✖✖ Ask a Leopard for Useful and Practical Advice ✖ - Page 4

Leopard · 01-25-2011, 06:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shavedrachel

Lots of practical advice

if only i

was hungry
loved pingu
was a vegetarian
ran with a strap on
had trouble getting a girl friend
was looking for a mistress
was asking about a man or bear or pig
was wondering about cheese - (smile)
wanted to fuck you hard
wanted to fix hotmail
had sore fingers
paddling in chocolate pudding
thought you were mean
had so many questions for you to list
get super heavy period flow
had a favorite silver ring
wanted to travel to Australia
wondered about being face to face with kangaroo
wanted to know how to train a dragon
wanted to be on reality tv
wante to meet hitlur
wanted dangerous snakes
wondered about Australia shaped X
am size 10 and think i am fat
wondered what to do becuase im in love with you
wondered where you live
wanted to talk to a guy i know but dont speek to
wanted to jump to Australia for sex
wanted to know how to sex you
have an addiction to you
was nnoyed about someone not saying goodnight
have big breasts
want to learn how to give my bf head
consume rio mints
keep trolling a guys advice thread wonder if should stop
cry after i cum
wonder if to write complaint after bad advice
cant afford to pay the rent
enjoy subbing
Often have a bad headache
Yes can say that at least some of the above are true for myself and will be taking your advice. Can you gues which are true approx 6 - 8

ps - i only posted 1

Okay, you:

-want to fuck me hard
-want to travel to Australia
-wonder about being face to face with a kangaroo
-want to know how to train a dragon
-wonder about Australia shaped x
-wonder what to do because you're in love with me
-wonder where I live

But I'm going to say that you asked me about cheese.

Leopard · 01-25-2011, 06:57 PM

❝ What's the point of gays and lesbians if they can still like the opposite gender and be friends with them? ❞

Gays and lesbians fill a vital and important role in the community, which is being awesome. Surprisingly, they're still allowed to be friends with and like people of the opposite gender the same way that you're allowed to be friends with and like people of the same gender. It's stunning, and true!

P.S. It's also proven that gay people are 4% better at wrestling crocodiles than straight people.

Leopard · 01-26-2011, 03:33 AM

❝ How do I get better at Call of Duty Black Ops? ❞

Spend an hour every day playing Minesweeper, playing fast but being as accurate as you can. That'll improve your mouse accuracy--

What? No mouse? But isn't it an FPS?

Playstation 3?

ahahahahahaha

Go ask the pro 9 year olds for tips and let me know when you graduate to a PC >.>

Leopard · 01-26-2011, 07:37 PM

❝ Why do people ask stupid questions like, 'How come homosexuals have friends of the opposite gender?'

*eye roll* ❞

Basically, it's a trap. And you've just walked right into it. Now they're sitting behind the bushes, laughing at you. OH, poor, poor custard tart.

Leopard · 01-26-2011, 07:40 PM

❝ Im in Desperate need to be your Mistress, What should i do to check that this special person (Leopard) is the correct person for me. Should i ask him and what would the perfect opening fraise be

Love your New Mistress ❞

The ad is coming very soon, and will contain all the details that you so desperately desire. So while you may ask right now, information is coming in the form of a public announcement! Keep your eyes peeled!

The perfect opening phrase would be something imaginative, compelling, but most of all, something that tells me about you, that makes me want you. Why should I want to obey you? Because you told me to? Not good enough. You can do better. I know you have that drive in you, to be the best Mistress you can be. Please show it to me, Miss.

Leopard · 01-27-2011, 01:54 PM

❝ How do i be Leo's Mistress?
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Another question i have is how have you found time to:

Posts Per Day: 1,211
Taken off Leopards Profile

Love someone special X X X ❞

The first part was answered above. The second part is simple. I've found the time to make that many posts per day thanks to one special ability:

Time travel.

Leopard · 01-28-2011, 05:17 PM

❝ How can I stop thinking about you? ❞

Adopt a dinosaur and develop a hot, interspecies crush on it. Just beware of being eaten.

Leopard · 02-03-2011, 06:02 AM

❝ How do I go about finding a dinosaur to develop a crush on? ❞

Again, the answer can be surmised in two words: time travel.

But since I forgot to post this for like 3-4 days after initially reading it, I feel that it's only fair to give a more complete answer.

I don't think I'm that interesting. I don't believe I really haunt the alleys at night, riding dinosaurs and humping cute women. I don't believe that freedom of speech really exists, because every pissy whiny little fuck gets so offended over every little thing that isn't centered around their pathetic little attempts to get attention.

This is for you:

The drawing of this image crashed every app in Chrome, leading to a chain reaction that took out my entire computer (which really was due a restart; I don't even remember how long ago it was that I told my mouse's sexy blue pulsating glow to start up again.)

Leopard · 02-03-2011, 08:16 AM

❝ How long do you date someone before you have sex? ❞

Congratulations. You just made a number of girls fall over laughing. If they get hurt from the fall, or their stomachs split from amusement, or the deadly minuscule risus nex everto hear the thrilled trills of those girls who know me, crawl up their noses between intakes of breath, and begin to slowly nibble on their brain matter, I am holding you personally responsible.

How long do I date someone before I have sex? That's an inverse time period. I will have sex with them. After a few months of having sex, I will - very, very rarely - then date them.

Leopard · 02-03-2011, 11:23 PM

❝ I'm really into castration. How can I go about finding a boy that would be willing to make that commitment to me? ❞

Tell them you'll go on cam naked and masturbate as a slave if they do it for you.

Leopard · 02-05-2011, 08:50 PM

❝ Erm, I don't see what you answer had to do with my question. Still, how do I time travel?
NB I think the whole dates before sex thing meant 'one' not you personally. ❞

My answer had everything to do with it. If you travel to a different time, things are different. One of those times must fit the criteria that you desired.

I don't care what the dates before sex thing meant. It was asked me and I know best. Shut up and make out with a dinosaur before I whip you and stick you in a cage :3

Leopard · 02-06-2011, 07:32 PM

❝ Where shuold I get married? ❞

You should get married hang gliding down from the top to the bottom of the Grand Canyon. Priest must also be on a hang glider, and all vows must be finished before touching the bottom, or the marriage is null and void and must be attempted again. Naked.

Leopard · 02-06-2011, 07:33 PM

❝ why do i have a sadistic shakra when im subby? ❞

I don't know what a shakra is, but this sounds like weird voodoo shit. The Leo voodoo doll is not on sale at a nearby store, and I will never admit to one looking anything like me.

Leopard · 02-06-2011, 07:35 PM

❝ HOW DO I TIME TRAVEL DAMMMIT?
In case you refuse to respond to this as I am 'shouting' (your fault, annoying person):
How do I time travel? ❞

Look, if you haven't even mastered the basics of time travel, I really don't think you have any cause for yelling at me for being an annoying person. Evolve a bit further, and maybe in the future, future you will come back and show you how it's done.

Leopard · 02-06-2011, 07:37 PM

❝ Is it possible that I'm gay concerning sexual preferences, but still I truly love one girl, care for her, and want to spend the rest of my life with her, just I don't feel the need to have sex with her? I'm confused really. Thanks in advance. ❞

It's entirely possible that you're gay concerning sexual preferences, but still you truly love one girl, care for her, and want to spend the rest of your life with her, just you don't feel the need to have sex with her. I know it's confusing, but there really aren't any rules. You can be whatever the hell you want to be, and just as often, wind up being what makes no sense at all. You are who you are.

01-25-2011, 06:57 PM	#47
Leopard Truth or Dare Enthusiast Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 2,522	❝ What's the point of gays and lesbians if they can still like the opposite gender and be friends with them? ❞ Gays and lesbians fill a vital and important role in the community, which is being awesome. Surprisingly, they're still allowed to be friends with and like people of the opposite gender the same way that you're allowed to be friends with and like people of the same gender. It's stunning, and true! P.S. It's also proven that gay people are 4% better at wrestling crocodiles than straight people.

01-26-2011, 03:33 AM	#48
Leopard Truth or Dare Enthusiast Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 2,522	❝ How do I get better at Call of Duty Black Ops? ❞ Spend an hour every day playing Minesweeper, playing fast but being as accurate as you can. That'll improve your mouse accuracy-- What? No mouse? But isn't it an FPS? Playstation 3? ahahahahahaha Go ask the pro 9 year olds for tips and let me know when you graduate to a PC >.>

01-26-2011, 07:37 PM	#49
Leopard Truth or Dare Enthusiast Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 2,522	❝ Why do people ask stupid questions like, 'How come homosexuals have friends of the opposite gender?' eye roll ❞ Basically, it's a trap. And you've just walked right into it. Now they're sitting behind the bushes, laughing at you. OH, poor, poor custard tart.

01-26-2011, 07:40 PM	#50
Leopard Truth or Dare Enthusiast Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 2,522	❝ Im in Desperate need to be your Mistress, What should i do to check that this special person (Leopard) is the correct person for me. Should i ask him and what would the perfect opening fraise be Love your New Mistress ❞ The ad is coming very soon, and will contain all the details that you so desperately desire. So while you may ask right now, information is coming in the form of a public announcement! Keep your eyes peeled! The perfect opening phrase would be something imaginative, compelling, but most of all, something that tells me about you, that makes me want you. Why should I want to obey you? Because you told me to? Not good enough. You can do better. I know you have that drive in you, to be the best Mistress you can be. Please show it to me, Miss.

01-27-2011, 01:54 PM	#51
Leopard Truth or Dare Enthusiast Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 2,522	❝ How do i be Leo's Mistress? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Another question i have is how have you found time to: Posts Per Day: 1,211 Taken off Leopards Profile Love someone special X X X ❞ The first part was answered above. The second part is simple. I've found the time to make that many posts per day thanks to one special ability: Time travel.

01-28-2011, 05:17 PM	#52
Leopard Truth or Dare Enthusiast Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 2,522	❝ How can I stop thinking about you? ❞ Adopt a dinosaur and develop a hot, interspecies crush on it. Just beware of being eaten.

02-03-2011, 06:02 AM	#53
Leopard Truth or Dare Enthusiast Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 2,522	❝ How do I go about finding a dinosaur to develop a crush on? ❞ Again, the answer can be surmised in two words: time travel. But since I forgot to post this for like 3-4 days after initially reading it, I feel that it's only fair to give a more complete answer. I don't think I'm that interesting. I don't believe I really haunt the alleys at night, riding dinosaurs and humping cute women. I don't believe that freedom of speech really exists, because every pissy whiny little fuck gets so offended over every little thing that isn't centered around their pathetic little attempts to get attention. This is for you: The drawing of this image crashed every app in Chrome, leading to a chain reaction that took out my entire computer (which really was due a restart; I don't even remember how long ago it was that I told my mouse's sexy blue pulsating glow to start up again.)

02-03-2011, 08:16 AM	#54
Leopard Truth or Dare Enthusiast Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 2,522	❝ How long do you date someone before you have sex? ❞ Congratulations. You just made a number of girls fall over laughing. If they get hurt from the fall, or their stomachs split from amusement, or the deadly minuscule risus nex everto hear the thrilled trills of those girls who know me, crawl up their noses between intakes of breath, and begin to slowly nibble on their brain matter, I am holding you personally responsible. How long do I date someone before I have sex? That's an inverse time period. I will have sex with them. After a few months of having sex, I will - very, very rarely - then date them.

02-03-2011, 11:23 PM	#55
Leopard Truth or Dare Enthusiast Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 2,522	❝ I'm really into castration. How can I go about finding a boy that would be willing to make that commitment to me? ❞ Tell them you'll go on cam naked and masturbate as a slave if they do it for you.

02-05-2011, 08:50 PM	#56
Leopard Truth or Dare Enthusiast Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 2,522	❝ Erm, I don't see what you answer had to do with my question. Still, how do I time travel? NB I think the whole dates before sex thing meant 'one' not you personally. ❞ My answer had everything to do with it. If you travel to a different time, things are different. One of those times must fit the criteria that you desired. I don't care what the dates before sex thing meant. It was asked me and I know best. Shut up and make out with a dinosaur before I whip you and stick you in a cage :3

02-06-2011, 07:32 PM	#57
Leopard Truth or Dare Enthusiast Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 2,522	❝ Where shuold I get married? ❞ You should get married hang gliding down from the top to the bottom of the Grand Canyon. Priest must also be on a hang glider, and all vows must be finished before touching the bottom, or the marriage is null and void and must be attempted again. Naked.

02-06-2011, 07:33 PM	#58
Leopard Truth or Dare Enthusiast Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 2,522	❝ why do i have a sadistic shakra when im subby? ❞ I don't know what a shakra is, but this sounds like weird voodoo shit. The Leo voodoo doll is not on sale at a nearby store, and I will never admit to one looking anything like me.

02-06-2011, 07:35 PM	#59
Leopard Truth or Dare Enthusiast Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 2,522	❝ HOW DO I TIME TRAVEL DAMMMIT? In case you refuse to respond to this as I am 'shouting' (your fault, annoying person): How do I time travel? ❞ Look, if you haven't even mastered the basics of time travel, I really don't think you have any cause for yelling at me for being an annoying person. Evolve a bit further, and maybe in the future, future you will come back and show you how it's done.

02-06-2011, 07:37 PM	#60
Leopard Truth or Dare Enthusiast Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 2,522	❝ Is it possible that I'm gay concerning sexual preferences, but still I truly love one girl, care for her, and want to spend the rest of my life with her, just I don't feel the need to have sex with her? I'm confused really. Thanks in advance. ❞ It's entirely possible that you're gay concerning sexual preferences, but still you truly love one girl, care for her, and want to spend the rest of your life with her, just you don't feel the need to have sex with her. I know it's confusing, but there really aren't any rules. You can be whatever the hell you want to be, and just as often, wind up being what makes no sense at all. You are who you are.