Sub qualities

pluky · 12-13-2022, 07:30 AM

I've seen people talking about Dom qualities, they need to be empathetic, patient, etc etc but what about Sub qualities ? What are traits and behaviors that make a good Sub, or that you personally (taste, subjective) appreciate in a Sub ?

I was thinking after pin pointing such qualities, I would make a thread asking if people could tell which ones they think they have and which they might be lacking.

csuju · 12-13-2022, 07:58 AM

Communicative

Open

Self-respecting (e.g. will push back when limits are being broken / things aren't safe)

Respectful

IceMaiden · 12-13-2022, 02:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by csuju

Respectful (though bratty subs break this a bit ofc)

Either you haven't dealt with a brat before but a little shit or you have little to no experience with genuine brats or very few... I do not break being respectful and yet I am a brat. Please don't generalize. We get enough bad rep that we are bad submissives, disrespectful etc.

Back on topic...

Note: This is only what I personally look for in a sub (and I am not looking)

Honesty
Willing to communicate
Willing to at least try things (Not limits obviously.)
Humorous.
Self aware
Bratty (Not disobedient/disrespectful)
Able to talk outside of kink
Open to friendship first
Submissive not a doormat
Will say if there is an issue (Guess that falls under communication)
Loyalty

csuju · 12-14-2022, 02:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IceMaiden

Either you haven't dealt with a brat before but a little shit or you have little to no experience with genuine brats or very few... I do not break being respectful and yet I am a brat. Please don't generalize. We get enough bad rep that we are bad submissives, disrespectful etc.

You are correct in thinking I've not had much experience with brats, and I apologize for the generalisation - I have updated my post to remove that section.

Strangest · 06-26-2023, 09:13 PM

I think it depends a lot on the kind of top you have. But for me empathy is very important for subs as well as doms. Being happy because your partner is happy makes everything click a lot faster. Also being comfortable in the role is huge. For me at least that's something I still struggle with. But not running away from how good it feels to be dominated is something I still try to get better at.

MissyK · 07-07-2023, 09:50 AM

I'll echo others. Communication and clarity. I look for someone who has the same values as me. I think a sub should be learning about kinks as much as dom as well. It's very important to know the risks with different kinks in order to give informed consent

There's mostly just red flags that I have to weed out more than green flags tbh

12-13-2022, 07:30 AM	#1
pluky getDare Devil Join Date: Aug 2022 Posts: 1,043 Blog Entries: 91	Sub qualities I've seen people talking about Dom qualities, they need to be empathetic, patient, etc etc but what about Sub qualities ? What are traits and behaviors that make a good Sub, or that you personally (taste, subjective) appreciate in a Sub ? I was thinking after pin pointing such qualities, I would make a thread asking if people could tell which ones they think they have and which they might be lacking.

12-13-2022, 07:58 AM	#2
csuju Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2016 Location: UK Posts: 138	Communicative Open Self-respecting (e.g. will push back when limits are being broken / things aren't safe) Respectful __________________ 30-something M Switch Likes: semi or hidden public, joi, edging, pics, teasing, denial, games Limits: family, permanent, semi-permanent, piss, scat, face Toys: Wevibe Vector (app-controlled prostate massager), chastity cage, two vibrating cock rings, vibrating buttplug, anal beads, small and medium butt plugs, realistic 6" dildo, bra, panties, plus normal household things. I can only get toys when home alone. Kik: csuju Read about my shopping trip Last edited by csuju; 12-14-2022 at 02:43 AM.

06-26-2023, 09:13 PM	#5
Strangest Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2023 Posts: 6	I think it depends a lot on the kind of top you have. But for me empathy is very important for subs as well as doms. Being happy because your partner is happy makes everything click a lot faster. Also being comfortable in the role is huge. For me at least that's something I still struggle with. But not running away from how good it feels to be dominated is something I still try to get better at. __________________ 34/male/California/switch Likes: messy, bondage, CBT, pain, orgasm control, chastity, anal, degradation, humiliation, piss, scat Limits: social suicide, permanent Kik: Ryan11370

07-07-2023, 09:50 AM	#6
MissyK Member Join Date: Oct 2022 Posts: 79 Blog Entries: 3	I'll echo others. Communication and clarity. I look for someone who has the same values as me. I think a sub should be learning about kinks as much as dom as well. It's very important to know the risks with different kinks in order to give informed consent There's mostly just red flags that I have to weed out more than green flags tbh __________________ 26/F Likes: Being mean to ABDL sissies