[Non-Fiction] Making cocktails with my pee -Clairetails!

[ClaireScott]

Hi everyone!
So lately I’ve found myself thinking thinking more of piss play, and per drinking. I’ve done some in the past, but I somehow find myself curious as to how else I can consume my own pee.

As such, I’ve decided that for this week (starting today as it’s conveniently a Monday) all drinks I consume in my apartment must contain my pee. And instead of just drinking my pee straight, I decided to make it a little more sophisticated and classy! So I’ve coined the term “Clairetail” to refer to a mocktail/cocktail which contains my pee (or maybe pee in general?)

I will be updating this entry as I go so I’m not continuously posting new posts, for each day so do come back for the day’s featured “Clairetail” and my tasting of it.

Day 1: Monday - The Golden Sip
So I had this idea about Clairetails on the way home from work and unfortunately I was not able to pick up alcohol on the way back so for today, it’s going to be a simple virgin Clairetail. Tonight, I used a mixture of club soda, ginger ale, mint leaves and of course my own salty liquid to make a nice refreshing drink, which I named “The golden sip”.

Instructions:
To make this beverage, I simply pee-ed into a tall glass so I could control the saltiness in the beverage by measuring it out. Was able to produce a good 3/4 of a tall drinking glass worth of warm yellowish piss. I started by pouring 2 cups of my liquid into a cocktail shaker, added mint leaves (I added a handful so could taste the mint better) and added ice to the shaker. I then gave it a good shake to crunch the mint leaves but also for the ice to cool down my warm piss and to dilute it a little. I shook it for longer to ensure the liquid was cold enough and infused with mint. The challenge was to cool my fresh pee down to an icier temperature to be enjoyed.

I then added equal parts of ginger ale and club soda to the shaker (about 1 cup each), and after giving it a light shake to mix (careful of the carbonated drinks), I poured the Clairetail through the strainer into an elegant coupe glass. And voila! The ginger was a little strong but through the fizz and ginger, but my saltiness came through with the freshness of the mint and lingered as a light aftertaste.

I sat naked on my couch as sipping away at my glass, and topped myself up to finish the concoction while I drafted this post up. The rest of my light yellow pee that was unused I poured into ice cube trays and stuck them in the freezer to become ice cubes. These I figured I could use for future Clairetails.

Let me know if you would dare to try this! Definitely a drink it’d be making more often for myself!

Day 2: Tuesday - Tinkle Belle
I started the day in a bit of a frantic rush trying to make it to my morning class on time. I had took longer as I was trying to make more pee ice cubes for today’s Clairetail (while having breakfast) that I lost track of time. In case you are wondering, my morning beverage was orange juice with a few pee cubes. Not exactly one of my favourites…

I finished class, and made it through a short shift at work (time flew by as I was thinking up all these recipes that I could do). I excitedly made my way to the liquor store and grocer to pick up some supplies for my planned out Clairetails. I got home and was excited to start but not before emptying out the ready trays of my frozen pee and making a fresh batch (as much as I would have just liked to pee right over the trays and fill them directly, that’s not the easiest and cleanest way, so sorry to disappoint guys…I pee-ed into a large spouted measuring cup and filled the trays).

I decided for today to make my version of a boozy slush lemonade which I named “Tinkle Belle”. Inspired by the end colours and the little fairy from Peter Pan, I was quite proud of the pun in the name. I’m not sure if the term “tinkle” is used worldwide in this context, so for those who may not know, “tinkle” can mean urine or the act of urinating. Belle is French for beauty or beautiful, so combined, the name would mean “urinating beauty”. Lol, I was so proud 🤣

For this Clairetail, I used vodka, lemonade, Claire’s original pee cubes (I say that like it’s a normal everyday ingredient), lime juice, and lime for garnishing.
For this slushy goodness, you would need a blender powerful enough to break the ice up.

Instructions:
Start by adding pee cubes, vodka, lime juice and lemonade into the blender. I used about one tall glass full of pee cubes, 1 cup vodka, and one 1.5 cups lemonade and a few table spoons of lime juice. For the aesthetics of this Clairetail, the yellower the pee, the better. Also, chances are that the darker your pee is, the saltier it will be to cut through the sourness of the lemonade.

I blended everything together until it was a nice slushie consistency. I taste tested it and the saltiness was a little overpowered. Now the trouble with pee is that the saltiness can change, so you’re never dealing with the same concentration. I ended up adding some liquid pee (not-yet frozen pee cubes) to make it a little saltier to my liking and also to make it more liquid. I didn’t have any pee in me at the time, or I would have garnished the glass and finished it with a fresh spray of urine straight from between my legs. But too many variables… the mess, the temperature, etc.

Finally, I poured the yellow slush mixture into a tall cocktail glass, garnished it with a little lime wheel and the Tinkle Belle was ready to be enjoyed!

With sunlight lasting longer here in Canada as we approach spring, I decided to sit by my window (naked as usual) looking out at the world while sipping my Clairetail. The sourness of the lemonade and the saltiness of my pee complimented each other well. I had mine on the saltier side, and the vodka was a nice warming agent to the icy slush after consumption. It was so simple, but oh so good. I’m the future I would probably cut out the lime juice, and half the amount of lemonade (but that is just for my taste).

Let me know if you would try a Tinkle Belle, and if you do, please let me know what you thought of it! I’m already excited for tomorrow’s Clairetail. A hint? It’s going to be a red coloured beverage Can you guess what’s in it?

Day 3: Wednesday - Tropical Claire-i-ty
I find myself thinking more about how I can make pee beverages, and as it turns out…there are already full recipes out there on the internet (why of course, why wouldn’t there be?). If you’re interested, you can see the recipes here.

I was disappointed that similar ideas had been thought up already and on top of that, were already far more established than anything I could ever come up with (I mean, check out some of those drinks!). But I was determined to make my Clairetails a little more unique with my preparations. Yesterday I hinted at a red Clairetail and many had guessed some kind of cranberry concoction but that is not the case. I’ll be honest, that I was totally experimenting with a few things today, and the Clairetail evolved from its original concept.

Today I made a Clairetail out of clarified watermelon juice, gin, floral honey, limes, vanilla extract, lemon peel for garnishing, CLEAR pee ice cubes, and a very special Claire ingredient that took all day to prepare: clear pink/red urine. The pink/red pee is a personal touch, and is not necessary if you are serving this beverage straight up as is because the water melon juice is already red. However this is more for presentation and a wow factor when serving (find out how). I named this Clairetail “Tropical Claireity”.

Instructions:
I started by making the clarified watermelon juice. To do this, cut open a watermelon and cut the red flesh into cubes. Place the cubes in a blender and blend until it becomes a liquid mush. Strain the watermelon juice using a coffee filter (apparently a cheesecloth works too) into a vessel or bowl. I strained my watermelon juice twice to have it as clear as possible, and a second strain did help. At the end, you should have a light brown/dull pink liquid.

Now for the red pee, that requires early prep. The simple secret to red/pink pee is eating beets. Today, I prepared for this Clairetail by blending beets into a smoothie which I consumed throughout the day. This ensured that the red colour of the beer was in abundance in my body so that when I pee-ed, the colour would be a bright clear red or pink depending on how much water I drank. I was finally able to get a rough gauge on a water to beet smoothie ratio that was give me a nice red colour. For my body, it was 2 tall glass of water per hour to about 3/4 cup pure beet smoothie.

The reason I chose this method was simply because I wanted a beautiful clear and dazzling red Clairetail. This way, the natural red colour from the beets was infused into my pee. Using just plain beet juice would have been too dark and almost blood-like while watermelon juice alone would not produce a clear liquid, but a cloudy one instead. Also, by eating the beets, my body extracted the colour while removing the taste of beets that would have added a vegetal sweetness which was not what we wanted. For this Clairetail, the red pee should be served fresh for best results, so ensure that you are ready to pee when preparing this beverage.

To make this Clairetail, measure out 4 cups of the filtered watermelon juice and pour into a mixing bow, then add 1/2 cup freshly squeezed lime juice, 1 ¼ cups gin, and add 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract and set aside.

At this time, my bladder was full and ready to release the red pee I had been holding in. In another glass (one that could be used to serve the red pee in separately, I put 1/2 cup floral honey, then pee-ed into the glass so that my hot steamy pee mixed with the honey, dissolving it to make a sweet and salty red mixture.

Next, fill a glass of your choice (the glass you’ll actually be drinking from) with clear pee ice cubes and fill the glass half way with the clear watermelon juice mixture. Garnish the glass with a twisted lemon peel slice and prepare to serve.

To properly serve a “Tropical Claire-i-ty”, the clear watermelon juice should be served with the clear red pee separately so that when it is presented, the warm red pee is poured directly over the icy clear watermelon juice turning it a beautiful clear red. The warmth of the red pee in the glass is a testament to its freshness when poured for/by the consumer. The difference in temperature of the hot pee and cold juice also makes the coloured pee mixing in the glass very cool to watch until finally it turns all red.

For an added wow factor, the honey can be drizzled over the ice cubes, and the red pee can be added directly into the drink by pissing straight into it. A little messier, and not as classy though, but just a thought for those looking to serve it or to be served by a girl pissing a red stream (or guy for that matter).

The beverage was absolutely beautiful to look at; a bright red clear drink with a bold splash of yellow from the garnishing. I was particularly proud of the serving method I thought up and thought how consumers could also just sip on the honey sweetened red pee on as well.

The taste of this drink was refreshing as the fresh watermelon taste came through the salty and slightly bitter taste of urine. The after taste was the light sourness of the lime and the stickiness of my pee that lingered in the mouth, making you want to take another sip. The light hint of vanilla also coupled well with the floral notes of the honey, it’s sweetness also balancing the saltiness. However, I find that the gin helped lighten this a little and I enjoyed every subtle element of this taste as the liquids swirled and danced over my tastebuds.

To consume this gorgeous Clairetail in all its splendour, I decided to match its glamour and boldness by “dressing up” for the tasting. Tonight I wore some long elegant dangly earrings, black knee high strappy heels, and a thin black velvet choker. I was completely naked otherwise. I enjoyed this beverage feeling like a slutty princess, standing by the window for all the world outside to see. I felt very elegant but also very filthy indeed. I loved it.

Day 4: Thursday - Claire-ly Claire-finated
Today, I had the day to myself and since I had the time, I decided to cook myself a nice breakfast of scrambled eggs, some sausages, and hash browns. My first pee beverage of the day was apple juice with fresh dark yellow pee. I find my morning pee to be the strongest tasting of the day, and often have to dilute it so it’s not so heavy tasting and overpowering.

After breakfast, I felt like just lounging in my livingroom where the sun light shone directly in; a perfect place for laying in the sunlight and yet being comfortably at home. I recalled a recipe I came across in my research for a beverage that contained espresso and tea, both of which sounded wonderful to have in hand while I lounged around. Hence, today’s Clairetail…

Today’s beverage was really simple to make and although I found it online, I named my version of it “Claire-ly Claire-finated” as it contained both espresso and tea, so caffeine would be at an all time high! The ingredient called for were: chai tea bags, maple syrup, espresso, milk, maple syrup, vodka, and ice, and of course, my pee.

Instructions:
The original recipe had instructed for the chai tea bags to be steeped in boiling water. Instead, I decided I would just pee into a vessel and to steep the tea bags directly in the pee, infusing the flavours directly into the urine as it would be hot enough.

In the kitchen, I placed a large measuring cup between my legs and relaxed my urethra releasing a hot stream urine, this time of a paler yellow colour than this morning. I added a chai tea bag into the pee, and watched as the tea started to steep into my liquid. About 1 teaspoon of maple syrup was also added and dissolved in the pee while it was still hot and I left it to steep for about 5 minutes. Next, I removed the tea bags and set the tea aside to cool. Taking a quick taste, the tea tasted mostly of my pee but the chai tea aromas were definitely identifiable right away and the mild sweetness of the maple syrup came subtly through the pungent piss.

While steeping the tea, I used my trusty Nespresso machine to whip up a double shot of espresso which was also set aside to cool. Once both the espresso and pee mixture were cooled, I used a cocktail shaker to combine 1 cup of the tea/pee mixture, 1/2 cup of espresso, 1 cup milk, 1/2 cup vodka, and filled the shaker with some regular ice cubes.

Sealing the shaker, I gave the Clairetail a good shaking making sure the liquids would be chilled enough, and that the milk would be nice and frothy. I then poured the contents into a coupe glass straining the ice and the Clairetail was ready! The first sip surprised me with a very satisfying creamy and frothy coffee taste accompanied by a nice savouriness from the urine. The creamy taste of the milk complemented the subtle subtle chai aroma and the flavours lingered on my tongue and throat even after swallowing. It was absolutely delicious and I really loved the salty creaminess of this drink. The ice had definitely diluted both my salty pee and the espresso, but not in a bad way. The balance of the 2 was right and if either were stronger on their own, many flavours would have been lost.

I decided that if the theme for this beverage was waking up and energizing the body (with the all that caffeine), it would be fitting to do a little dare to wake my womanhood up and charge my body’s sexual energy. To do this, I devised that I would leave the front door of my apartment open and facing it fully naked, would edge myself as many times in 20 minutes. After each edge, I would spank my pussy with a silicone spatula 3 times and take a big sip of my Clairetail. If while I was edging, someone walked past my front door and saw me, I would not have to spank myself or take a drink.

Pleased with this idea, I opened my apartment door leaving it wide open, and positioned myself so that I was standing, half leaning on my dining table with one leg raised on a dining chair. With my legs spread and my front fully exposed to my entrance, I set my phone timer for 20 minutes and started to touch myself. I reached my first edge about 6 minutes in and stopped the timer. No one had passed by so I took a big sip of my Clairetail, and administered 3 loud spanks with the spatula right on my pussy.

Then I started the timer again and my fingers were rubbing my lubricated clit once more. The second edge came about 10 minutes in from the start and I stopped the timer again. I landed another 3 hard slaps on my now rosy pink pussy and felt the slap on my clit a few times. My vaginal area was now turning very red, and a gulp of my piss infused beverage helped calm me a little. The timer started again, and another edge rushed at me a few minutes later. Another 3 loud spanks as I yelped and squealed with each slap. I felt my pussy throbbing from the pain and a tingling heat that lingered between my legs.

Through slightly teary eyes, I looked at the timer, and I had 3 more minutes left. I drank another sip of my drink and determined to edge once more before the time ran out, pleasured myself hurriedly. I raced against the timer, watching it count down while I frantically rubbed and fingered myself. I was able to get myself to another edge with slightly less than a minute to spare. I spread my legs wider, exposing my red wet pussy even more. *Slap*, my body jerked, *Slap*, my legs tried to close out of reflex but remained spread. *Slap*, I felt a tear roll down my cheek as my pussy burned with heat and pain. I drank once more from my glass, and I finished the remainder of the time rubbing my sore pussy tenderly to sooth it.

The timer alarm went off, and I moved to close the front door. Just as I was at the door, I heard the elevator stop on my floor and peering out into the hallway, saw a lady I did not recognize walking my way… “a little too late ma’am” I thought to myself ironically, and shut the door before she passed. I was awake now… caffeine coursing through my body along with the longing urge of my sexual arousal… I took a shower and achieved my orgasm by running lukewarm water over my pussy in the bathtub.

Thanks for reading and do check back for tomorrow’s Clairetail. 3 more days to go, 3 more Clairetails!

Do let me know if you have any ideas you would like incorporated and help a girl out

Hugs and kisses,
Claire

[r0ver]

If you get some ice cube freezer bags like this:

https://amzn.eu/d/foH5xOH

You'll be able to freeze larger amounts of pee than using an ice cube tray.

[Ray_Q]

Claire,

You are a deliciously filthy creature. Love, love, love your reports.

R.

[ClaireScott]

Originally Posted by r0ver

If you get some ice cube freezer bags like this:

https://amzn.eu/d/foH5xOH

You'll be able to freeze larger amounts of pee than using an ice cube tray.

Thank you! ���� I've been constantly trying to freeze more pee! Ordered online!

[ClaireScott]

Originally Posted by Ray_Q

Claire,

You are a deliciously filthy creature. Love, love, love your reports.

R.

Thank you! I’m glad you enjoy reading my entries!

[OhMyGosh]

If you replaced your pee with some previously collected pussy juices, this would be a huge fantasy of mine. Really nice to see that there are others with similarly dirty minds out there...

[ClaireScott]

Originally Posted by OhMyGosh

If you replaced your pee with some previously collected pussy juices, this would be a huge fantasy of mine. Really nice to see that there are others with similarly dirty minds out there...

Thanks for reading and the suggestion. I thought about that, and while I can spurt a little juices, I can’t produce enough to make drinks. You wouldn’t be able to taste the pussy juice so no real point…unless your goal is just to drink pussy juice.

[CombedThunderclap]

These Clairetails seem delicious! Cant' wait to read more recipes... (I guess the next one is a variation on Bloody Mary?)

(As for incorporating pussy juices, even if they don't pour outside in appropriate amount, there's sure plenty of them in your pussy: have you ever considered using your vagina instead of the shaker? Not for the alcoholic part, obviously, just letting your pee cube melt there, and maybe adding some soda, so that they are adequately flavored, then pouring everything back in a tumbler...)

[ClaireScott]

Originally Posted by CombedThunderclap

These Clairetails seem delicious! Cant' wait to read more recipes... (I guess the next one is a variation on Bloody Mary?)

(As for incorporating pussy juices, even if they don't pour outside in appropriate amount, there's sure plenty of them in your pussy: have you ever considered using your vagina instead of the shaker? Not for the alcoholic part, obviously, just letting your pee cube melt there, and maybe adding some soda, so that they are adequately flavored, then pouring everything back in a tumbler...)

I have considered getting the liquid inside me, but I’m not sure it’s safe; infections etc. I have been getting a lot of requests to add my love nectar in a drink and I’m thinking of ways to do it. I may have something in the works… it’s just tedious. Would definitely be a premium Clairetail that would cost the buyer dearly

[Annaxx]

Will you make some kind of recipe collection? would love to see them all in one place, and to get "inspired" by them

[r0ver]

Originally Posted by Annaxx

Will you make some kind of recipe collection? would love to see them all in one place, and to get "inspired" by them

Should make a book. If a guy can make and sell a cookbook and a cocktail recipe book with recipes using semen and sell them on Amazon (these are genuine books) then a book on urine cocktails surely has an audience. Not least because it isn't limited to those with access to a cock.

[ClaireScott]

Originally Posted by r0ver

Should make a book. If a guy can make and sell a cookbook and a cocktail recipe book with recipes using semen and sell them on Amazon (these are genuine books) then a book on urine cocktails surely has an audience. Not least because it isn't limited to those with access to a cock.

Really!? There’s such a book out there? This is hilarious! Maybe I CAN compile a book of Clairetail recipes!

[r0ver]

Originally Posted by ClaireScott

Really!? There’s such a book out there? This is hilarious! Maybe I CAN compile a book of Clairetail recipes!

Yep, they exist:


I've met a few bartenders who I thought were wankers, but this takes it to another level.