Having trouble, need help and tips.

[MountainMan1]

Hello, I have been searching for a master/mistress for about 8 months now and have only found 2 so far and both have disapeered in less than 3 weeks.

In my ads I try very hard and put alot of time into them and try to make them very interesting and good.*

I also reply to as many ads that seem good and in those relpys I try to make them as good a possible.

I also advertise and reply to ads on other sites too but still have a 0% sucess rate. Every ad I post I get 0-2 relpys and about 80% of the time I reply to an ad I never get a reply back.*

I think this is because of the poor quality of 18 year old males from the US so most people don't even bat an eye at the titles of my ads so I don't get any replys for my ads, for my replys to ads I don't have a clue why people don't reply to them.

Does anyone have a clue why people choose not to repond and have any tips on how to find a master/mistress and if you do have a master/mistress how did you find them?

-MountainMan

[Leather Jacket]

Yes and also patience is the key. You must be completely submissve in what you write. Tell me, did you come across as a dom in your ads or as a submissive?

[SubMissChievous]

What you're saying is pretty much what I've seen happening here for years and on the internet in general. And I know I have said it before and will say it again: Advertising is only one tool among many others and by far not the most effective one. Especially for more long-term or serious types of relationships.

The way you will meet people is not any different than you would for meeting in the "vanilla world". If you're looking for a girlfriend/boyfriend what will get you more chances? Posting and replying to ads may help but you will have to be lucky. For S/M you will have to be even more lucky because we are fewer.

I have been doing this stuff for 15+ years and only posted an ad once and replied to one once as well. I have found a lot more luck by simply being active in some communities such as here, posting in discussions and then befriending like-minded people, etc. Ads are fine but too often people only throw in there a list of kinks and limits and whatnot and this is hardly enough to have an idea of whether or not you will be compatible with them. It's like saying "let's talk about our kinks and then see if we match on a personal level later". And it rarely works.

I think there are way more chances to be successful in searching when putting the horse before the cart and get to know people on a personal level and then bring kink to it once you already know at least a bit the person.

[MountainMan1]

Originally Posted by Leather Jacket

Yes and also patience is the key. You must be completely submissve in what you write. Tell me, did you come across as a dom in your ads or as a submissive?

Now that I think about it I may have come accross as a dom in my writings, now that I think about it I may have been pushing too hard in my ads to get what I wanted and it may have came accross that I was a dom.

Originally Posted by Chloe

What you're saying......know at least a bit the person.

This seems like it could work, thanks for writing all that, it was extremely helpful and i'll be shure to try it out.

Thanks guys, it has really liberated my locked up mind.

[Kitten]

Good luck on your search!
Since a little bit of luck is usually needed in these situations.

[softseen]

Finding a partner for BDSM play isn't so much different from finding a partner for a regular relationship. It just takes much effort and patience and ist often connected with disappointments.

Besides making/answering ads, I have experienced that BDSM chatrooms are a great place to find interesting people. Still not a self-propelling thing but sometimes very entertaining, when you don't focus too much on the D/s thing

[aislinnmarie]

i'm not really sure how effective ads are. i know personally, i look at what a person writes in posts. This gives me a good idea what their philosophy is in regards to the lifestyle and either attracts me or makes it very clear that that person is not one that i would be compatible with.

i personally, don't feel that you have to sound submissive in your ad. However, sounding pushy could be very off putting. Ultimately, you are submitting to One, not everyone. i'd like a Master to know i choose to submit to Him and not just anyone. i would also think that it would be a good thing for a Master to know that i'm confident enough to stand on my own when needed as well.

It's a fine balance and finding the right one is going to take time. Sometimes years and years, but when you find the right one, it will make the wait worth it.