Mods - what is appropriate behavior

[ljfairy]

One of the mods decided tonight that although we were on topic in the BDSM room in chat we should leave. The description for this room says that it is for talking about BDSM, even though this is in the description of the room. Not because we were talking about things we shouldn't be, but simply being selfish. One line that really bugged me: "[19:45:54] Ok. I'm done. Next phrase that isn't asking for a play partner is getting a 20 minute ban." especially since the room isn't just for looking for play partners.

I have read through the applications for moderators, and there are several in there that look like good candidates. Perhaps the site should look at accepting some of these instead of dealing with the current mods who are prejudiced, lazy and ignorant.

I know the work is hard - but that is not an excuse to take your temper out on other people who are actually doing the right thing.

I know it's likely this will get deleted and I will get banned, however I want to voice my opinion... I've been here for several years, and although they weren't perfect, I miss the old mods, at least they were honest and fair.

[nellybell]

You know what's funny? Even though after you called me a shit mod, I still didn't ban you. Even though that is considered offensive behavior. Even after I told you to move several times, along with other mods, we still didn't ban you. I forgot, I'm evil. Making people follow the rules to keep things in line makes me evil, ignorant and lazy.

You were using the room for general conversation while you were talking in the lounge as well. The second I said something you changed topic just to fit within the constraints of the rules. We both know that wasn't what you were speaking about in the first place. I said that after several warnings for you to move. God forbid I have something to back up what I say and enforce the rules.

As for the applications, you have no idea what half of those people's history's are so who are you to tell us who is worthy of being modded or not.

[lokelake.]

It doesnt take much effort to move to the lounge.

You were not talking on-topic for what that room is intended for so you were breaking the rules.

There is the lounge for a reason.

[ljfairy]

I didn't actually call you a shit mod, I said that treating people like that is what makes shit mods.

You said yourself that you don't follow the rules, and then another mod went into the room and had a very similar conversation to what we were having... you had no problem with that.

The BDSM exchange is not intended as a place where you can send spammers when you can't be bothered to point them in the direction of the rules and then ban them if needed.

I didn't tell you to accept them, I said you should consider it, surely it's not only the background of the person that matters. There are many people who care about GD and would like to keep it well run.

[nellybell]

No you said that me not caring what you thought made me a shit mod, dear.

Though I am very curious as to when I said I didn't follow the rules though. I'm pretty darn sure that I actually do follow the rules, its one of those weird requirements of being a mod... As for other mods, I don't have control over what they say, and it isn't my place to tell them what to do. Much as it isn't you place to criticize mods for doing their job. Unlike you though, I actually take into account of what is socially acceptable.

I'm not sure when exactly you were on this site last, or how much attention you payed to what goes on in respective rooms, but the dare slave has ALWAYS been where we send people who are looking for play partners, or spammers as they are mostly known as. They are actually the few that follow the rules quite well, they actually use the room for its intended purpose. I am not going to ban them because you think they don't belong.

As for the applications, uhh, what? Of course we considered them. However there is quite a lot more involved in being a mod than just keeping the site running. The site will continue to run, modded or not. Background plays a HUGE role in who we consider. The amount of information that I have access to for one thing. All the information you used to sign up with I have access to. Your approximate location as well. You would want us to be very sure that we aren't letting some nut case be able to quite effectively stalk many people, no? So, while you may not like us, at least we won't be creeping into your room tonight to slit your throat.

[ljfairy]

The viewpoint of yes that's what the room description is, but I don't like it so I'm not going to use it for that. Your levels of acceptable and mine are clearly different.... I will say what I feel and if I think treatment is unjust I will say so.

When it was the dareslave, and I remember it being that, I have been here a long time, it was used for chat, some chat of a kinky nature but not all... it has been like that for years, and the mods even used to encourage us... I'm not entirely sure when or why that changed. You said yourself that you just send spammers there... surely that is not the point and proper moderation would be to inform, warn and ban offenders so the rest of us could enjoy full use of all the rooms, not just the lounge.

I do understand that background is important, and there is somewhat sensitive information... but if by some chance someone does managed to sneak into my house they'd need more skills than being able to read a location from an ip address.

[nellybell]

Treated unjustly... You know this is what I get for being nice. Every time I am actually nice, not just ban everyone and fuck it all, I get people running around screaming I am the worst human that has ever walked this earth. I didn't ban you, and I very well should have. I told you to move your general talk, and you were doing just that, into the right room. You pulled the general nonsense that ALL people tend to do in there and switch the topic in a desperate attempt to stay in the rules. I called bullshit and wouldn't let you do whatever you felt like, which is reasonable because it wasn't the first time that night. What a shame I make you follow the rules! The horror!

I don't really mind when people actually do talk about bdsm in that room. Its when people use it for whatever they like and only follow the rules when I bitch. At that point, I am kicking your butt out of there because too many people like ot camp in there and use it for whatever they like, and that included bashing the spammers. That is the spammers room to do what they do best, they aren't allowed to d it in the lounge so why should I let YOU general talk in their room and think that they are in the wrong? Hmm?

As for the old room, I have been in chat very regularly since I joined, the room has always been like that and I am not the first mod to not be ok with people camping in there. However, we all go through periods of not be arsed enough to care what people do. I highly doubt that there have been mods that told you "Oh! Go into the dare slave and talk in there! Screw the lounge, its for laaaames." Just, no. No.

And yes, I do send the spammers in there because that is their bloody room! You don't seem to be getting this concept at all. I don't know why. That. Is. Their. Room. I'm telling them the damn rules when I send them in there. Not a complicated concept here dear. You can go in there and spam to your hearts delight if you like, I won't stop you. You are also welcome to use the TorD room for its purpose and the scene room for its respective purpose. No one is stopping you from enjoying them, but you will enjoy them properly.

And on the rather unrelated topic, go with me here. Not all people do these, but there is an alarmingly large amount of people that use their full name in their email address. Now coupled with having your full name, your approximate location from your ip, and a quick search on facebook. I could tell you a lot about many people. Could probably even find their address through a phone book. If they have unsecured facebook and are prone to telling people where they are every second of their life through it. Not far fetched that, in the wrong hands, could get a wee bit ugly.

[Leopard]

Is being a mongoose like being a milf? I voted yes just in case.

[Manbearpig]

Edit: After reviewing this post, I believe this is my greatest contribution to the site.

[theone]

Originally Posted by ljfairy

I didn't actually call you a shit mod, I said that treating people like that is what makes shit mods.

That statement equates to the same thing. Maybe you just need some time away from the site in order to get things back into proper perspective. I never really go into the chat rooms but as an observer of this thread I think Nelly’s actions seem very fair and reasonable.

The internet can be a dangerous place. Likewise getDare could be a dangerous place if it was not administered correctly by mods that care about the safety of vulnerable people.

[Invisible]

Disengage Nelly - its not worth it. You do a great job.

[Red Fish]

Is it over? Should I bother going to get more popcorn?

[Red Fish]

Also, I feel some skepticism about the poll... There are more votes than this thread has views :P

[Red]

Originally Posted by theone

That statement equates to the same thing. Maybe you just need some time away from the site in order to get things back into proper perspective. I never really go into the chat rooms but as an observer of this thread I think Nelly’s actions seem very fair and reasonable.

The internet can be a dangerous place. Likewise getDare could be a dangerous place if it was not administered correctly by mods that care about the safety of vulnerable people.

This honestly has absolutely nothing to do with the thread but I'm just amazed that your limit is that you won't eat baby food. I've never seen that limit before and I'm so utterly amused by it, that's awesome!

[Leopard]

I fucking love eating baby food.