s coming! Maddie reaches for my hand and grips it, as the events unfold.

“Gemma has been dared to go skinny-dipping,” Mairie tells us, “so she’s brought Cherise and Maddie along for support. I’ve dipped my toe in the water, and all I can say is, ‘rather them than me!’”

The camera zooms in on the three teenagers, and we can see that Maddie is actually in her underwear, rather than a bikini.

Rayna glances at Maddie, who remains focussed on the TV screen.

“Watch this, Rayna!” Lissie instructs her friend. “It’s the most awesome thing ever!”

With Maddie on TV, and Lissie, apparently, knowing what’s about to happen, Rayna realises that something’s going on. It seems to be making her rather anxious.

“Right! Tops off!” orders Cherise, and the three girls remove their tops, dropping them onto the sand at their feet.

Maddie’s grip on my hand tightens. Rayna starts to glance again, but then has second thoughts and decides against it.

“On three! One, two, three!” says Cherise. She and Maddie pull their last remaining piece of clothing off, and sprint into the sea, not stopping until the water is three-quarters of the way up their backs. Gemma also runs into the sea, but keeps her bikini bottoms on.

“Oh my God!” gasps Rayna, steadfastly resisting the temptation to turn and gawp at Maddie.

“How brave is that!” Lissie says, proudly. “That’s so awesome that you’d do that to help Gemma!”

“Yeah, Maddie, that’s amazing!” agrees Rayna, looking round and smiling.

“Gemma has been persuaded to take her bottoms off so she can complete her dare, as you can see!” Mairie continues, as we see Gemma waving them around above her head to prove the point. The three girls are clearly adrenaline-fuelled, as the squealing and shrieking and giggling testifies. We imagine that it’s the adrenaline that’s helping them to resist the coldness of the North Sea.

Maddie knows, of course, what’s coming next! So far, we’ve only seen her from behind, but that’s about to change! What we don’t know is whether she’s going to be pixelated or whether she’s going to be shown to the viewers in all her glory.

Gemma puts her hands back under the water, and bends down, putting her bottoms back on; then, she turns and heads towards us and the beach. Maddie follows suit, and the two emerge from the sea, Gemma topless and Maddie stark naked.

And not pixelated!

Maddie buries her face against my side, unable to watch herself exposed to the nation. Lissie casts a concerned look in her sister’s direction, and I reassure her with a nod and a smile. I pull Maddie in tighter to me and, instinctively, gently stroke her head.

As Gemma picks up Cherise’s bikini and heads back out to her waiting friend, Mairie moves in to have a chat with Maddie, who is still naked.

“Maddie, what did that feel like?” she asks.

“It was a bit cold!” begins Maddie. “But, apart from that, it was alright! It was so unreal, you know, almost like it was someone else doing it and not me!”

The girls have got dressed again by the time Mairie asks Gemma, “How was that?”

“I canna believe I actually did that!” she declares. “I wouldn’t have done, without these two!” she adds, pulling Cherise and Maddie into shot. All three girls are smiling broadly as we leave the beach and head for somewhere far more sinister. …

… Back in night-vision black-and-white, we appear to be outside a graveyard.

I tap Maddie’s arm. “It’s over, pet! You can come out now!” I gently tell her.

Lissie and Rayna both tear themselves away from the screen long enough to give Maddie a sympathetic and admiring smile. I get the feeling they both have plenty they want to say to her, but, for now, they are intent on seeing what’s happening next on Britain’s Most Daring.

“This,” begins Richie, indicating to the large iron gates set in an archway of a gothic-looking building, “is the entrance to Warstone Lane Cemetery, said to be the most haunted place in Birmingham! We’re talking not one, not two, not even three, but four different ghosts, with hundreds of reported sightings! So, guess where Jaz is spending the night!”

“Four ghosts?!” we hear Jaz exclaim.

“Yeah, but you don’t believe in them, remember!” Richie reminds her.

“Yeah, I know, but …”

“Come on, let’s go in,” he encourages, “and I’ll tell you all about them!”

As they amble slowly along the path, with headstones looming out of the darkness on either side, Richie continues, “So, the one seen most often is a woman dressed in 1930’s attire. She walks through walls and parked cars, and she even caused a car crash one time, when she distracted the driver by smiling at him! Lots of people who’ve seen her say they can smell pear drops when she’s about, which is what arsenic smells like, so it could be that she was poisoned. Then there’s the young woman who sits on the top of a tombstone near the entrance to the cemetery, sometimes crying, sometimes just sitting. There’s also a young man in a World War 2 army coat, who sits near the catacombs; and people have actually had a conversation with him, then turned to find he’s vanished! And then, of course, there’s John Baskerville, who’s been buried, dug up, and reburied more times than I’ve had hot dinners! He ended up being interred in the catacombs, where he’s been seen wandering around, looking really miserable. I don’t think you can blame him, really!”

Suddenly, from off to one side, we hear a loud, high-pitched scream. “Oh my God! What was that?” Jaz shrieks, grabbing Richie’s arm. They look in the direction of the scream, and we follow their gaze, looking over Jaz’s shoulder. “I can’t see anything!” she states. “What would have made that noise? D’you think someone’s being attacked?” she asks, letting her imagination run away with her.

“It’s a fox!” a male voice tells her, as we zoom in on the offending creature, just as it lets out another ear-piercing scream.

“Really? Making that noise?”

“Yeah! It’s over towards the wall there!”

When we pan back to focus on her once more, Jaz is clinging to Richie. “God, I’m shaking like a leaf!” she exclaims. “My nerves are shot to pieces!”

“You’ll be alright!” he assures her. “Come on, the catacombs are just up this way!” …

… Lowri has, somehow, managed to get Dylan onto the top of the training tower, where they are standing with Dafydd. Dylan is making sure he’s staying well back from the edge!

“Alright,” Dafydd says, “let’s get you hooked up!”

“I’m not doing it!” Dylan insists.

“Oh, you might as well,” Lowri urges, “you’ve come this far!”

“No! No way!”

“What if I go first?” she suggests.

“You can do it if you want,” he informs her, “but there’s no way you’re getting me over the edge!” He turns and heads for the stairs.

“Oh, well, I tried!” Lowri says into camera. She turns to Dafydd, and adds, “Come on then, Dafydd, rope me up! I haven’t come all the way up here for nothing!” …

… Still on the beach, Marie asks Gemma, “Are you ready for your next dare?”

“No!” she replies, honestly. “I’m dreading what you might be getting us to do next!”

“Oh! … Well! … Anyway! …” begins Mairie, “You have to streak, completely naked, across a sports pitch, while a game is in play!”

“Oh, man! How am I going to do that?”

We switch to a cricket ground, where a match is being played in front of a handful of vaguely-interested spectators. Gemma and Cherise are stood on the boundary, deep in conversation.

“Well, Cherise has got Gemma as far as the sports pitch,” we hear Mairie tell us, “but she’s having trouble persuading her to streak!”

We see Gemma shaking her head, as Cherise continues her encouragement, pointing out a possible route across the pitch. Then, without warning, Gemma presses herself tightly against Cherise, and puts her head on her friend’s shoulder. Cherise wraps her arms around the daredevil, who, it appears, is crying her eyes out.

When we catch up with Cherise, there is no sign of Gemma. “She can’t do it!” Cherise tells Mairie. “She really wanted to, but she just can’t! I’m not pushing her anymore!”

“Is she okay?” Mairie asks, with concern in her voice.

“She’s in the toilets. I’ll go and check on her in a minute!” …

… Back in the cemetery, Jaz and Richie have reached the catacombs. With white doors, set into the semi-circular stone walls, on two levels, it looks really imposing and sinister, particularly when viewed, head-on, through the tombstones on the grass in front of them.

“I really don’t like this! It’s properly giving me the creeps!” Jaz announces. “I want to go!” The fox screams again, hammering the final nail into the coffin of Jaz’s resolve. “That’s it!” she declares. “I can’t stay here any longer! I just can’t!”

“It’s just a fox!” Richie reminds her.

“I know, but I don’t care! I just can’t do this anymore! Can we just go? Please? I’m starting to feel sick!”

“If you’re sure …”

“Yeah, I am! I want to go home! Please?”

“Come on then!” he tells her, putting an arm around her shoulder. …

… Matt is standing, in just a pair of tight-fitting cycling shorts, next to a person-sized see-through perspex tube. Lisa is with him, and says, “So, Matt, I see you’ve got yourself ready for your next dare!”

“Yeah,” he grins, looking himself up and down.

“Right, then, pop yourself into the tube!” she instructs, and helps him to slide in, feet first, until he’s completely encased inside. She then closes the door-cum-lid, sealing him in. Turning her attention to a panel on the top of the tube, she slides it back to reveal a small hole. “Okay,” she says to someone out of shot, “bring them in!” A young man appears, holding a jar, in which there is a collection of large house spiders. “Are you alright in there, Matt?” Lisa checks.

“Yeah! Why?” he asks, eyeing the jar suspiciously.

“We’re just going to let your friends join you!” she replies.

“What?!”

“We’ve got a few eight-legged friends for you, and we’re just going to drop them in through the trapdoor! Okay?”

His body visibly tenses, as he steels himself for the arrival of the spiders. He attempts to distract himself with some humour. “Now I see why you made me wear tight shorts! You wouldn’t want these babies crawling around where they’re not supposed to, would you!?”

“You certainly wouldn’t!” Lisa agrees.

As the spiders drop onto his body and begin scuttling this way and that, Matt squirms. But, he has nowhere to go, and simply has to overcome his fears and allow the spiders to find themselves a place to settle. His face shows just how much he is having to fight his fear, making the fact that he’s in there all the more impressive!

“How’s it going?” Lisa asks him.

Sticking with humour as a coping mechanism, he says, “I’m not a celebrity, but you can get me out of here anyway! Anytime you want!”

Safely out of the tube, Matt tells Lisa, “Don’t you ever do that to me again!”

“What was it like?”

“Horrible! I could feel their legs kind of tapping on me when they ran about! And there were a lot of legs in there!”

On our return to the studio, we can see the four daredevils sat in the familiar row of chairs. Trixie and Joe are standing at either end of the row.

“So, Matt,” Trixie asks, “have we cured your arachnophobia?”

“No! You’ve just made me never want see another spider in my life!”

“How was Lisa?”

Matt looks a little puzzled. “She was fine,” he replies, cautiously.

“I meant, Lisa the spider!” Trixie clarifies.

“Oh! Yeah, she was fine as well! She’s probably better behaved!”

“Okay, well, very well done, Matt! Let’s see how the DAPAs rate your performance!”

Very highly, is the answer: Dan awards 9 points and Danielle 8, giving Matt 17 in total, and virtually guaranteeing him a place in next week’s Grand Final. He is suitably delighted.

“Gemma, that looked really tough for you!” Joe empathises.

“Yeah, it was!” she admits. “If it wasn’t for Cherise, and Maddie of course, I probably couldn’t have done any of it!”

I squeeze Maddie’s hand, and Lissie and Rayna both look round at her and smile warmly. She returns my squeeze and smiles back at the girls.

“Any thoughts about your score?” he asks.

“Not really! It won’t be very good, will it?!”

“Let’s see! D ’n’ D, what’s it to be?”

Danielle is first to press her keypad, giving Gemma 5 points; Dan follows with 6. Her total of 11 leaves her facing a likely Dare-Off.

Lissie groans, and Maddie leans her head against my shoulder.

“Let’s just see!” I advise them, with no confidence whatsoever.

“How many ghosts did you actually see?” Trixie asks Jaz.

“None! Which is good, ’cos there’s no such thing!”

“It didn’t look like you were convinced about that in the cemetery!”

“It was the flippin’ fox that kept freaking me out! Every time it screamed, it sounded like someone was being brutally murdered! It was terrifying!”

“How do you think you’ve done?”

“I don’t know! I kind of did most of them, but I don’t know!”

“Well, let’s find out! DAPAs …?”

Dan’s 8 points looks promising, and Danielle awards 7, giving Jaz 15 and a chance of going straight through to the Grand Final.

Well, now we know for certain that Gemma is in the Dare-Off. The tension is mounting rapidly!

“Dylan, I’ve got to say, you showed remarkable bravery there!” Joe congratulates the flame-haired teen.

“Thanks! But I didn’t really do much …” Dylan starts to answer.

“I didn’t mean going up in the air!” Joe interrupts. “I meant standing up to wor Lowri like you did!”

“Oh! Right!” laughs Dylan. “Yeah, she can be quite scary!”

“So, how do you think you’ve done, with the dare?”

“Not very well! I’ll be in the Dare-Off, definitely!”

“DAPAs, maybe break it to him gently!” Joe suggests.

6 from each DAPA means Dylan, with a total of 12, is indeed in the Dare-Off, going head-to-head with Gemma for the final place on next week’s series-ending show.

“So, congratulations to Matt on a really impressive win this week, and well done to Jaz for making the Grand Final!” Trixie summarises. “After the break, we’ll see who else will be joining them, as Gemma and Dylan battle for the last place in our Grand Final! Don’t go anywhere, this is not to be missed! We’re back soon!”

“And we’ll leave you with this!” Joe adds, and turns to the big screen.

As we go to the advert break, footage of Lowri abseiling down the side of the tower takes us there.

Rayna turns to Maddie. “That was really brave, what you did!” she tells her, admiringly.

“Thank you, Rayna!” Maddie smiles. Her phone warbles; the first of what we are expecting to be many messages has arrived! However uncertain she is about how her naked exploits will be perceived by her friends, Maddie can’t stop herself from looking to see what it says. “Oh, Stacie!” she exclaims. “Oh, you darlin’! Look, Mam! Look what she’s put!” She hands me her phone and I read the latest WhatsApp post.

‘Massive respect to Maddie for helping Gemma like that! So brave! So brilliant! That’s what a true friend is!! Luv ya Maddie!!!’

Even as I’m reading, her phone is warbling away, and it’s joined in its noise-making by Lissie’s and Rayna’s.

“Oh, that’s really nice!” I remark, handing her phone back.

She checks the latest messages. “She’s posted the same one on every group!”

“It’s on Gemma’s group!” Lissie confirms.

Maddie begins tapping out a message of her own; she presses send, looks up, hands me the phone, and says, “There!”

“Ah, I like that!” I tell her, when I’ve read it. Lissie holds her hand out, and, after checking with Maddie for permission, I give her the phone.

“‘Thanks, Stacie. You’d have done the same for me. Luv ya too!! Friends 4eva!!!’” she reads aloud. “Aww, that’s really lovely!”

[alli55]

With her sister alright for the moment, Lissie turns her attention to the impending Dare-Off. “What do you think they’re going to have to do for the Dare-Off?” she asks. “They’re not going to try and make Gemma get naked, are they?”

“I wouldn’t have thought so!” Phil answers. “I don’t think it will have anything to do with their fears! Those were all so different, it would be impossible to do!”

“So, what, then?” Lissie enquires.

It’s another of her impossible-to-answer questions, as her Dad points out: “How am I supposed to know?”

“Maybe it’ll be another round of the truth game!” I suggest.

“I hope so, ’cos Gemma was really good at that!” Lissie says, perking up a little.

Maddie’s phone warbles again.

“Best put that on silent, for now!” I tell her, as the theme music starts up once more. “And you two, please!” I instruct Lissie and Rayna.

“Welcome back to Britain’s Most Daring!” Trixie beams.

“Before the break, we saw Matt face his fear of spiders and come out on top, winning this week’s show!” Joe reminds us.

“Joining Matt in our Grand Final will be Jaz, who dealt with her dread of the dark impressively, despite the best efforts of a very noise fox!” adds Trixie.

“Which means there’s one more place on next week’s finale up for grabs!” Joe states. “But will it be Gemma or Dylan who will be taking that place?”

“It’s time to find out,” Trixie declares, “as they go up against each other in tonight’s Live Head-To-Head Dare-Off!”

“So, Dylan, Gemma, come and join us!” instructs Joe, and the two daredevils walk across to join him and his co-presenter.

“You’ve only been in the Dare-Off once before, Dylan, so how are you feeling?” Trixie asks.

“Really, really nervous!” he confesses. “I’ve got this far; I don’t want to go out now!”

“Gemma, you’ve done two Dare-Offs, is that going to help?” Joe enquires.

“I doubt it!” she says. Candidly, she adds, “I’m cacking myself!”

“Right! … Well, …” begins Trixie, “let’s find out what you’re going to have to do! Here’s the Dare Deliverer once more!”

“Well, my little not-quite-brave-enough-hearts,” the sultry voice teases, “if you want to be in next week’s Grand Final, you’re going to have to pass one more test of nerve! You can stop the torture at any time, but the first one to do so will be going home tonight … and you don’t want that, not after all this time and effort! So be brave, stay strong, and hold your nerve! Good luck, little ones, and remember, the toughest nuts can’t be cracked!”

Over by the familiar circular cubicles, Trixie grins, “Well, that’s bound sure to have eased their minds!”

“Yeah, cheers DD!” chuckles Joe, as he gently propels the two daredevils forward, walking with them across the studio to join Trixie.

Trixie explains the dare, to us and to Gemma and Dylan. “So, we have pored over social media, dug through old photo-albums, and raided every possible source for some very special pictures! We have a set of photos that, shall we say, you may well not want to share … and that’s exactly what we’re going to do with them: share them, via social media, with all the contacts on your phone! Oh, yes, did I mention we’ve taken that as well!”

Gemma and Dylan both shudder, as the nature of the dare hits them. They both look extremely worried about exactly what these pictures might be.

“Now, remember what DD told you!” Joe tells them. “You can stop this at any time. For each photo, you’ll have 5 seconds to decide. If you press ‘stop’ before the time’s up, then we won’t send that photo; but once the 5 seconds has elapsed, the photo will be winging its way to everyone on your contacts list!”

“The first one to press ‘stop’ will have lost the dare,” Trixie points out, “and will be leaving the show tonight. Do you understand?”

The daredevils nod, and they are then escorted to their cubicles, Joe taking Gemma and Trixie going with Dylan. In each cubicle there is a TV screen, on which the pictures will appear, and a keypad with a single red button: the button that will stop the release of the picture and end both their ordeal and their hopes of being crowned Britain’s Most Daring.

“Okay,” Trixie instructs, “let’s show them their first photo!”

Since they have 5 seconds to prevent the picture from going public, we simply see the reactions of the two daredevils, without seeing the pictures themselves. On seeing their first photo, both Gemma and Dylan laugh; neither presses their button.

“So, explain this!” Joe tells Gemma, as we get our look at the photo: a blonde-haired 3-year-old girl is holding a child’s toy handbag, into which has been spooned some sort of chocolate pudding.

“I really liked chocolate pudding when I was little, so I decided to save some for when I got hungry, and my handbag was the obvious place to keep it!” she laughs.

My phone pings, announcing the arrival of a message. I ignore it.

“And what’s this?” Trixie asks Dylan, as we look at a 4-year-old boy sitting in a young child’s chair, wearing a shirt, underpants, and his mum’s knee-length boots!

“That’s me being a pirate!” Dylan explains. “Obviously!”

“Okay, let’s have the next photo, please!” Joe requests.

Once more Gemma laughs, but, this time, Dylan looks embarrassed. But, both photos go public.

A 12-year-old boy is taking a selfie, attempting to look cool, in Top Gun shades, but has succeeded only in looking extremely awkward and uncool.

“Well, Dylan?” Trixie enquires.

“What can I say? God knows what I thought I looked like!”

My phone pings again. Lissie looks over at me, but, once more, I ignore it.

“Gemma, big baguette fan?” asks Joe, as the photo is put onscreen. Gemma, looking about 8, is sat on a bench with a friend, possibly a young Cherise. Her friend is holding up a large tomato in each hand; Gemma has a baguette, inappropriately propped up in her lap.

Her line of defence is simple: “You don’t think of things like that when you’re little, do you?!”

The third photos, which neither of them chooses to stop the release of, are more cute-but-embarrassing pictures of the daredevils in their early years. Gemma, in close-up, is looking into the camera, with one finger stuck firmly up a nostril; Dylan is sitting on the toilet, naked, studying a well-placed magazine that is balanced across his thighs.

Again, my phone pings. Maddie puts two and two together. “You must be on Gemma’s contacts!” she tells me, picking up my phone. “Yeah, see!” She shows me the latest message to arrive: a photo of a young child with her finger up her nose.

The fourth photo causes Gemma to put a hand over her face, in an attempt to hide her embarrassment, but she doesn’t press the button. Dylan looks even more embarrassed, but also allows the picture to be sent.

“What have you got to say for yourself, young lady?” Joe asks her, as we see the photo. A young teenage girl, and two slightly younger children, a girl and a boy, are posing as rappers or popstars; the older girl, Gemma, appears to have inadvertently placed her hand on the boy’s crotch.

“Oh my God, it’s not what it looks! I don’t think I was even touching it!” she insists.

This time we’re ready for the ping, knowing that the photo of Gemma, Stacie, and the boy that Maddie doesn’t recognise has arrived on my phone.

“If you ask her nicely, I’m sure Jaz will tell you how to do it properly!” Joe chuckles. Over a brief shot of Jaz turning bright red again, we hear Gemma laugh as Joe adds, “And if Marcus is around, she’ll probably show you!”

“Dylan …?” is all Trixie has to say. Three attractive young teenage girls, in bikinis, stare out of the screen at us, smiling broadly. Behind them, entering the sea with his back to the camera, is Dylan, who is having a wardrobe malfunction: his swimmers have slipped down, revealing his bare bum!

“Where’d you get that?” he asks in return. “I don’t even know them!”

The photos are getting racier and more embarrassing now, and both Dylan and Gemma think about pressing the button when they see the next picture. In fact, Gemma does press it, but not before the 5 seconds has elapsed. She looks at Joe, unsure whether she’s stopped the picture being sent or not.

“Gemma, did you want that getting out?” he checks.

“Not really! Did I stop it in time?”

“Nope!”

She puts her head in her hands, as we see the offending photo, which must be fairly recent, as she looks pretty much the same as she does now. She is bending down, getting something out of her bag; unfortunately, her loose-fitting jumper has ridden up, and we can see the bottom half of her boobs, revealing that she’s not wearing a bra.

“Stacie, I could kill you!” she mutters, giving us a clue as to who took the picture.

“I remember her taking that picture!” Maddie informs us, as my phone pings again. “We laughed so hard our sides really hurt!”

“I take it you know this young lady!” Trixie says to Dylan. The photo is similar to his last one, only this time there’s only one bikini-clad girl, whom Dylan is holding around the waist. He is wearing swimmers, which are tenting in a very noticeable manner!

“You know how it is, when you’re that age! It’s got a mind of its own!” he says, his face turning as red as his hair.

“Apparently so!” she smirks.

“Oh, God!” he says, holding his head in his hands. “You can’t have got any more!”

“Oh, can’t we?” replies Trixie. “Next photo, please!”

This time, Gemma’s reaction is instant. She slams her hand down on the red button and brings the Dare-Off to an end.

“Nooo-oooo!” cries Lissie, all her hopes dashed in that single moment. She buries her head in her pillow, unable to watch.

“Blimey, that must have been a bad one!” Phil remarks.

Dylan, meanwhile, possibly distracted by the audience’s reaction to Gemma’s button-pushing, has let the 5 seconds pass. Does this mean his latest picture will be released, or has he been saved by the Dare-Off finishing?

“Dylan,” Trixie asks, “you’re letting this go public?” We see a selfie that Dylan has taken in the last year or so, in which he is facing us, smiling and looking straight at the camera … wearing nothing but his smile!

“Oh God,” he cries, “didn’t I press it? Oh my God! You’ve sent it, haven’t you? Oh, my poor Grandma! Oh God!”

“Well, on the plus side,” Trixie tells him, “we’ll be seeing you in the Grand Final next week! Though maybe not quite that much of you! So, why don’t you go and have a sit down!”

“Maybe you can have a think about what you’re going to tell Grandma!” sniggers Joe.

Trixie moves into position as Joe fetches Gemma from her cubicle and places her between Trixie and himself.

“So, Gemma, you clearly didn’t want that one getting out!” Joe remarks.

“No, I couldn’t!” she tells him. “I canna let my boss see that! Or my Nanna!”

“Well, unfortunately, it means we’re going to have to say goodbye to you,” Trixie points out. “How’s it been, being part of Britain’s Most Daring?”

“It’s been amazing and brilliant!” she enthuses. “I’ve had such a good time, and done so many brilliant things!” Her voice starts to waver as her emotions begin to get the better of her. “I’ve loved it, I really have! … Oh, I’m sorry, … sorry …” She puts her hands over her face as tears start to roll down her cheeks.

Joe throws an arm around her and she puts her head on his shoulder as her tears flow.

“Let’s take a look at some of the fantastic moments that Gemma’s given us!” says Trixie, hurriedly introducing the farewell montage, trying to help Gemma out of her predicament.

“Somewhere over the rainbow, … way up high, …” Gemma sings, in a tender, fragile voice, at the Heads Together Concert, “there’s a land that I heard of, once, in a lullaby.” Her singing, backed by the other members of the BMD Northern Singers, continues as a background to the rest of the montage; and, appropriately enough, we see Gemma sporting her brief rainbow hair, a design that runs from red on one side of her head through the whole spectrum to purple on the other side. Next, she’s eating multi-coloured blobs of battered goo that were once Starburst; then, wearing a beanie hat, she photobombs two young women, inadvertently causing a sensation on Twitter; in trousers and a bikini, she does the ice-bucket challenge; and then, wearing a normal skirt and blouse, she heads into a toilet cubicle with Mairie, who we hear her tell, “See, no bra, and no knickers either!” “Here comes the aeroplane!” Cherise titters, as she waves a spoon, loaded with baby food, in front of Gemma’s open mouth, and promptly shoves the spoon in; wearing her cheerleader’s outfit, Gemma does a step-up, grabs Lowri’s hand and, together, they make a W for Wembley; Cherise knocks into a bed salesman with a crutch, causing him to fall onto the bed next to Gemma, who, after much apologising on everyone’s part, kisses him on the cheek. She takes a bite out of a lamb’s testicle, screwing her face up in disgust; she appears from inside the male changing room of the local leisure centre, announcing, “There’s a bloke in the shower! Naked! I saw everything!”, causing Cherise to crease with laughter; the next person to see everything is the pizza delivery lad, as Gemma’s towel drops to the floor, leaving her standing naked in front of him. We then see the dramatic footage of her fall from the trapeze, where she lands on her back and doesn’t move, which caused some considerable concern, initially; but the image of her waving a crutch in the air to acknowledge the studio audience reminds us of how lucky she was and how quickly she recovered. The montage concludes, and we return to the concert, as Gemma’s wavering voice finishes the song alone. “If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow, … why, … oh why … can’t I?” She allows the last note to fade to nothingness, and wipes away a tear that has formed in the corner of her eye, before she opens them and smiles.

Happily, when we return to the studio, Gemma is all smiles again. As Trixie encourages the audience to give her a good send-off, Joe hugs his fellow Geordie, for whom he’s had a special affection from the very start. She waves to everyone, before turning and making her exit.

“We’ve just lost one very brave and special lass!” Joe remarks. “But we’ve got three remarkable characters still left!”

“We have,” agrees Trixie, “and they’ll be with us, next week, in the final battle to be crowned Britain’s Most Daring!”

“That’s right,” Joe continues, “because it’s the Grand Final, when someone has got to win!”

“So, make sure you don’t miss it!” Trixie advises us. “It’s going to be a fantastic occasion, and we can promise you some spectacular final dares, and one or two surprises! We’ll see you then!”

The two of them wave their goodbyes. Before the credits start to roll, we get a close-up image of each of the three finalists in turn: Matt, grinning at us; Jaz, smiling and waving enthusiastically; and Dylan, who, also smiling, wipes his brow to show his relief at still being on the show. Then the screen fades to black behind the credits.

There is silence in our living room, alongside a sense of numbness. Lissie is heartbroken; devastated that Gemma’s time on Britain’s Most Daring is over.

Glancing sideways, I can see Maddie looking at me. I can tell instantly that an emotional tidal wave is about to come crashing out of her. I can guess why: all that turmoil she’s put herself through by going naked has been for nothing; it hasn’t helped Gemma stay on the show.

“Come and sit here,” I instruct Phil, “and hold her! I’ll deal with Lissie!”

As he takes my place, I go over to my younger daughter. Lying next to her, Rayna is disappointed that Gemma is out, obviously; but Lissie is distraught, and her distress is unsettling her friend.

“Why don’t you let your Mam know it’s finished, and she can come and pick you up!” I suggest, giving her both a distraction and a way out.

As for Lissie, she falls into my arms, and sobs her heart out. She has invested so much emotional energy into the possibility of Gemma winning the overall title that it has to be released somehow, now that the chance has been lost. There’s no point me telling her that Gemma did really well to make it this far, or to remind her that Gemma, herself, had told Lissie and the other girls not to be too upset when the time came for her to leave the show. Those things are both true, but are both for later, when the initial outpouring of emotion has passed, and the hurt she’s feeling now has eased. For the moment, she just needs a shoulder to cry on and someone’s arms to hold her.

Looking across to the sofa, I can see Maddie crying in Phil’s arms. Her distress is different, and may be a lot more difficult to overcome. To say I’m not looking forward to that is most definitely something of an understatement!

As I listen to the sound of two weeping girls, my thoughts turn to Gemma’s family. I imagine Justine may well be having to comfort a devastated Stacie, though, knowing Stacie as I do, she is remarkably resilient, as indeed is Gemma. I have no doubt the two of them will bounce back from this evening’s disappointment and be their usual bubbly selves in no time at all!

So, too, will Lissie; but Maddie could be a different story.

[Jojo246]

Originally Posted by alli55

With her sister alright for the moment, Lissie turns her attention to the impending Dare-Off. “What do you think they’re going to have to do for the Dare-Off?” she asks. “They’re not going to try and make Gemma get naked, are they?”

“I wouldn’t have thought so!” Phil answers. “I don’t think it will have anything to do with their fears! Those were all so different, it would be impossible to do!”

“So, what, then?” Lissie enquires.

It’s another of her impossible-to-answer questions, as her Dad points out: “How am I supposed to know?”

“Maybe it’ll be another round of the truth game!” I suggest.

“I hope so, ’cos Gemma was really good at that!” Lissie says, perking up a little.

Maddie’s phone warbles again.

“Best put that on silent, for now!” I tell her, as the theme music starts up once more. “And you two, please!” I instruct Lissie and Rayna.

“Welcome back to Britain’s Most Daring!” Trixie beams.

“Before the break, we saw Matt face his fear of spiders and come out on top, winning this week’s show!” Joe reminds us.

“Joining Matt in our Grand Final will be Jaz, who dealt with her dread of the dark impressively, despite the best efforts of a very noise fox!” adds Trixie.

“Which means there’s one more place on next week’s finale up for grabs!” Joe states. “But will it be Gemma or Dylan who will be taking that place?”

“It’s time to find out,” Trixie declares, “as they go up against each other in tonight’s Live Head-To-Head Dare-Off!”

“So, Dylan, Gemma, come and join us!” instructs Joe, and the two daredevils walk across to join him and his co-presenter.

“You’ve only been in the Dare-Off once before, Dylan, so how are you feeling?” Trixie asks.

“Really, really nervous!” he confesses. “I’ve got this far; I don’t want to go out now!”

“Gemma, you’ve done two Dare-Offs, is that going to help?” Joe enquires.

“I doubt it!” she says. Candidly, she adds, “I’m cacking myself!”

“Right! … Well, …” begins Trixie, “let’s find out what you’re going to have to do! Here’s the Dare Deliverer once more!”

“Well, my little not-quite-brave-enough-hearts,” the sultry voice teases, “if you want to be in next week’s Grand Final, you’re going to have to pass one more test of nerve! You can stop the torture at any time, but the first one to do so will be going home tonight … and you don’t want that, not after all this time and effort! So be brave, stay strong, and hold your nerve! Good luck, little ones, and remember, the toughest nuts can’t be cracked!”

Over by the familiar circular cubicles, Trixie grins, “Well, that’s bound sure to have eased their minds!”

“Yeah, cheers DD!” chuckles Joe, as he gently propels the two daredevils forward, walking with them across the studio to join Trixie.

Trixie explains the dare, to us and to Gemma and Dylan. “So, we have pored over social media, dug through old photo-albums, and raided every possible source for some very special pictures! We have a set of photos that, shall we say, you may well not want to share … and that’s exactly what we’re going to do with them: share them, via social media, with all the contacts on your phone! Oh, yes, did I mention we’ve taken that as well!”

Gemma and Dylan both shudder, as the nature of the dare hits them. They both look extremely worried about exactly what these pictures might be.

“Now, remember what DD told you!” Joe tells them. “You can stop this at any time. For each photo, you’ll have 5 seconds to decide. If you press ‘stop’ before the time’s up, then we won’t send that photo; but once the 5 seconds has elapsed, the photo will be winging its way to everyone on your contacts list!”

“The first one to press ‘stop’ will have lost the dare,” Trixie points out, “and will be leaving the show tonight. Do you understand?”

The daredevils nod, and they are then escorted to their cubicles, Joe taking Gemma and Trixie going with Dylan. In each cubicle there is a TV screen, on which the pictures will appear, and a keypad with a single red button: the button that will stop the release of the picture and end both their ordeal and their hopes of being crowned Britain’s Most Daring.

“Okay,” Trixie instructs, “let’s show them their first photo!”

Since they have 5 seconds to prevent the picture from going public, we simply see the reactions of the two daredevils, without seeing the pictures themselves. On seeing their first photo, both Gemma and Dylan laugh; neither presses their button.

“So, explain this!” Joe tells Gemma, as we get our look at the photo: a blonde-haired 3-year-old girl is holding a child’s toy handbag, into which has been spooned some sort of chocolate pudding.

“I really liked chocolate pudding when I was little, so I decided to save some for when I got hungry, and my handbag was the obvious place to keep it!” she laughs.

My phone pings, announcing the arrival of a message. I ignore it.

“And what’s this?” Trixie asks Dylan, as we look at a 4-year-old boy sitting in a young child’s chair, wearing a shirt, underpants, and his mum’s knee-length boots!

“That’s me being a pirate!” Dylan explains. “Obviously!”

“Okay, let’s have the next photo, please!” Joe requests.

Once more Gemma laughs, but, this time, Dylan looks embarrassed. But, both photos go public.

A 12-year-old boy is taking a selfie, attempting to look cool, in Top Gun shades, but has succeeded only in looking extremely awkward and uncool.

“Well, Dylan?” Trixie enquires.

“What can I say? God knows what I thought I looked like!”

My phone pings again. Lissie looks over at me, but, once more, I ignore it.

“Gemma, big baguette fan?” asks Joe, as the photo is put onscreen. Gemma, looking about 8, is sat on a bench with a friend, possibly a young Cherise. Her friend is holding up a large tomato in each hand; Gemma has a baguette, inappropriately propped up in her lap.

Her line of defence is simple: “You don’t think of things like that when you’re little, do you?!”

The third photos, which neither of them chooses to stop the release of, are more cute-but-embarrassing pictures of the daredevils in their early years. Gemma, in close-up, is looking into the camera, with one finger stuck firmly up a nostril; Dylan is sitting on the toilet, naked, studying a well-placed magazine that is balanced across his thighs.

Again, my phone pings. Maddie puts two and two together. “You must be on Gemma’s contacts!” she tells me, picking up my phone. “Yeah, see!” She shows me the latest message to arrive: a photo of a young child with her finger up her nose.

The fourth photo causes Gemma to put a hand over her face, in an attempt to hide her embarrassment, but she doesn’t press the button. Dylan looks even more embarrassed, but also allows the picture to be sent.

“What have you got to say for yourself, young lady?” Joe asks her, as we see the photo. A young teenage girl, and two slightly younger children, a girl and a boy, are posing as rappers or popstars; the older girl, Gemma, appears to have inadvertently placed her hand on the boy’s crotch.

“Oh my God, it’s not what it looks! I don’t think I was even touching it!” she insists.

This time we’re ready for the ping, knowing that the photo of Gemma, Stacie, and the boy that Maddie doesn’t recognise has arrived on my phone.

“If you ask her nicely, I’m sure Jaz will tell you how to do it properly!” Joe chuckles. Over a brief shot of Jaz turning bright red again, we hear Gemma laugh as Joe adds, “And if Marcus is around, she’ll probably show you!”

“Dylan …?” is all Trixie has to say. Three attractive young teenage girls, in bikinis, stare out of the screen at us, smiling broadly. Behind them, entering the sea with his back to the camera, is Dylan, who is having a wardrobe malfunction: his swimmers have slipped down, revealing his bare bum!

“Where’d you get that?” he asks in return. “I don’t even know them!”

The photos are getting racier and more embarrassing now, and both Dylan and Gemma think about pressing the button when they see the next picture. In fact, Gemma does press it, but not before the 5 seconds has elapsed. She looks at Joe, unsure whether she’s stopped the picture being sent or not.

“Gemma, did you want that getting out?” he checks.

“Not really! Did I stop it in time?”

“Nope!”

She puts her head in her hands, as we see the offending photo, which must be fairly recent, as she looks pretty much the same as she does now. She is bending down, getting something out of her bag; unfortunately, her loose-fitting jumper has ridden up, and we can see the bottom half of her boobs, revealing that she’s not wearing a bra.

“Stacie, I could kill you!” she mutters, giving us a clue as to who took the picture.

“I remember her taking that picture!” Maddie informs us, as my phone pings again. “We laughed so hard our sides really hurt!”

“I take it you know this young lady!” Trixie says to Dylan. The photo is similar to his last one, only this time there’s only one bikini-clad girl, whom Dylan is holding around the waist. He is wearing swimmers, which are tenting in a very noticeable manner!

“You know how it is, when you’re that age! It’s got a mind of its own!” he says, his face turning as red as his hair.

“Apparently so!” she smirks.

“Oh, God!” he says, holding his head in his hands. “You can’t have got any more!”

“Oh, can’t we?” replies Trixie. “Next photo, please!”

This time, Gemma’s reaction is instant. She slams her hand down on the red button and brings the Dare-Off to an end.

“Nooo-oooo!” cries Lissie, all her hopes dashed in that single moment. She buries her head in her pillow, unable to watch.

“Blimey, that must have been a bad one!” Phil remarks.

Dylan, meanwhile, possibly distracted by the audience’s reaction to Gemma’s button-pushing, has let the 5 seconds pass. Does this mean his latest picture will be released, or has he been saved by the Dare-Off finishing?

“Dylan,” Trixie asks, “you’re letting this go public?” We see a selfie that Dylan has taken in the last year or so, in which he is facing us, smiling and looking straight at the camera … wearing nothing but his smile!

“Oh God,” he cries, “didn’t I press it? Oh my God! You’ve sent it, haven’t you? Oh, my poor Grandma! Oh God!”

“Well, on the plus side,” Trixie tells him, “we’ll be seeing you in the Grand Final next week! Though maybe not quite that much of you! So, why don’t you go and have a sit down!”

“Maybe you can have a think about what you’re going to tell Grandma!” sniggers Joe.

Trixie moves into position as Joe fetches Gemma from her cubicle and places her between Trixie and himself.

“So, Gemma, you clearly didn’t want that one getting out!” Joe remarks.

“No, I couldn’t!” she tells him. “I canna let my boss see that! Or my Nanna!”

“Well, unfortunately, it means we’re going to have to say goodbye to you,” Trixie points out. “How’s it been, being part of Britain’s Most Daring?”

“It’s been amazing and brilliant!” she enthuses. “I’ve had such a good time, and done so many brilliant things!” Her voice starts to waver as her emotions begin to get the better of her. “I’ve loved it, I really have! … Oh, I’m sorry, … sorry …” She puts her hands over her face as tears start to roll down her cheeks.

Joe throws an arm around her and she puts her head on his shoulder as her tears flow.

“Let’s take a look at some of the fantastic moments that Gemma’s given us!” says Trixie, hurriedly introducing the farewell montage, trying to help Gemma out of her predicament.

“Somewhere over the rainbow, … way up high, …” Gemma sings, in a tender, fragile voice, at the Heads Together Concert, “there’s a land that I heard of, once, in a lullaby.” Her singing, backed by the other members of the BMD Northern Singers, continues as a background to the rest of the montage; and, appropriately enough, we see Gemma sporting her brief rainbow hair, a design that runs from red on one side of her head through the whole spectrum to purple on the other side. Next, she’s eating multi-coloured blobs of battered goo that were once Starburst; then, wearing a beanie hat, she photobombs two young women, inadvertently causing a sensation on Twitter; in trousers and a bikini, she does the ice-bucket challenge; and then, wearing a normal skirt and blouse, she heads into a toilet cubicle with Mairie, who we hear her tell, “See, no bra, and no knickers either!” “Here comes the aeroplane!” Cherise titters, as she waves a spoon, loaded with baby food, in front of Gemma’s open mouth, and promptly shoves the spoon in; wearing her cheerleader’s outfit, Gemma does a step-up, grabs Lowri’s hand and, together, they make a W for Wembley; Cherise knocks into a bed salesman with a crutch, causing him to fall onto the bed next to Gemma, who, after much apologising on everyone’s part, kisses him on the cheek. She takes a bite out of a lamb’s testicle, screwing her face up in disgust; she appears from inside the male changing room of the local leisure centre, announcing, “There’s a bloke in the shower! Naked! I saw everything!”, causing Cherise to crease with laughter; the next person to see everything is the pizza delivery lad, as Gemma’s towel drops to the floor, leaving her standing naked in front of him. We then see the dramatic footage of her fall from the trapeze, where she lands on her back and doesn’t move, which caused some considerable concern, initially; but the image of her waving a crutch in the air to acknowledge the studio audience reminds us of how lucky she was and how quickly she recovered. The montage concludes, and we return to the concert, as Gemma’s wavering voice finishes the song alone. “If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow, … why, … oh why … can’t I?” She allows the last note to fade to nothingness, and wipes away a tear that has formed in the corner of her eye, before she opens them and smiles.

Happily, when we return to the studio, Gemma is all smiles again. As Trixie encourages the audience to give her a good send-off, Joe hugs his fellow Geordie, for whom he’s had a special affection from the very start. She waves to everyone, before turning and making her exit.

“We’ve just lost one very brave and special lass!” Joe remarks. “But we’ve got three remarkable characters still left!”

“We have,” agrees Trixie, “and they’ll be with us, next week, in the final battle to be crowned Britain’s Most Daring!”

“That’s right,” Joe continues, “because it’s the Grand Final, when someone has got to win!”

“So, make sure you don’t miss it!” Trixie advises us. “It’s going to be a fantastic occasion, and we can promise you some spectacular final dares, and one or two surprises! We’ll see you then!”

The two of them wave their goodbyes. Before the credits start to roll, we get a close-up image of each of the three finalists in turn: Matt, grinning at us; Jaz, smiling and waving enthusiastically; and Dylan, who, also smiling, wipes his brow to show his relief at still being on the show. Then the screen fades to black behind the credits.

There is silence in our living room, alongside a sense of numbness. Lissie is heartbroken; devastated that Gemma’s time on Britain’s Most Daring is over.

Glancing sideways, I can see Maddie looking at me. I can tell instantly that an emotional tidal wave is about to come crashing out of her. I can guess why: all that turmoil she’s put herself through by going naked has been for nothing; it hasn’t helped Gemma stay on the show.

“Come and sit here,” I instruct Phil, “and hold her! I’ll deal with Lissie!”

As he takes my place, I go over to my younger daughter. Lying next to her, Rayna is disappointed that Gemma is out, obviously; but Lissie is distraught, and her distress is unsettling her friend.

“Why don’t you let your Mam know it’s finished, and she can come and pick you up!” I suggest, giving her both a distraction and a way out.

As for Lissie, she falls into my arms, and sobs her heart out. She has invested so much emotional energy into the possibility of Gemma winning the overall title that it has to be released somehow, now that the chance has been lost. There’s no point me telling her that Gemma did really well to make it this far, or to remind her that Gemma, herself, had told Lissie and the other girls not to be too upset when the time came for her to leave the show. Those things are both true, but are both for later, when the initial outpouring of emotion has passed, and the hurt she’s feeling now has eased. For the moment, she just needs a shoulder to cry on and someone’s arms to hold her.

Looking across to the sofa, I can see Maddie crying in Phil’s arms. Her distress is different, and may be a lot more difficult to overcome. To say I’m not looking forward to that is most definitely something of an understatement!

As I listen to the sound of two weeping girls, my thoughts turn to Gemma’s family. I imagine Justine may well be having to comfort a devastated Stacie, though, knowing Stacie as I do, she is remarkably resilient, as indeed is Gemma. I have no doubt the two of them will bounce back from this evening’s disappointment and be their usual bubbly selves in no time at all!

So, too, will Lissie; but Maddie could be a different story.

another excelllent chapter you certainly have a great creative mind i hope the stort doesnt end there and i really want to know what that picture was lol