♥ Strip Poker with a Twist --- the Aftermath ♥ (no comments)

[owlart]

Thanks Rachie. I shall have to think about a joke, all mine are rubbish!

[slutjuice]

An escaped convict broke into a house, and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom. As soon as he had a chance, the husband turned to his gorgeous young wife, bound-up on the bed in a tiny, thin, silk nightgown, and whispered, "Honey, this guy hasn't been with a woman in years. Just go with whatever he wants. If he wants to have sex, just do it, and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it!"
"Honey," the wife said, out of the corner of her gag, "I'm so relieved you feel that way, because he just told me he thinks you have a nice, firm, tight ass!"


Just imagine, a slug on your pussy.

[Younggirl18]

A farmer is lying in bed with his wife when he turns to her grabs her tits and says "Honey if you could get milk out of these we could sell the cow". Then he grabs her pussy and says "Honey if you could get eggs out of here we could sell the chickens". She turns to him smiles,grabs his dick and says "Honey if you could get this up I could get rid of your brother"

[12356416514a]

Jokes hmmm well I know a lot of German jokes, but they are not easy to translate. Here is English one from my collection:

Jack woke up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas party. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party.
As bad as he as feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw was couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table.
And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sat up and saw his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.
He looked around the room and saw that it was in perfect order, spotlessly clean.
So was the rest of the house. He took the aspirins, and cringed when he saw a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror.
Then he noticed a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick:
"Honey, breakfast is on the stove. I left early to get
groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling!"
He stumbled to the kitchen and sure enough, there was hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son was also at the table, eating.
Jack asked, "Son, what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 A.M, drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway,
and got that black eye when you ran into the door."
Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??
His son replied, "Oh THAT! Mum dragged you to the bathroom to clean you up, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone bitch, I'm married!"


It's a little long but all I got atm

[shadowofchaos]

the police arressted two boys yesterday
one was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks
they charged one and let the other off

we three kings of orient ah
one in a taxi one in a car
one on a scooter
beeping his hooter
smoking a fat cigar

ohhhoh star of wonder
star of night
sit on a box of dynamite
light the fuse
and read the news
and you'll be on the moon tonight

how many blonde jokes are there?
just this one the rest are all true stories

[amenablerebel]

A newlywed couple just moved into their new house.

One day the husband comes home from work and his wife asks for a favor, "Honey, the car won't start, I think that it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?"

"What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" was his response.

A weeks go by, and it's raining pretty hard. His wife then finds a leak in the roof. She pleads with him as he's walking through the door. "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?"

He just looked at her and said, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" and sat down with a beer and watched a game on tv.

One weekend the husband woke up and it was pouring pretty hard, but the leak on the roof was gone!

His wife was coming home just then, and as she walked through the door, the husband asked, "Honey, how come there aren't any more leaks, and the car's running?"

She replied nonchalantly, "Oh, the other day I was picking up the mail, and I ran into one of our new neighbors, Jon. What a nice man. He came over and fixed everything."

"Wow, did he charge us anything?" asked the husband.

"No, he just said that he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or had sex with him." she said.

"Cool. What kind of cake did you make?" asked the husband.

"Cake? What the hell do you think I look like, Betty Crocker?

[Lincoln.Amber]

Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.

The driver blonde turned to her friend and said “You know – it’s blondes like that that give us a bad name!”

To this, the other blonde replies “I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I’d go out there and drown her.”

[Davestrippoker]

Great part. No good a jokes though

[J.M.N]

Great chapter Rachie, i can't really think of an amazing joke because i'm not really that funny, i was thinking at first about uploading a video of me dancing because that would definitely make you laugh! Heres a joke that i find funny though

Two psychiatrists were walking down a hall.

One turned to the other and said, "Hello."

The other one thought, "I wonder what he meant by that."

[Cute emma]

Whats the story line gunna be next? Cant wait to find out

[_CBTslave_]

I have the same problem, I only know jokes that are in swedish, but this one is one of my favs:

There once was a man in the desert, that bought a camel, but he was unhappy with the speed of the camel so he brought it back to the dealer.
"Sir, this camel is so slow" the man said
"no no sir, just back it up into this tent" the dealer replied
The man backed the camel in, and the dealer took 2 bricks and slaped the camels nutsack, making the camel run of faster than ever.
The man looked puzzled, and asked: "Well how am I supposed to catch it now?"

The dealer replied: "Just back into the tent sir"

[princessjessie]

nice part of the story, thought i was more behind than i was but nevermind

love you rachel xx

[daremaster 1]

Lovely part! But no joke....

[Sintrac]

Great chapter Rachie, I wonder what John is up to now.


A bus full of nuns crashes and unforunatly they all die,at the gates of heaven they meet St Peter.
He asks the first nun "Have you ever had any contact with a penis?" The nun replies "I poked one once." St Peter says "Wash your finger in this holy water and enter heaven."
He asks the next nun the same question, she replies "I fiddled with one once". "Wash your hand in this holy water and enter heaven."
Then St Peter hears a commotion among the other nuns and one nun pushes to the front.
"Whats wrong?" he asks.
The nun replies "If im going to have to gargle that holy water, I want to do it before Sister Anne washes her ass in it".

[blue eyes]

Look forward to the next, sure t be funny with jokes