19/female/sub seeks 18-21/any sex/dom in US (abuse me)

[Dark_eyed_Devil]

Originally Posted by Masterwants

You’re right she’s free to say whatever she likes. But, calling someone out on their inconsistencies or lies isn’t borderline bullying. Weirdly some people do actually care about the truth here, which is also their right.

There’s nothing weird about telling the truth, and I ageee with you. It is important that we all remain transparent, especially with this type of engagement. What I’m saying is that calling her out in the open and giving her a reputation of a lier on an open form is a bit over the top… and yes, call me crazy but I think non-consensual humiliation is in fact bullying.

Perhaps she does have some things in her personal life that she doesn’t care to share. She has the right to her privacy. Should she had said what she had said knowing it wasn’t true? Okay, probably not. But if we know she is not telling the truth, that’s something that should be discussed in a more personal setting.

Thats all I’m saying.

[Masterwants]

Originally Posted by Dark_eyed_Devil

There’s nothing weird about telling the truth, and I ageee with you. It is important that we all remain transparent, especially with this type of engagement. What I’m saying is that calling her out in the open and giving her a reputation of a lier on an open form is a bit over the top… and yes, call me crazy but I think non-consensual humiliation is in fact bullying.

Perhaps she does have some things in her personal life that she doesn’t care to share. She has the right to her privacy. Should she had said what she had said knowing it wasn’t true? Okay, probably not. But if we know she is not telling the truth, that’s something that should be discussed in a more personal setting.

Thats all I’m saying.

I’d rather say things out in the open than behind someone’s back, it also gives others a chance to share their experiences, or serves as a potential warning flag for others.

In my experience people who are flakey over such details are generally flakey about everything else and are probably not who they claim to be at all. Others may think differently, that is their right, I really don’t care.

[MeisterRebus]

Originally Posted by Masterwants

In my experience people who are flakey over such details are generally flakey about everything else and are probably not who they claim to be at all. Others may think differently, that is their right, I really don’t care.

In my experience too. Be honest and don't cheat. The dildo of consequences rarely comes lubed. And sooner or later - mostly sooner and unexpected - these consequences come. Because, old German saying, lies have short legs...

[RandomPersin]

Originally Posted by Masterwants

In my experience people who are flakey over such details are generally flakey about everything else and are probably not who they claim to be at all. Others may think differently, that is their right, I really don’t care.

So the 3 things people are upset about:

-Claimed lesbian and is now claiming bi in some way, so is sexuality not fluid? Even if it isn't just trying to stop the MASS AMMOUNTS OF CRAPPY MEN ON HERE do people not realize that late teens early 20s is when people really start learning their sexuality a lot of times?

-From Mistress to sub... so do we just ignore that the poster literally went over why they are switching and trying out, so switches who lean one way don't exist now either? Good to know I am only ever a Dom then.

-Stated career, I find it more shocking that people actually post their real career and expect that. You don't get to know what I do on here, I just use as generic terms as possible because I would rather not have my career risked in any way. Do I need to mention the creepy men again?

It sounds like a lot of guys are just upset that they don't get the personal info before negotiations or vetting. If it bugs you then go find a person who doesn't care about risk. But from my experience those types of people in Kink are not worth the risk or the headaches.

[HollyHound]

Thank you for understanding!!! In the first hour of this ad I had over 10 people message me and they ALL claimed me. Then when I tell them I'm taken as a slave all the sudden they look for any reason to bring me down and try to discredit me. Shit like this is why ladies like myself don't go on here anymore or even at all. This website claims to be friendly but I find the COMPLETE OPPOSITE!!! Thank you so much randomperson I hope you find EXACTLY what you are looking for from this website and thank you for making me feel welcome

[Masterwants]

Originally Posted by RandomPersin

So the 3 things people are upset about:

-Claimed lesbian and is now claiming bi in some way, so is sexuality not fluid? Even if it isn't just trying to stop the MASS AMMOUNTS OF CRAPPY MEN ON HERE do people not realize that late teens early 20s is when people really start learning their sexuality a lot of times?

-From Mistress to sub... so do we just ignore that the poster literally went over why they are switching and trying out, so switches who lean one way don't exist now either? Good to know I am only ever a Dom then.

-Stated career, I find it more shocking that people actually post their real career and expect that. You don't get to know what I do on here, I just use as generic terms as possible because I would rather not have my career risked in any way. Do I need to mention the creepy men again?

It sounds like a lot of guys are just upset that they don't get the personal info before negotiations or vetting. If it bugs you then go find a person who doesn't care about risk. But from my experience those types of people in Kink are not worth the risk or the headaches.

I don’t think any of us are upset, I’m certainly not, i think some of us just saw some warning signs and wanted to share our thoughts. I don’t know why you choose to try and prove why we might be wrong with our assumptions either, it’s our right to think what we think, and sometimes I’m using my gut instinct rather than logic. I’m not perfect and could well be wrong, but my comments were my opinion and I don’t expect everybody to agree, some did though.

I certainly don’t want anybody to reveal things they aren’t comfortable with, I see no reason for people to falsely claim their occupation, if you’re worried about doing that say nothing, I can’t see anyone being upset about that. I’m aware that people can change their preferences, I’m also aware that in my ten years of getDare that I’ve encountered plenty of liars and fakers, who didn’t think I’d notice their inconsistencies or lies. I think you’re making sweeping generalisations about people in terms of what might “bug” them and the reasons behind this, which is sad.

Please remember we are all different, diversity is good, you do you and I will do me. This may mean commenting on threads again in similar circumstances, as others also do, and again I don’t expect everyone else to agree. I may be wrong, as we all are at times, but I don’t need people trying to convince me I am in an attempt to make me admit I’m wrong or apologise, I stand by all of my previous comments.

If nothing else this appears to have been a learning experience for the OP, whether that is negative or positive for them.

[RandomPersin]

Originally Posted by Masterwants

If nothing else this appears to have been a learning experience for the OP, whether that is negative or positive for them.

Geeze go and be an example of the exact thing I mentioned was a negative on this site why don't you. Glad mentality like that is rare in my local kink scene, it doesn't really make it past munches.

[Masterwants]

I presume you can’t disagree with the other points I made, sad that you’ve resorted to personal insults, though I guess that may serve as a warning to others here. I’m glad you’re so perfect anyway ������

[RandomPersin]

Originally Posted by Masterwants

I presume you can’t disagree with the other points I made, sad that you’ve resorted to personal insults, though I guess that may serve as a warning to others here. I’m glad you’re so perfect anyway ������

I didn't say that I couldn't disagree with your other points. I am just tired of the "Well she should learn to keep her story straight, tell us personal details without trust being built, or stop trying." crowd.

As I said before the "Hey you changed what you said your job is" does not seem like an actual warning sign, more of a nitpick of how people don't understand that some others don't like releasing personal info so they pick any random professional job to convey that they have a professional job.

And no where did I say you have to think the same but continuously harping on it and replying to multiple people shows that it is something that you take rather personally in some way. Yes you seem upset that someone used a different fake job than they did before. The warning that this could be a fake post was already there, continuously repeating the same fact that you don't like their choice while criticizing me for calling out your choice is telling "I can tell her she isn't allowed to think that is okay but you can't tell me I can't think something."

The reason to put a fake occupation helps solve 2 issues, 1 it makes it so a temporary dom doesn't ask a question about what you do for a living so you don't feel the need to lie. 2 it conveys the fact that you have a part of your life that kink should not impact (which given the wording is the main reason). I myself give out a specific job title but I have been doing this longer than OP seems to have.

You seem to be making a sweeping generalization about OP by saying "years of getDare that I’ve encountered plenty of liars and fakers, who didn’t think I’d notice their inconsistencies or lies" when you found 1 lie on OPs post. Multiple people have stated that they would do the same thing but you demand that it is a red flag that the whole site seems to need to be aware of. A simple question instead of multiple rants would have worked better to teach OP and make people aware.

"Please remember we are all different," while you demand that we think the same as you and change our mentality to fit yours by saying "If nothing else this appears to have been a learning experience for the OP, whether that is negative or positive for them." what exactly do you think they should learn? To not do things their way and do what you suggest. See how that changes your "we are all different"

You repeatedly hounding this is more of a red flag on your end that you should learn instead of repeatedly trying to talk down to others and get worse in your attitude on how you reply. This site is full of a lot of people who are just now learning kink and opening up, deciding to put them on blast and treat them as you have is not a conducive way to help the community.

I didn't want to go point by point because each of your comments just make you look worse. Please learn that others are still new and should not be chastised into learning, it is proven to not work and scares them away. Even if it is the way you act as a dom or top remember safe sane and CONSENSUAL. Unless the person consents to you chastising them then you do not have the right to.

[Masterwants]

Originally Posted by RandomPersin

I didn't say that I couldn't disagree with your other points. I am just tired of the "Well she should learn to keep her story straight, tell us personal details without trust being built, or stop trying." crowd.

As I said before the "Hey you changed what you said your job is" does not seem like an actual warning sign, more of a nitpick of how people don't understand that some others don't like releasing personal info so they pick any random professional job to convey that they have a professional job.

And no where did I say you have to think the same but continuously harping on it and replying to multiple people shows that it is something that you take rather personally in some way. Yes you seem upset that someone used a different fake job than they did before. The warning that this could be a fake post was already there, continuously repeating the same fact that you don't like their choice while criticizing me for calling out your choice is telling "I can tell her she isn't allowed to think that is okay but you can't tell me I can't think something."

The reason to put a fake occupation helps solve 2 issues, 1 it makes it so a temporary dom doesn't ask a question about what you do for a living so you don't feel the need to lie. 2 it conveys the fact that you have a part of your life that kink should not impact (which given the wording is the main reason). I myself give out a specific job title but I have been doing this longer than OP seems to have.

You seem to be making a sweeping generalization about OP by saying "years of getDare that I’ve encountered plenty of liars and fakers, who didn’t think I’d notice their inconsistencies or lies" when you found 1 lie on OPs post. Multiple people have stated that they would do the same thing but you demand that it is a red flag that the whole site seems to need to be aware of. A simple question instead of multiple rants would have worked better to teach OP and make people aware.

"Please remember we are all different," while you demand that we think the same as you and change our mentality to fit yours by saying "If nothing else this appears to have been a learning experience for the OP, whether that is negative or positive for them." what exactly do you think they should learn? To not do things their way and do what you suggest. See how that changes your "we are all different"

You repeatedly hounding this is more of a red flag on your end that you should learn instead of repeatedly trying to talk down to others and get worse in your attitude on how you reply. This site is full of a lot of people who are just now learning kink and opening up, deciding to put them on blast and treat them as you have is not a conducive way to help the community.

I didn't want to go point by point because each of your comments just make you look worse. Please learn that others are still new and should not be chastised into learning, it is proven to not work and scares them away. Even if it is the way you act as a dom or top remember safe sane and CONSENSUAL. Unless the person consents to you chastising them then you do not have the right to.

Firstly, I replied to a couple of people, as they chose to engage with my comment. Like I said before, which you seem to ignore, I’m not at all upset about anything here, so please stop presuming and trying to infer that I am, just because I choose to reply and debate.

As I’ve said before people are free to say or do whatever they want, but some people may choose to pass comment, which is totally fine. If people want to pass comment then I may choose to respond, which isn’t continuously harping or hounding on, it’s discussion. You choose to reply to me, so I choose to respond to you.

Every day is a school day, for me and everyone, we are all continually learning. I don’t claim to know everything or always be right, but I have a lot of experience. If that doesn’t fit your narrative of how someone should behave or what values they should hold then so be it. I’m not talking down to anyone, I’m debating. Sometimes you will have to accept that there may be a difference of opinion and that is fine, but again you’re making very personal comments about me to justify your argument, which is quite sad and unnecessary, and again this doesn’t reflect well on you. I’m not demanding anyone thinks the same as me or hold the same values, but I know that some will. Just because that may be different you’re doesn’t make it wrong, it’s just different.

I’m fully aware there are lots of newbies here, I welcome lots of newbies and offer mentoring, support, advice if they would like it. But I will also pass comment, as others do, when things don’t appear to be quite right, and I’ve previously explained why I and others do this. You seem to ignore the fact that some people may deliberately deceive others for the fun of it, or whatever other reason they might have, it’s not all about being new and learning sadly.

As I’ve said before this kind of situation can be a learning experience for the OP, or indeed others reading the thread. I suspect we all figured out our preferences, likes, dislikes, limits etc. through reading, watching, researching and having actual experiences, both positive and negative ourselves. I always think there are positives to a negative experience, as it allows you to learn and grow and possibly not repeat previous mistakes, or learn that you may need to be smarter if you deliberately choose to deceive.

It’s interesting that you make a point about consent and not chastising someone without consent. If you re-read my initial comments you will see that I didn’t directly address the OP and chastise them, I merely passed comment about their inconsistencies and my previous experiences with others that had similar behaviour patterns.

It does appear though that you are happy to chastise me, insult me personally and try to belittle my actions, experience and values without my consent, which seems somewhat hypocritical, and is a huge red flag in my opinion. What gives you that right exactly if it’s the very thing you think others shouldn’t do? I’ve been happy to debate with you and explain my thoughts and actions etc. without resorting to such behaviour, I shall let everyone draw their own conclusions from that.

[lilisass]

Wow, you guys!
feisty tigers...

My thoughts don't really matter but here they are: She can say whatever the fuck she wants to, but she has to accept that some people won't appreciate little inconsistencies. i think that just means that these people pay a lot of attention to detail. I know from past experience that Masterwants is in fact a good dom, he knows how to be a good friend as well. That's what i have to say!

oh and you guys have a beautiful day. I'd love to go back to sleep but school calls!

❤️❤️ Lili

[Dungeonmaster]

Guys, how about you take this discussion somewhere else?

I get the confusion and scepticism, especially related to online interactions, but this stuff really doesn't have to be under her add.
Even if that add caused it, it has become more of a fundamental discussion, which really shouldn't take place in this thread.