Question for Doms/Subs

[DiaperMan2223]

How do you make your experiences more engaging and interesting when you are giving and participating in dares? And how do you guys and gals come up with some of these dares?

I am interested in both sides (switch) but i guess i lean more towards a dom than a sub. I honestly dont have alot of experience in this area and im looking for information and pointers from both sides to help make the dares i give more interesting. Any help is appreciated.

[qmu]

For starters I don't think the ability to give good dares has anything to do with identifying as a sub or a dom. Thinking of a good dare, task, game, or whatever, kinky or not is a skill, and has more to do with creativity and putting effort onto it than domming or subbing. Actually, if there's no research involved, I think subs and switchs may have an advantage as they more probably have actual experience on whatever they are writing.

That said, do you mean specifically giving/receiving dares on this site?

If so, for receiving dares, to make it more interesting, thank people who gave you a task you liked, put effort in reports if the person asked for it, especially if it was a well though dare. That increases the chance of the person interacting again with you, and it's as a friend of mine once said "half of the game". Getting feedback and finding if the person you gave a dare to enjoyed themselves, or why they didn't is great. One of the most disheartening and infuriating things for me here is putting time and effort coming up with a creative dare and not getting even a "thank you" in return.

Now, for giving dares, that really varies. There are people who appreciate creative and silly dares, others that like challenging or even crazy unhealthy "that will only end in death" ones, and others who just actually want someone to tell them to masturbate *sigh*. I may be ranting a little but being both praised and chastised by giving creative dares the best advice I may give you is take your time and look at the person previous posts, like, dislikes, limits, etc. That may give you insight over what the person is actually looking for. Try to accommodate for what you think they want and think/research accordingly. If the person just want to be told "edge 5 times before cumming" and will be happy with it, that's it. If you think they'll like a whole rulebook over the next 100 games of chess including all their likes and toys and you think you're up to it, take the time to do it... =p

Not sure if this is what you're after, but I hope it helps.

[Blue Fox]

^---- Yup. That about said it all.

One thing that drives me nuts is the people who give dares based upon one of their kinks without even seeing if it is anything close to either the likes or dislikes of the person they are giving them to.

Qmu, if I could give you gold stars, you'd have gotten several for that post.

[nina@]

I'll give you my perspective on the topic

How do you make your experiences more engaging and interesting when you are giving and participating in dares?

First of all when you have interacted with people before it is more fun to engage in play with them as you know more about them. But of course we keep meeting new people and sensible and relevant dares accompanied with feedback and positive interaction is the first step to become known to them and not get lost in the crowd. That makes the experience fun and interesting.

How do you guys and gals come up with some of these dares?

Personally the most important thing to give a dare to someone is that it should pertain to their likes and dislikes and respect their limits. Secondly it should be based on the objective of the dare like for eg. if it is a punishment use dislikes and in the way it corrects behavior, if the dare is just for fun, use likes, if it is a daily rule, it should not be very complicated to affect real life and so on. Next time frame, we should be mindful and considerate of the time (including prep time) it would take to complete the dare and if the dare seeker can spare that amount of time. Lastly creativity and some thought could be put in to make it conceptual or just a lot of fun!!

[Blue Fox]

I have to admit... There are times I prefer people to use my dislikes (note: not limits) for my dares. This is because, being dislikes, they are things I wouldn't do unless told to do because the act itself I don't enjoy but I do enjoy being used like that.

Life can be weird.

[DiaperMan2223]

Very interestingly put Qmu, and i do some of that already as far as looking through their likes and dislikes, and stuff along those lines when im creating dares for people however, that being said alot of people on here share certain interests, how do you guys make up some of the extensive and creative dares that you do without making them repetitious?

I feel like sometimes i also get in a bind because there are some people who have interests that i do not have and I kind of end up in unfamiliar territory and am not sure what direction to take.

Also how do you go about finding a good dare for someone who doesnt have alot of likes and limits or doesnt have any at all? Do you ask them for more information or do you try and base a dare off of the limited information you have (if at all) and hope it is a good dare for them?

And as for the dom sub part of this question, i was asking more about that as well because i have had a few subs with similar interests as me. However i feel like they lose interest with me after a few dares and its mainly because i dont have a huge dare cache in my mind to pull dares from. So sometimes i repeat dares. I do ask for reports back but alot of times i dont get a "hey, i like this dare" or a "i dont like this dare" i get the description of what happened during the dare with no actual human imput.

[nina@]

Originally Posted by DiaperMan2223

Also how do you go about finding a good dare for someone who doesnt have alot of likes and limits or doesnt have any at all? Do you ask them for more information or do you try and base a dare off of the limited information you have (if at all) and hope it is a good dare for them?

And as for the dom sub part of this question, i was asking more about that as well because i have had a few subs with similar interests as me. However i feel like they lose interest with me after a few dares and its mainly because i dont have a huge dare cache in my mind to pull dares from. So sometimes i repeat dares. I do ask for reports back but alot of times i dont get a "hey, i like this dare" or a "i dont like this dare" i get the description of what happened during the dare with no actual human imput.

The link to punishment dictionary in my signature is a compilation of some creative dares that you can check out..

Apart from that I agree common kinks are limited and dares may get repetitive if given at face value but however if you add a concept or use different objects creatively or alter the sequence in the instructions you can get a lot of variation. You can also add some randomness to dares like including a roll of the dice etc..

For example you go to my dictionary link and see snakes without ladders link.. the same repetitive dare of using clothespins on boobs has been made innovatively

For specific kinks you can also search in this site using keywords for example diaper

[qmu]

Even sharing an interest, people are different. Someone saying they have "denial" as a like may mean something completely different than another person with the same. The first may mean he likes edging and teasing, while the next likes week long frustration. For random dares on the site I found that for people you have never interacted with that looking over their previous posts is a great way to know what they like, and may be enough to supplement "not having lot's of likes/limits". Even the type of threads they tend to post on may mean something. Sorry to generalize, but for example, I found that usually people who post a lot in "Person above..." threads care less about creativity and complex dares than people who do not =p. Also, reading the person list of PM Dares if they have one can help see what the person may or enjoy doing.

However, as nina@ put, if it's someone you interacted with, you get to know people and it becomes easier to come up with new spins to dares because you get a feeling of what they like and can start to throw more crazy stuff, like tie-ins with games, themes, combining tasks, random non-kinky things, etc. Again, like nina@ said, I agree that even a simple repetitive task may get more thrilling by adding some uncertainty or randomness to it.

Not sharing interesting is fine, but it means you have to put more effort and research into it. Though I do feel like you and tend to avoid going into places I do not know or understand.

[nina@]

qmu makes some important points above.. previous posts are a great source to hint at what may suit someone.. I also agree with qmu that the same kink may mean something different to different people..

I would just like to add that for receiving dares specially in a thread one can take some measures to increase visibility and get more responses.. firstly the threads objectives and what type of dares you are seeking should be clearly mentioned rather than an arbitrary "punish me for being naughty" or something and use a suitable and distinct title.. make the thread for a longer duration than a day because it takes time for people to be aware of the thread.. put a link of the thread in your signature and post in other people's tord thread answering to their requests appropriately (don't spam their threads about your thread.. just a link in your signature is enough).. chances are they will return the favour.. interact with and know more people as friends almost always post in other friends threads..

Sorry for hijacking this thread with a lot of inputs.. thanks to the OP for starting an interesting and important discussion..

[DiaperMan2223]

Thank you to Qmu and Nina@ for clearing up some questions i had. I have alot of information here and all thats left to do is learn how to implement it.