[FICTION] The Trials of Sara and Jim - Part 3

[interesting]

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CHAPTER 3: TRIALS OF FRIENDS


Here begins the next installement for the stories of Jim, Sarah and their friends. A word about the upcoming narrative :

There will be several storylines at play here, all interconnected of course, and because of the necessity of the parts themselves sometimes the narrator will change. I will always include the chapter number, the title of the storyline, the episode of that storyline as well as the narrator's name in the introduction, as a guideline to assist you all.

Hope you enjoy it as much as the previous ones.

Also, a great thanks to applebooty for doing the proofreading before I post.

[interesting]

No one ever assumes, going into a new relationship, that things are going to be easy all the time. If they do, then they're fooling themselves. Of course, no one expects the relationship to be impossible to bridge. There is always a way to make things better, to make things right.

That being said, I'm not one to preach by example for either scenario. I realize, now after the fact, that most of my relationships have ended badly, but without violence. I know it is not recommended to generalize but it is a fact that I have come to accept.

When I was seven, my best friend was a boy whose name need not be mentioned here. One day, he stole my bike - that is, he borrowed it for weeks at a time, never giving it back. Our friendship did not survive the third grade, and I never did get my bike back. Of course, if I'd involved my parents in the ordeal, they might have helped me reclaim it. That would have been the smart thing to do.

When I moved away towards the end of my elementary school, I left behind a girl friend who was one year my senior. We played together, and sometimes she'd actually let me win. We promised we would never lose touch. We would be best friends forever. I wrote to her twice, and she never wrote back.

The relationship with my first girlfriend lasted about a week. We kissed at a dance organized by our local church, then spent the week going out to play. For an obscure unfathomable reason, we pretended not to be together, and eventually, it so happened that we weren't anymore. I kept seeing her at mass until the end of my high school, when I stopped going because my parents stopped forcing me. Maybe we could have tried again, but I never made the effort to go see her.

First semester of college was intense. New place, new girl, and new situations. Rituals galore. I was fresh out of my catholic upbringing, fresh into a new way of thinking and trying to cope with a girl more spiritual than I had ever been in my life. I didn't fit in her surreal world of magic and incantations. I could have tried to adapt, I could have tried to bring her back to a form of sanity.

She was just too strange for me.

While I was in college, I lived with two to three other guys and we were the best of friends, inseparable. We did everything together, from studying to partying, and all the nooks and crannies in between. Liberated from parental constraints, able to move about at any time of the day and night and go practically anywhere, having just turned eighteen, sky was the limit. I stayed with these guys until they either graduated or dropped out. Again, the bonds that united us would keep us close forever. Yet, I have not seen one of them in six years. They all went their separate ways.

In my next to last semester, I met Kim. We had the same classes, hung out in the same places, did our homework together. After a party, she came back to my place, as restless as I am. My roommates were out. We started talking literature, citing poetry and love stories, until we started kissing, made out, stripped, had sex and then went to bed. She stayed with me for six months and we started talking plans for the future. Hers took her to Seattle; mine kept me in California. At the end of the final semester, right before graduation, we parted ways amicably. We wrote to each other for about one year, then she met someone else and I have never heard from her since.

The last straw was four years ago. I had just started working as a T.A. I had been living with my roommate at the time for two years before I started to realize some of my things were disappearing. I can be pretty oblivious at times. First, it was food. Next, my towels. Then some of my clothes. Finally, I lost my wallet for about a week, only to find it in his dirty laundry. He tried to explain he had picked it up for me and forgotten to give it back, but by that time, I had become aware of his misdeeds. I tried to get him to confess but he refused to acknowledge his guilt. I felt violated. I took him to court. Small claims. To this day, I still don't know what I did wrong. Was I not convincing enough? I probably should have pressed criminal charges. I moved my stuff out of the apartment and into storage, and I lived out of that storage for two weeks before finding my current place. I have not seen him since the trial, and good riddance.

I am telling you all this so you'll better understand the dilemma I am now facing with Sarah, my new girlfriend. We have been going out since three weeks now, and at any moment, I'm expecting the other shoe to drop. She has been great all this time, and all our activities are amazing. I had several days off before returning to work which we spent at my place, cuddling, talking, eating and making love. We barely got out to get groceries. As the new semester rolled around, she returned to her own place and we started seeing each other only at nights and weekends (and the occasional afternoon). We alternate sleeping between her place and mine, though I prefer to be at my place because we have to share the room with her roommate Jennifer at her place. Not that I don't like Jennifer, it's just that it helps to encourage intimacy when we're only the two of us.

Everyday I wake up, with or without her at my side, I ask myself: is this the last time you get to spend with Sarah? Why should this relationship be any different than your previous others? I have way too much time to think.

I started feeling things were getting complicated, and at first I did not know why. Then, a few days ago, something happened that suddenly put our situation in perspective.

It was the middle of Saturday afternoon. Sarah and I were in her room, engaged in erotic activities. We had spent the night apart because I had work to do and so did she, so that day, I had gotten up around ten and called her. We had met for brunch, then taken a walk in the park. Eventually ending up at her place. Her roommates are almost always gone on the weekends, and Jennifer was out, so we decided to take advantage of it.

She put on some lascive music while I sat on her bed. She started dancing to it, slowly stripping her white blouse, black skirt, white bra and panties, knee high black socks. After a while, she danced naked for me, bringing my arousal to its peak. She started to do undress me, socks first, then my t-shirt, pants. She played around with my underwear before removing it. I started kissing her nipples and she did the same. We lay down on her bed and started making out. We began to tease each other with our hands, knowing full well where this one was going.

And that's when she entered.

At first, we didn't actually stop, simply slowed down and looked at her. She remained in the door and stared. This caused two very disparate reactions in me. Sarah kept fondling me, and I felt excitement at the notion of being caught; yet, at the same time, we had been intruded upon and I sensed anxiety, which was a definite turn off.

Silence crept in the room, as Jennifer slowly walked towards her bed, suddenly looking away from us. Sarah stopped what she was doing, to both my dismay and my well-being. Jennifer dropped her handbag besides her bed. It was Sarah who broke the silence.

"Jenn... huh... sorry.
"No, it's okay, I mean, I should have knocked.
"No, this is your room too, we should have put a sock on the door, something.
"Hey... no problem. You guys are together. I get that."

Jennifer hurried out of the room. Whatever mood had been there previously had now eroded completely. I was going limp and Sarah was definitely disturbed. We looked at each other.

"What do we do? I asked.
"Well... she's my best friend; I should go talk to her.
"Do I stay here?
"No... you should come along. This concerns you too."

I agreed. She picked up her blouse and put it on without buttoning it; I borrowed her bathrobe and covered myself. We moved out of the room and found Jennifer in the living room, staring at the television set.

"Jenn?"

She turns to face us.

"Listen, Jenn, I'm sorry. I am.
"Don't be. I'm back early; the shoot took less time than expected.
"How did it go?
"Okay, I guess."

Jennifer was coming back from a nude photoshoot. She knew this photographer who took pictures of girls for a website and Jennifer was one of his models, although she used an alias for the website. I knew, both because I had been told but also because I had seen her naked previously on the internet, as model 'Sasha' from Europe. She had also given me a nice picture of herself (with the face blurred out)

some weeks ago, while I was being tested by Sarah and her friends.

"Tell me about it."

The girls needed to bond. I went to get myself something to drink, while listening in on the conversation.

"He had me do this shoot with two other girls. We were at a private pool, playing and prancing about in the water.
"New girls?
"No. I did a shoot with one of them last October; he just added another of his models. We posed as if we were... you know.
"I've seen some of your pics, I know."

They laughed. Good. The tension was melting away.

"Did you get samples?
"I did. Wanna see?
"Of course."

She opened an envelope lying on the living room table. I decided I wanted to see too.

"These are just snapshots, not the real deal."

She had five pictures to show. Three are of the girls standing around the pool, each one in a different naked pose. The fourth one showed them hugging. The fifth one had them faking oral stimulation on each other. Very stimulating.

"What do you think, Jim? asks Sarah.
"Very hot."

Jennifer almost blushed.

"Sorry I... broke your play, there.
"Don't worry about it; we can pick it up later. Right Jim?
"Yeah... no sweat."

For a moment, everything seemed fine. Then Jennifer picked up the conversation.

"You know, you could still do it."

Sarah looked at her, than at me.

"I mean, I know I broke the mood and all, but there's a way we could get it back, if you want to, of course."

I must have looked puzzled because Sarah spoke directly to me.

"Maybe she can ask for forgiveness by putting on a show for us?"

The idea intrigued me. I remembered the games from a few weeks past, the daring and the visual stimulation, the nudity and the eroticism of it all. Sarah and I had not indulged in anything like that since the party. Jennifer continued.

"Actually, I was thinking the show could be threefold."

Her comment hung in mid air, as I considered the implications. They were difficult to grasp. Sarah brought me back to the moment.

"What do you think, Jim? You wanna try it?"

[interesting]

Sometimes, it's hard to remember that it was only four weeks ago that I started to see Sarah. It took us a week of games and encounters to end up together. So far, we've had three weeks to get to know one another, very intimately, I might add.

In all that time, our personal lives had never been intruded upon by anything. We had managed to hold our almost daily liaisons away from prying eyes. It's entirely possible we lacked foresight. We should have anticipated that, at some point, Sarah's roommate, Jennifer, might fall upon us during our private times. Carelessness breeds incidents, and one had occurred.

This situation made Jennifer's proposal all the more intriguing. But my instincts were held back by my usual reserve of what I considered to be common sense.

"It depends. You'll have to be more specific here."

We had been looking at samples from an erotic photo shoot which Jennifer had just come back from. There she was, in the pictures, posing near a pool in all her naked glory, simulating erotic acts with two other lovely women. It was enough to stimulate my senses again. Now, if I understood correctly, Jennifer was offering to pose for me and Sarah, in order to get us back in the mood.

Actually, she seemed to be proposing more than that.

"We can make a game of it."

Whenever Sarah or Jennifer, or most of her friends, wanted to do something challenging or possibly out of traditional standards, they made a game out of
it. As if that made everything all right. In all fairness, it did help to take away the edge from whatever was proposed. It had helped me get to know Sarah better and end up with her.

"Okay, but I need to know the rules, before I agree."

My sensible suggestion was supported by Sarah, and I was glad she agreed with me. Or did she simply agree because she was looking forward to the game, and wanted to make sure I was included? Jennifer took advantage of my silence.

"Well, I was thinking we could do a strip game first. Since you're both naked, I'd be doing the stripping. Here's what I propose : I ask both of you for a truth or dare; whichever one takes it has to answer or perform, and in return I strip. Once I'm naked, it will be your turn to ask as me as many truths or dares as I have asked you.
"Sounds good, said Sarah. What do you think?
"Same limits as last time, I'm fine with that.
"Great.
"And part two? Sarah inquired.
"Well, we alternate taking pictures of each other, first as solo, then two by two. What we do with the pictures is up to us."

Sarah sensed I was tense at the idea of having naked pictures of me taken.

"You can show as little or as much as you want."

Her comment cooled my fears. The rules seemed reasonable, and I was getting excited again, thanks to the pictures and the talk about stripping.

"Do we roll random truths or dares? asked Sarah.
"Why not? It's more fun... if that's okay with you, Jim?
"Okay... why not?"

I finished my drink, then we all moved back towards the bed room. As soon as we entered, Sarah removed her blouse and I dropped the bathrobe. Nudity with Jennifer did not make me uncomfortable anymore, not after all the nudity from the previous party. Besides, there was something liberating about discarding all apparel and walking around naked. Jennifer went to the bathroom, so I took a few moments to talk to Sarah.

"How far do we take this?
"I don't know. How far do you want to take it?
"I don't know."

There was a long pause, then I spoke again.

"I like Jenn, she's cool. I don't know how much I can let her invade our privacy.
"Remember the party?
"Of course I do.
"Remember when you were tied up and blindfolded, and I was riding you...
"How could I forget?
"You remember all the other girls that were around?
"Faintly. It was... confusing at some point.
"Were you uncomfortable back then? Did you want to stop because there were other people there?
"No.
"Then let it play out here. We'll see what happens."

I nodded and decided to go along with her recommendation. If playing was a way of challenging myself, then why not let the challenge guide me?

Jennifer came back into the room and sat on her bed. We sat in front of her. I noticed Sarah was absent-mindedly playing with her breasts, possibly anticipating the game. Despite the interruption and the down that had followed, she seemed to be getting back into the mood as well.

"This is for my socks."

We nodded. Jennifer went to the computer and loaded the randomizer program.

"This one will be a truth...
"Wait, shouldn't we get to pick? I asked.
"That's not what we agreed upon, but if you want to...
"No. It's all right. I don't mind."

I decided now was not the time to be picky about rules. I had probably misunderstood that aspect. The computer generated a truth for us.

If a close friend asked you to video tape them having sex with their partner, would you?

There was a pause, as Sarah and I looked at each other to decide who would answer. She insisted that I get that one, possibly because she too wanted to know the answer.

"So all I would need to do is videotape them? I have to say it depends. If I was really comfortable with them, I'd say yes, no hesitation. Otherwise, I'd have to think about it."

I had never considered the possibility of videotaping myself - or anyone else for that matter - in the midst of intercourse. The idea had simply never popped into my head.

Jennifer pulled on her socks and tossed them in the corner of the room. She wiggled her toes for us while lifting her legs from the bed, then popped up.

"Now a dare... for...
"Your pants? asked Sarah.
"Sure. My pants."

Jennifer was wearing low-cut jeans, which snug tightly around her legs and behind. She knelt over the computer, lifting her ass to place an emphasis on it as she clicked for the next dare.

Take a nice, cold shower with your clothes on (shoes and socks off). You MUST STAND UNDER the water.

Sarah picked up the dare. She retrieved her blouse and her skirt, and put them back on. As she was dressing, she asked Jennifer:

"How long do I have to be in there?
"As long as you can bear it."

And with that, we were off to the bathroom. Sarah turned on the cold water and waited for it to cool down to extremes. She kissed me fleetingly, then stepped into the shower. Her reaction was instantaneous. The cold water caused her to cringe back, mouth open, holding back a scream. As the water dripped over her white blouse and the cloth clung to her form, I could make out her now erect nipples through the fabric, not to mention the skin. Jennifer was also staring at her in the same fashion. Sarah held on for about forty seconds, before quickly stepping out. She was shivering and I handed her a towel. She almost tore her clothes off removing them, then picked the towel and wrapped it around herself before hugging herself on me. Jennifer hugged her from the other side and we warmed her up a bit.

"That... was... cold."

We laughed, though Sarah's laugh was somewhat strained. We headed back to the bedroom, and Sarah brought along the towel to keep warming herself.

As we were sitting back down, Jennifer unzipped her pants while facing away from us, then she pulled them down. She was not wearing any underwear. All that remained on her was her green t-shirt, and I suspected she was not wearing any underwear. Sarah was feeling a tad better, and she applauded. Jennifer sat back down, facing us, and crossed her legs, but even from the distance, I could tell she was stimulated.

"Okay. One more time, for my top?"

She opted for another dare. As a courtesy, I'd have to do this one, unless it was specifically intended for a girl.

Masturbate someone else in the group. If they do not orgasm after four minutes, you must masturbate another person for the same amount of time, or until they orgasm.

I was taken aback by the dare. I had anticipated some level of stimulation in the game, comparable to what we had previously done in the other party. I distinctly remembered riding Bonnie's cleavage, and then rubbing myself against her stomach and releasing onto her breasts. It was hard to forget. This new dare had the same feeling to it, something which I wanted to do, but made me afraid of the consequences.

Sarah looked at me, asking silently if I wanted to it. She would have done it without hesitation, I was pretty certain of that. I did not know if I actually wanted her to perform the dare. There was some clear hesitation on my part. Jennifer intervened.

"You can always do a forfeit, instead.
"No."

The word leapt out of my mouth without my consent. I took back control, but decided that if my initial feeling was to accept, then I should at least try it out. I could always back out in the middle of it and do a forfeit instead. I also remembered that I had been given the privilege of being stimulated in front of the girls in the party - but was it really a privilege? In any case, masturbating Sarah in front of Jennifer was not something I was really uncomfortable with, as long as Jennifer simply watched.

"No, I'll do it. I'll start with Sarah."

I was confident that, within four minutes, I could give Sarah an orgasm. I looked at her and she understood. She knelt down on the bed, her legs apart, slightly tilted towards Jennifer so Jennifer could see what was going on. As I knelt into position, I noticed Jennifer was taking off her shirt, exposing her breasts. Jennifer went to the computer and started the timer, at which point I began caressing Sarah's private area with my fingers.

At first, it felt strange to be touching Sarah with Jennifer looking on. Somehow, she was invading our privacy, and yet, it was definitely turning me and Sarah on. As seconds passed and Sarah began to moan lightly, for my benefit mostly, it got more natural, and I somehow forgot about Jennifer's presence and stare, focusing solely on the task at hand. My instinct was to keep an eye on the clock, but eventually, I stopped caring. Sarah's pleasure became my sole focus. Having lost track of time and location, I went about my business.

Eventually, I sensed Sarah tensing up. That's when I first became aware that she was resisting my stimulation. I looked up and noticed it had almost been three minutes. She was resisting the orgasm, at least, that's what it seemed like. She was daring me further. In a strange fit of panic, I started working her harder. I had been relatively gentle, pushing myself in and out with care, caressing the sensitive regions as best as I could so as not to hurt her. An unbefore felt instinct drove me to hasten the pace, work with less diligence and more power. Yet, despite my best efforts, despite my renewed vigor, when the chime from the countdown clock on the computer rang, Sarah had not had an orgasm.

I pulled away, like a boxer retreating to his corner after the round is over. Sarah was panting heavily, trying to recuperate from my manipulations of her. Why had she resisted? Did she actually want me to masturbate her best friend and former girlfriend? My mind was blank. It was hard for me to fathom wanting her to see me take care of someone else. Or was it simply because since this was a dare, she had acted as she always did, with disregard to the consequences? Unfortunately, now was not time nor the place to discuss these things.

Jennifer had laid down on her own bed, her legs spread apart, awaiting my caress. Could they have planned this beforehand, like the rest of the activities they had done previously? Somehow, I doubted this was a concerted effort. Sarah had finally gotten up. Her eyes asked me if I wanted to do it and I did not have an answer for her. Again, some automatic response triggered into me and I left Sarah's bed and moved to Jennifer's. If my girlfriend did not mind, why should I?

As Sarah straightened herself to get a better view of the situation, I bent near Jennifer's sex and neared my hand. Her warmth was impressive, and I could tell she was as stimulated as one can be. I had not even bothered to wipe my fingers. I started caressing her gently, and she immediately moaned with pleasure. Somehow, this stimulated my response and I slid fingers into her and started playing. We did not even bother to start the timer on this one. I felt Sarah's stare focused on my work, and somehow, I did not want to disappoint, so I gave it my best shot. Jennifer was not resisting anything, and before long, was having an orgasm in front of me. Her entire body arched from the pleasure, almost twisting my wrist as I was forced to move it accordingly. I left my fingers in her for a few moments longer as she cooled down.

Reason overcame the suddenness of the act and I quickly backed away to Sarah's bed. She handed me tissues so I could wipe my fingers. I felt light-headed. Jennifer simply laid on her back, still exhausted and trembling from my stimulation. Sarah gave me a glass of water and I drank it down in one gulp. She kissed me gently on the lips, and thanked me for what I had done. At the moment, I had nothing to answer, but I tried to take a mental note to bring the subject up at a later time.

Eventually, Jennifer recovered and sat on her bed. Despite being flushed, she did not even hint at what had happened, which left me wondering.

"Okay... that was number three, I am now naked... which means, it's your turn to ask me anything."

I then remembered the second part of our little game. We had to challenge her now. Given what had just transpired, I wondered how much further this could go. I was certain there were things that were beyond the realm of possibilities - I also knew lines were blurring and conventions were eroding. There was a battle going on, inside me, between reason and passion. And apparently, I was letting passion win.

[interesting]

Sarah, Jennifer and I were all naked in their room now. Sarah was sitting beside me on her bed, while Jennifer looked upon us from the other side of the room, on her own bed. I was still somewhat shaken by what had just transpired. After having been interrupted in our activities by Jenn's arrival, we had agreed to allow Jenn to get us back in the mood by playing with us.

Things had gone further than I had initially expected. I had just masturbated both of the girls, first Sarah, then Jennifer, as part of a dare. I still had the echo of Jenn's moans in my head, and despite drying my fingers, I still felt the wetness of her sex, as if my fingers were still in her. Sarah had offered me some water that I drank in one gulp. I was now contemplating my situation. The tables had turned, and it was now our turn to present Jennifer with truths or dares, determined randomly by the computer.

I was beginning to resent the randomness of the activity, partially because there was no one to blame if anything went wrong. No one but ourselves. Still, because I felt Sarah wanted to go on, I said nothing and simply stared at the computer screen.

"So... what do you want from me?"

Jennifer's tone was playful, almost innocent. Despite the fact that I had just given her an orgasm, and by the sound of it, an extremely pleasant one, she was acting all aloof, as if nothing had happened. I did not know exactly how to feel about it. Part of me was flattered from her reaction, another part was flustered by the lack of acknowledgement, yet another part was glad that there seemed to be no consequences to my actions. Even Sarah seemed okay with it.

"Why don't we start with a truth?"

Sarah took the initiative and it suited me fine. I still needed some time to process the events. The computer came up with a new question once Sarah clicked on the choice.

When was the first time you had sex with someone you really cared about?

Jennifer barely took time to think.

"My first time was always the most memorable or meaningful to me. And it was with you, Sarah. We'd been playing around for some weeks, then Claire and Cassie started having sex in front of us. Needless to say, I was turned on. We watched them go at it, understanding what they were doing, and clumsily emulated them. That was my first time, and the one I remember most."

I saw Sarah blushing and wondered how much of her reaction could be her own nostalgia and how much could be simple current stimulation. Sarah remained silent, so I had to take control of the initiative.

"Let's have you do a dare."

Sarah, who was still beside the computer, clicked on the button for me.

Put TARGET player's sex (in underwear or not) in your face.

Jennifer hesitated for a moment, then looked at Sarah.

"You do it."

I stared at Sarah, wondering how far she was willing to go. She barely even looked at me as she moved towards Jennifer, who was lying down on her back. Sarah climbed on top of Jennifer's face, smothering it completely. I saw Sarah's eyes close, and although I could not exactly see what was happening from my vantage point, I could imagine very well. Sarah remained there for several seconds and what seemed to be an eternity; my gaze went to both their forms. There was no denying my external stimulation, but internally was another race going on, still uncertain.

Sarah finally rose and returned to the bed. She was blushing, almost panting. My gaze went to her crotch : I had never seen it so wet and swollen, even when I performed my own ministrations. She sat back down, placing a hand on my hip, keeping me hard with that slight gesture.

Stand naked in the shower. One player covers you with toppings. Another comes and licks them off during intercourse. Group may watch at your discretion.

"Now hold on, I said. That one actually suggests intercourse? That's too far."

I looked at Sarah for support, and although I saw her nod in my favor, I could tell she was in a highly susceptible state. I wondered if Jennifer was aware of this, and if so, would she take advantage of it.

"Look, Jenn, I agreed to the same limits as last time, and I've been pretty lenient right now. I mean... we've done masturbation... and you just... ate Sarah up, sort of. I have to draw a line somewhere.
"Maybe we can amend it.
"How do you propose?"

I was hoping Sarah would join in and assist me in defusing the situation, but Sarah was in no condition to take decisions that could leave an impact.

"Let's break it down. We can do the shower, and the toppings. One of you licks the toppings off me, while being taken.
"I'm sorry to say that's not good enough, Jenn. It sounds too much like a... threesome.
"Okay... what do you propose then?"

I could hear the exasperation in her voice.

"We'll do the toppings... on your bed, and we'll both eat them up. Sounds fair?"

She must have known that I was at my wits ends, because she immediately agreed. She said she'd get the toppings and hurried out of the room. I managed that time to bring Sarah back to me.

"I'm so wanting you right now...
"I know. Do you want us to stop the game?
"No... let's finish this dare... then we'll..."

Jennifer came back up, with chocolate syrup, caramel and honey. She laid them beside the ground, then started opening the containers. I moved to one side of her bed while Sarah moved to the other. We started pouring some toppings on her chest and started licking it off. Sarah poured honey in her mouth and started kissing her passionately. Chocolate syrup went into her navel and I licked it all off. I could smell Jennifer's sex near my face and feel its intoxicating effect. Sarah could not stop kissing Jennifer : she looked drunk to me, but of course, I knew she had not taken anything. The image of their mouths locking together, their lips moving about and their tongues was too intense, and for the third time in the day, the instincts took over. I walked around the bed, and moved Sarah on all fours on top of Jennifer. From my angle, I could now see both of their sexes exposed. I aimed for Sarah's and climbed onto the bed myself, entering my girlfriend from behind as she kept kissing her best friend. Sarah's moan was muffled by the ongoing kiss.

I worked on Sarah for only a few seconds before moving away, somewhat more aware of what I was doing. When I pulled out, still unfinished, Sarah stopped kissing Jennifer and seemed to get a grip on her situation, because she moved off Jennifer and returned to her own bed, laying down on all fours, facing towards Jennifer. I walked around the bed and entered her again. I saw Jennifer move about and reach for her drawer. She pulled out a large sex toy and went to work on herself with it. I got distracted by the sight but only for a few moments. Sarah was working me hard and I started to accompany the motion.

I had a full view of Jennifer and her play, and so did Sarah. The fact that there was distance separating us somehow dropped all my inhibitions, as I started pounding hard on Sarah, at times visualizing I was doing it to Jennifer. When Jennifer's orgasm broke out, it triggered my own, as I released into Sarah, my girlfriend also felt the experience and held nothing back. We kept playing at it for a few more moments, letting the tension die down.

I pulled myself out of Sarah at the same time Jennifer pulled out her toy. We all laid down on our beds, spent and satisfied from the day's activities. I could not know at the time what was going on through Sarah's mind, I only knew that something had snapped in me, something I thought rigid and static. Had I been a more adventurous man, I would have taken Jennifer as well. Questions were popping into my brain, questions that, if left unanswered, could find a way to haunt me later on.

My gaze wandered across to Jennifer's bed. I saw her full figure resting against her covers. She was staring at the ceiling. I noticed Sarah was doing the same. She then turned to kiss me, before getting up slowly, as if every movement was difficult.

"I'm going to wash myself. Coming, Jim?
"Okay."

I got up, and realized I too was having problems moving. Jennifer did not move as we made our way out of the bedroom and into the bathroom.

"That was fun, commented Sarah.
"Fun... yeah.
"What's wrong?"

I shut the door and locked it.

"Do you realize what just happened?
"You mean what didn't happen.
"Exactly. I mean... would you have been okay with it, if it had come to this?
"Jim, I don't know."

She started the water to fill the bath.

"Did you want to do her?
"Yes... well, at some point yes. And don't tell me it's normal, I know it is."

Sarah sat down on the toilet bowl, seat cover down.

"I like Jennifer too, I continued, but really, this game we just played... it was all too much somewhat.
"So you didn't enjoy it?
"That's the problem. I did. And it scares me. I mean, what if something had happened? Where does that take you and me? Have you ever had this situation before, with any of your other boyfriends?
"Only with Brad... and never quite like this. I think... it's easier when there are more people around."

Sarah looked away for a moment.

"Jennifer is really down, right now, and this was a good way of cheering her up.
"Is she jealous? Of us?
"Maybe. I'm not sure. I still love her, you know that.
"I know. She was your lover, she's your best friend.
"But it's you I want to be with, all the time. Since we've started going out, we haven't done a drill session?
"Drill session?"

I look at Sarah, puzzled. She laughs.

"We... take care of ourselves while watching the other do it.
"Oh!"

Now I must have blushed. Sarah laughs.

"We used to do it once a week. Sometimes twice.
"You stayed on your beds and watched the other masturbate?
"Yes."

There was a moment of hesitation on my part, then I spoke.

"Well, I don't see the harm in that, if you want to continue."

My words surprised myself. Sarah smiled.

"That's just it. I'm not sure I want to continue. When I come... I want it to be with you!"

Her answer both pleased and intrigued me. Our relationship had definitely altered the nature of Jennifer and Sarah's own relationship. We were going to have to find a way to help them cope with these changes. And I knew how much Jennifer meant to Sarah.

"Well, we'll have to think about it, then.
"I guess we will."

I kissed Sarah. We were facing a new dilemma, something not entirely unexpected but definitely game changing. There were ways to deal with it, of course. It was all a matter of finding a balance. Hopefully, we would be able to straighten things out before everything got out of hand.

[interesting]

Sometimes I hate myself.

It doesn't usually last long though. I'm a pretty laid back person and my self-destruction rarely leads to more than just a kindly reminder that I should be more careful with what I do. Not a few days ago, I had an intimate encounter with Sarah and Jim, when I caught them about to have sex on Sarah's bed in the middle of the afternoon. The day turned out all right, and I ended up getting a lot more than I had initially hoped for. I don't think Sarah's too mad at me - I don't think she could stay mad very long at any rate. And Jim certainly seemed to enjoy the show I was giving them. He was staring at my crotch the whole time he was mounting Sarah from behind. I came twice that day, one under his rough touch, and the other while they were having sex, as I played with myself using my favorite toy.

In this instance, I do feel a part of responsibility. Sarah and Jim have been going out for four weeks now. Their relationship is as steady as any I have ever seen Sarah get into. They have a lot of sex, oh, they try to keep it discreet but I can hear them. Sometimes, I listen to them from the other room; once, I even gently opened the door and watched them do it, while playing with myself a little, not enough to draw attention. I love Jim's dick. It's not too long, just large enough for my tastes. I wonder sometimes how it would feel to have inside me. That's not something I think either of them would agree anytime soon, but I always keep all my options open.

Jim has not slept once at our place since we played the game. I think it intimidated him. Maybe it went too fast for his tastes. Maybe he just needs time to digest it. Sarah says he's got a lot of work at school too.

We never got around to the last part of the dare. After he and Sarah had sex, they went into the bathroom while I rested on my bed. When they came back, they got dressed and headed out. With all the excitement, we had all forgotten about the picture taking. It will come another time, hopefully.

I myself have been extremely busy this week. I've had two other contracts, one with my regular photographer, the other with an out-of-towner friend of his. Whenever I don't have contracts, I work at the homeless shelter. When I do, well, money has to take priority. The first shoot went well. I posed naked on a lounge chair in the middle of an antiquated living room. Sometimes, I can't believe people pay to see me naked. I'd do it for free - but don't tell anyone that. I just love showing myself off. I mean, I'm beautiful by many standards, and all my friends say I'm highly erotic. Before she started her fascination with Jim, Sarah could not keep her hands off me, even if we were no longer an item. I'm glad she's happy with Jim, but sometimes I feel a greater distance between me and her. We used to massage each other on an almost daily basis. I'd lie naked on the bed, she'd sit on top of me and massage my front and back and I'd return the favor. Sometimes, it led to something more; most often, it was just a nice attention. She hasn't given me any massage in over a month. I think I miss her skin the most.

I knew this would happen. I warned myself as we were doing our hunt. Now, my fears have come to pass.

I get to my second photoshoot of the week with these thoughts rattling about my head. Peter is there to greet me. We hug and kiss on the cheeks, then he presents me to Olaf, his friend from Europe. I feel Olaf's stare undressing me and I'm somewhat taken aback. He'll get his chance eventually, since I'm posing nude for him, so what's his rush?

"Truly exquisite, he says.
"Thank you."

We enter the house. I take Peter aside.

"He's... special, isn't he?
"Oh yes! Very demanding. He'll pay you three times the normal amount if you impress him."

More money is always good, but I'm curious as to what Peter means by 'impressing' him. Guess I'll find out.

We move about Peter's house and head into the den. When I get there, I notice that Olaf has already set up his equipment and scenery. The stairs leading to the upper story are covered with a furry rug, the sofas have been moved around so they're nearer to the fire place and the blinds have been closed in certain areas and opened in another to use the ambient lighting to its best effect. I notice that Olaf has set up a video camera. I look at Peter but he says nothing. Instead, Olaf takes my hand and drags me to the sofa, where he sits behind.

"Ah... Sasha... dear Sasha."

His accent is funny and almost makes me giggle.

"You are truly a flower in the desert... the brightest petal..."

Is he trying to charm me?

"So, I ask, what's going on? How do we proceed?
"Very good, very good, professional, I like. Good, yes. Now, important thing is, sultry, sexy, erotic."

The emphasis on the 'r' in erotic makes me smile.

"You are lovely young lady, very erotic, very sexy, and I want to feel the sexy."

He feels like a character out of Saturday Night Live. I look to Peter. I don't want him to go. This Olaf person is actually sort of creeping me out.

"What about the camera?
"Ah, yes, camera. That is good. That is for the extra money, if you want. We do both photo and video. I do the video, Peter do the photo. If you want? Pays more.
"Sure, why not? Cash up front?
"Of course, lovely Sasha.
"By the way, my real name is...
"No... no... your name is Sasha and that is all for the now."

I don't insist.

"What do I do now?
"Go change. There's a robe, bathroom. Peter show you. And touch yourself.
"Excuse me?
"Touch yourself. Make your body horny, make your skin glisten."

As I get up to go change, Peter follows me. We get a chance to talk.

"Ah! He's that type.
"Yeah... but he does good work, and pays very well."

I've known Peter for about a year now. I answered an ad he had put in the paper. He was seeking models. I was seventeen when I met him. I waited until I was eighteen before posing nude; before that, I did lingerie and swimsuits. I wouldn't have minded but Peter, the consumate professional, was adamant that everything be legal. He'd heard too many stories of underage girls suing their photographers. I respect his integrity. He's a decent man who happens to like shooting pictures of naked girls. I can understand that!

"We're talking triple if I do the video?
"Yeah... maybe more if you agree to do more.
"Peter?
"Don't worry. Nothing involving anyone else."

I get to the bathroom and Peter returns to Olaf.

The bathroom is actually a changing room. Peter finds it more convenient that way. I strip down and sit on the bowl. I don't usually wear underwear or a bra when I have shoots, since I have to take them off anyway. Peter provides all the clothing I need. I go about my business, then look about at the equipment Olaf has provided me. A necklace that falls directly between my breasts. Bracelets of metal for wrists and ankles. I put everything on. A chain belt.

I stare at myself in the mirror and start applying some makeup. It takes me several minutes to get the sultry look I usually seek. I know they'll be photoshopping my pictures to remove any blemishes and imperfections. That makes me sad, somewhat. I like my imperfections. I think they are unique. Apparently, the pictures will sell better if I look like I come from a paradise world.

Once I'm fully in costume, I spread my legs, lifting one on the counter, and I start rubbing my clit and pussy lips. It's not for actual stimulation, even though it's enjoyable. It's for visual effect. When you rub it, it stands out more. Olaf is probably going to be doing a lot of close-ups. I even lube it up a bit, so it glistens.

Once I'm satisfied with the redness, I retrieve the bathrobe, put it on and return to the living room.

When I get there, I'm a little taken aback by the fact that Olaf has taken off his shirt and is therefore topless. He's not that good-looking, in his forties, with random hair protruding from his skin. I'm supposed to get turned on by that? If he thinks he's getting anywhere near me without a camera in-between he's sorely mistaken. That's one problem you can face when you do this kind of work. Just because you get naked, some photographers assume you're easy. I personally have never had this problem with Peter, and am not hoping to have it with this new guy.

"Okay, Sasha. Great body. Can I see pussy?"

I open the bathrobe, spread a little so he gets to see the result. He seems satisfied and returns to his camera. I see a bulge in his pants. This is not going to be my finest hour. I'm doing this for the extra money.

"Okay Sasha, sit on sofa, legs crossed now."

I sit down. At first, camera in hand, Olaf directs my every move. Lift head, tilt shoulders back, raise arm, raise leg, on all fours, kiss the camera, hand on breast, expose left breast, flick nipple, expose right breast, look at pussy, touch pussy, shy away, back to me, lift robe, close up, open and reveal it. We stop after roughly ten minutes. He must have taken fifty close-ups of my pussy. At least I know what type of crowd he plays to.

"Perfect girl, perfect. Okay, lose bathrobe now, go to stairs."

I strip and follow his instructions. He hands the camera to Peter and goes to the video camera.

"Okay, Sasha, make love to camera..."

This time, he's going to let me move. I think I prefer it this way. It feels more intuitive. I start prancing about the stairs, using my legs to their best advantage. Every time my movements cover my pussy, he asks me to move my legs so it's revealed again. I let the cameras get in close. I'm mindful for his dirty hands, but for now at least, he's the consumate professional. We shoot for another ten minutes, then he applauds.

"Wonderful Sasha, so erotic and sexy, makes me want to touch myself."

That'S not an image I wanted to hear. Peter is usually silent during the shoots. He knows comments like that can break the mood. Olaf does not have his sensibilities.

The guest photographer pulls out a crystal dildo from his bag. I take a deep breath. I've never actually done porn. I've done a lot of faking stimulation on camera, with girls. I've never actually played with myself in front of the camera. But the pay is very good. I feel slutty, even by my standards. If we only did photos, I could slide it in, they take the picture and I pull it out. If we do video, it's harder to fake.

I hesitate for a moment when he hands me the instrument but then I take it. I wipe it off with the bathrobe. Peter has the decency to bring some lubricant, and I thank him for it. Olaf motions me to the side of the open window. I'm going to be looking outside as I do this, I think. Olaf picks up the video camera as Peter retrieves the other one. I take another deep breath.

I start teasing myself in front of the camera, sliding the lubricated crystal surface against my lips, taking my time to make myself wet again. I slowly glide it into my pussy, and start moving it up and down. The sensation is not without its benefits, provided I keep my mind off the photographer. My mind wanders as the toy stimulates my senses. I imagine things... I imagine Peter's dick, even if our professional relationship would never allow it... I imagine Thomas' hard shaft, I've sucked it so many times I deserve to have it fill me... I imagine Barry's member, entering me as Bonnie masturbates from a distance... I imagine Jim, riding me, while Sarah looks on, distraught, trapped in a cage, unable to escape and prevent it from happening... I'm cupping my breasts and losing myself in the moment. Only Olaf's voice prevents me from cumming.

"Great girl, great wonderful."

His shrill voice cuts off my stimulation and I shudder at the thoughts I was just having. For a moment, I leave the device in me, waiting for Olaf's next move.

"Continue on stairs."

I move to the stairs, without pulling it out. I get on all fours, exposing my ass and pussy to them, and I start pounding again. The image of Jim taking me from behind is overwhelming and I'm swamped with desire for his dick... I imagine Sarah's pussy, just in reach of my tongue, and I start eating out of thin air.

"Put in the ass."

This is going way too far too fast, but I don't care. The lubricant and my own personal wetness allow me to slide the crystal dildo into my ass, gently at first. I'm not entirely comfortable with the feeling, though it's not without its niceties. With the other hand, I play with my pussy. My orgasm explodes and I squirt into the camera.

I collapse on the stairs, bewildered at what I have just done. I pull the dildo out.

"Put in mouth, now."

No. Given that it's just been in my ass, no. I just lie there. I have to draw a line somewhere, or else he'll have me fucking him too.

Peter notices my reaction and takes Olaf aside. They talk for a few minutes, then Olaf leaves the room, visibly frustrated. I have managed to regain my composure.

"He's upset?
"Yeah... he's gone in the other room to wank off.
"Is he for real?
"Yes he is."

I stare at Peter. I want to kiss him. I want to suck him off. I want to feel his dick inside me.

"Jennifer..."

His scolding tone cools down my fever. Our arrangement is very clear. No sex. Otherwise, there might be some legal confusion.

"Who's Jim?
"Did I say his name out loud?
"Yes..."

I'm appalled. I actually said Jim's name during my fantasy? The trauma hits me like a brick.

"Who's Jim?
"He's... some guy I know.
"Well, you know what it means when you say someone's name during an orgasm."

I do know what it means. What it's supposed to mean. But it can't mean what I think it means. I am in so much trouble now if it means what it's supposed to mean.

[interesting]

Sometimes, I wish I weren't a homosexual.

Don't get me wrong. I'm very happy being the way I am. It took me some time to accept my way of life, all my teenage years in fact. I was always closeted back then about my sexuality. Now, I'm out, as far as the people who are important to me are concerned.

It's just difficult trying to hide your hard-on when you're taking a shower with a bunch of other guys.

I first felt my homosexuality when I was ten. I was changing in the boys' locker room and was staring at the other guys' butts. Someone made a comment about me staring and I sneered back at him. But that night, I dreamt of the locker room full of boys.

It took me three additional years to truly understand what it meant. There was this boy at summer camp, his name was Wilton, he was kind of shy, my age. We spent the summer together as bunk mates. We went kayaking, did fly fishing and nature hikes. One night, he said he felt sad, so I cuddled up in his bed. I got a hard-on, and he felt it, and he asked me if I was turned on. I tried to lie, but he exposed my swollen burgeoning manhood. I let him play with it for a while, then suddenly he went to kiss it. I tried to pull back, but he put it in his mouth and made me come. He said he was into boys and he could tell I was too. We spent the final week each night cuddled in the same bed, sucking each other off in turn.

When I came back to school that year, I tried going out with a few girls. I was still at odds with what had happened. I had sex for the first time with a girl in her room that year. It was all girly, and I remember thinking how it felt comfortable. The room, not the girl. We didn't last. My next girlfriend was a tomboy, and she did not like penetration. Instead, she liked to suck me off all the time. I was pretty lucky then. Eventually, she told me she was more into girls than boys, and that was it.

After that, I steered clear of girls and relationships. I knew of no other boys in my class or even my school who felt like I did. I'd hide my hard-on in the locker room by remaining seated most of the time.

I had my second homosexual experience in my final year at the school. By then, I'd been playing truth or dare with my friends for some time, and had been lucky enough to get sucked by most of my male friends, though nothing clicked in terms of relationships. His name was Jayce, and we met at the park. He was much older than me, twenty-two at that time. We started hanging out at the arcade, then went dancing at bars (I was sixteen but I didn't care about the age limit). One night, he walked me home and kissed me. We kept moving and went to his place. He talked to me about homosexuality, about how he'd known I was mostly into boys. We talked a lot that night, about how he felt about me, how I felt about him. He explained most of the mechanics to me in a funny way. Then, we tried them out. One at a time. I was finally at ease. We spent the next several weeknights at his place, experimenting with each other. I've never had as much sex as I did with him. He took his time, and for that, I'll be forever grateful.

I still don't know why we never got together formally. After several weeks, he said he liked me, but not enough to enter into a relationship. I was crushed, of course, but he encouraged me to be open about my sexuality. That's when I officially told my friends. They were as supportive as I thought they'd be. It took me a while to tell my parents, and when my father learned about it, he expelled me from the house. It took three months for us to make peace and he allowed me to move back in. He's still not content with my choice, but he's learned he can't change it. He's placed all his hopes for the future in my twin sister, Mary.

A word on her. She's living in Denver now, married, has a kid. Frankly, I don't understand her anymore. She's the first person who ever knew of my orientation, before I was sure myself. She was so open when she was younger. The games we played were, well, explicit, if not downright disturbing, looking back on them. She was into partying and a lot of uninhibited over the top sex. Right after she finished high school, she met some guy out at a party, they moved to Denver and had a kid. I still don't understand how it happened. I see her twice a year: Christmas and my parent's wedding anniversary.

I've always been into sports, but I've been more into boxing. I love the feeling of power it grants me, the relationship I entertain with my fellow fighter, the grudging respect, the bravado. I train at a private gym, and have done so since I quit high school. I'm a regular, everyone knows me, except they don't know my secret. Most fighters would not accept to fight me if they knew me I was a homosexual. It's the sad truth that my secret has to remain hidden.

But when I hit the showers, with a bunch of athletic men around me, their muscles bulging, flexing as they caress their bodies with the soap, I can't help but be turned on. Usually, I focus on myself. One thing we've done once in a while is wank off together while showering. That I enjoy. To them, it's a silly game without consequence. To me, it's as close as I'm ever going to get to having sex with any of them.

And then, there's Jimmy. He's the only who knows, and he doesn't care. He thinks most of the others wouldn't mind either, but it's my decision so he stays mute.

Jimmy is here in the shower. He's much smaller than me, but his fists are some of the deadliest weapons I've seen in a long time. His punches just keep coming, fast and unblockable. He's welterweight; I'm light heavyweight. We don't usually brawl together except for practice.

I'm leaning in against the wall so that my hard-on is less obvious. If anyone notices, they say nothing. Eventually, the shower empties. It's very late in fact, the gym is closed, but regulars sometimes stay afterwards. Eventually, there's only Jimmy and me left in the shower. Jimmy chipped a tooth during his last match, and he's caring for it right now.

"Damn right hook."

I move over to him. He opens his mouth. I check the chip. It's not that big a chunk missing.

"You'll be fine, you sissy.
"You're the sissy, Tommy."

I try to laugh. It still hurts sometimes when I get called names. Jimmy notices.

"Sorry... don't mean to offend ya.
"S'all right.
"Hey man, cheer up."

I try to smile, but I still feel like an outsider with these people. Jimmy stares at me funny.

"Ya know what ya need?
"What?
"A good jack-off."

He laughs. He's actually right. I haven't been with anyone in several months; well, if you don't count that encounter with Sarah at the end of December.

"M'gonna make your day, Tommy.
"How's that?"

He spins me around. I'm too surprised to resist. He reaches around and grabs my dick. I freeze.

"Jimmy.
"What? Don't want me to wank ya off?
"I do... it's just... I still owe you for the park thing.
"Nah... water under th'bridge. Too tense, man. Enjoy it."

In all the years I've known Jimmy, he has never done anything like this. I go with it, of course. He leans in against me and I feel his own dick press against my lower buttocks. He starts wanking me and I feel myself tremble. He's rubbing himself against me. I'm half expecting to wake from this daydream but it doesn't end.

He's actually doing a great job of stimulation and I'm wondering if he's had experience. Then again, he's probably had experience on himself. Just as I'm about to come, he stops.

"Why'd you do that?"

For a moment, I feel like he's playing a trick on me. He keeps my shaft in his hand, then starts pumping again.

"Heard a guy say, if ya stop before ya come, ts'even better!"

And he starts pulling again. I close my eyes and let Jimmy pump me good. I hold back any moans, in case someone is still left in the locker room, even though chances of that are slim. Just as I'm about to come again, he stops. How does he know?

I pull away from him.

"Dammit Jimmy, stop playin' with me like that.
"Ya don't like it.
"I do. That's the thing. Either do it or don't."

I stare at him and his crotch. He's a hard as me. Is this turning him on too? As far as I know, Jimmy's not into boys at all. So what's the deal?

"Tell ya what, Tommy. Suck me off and I'll finish jackin' ya.
"No."

It takes all my willpower to resist. I want to suck him so hard, I want to taste him in my mouth. But I can't let this go on, not without an explanation.

"Jimmy, tell it to me straight.
"Straight... funny.
"Jimmy!"

My expression breaks his laughing mood.

"Look, ya don't want it, fine."

He goes to leave.

"Wait. Jimmy, just tell me why you're doin' this?"

He pauses.

"'Cause man, ya're my best, and I see ya, pinin' away, starin' at them dicks, and I say, man, he needs some bad. Now, me, I'm cool with lotsa stuff. I'm not sayin' I want a steady thing, here. I'm just sayin', wanna have fun, I can give ya some fun. I might enjoy it too."

I look at Jimmy and smile. He cares for me so deeply. He hasn't had the same education as I have. He's grown up on the streets, absent father, drunk mother, no family to speak of. All he has is attitude, and he has a lot of it. I'm probably the closest thing he has to a family.

"But if ya don't want ta..."

I jump on him, put his dick into my mouth and start sucking. His mouth opens wide.

"Oh yeah... Tommy... wooh!"

I hold back my laugh so as not to gag on his member. It was going limp but my stimulation is bringing it back to full bloom. Jimmy's long but not too large. I'd like to feel it inside my ass, but I'm not going to push my luck here. I've wanted to do this to him for so long, I'm going to enjoy teasing him and denying him, same as he did me.

"Tommy... you good at this..."

He leans a hand against the wall.

"Now don't go touchin' yours... that's mine to do."

His words are turning me on more and more. I lick, I suck, I swallow, I play with his sack, I make it worth my while, and his.

"Damn man, that's some serious suckage."

He has no idea what he's talking about, and this just makes the encounter more pleasurable to me. I sense him ready to come, so I hold back. He places one hand behind my head and pushes me back onto him.

"Oh no you don't... suck my dick, man."

I go at it full force. He's going to shoot into my mouth. I let him. It's not that I like the taste, it's that I want to feel him come inside me. As he empties his load, I keep sucking, making sure to make him as dry as possible. He's jerking about, having a hard time not to lose his footing. When I finally pull away, I've swallowed most of it but spit out the rest.

"Damn... that was hot! Ya been keepin' secrets from me, man. Ain't no girl ever sucked me that good.
"Well, takes a guy to know a guy."

He smiles and laughs. I was so afraid he might cringe back, deny the event, as many often do. But he just smiles, content and very pleased.

"My turn," I say.

I stand up and start to turn around.

"Nah man."

He kneels before me and places his face at my crotch level. His hand is on my sack.

"Now, I don't mind suckin' on it some, but I want ya ta hold it in 'til I pull out. Got it?
"Got it."

At first, he plays with it with his hand, pulling on the skin, staring at it.

"Is this the first time you've ever done it.
"Yeap. But I seen people do it. Seen a few girls, in fact."

I smile. He's gently caressing me. He wraps his lips around it. It takes a while for him to get accustomed to the sensation. Eventually, he's doing it, clumsily at first, but still doing it. With the level of stimulation I've been under so far, it does not take long for me to reach my peak.

"Jimmy... pull out, now."

He does. My timing is a little off in his favor. A few seconds have time to elapse before I shoot my own load at the wall behind him.

"Damn... tastes kinda funny... not real good."

I have to agree with him. It's not the taste I like. It's the sensation.

"Jimmy, you're the best.
"Nah man, ya are. But don't go all wimpy on me, now.
"Promise."

He stands up and rinses his mouth. I do the same. For a while, I keep staring at Jimmy, at his form. For him to be willing to do this for me, he must care about me a lot. A lot more maybe than he lets on.

God! I hope I'm not building myself up just to fall back down again.

[interesting]

I got out of the hospital just before Christmas. My car was a total wreck. I went back to my parents' place in L.A. for the holiday season and didn't have the opportunity to get meet my friends at their holiday party. I'm told they had lots of fun.

In a way, it's better that I wasn't there. I would probably have ruined it for Sarah. She's with her new guy now, whatshisname. From what Tom's told me, she's riding high. Good for her.

I can't say I'm not pissed about it, though. Fact is, Sarah's my girl, and always will be my first, real love. But I have to move on. I have to clean myself up. I'm not good to anyone lying in chalk circle on the pavement, least of all me. Gotta pick me up and get me back in action.

I tried calling Brigitte - that's my ex, second - right after the holidays but all I got was an answering machine. We haven't seen each other since the summer. With my luck, she's already with someone new. Maybe I shouldn't call her... wait, that's the old me talking. New me doesn't get beaten up about it whenever there's a slight glitch on the road.

The cast came off last week. I haven't touched anything (booze or otherwise) since my accident. Then again, I haven't had the opportunity. I wanted to, but when I got home and saw my drunken father, my absent-minded mother, the rest of my sorry family, I realized I was playing to the pattern. It dawned on me that, in this family, when things don't go our way, we lose ourselves in cheap thrills and inexpensive booze. And things rarely go our way.

I finally manage to hit up Brigitte. I get her on the phone and we talk. I start by apologizing to her. The way I left her, over last summer, a bit shallow. We were at a party, I was driving back with her and we got into a car accident, nothing major that time. As the rescue vehicles arrived on the scene, I dumped her. I wasn't drunk enough at the time, so I actually remember the incident. It was pretty stupid of me. Brigitte actually cared for my well-being. Lo and behold, she accepts my apology. So I ask her if she's seeing anyone. She says no. I ask her if she'll give me a chance again. That's when she surprises me.

"I may, Brad, but you did break my heart.
"Sorry, again.
"I don't want you to be sorry. I want you to be contrite. Look, I like you a lot, I really do, but I need to know you're willing to commit here. I won't have a repeat of what happened last time.
"Swear to God it won't.
"Don't swear. If you want to prove yourself to me, you're going to have to prove you're not afraid of demeaning yourself somewhat."

At that moment, I have no idea what she has planned. But I really want her back; I can feel she is genuine, so I decide to play along.

"What do you want me to do then?"

We set a date at the mall for the following day. I meet her at the entrance. I walk up and try to kiss her but she holds me at bay.

"You're going to have to earn my trust before I kiss you... or do anything else for that matter."

I nod and promise I'll comply. She's good-looking, smells awesome. She's chosen to wear a red blouse, a black mini-skirt and heels. That's the one thing that Sarah's missing. She doesn't wear heels. Me, I'm crazy for them. Brigitte knows. We enter the mall and head to the food court. I order us lunch and pay for it. We sit down.

"Brigitte, I do want to apologize for...
"Yeah yeah... less talk, more show.
"What would have me do, then?
"You'll see."

We finish eating and then move about the mall. Our first stop is a female lingerie shop. The clerk walks over to Brigitte. Apparently, they know each other. I stay away so as not to hear their conversation. The girl motions us to a stall.

"You're going to model for me, Brad.
"What?
"Get in the booth, get undressed.
"Uh-huh.
"I'm going to toss you lingerie under the door. I want you to put it on, open the door and pose for me, for every ensemble piece I throw in. Got it?"

I've done games with my friends like this before. I've just never done it in such a public venue. I try to read into Brigitte's actions, to see if I'm being led on, if there's actually a chance of us getting back together. I want to believe there is.

I step into the booth and strip. She tosses a white lacy bra with the matching panties. My junk is sticking out as I slide it on. It's not very erotic for my tastes, but somewhat funny. I gather my courage and open the door. Brigitte is staring at me, but I see her clerk friend is also there.

"What do you think, Monique?
"Nice package... I'd get it for him I were you!"

They laugh. I shut the door and remove the white lace. Next up is a red corset. I have a hard time sliding it on, and I can't really lace it up. I do the best I can. Apparently, there's no matching panty this time. I take a deep breath before opening the room.

Great! Now there's another woman looking on. She looks old enough to be my mother. Brigitte and Monique are looking at her.

"what do you think, Susan?
"Oh! He's definitely a keeper that one."

Once my performance is done, I shut the door and struggle with the corset. I manage to get it off, just in time to reveal the tiniest piece of clothing I have ever seen. Black thong, and the bra is nothing more than rope tied unto itself. I get to imagining Brigitte in it, and suddenly realize I'm getting a hard-on. Well, why not? I pull on it a little, to make sure it's nice and stiff before opening the door.

Now I get a more serious reaction... coupled with a lot of laughter. The three girls, Brigitte and the two store clerks, are staring at my crotch.

"Can I have some for later?" asks Monique.
"Why don't you have some now?" answers Brigitte, much to my surprise.
"Save some for me, says the older clerk."

I look at Brigitte, unsure of what to expect. The girl called Monique walks up into the booth and grabs my dick in her hand. I stare at Brigitte but she does nothing. Monique bites my neck, leaving me a good hickey. She gets down on her knees and licks me once, before stuffing me into her mouth. I feel her teeth grinding against my dick. It's not disagreeable, just somewhat irritating. She pulls away and the older woman, Susan, moves forward. She also grabs my dick, yanking on it with force. It almost hurts. I hold back any noise. She kisses my nipple, then bites it hard. She slams a hand on my butt cheek before pulling away. Brigitte seems content that I let myself go.

"You can get dressed now... but leave the panties and bra on under your clothes."

They are extremely uncomfortable but I decide not to argue. Brigitte is finding some twisted pleasure in torturing me, and frankly, I don't really mind. I suppose I have some of it coming.

We leave the store and head towards the bathroom. Brigitte enters the lady's room, then comes to get me and I walk in. The place is empty for now.

"Get in the stall and strip to your bra and panties."

I oblige. She has a large handbag which she hangs on a hook on the inside of a door; we put my clothes in it. She pulls off her miniskirt and I notice she's not wearing panties.

"Here's the deal, Brad. If you want to gain my trust again, you're going to have to worship me.
"Worship? How?
"Very simple. I'm going to give you instructions in your daily life. You're going to follow them to the letter.
"I can do that.
"I know you can. We used to play that game when we were together. Only this time, the rules are different."

She leans in and kisses me. I feel tension going away.

"You earned it. Now, you need to earn your next prize."

She's still showing off her pussy to me. We're sitting in the handicap stool so it's not too cramped. She removes her shoes and socks on her left leg.

"You are going to worship my leg and foot. I want you to start licking. Toes first, then the top of my foot, my ankle, going up. If you manage to get to the top, you get your prize... you get to eat me. But you must proceed at the pace I give you. Massaging my leg all the way up as you're licking it."

I'm a little hesitant and she understands.

"I washed my feet this morning, so you should be all right."

She raises her foot to my face. Brigitte is very flexible. I start kissing her toes, putting them into my mouth, sucking on them, licking all around. I stare at her inviting pussy. She probably won't let me fuck her today but just to feel her taste again. I'm shivering in my bra and panties. I move to the top of her foot while massaging her sole. I know she won't ask me to lick the sole under these conditions. I look at her face, she smiles accordingly. Despite my anticipation, I try to take it slow. I'm up to her ankle now. My tongue is already swollen.

"Lick the outside of my leg first, then go back down."

I comply. It's hard not to go for the prize, so near when I get to the top of her leg, but I manage it and go back down. I massage her thighs as I'm doing it. I start licking the inside of her leg, spending some time in the knees, then up her thigh, nearing the enticing smell. I haven't tasted pussy in months now. I manage to hold back until she gives me permission.

"That was great, Brad. You may eat your prize."

I plunge my tongue into it and start licking her off. She tastes so wonderful.

"Slow down, cowboy!"

I pace myself, remembering to exercise control.

"Oh... that's nice."

I want to make it worth her while. I tease her a lot. Once in a while I look up and stare at her face, admire her ecstasy as I pleasure her with my tongue, still holding on firmly to her thigh.

"Whatever you do, keep your head there."

I'm half expecting this to turn into a golden shower. Fortunately for me, it doesn't. I sense that she is about to burst. She pulls me in tight, almost swallowing me from down there. She orgasms and squirts all over my face, as I keep licking and licking. She wants to humiliate me, well then, let her do it. I don't mind. I deserve humiliation. I've been a bad boy. I've done bad things. This is good for me. This is my punishment.

After a long while, she pulls away and stares at me, face covered in her juices, dressed in a black thong and string bra. I must look so silly.

"Mind if I take a picture?"

I'm tempted to say no. But I remember my humiliation. I want it to remain; I want to have a clear memory of it. So I let her do it.

"I'm still not sure I want to take you back, Brad, but this is definitely a good start. I'll tell you what we're going to do. First, we're gonna clean you up. Then, we're going to get out of here. Everyday, I'm going to give you a call and tell you what to wear for underwear that day. I'll ask for proof, even if we don't get to meet.
"I can take a picture with my mirror.
"Good. Also, I don't want you to masturbate."

That one hits hard. I was hoping to jerk off after such an activity. Brigitte understands.

"Until I allow you to.
"All right.
"Finally, and this is more important. When I call you, at any time, wherever you are, you will write my name somewhere on your body with a permanent marker. I'll be keeping count of the calls I make and I'll be checking. You can also get someone to write my name for you, on your back for instance. Understood."

I nod in agreement. She smiles.

"Good. Now that this is settled, I don't want to be too mean. You can masturbate now, if you can do it without using your hands."

Now that's a challenge if I ever heard one.

"Can I use you?
"Sure."

I motion her to come over and she does. She kneels in front of me. I motion to her blouse and she takes it off. I start rubbing myself against her naked skin, specifically against her breasts. She keeps wobbling back and forth. I move her back to the side wall and start grinding her there. It works better because she stops wobbling. I'm hot and heavy when she pushes me back.

"Don't come on me, silly.
"Sorry.
"That was a good effort but you took too long. Maybe next time."

I manage to keep my cool despite my frustration. It's going to be hard to live up to her expectations, but I know I have to do it. She's taking the hard line with me, and I don't want to disappoint. Not again. I've failed too many times already.

This is the one. This is the one where I succeed.

[interesting]

Several days ago, something happened that changed everything in my life. A small, relatively insignificant word has transformed my perceptions of my world and warped my sense of identity.

One word, one name, changed me from a sexually secure woman to an unstable and nervous wreck.

At first, I tried to avoid thinking about it. It had to have been a fluke. In the heat of passion, you sometimes say or do things that you don't necessarily mean. It was easy to dismiss this as nothing more than a passing fancy.

As time wore on and the days slipped by, I noticed some discreet changes in my attitude. The first one was when I came back from my photo shoot and Sarah asked me how it had gone.

"Fine!"

My answer was too quick for Sarah not to notice its tone of panic.

"Something happened?" she asked.

I stared at her from across the room.

"I... did my first porn shoot.
"What?"

Sarah was stunned, and I had at least for the moment, taken my stress into a different direction, and Sarah's attention had been diverted.

"You got paid to have sex on camera?
"Well... I got paid to masturbate on camera.
"Oh! Wow!"

Sarah is actually shocked at this. I'm somewhat surprised, because I've posed with a dildo in my pussy before. She's seen the pictures. Then again, she knows I'm not really masturbating when I'm doing stills.

"Four times the average."

I try to make this about money, when it really isn't, and I'm pretty sure Sarah does not buy into it.

"How... was it?
"Okay... Sarah, it's not like I've never been on camera fucking... I mean, there was that time with...
"I know, but that was different. That was just us, I mean our friends. There was no money involved.
"And that makes it wrong?
"I... don't know. I don't think so."

Somehow, Sarah's reaction is unnerving.

"Look, I did it, I did it, no biggie."

I storm out of the room and head for the bathroom. I don't get to talk to Sarah until later that day, where she apologizes for her lack of support. I try to be a sport about it.

"It's all right; I know where you're coming from.
"It was just you and toys?
"Yeah. It was... interesting. Not sure I'd do it again soon, though."

The conversation remains like that for a few days. The weekend rolls around and Sarah is gone for most of it, spending time with her new lover. Meanwhile, I'm in bed, trying to get some sleep, and all I can imagine is Jim, creeping up onto my bed, underneath the sheets. His lips and tongue play with my pussy, then he climbs back up on top of me and penetrates me.

I play with myself while fantasizing, and the illusion becomes surreal. We're flying through the air, while he's fucking me from every imaginable angle. Then, I'm on a sinking ship, and he dives into the water, saves me, then takes me to a desolate island where we fuck all the time. I'm kidnapped by villains, who hold me at ransom; he comes in and rescues me, and we fuck like crazy on the way home; or he's the kidnapper, and he ties me up and takes me by force, and I enjoy it. The dreams intermingle and dilute into one orgasmic orgy of sex in my mind. Sometimes Sarah is there, sometimes, I'm alone with Jim.

That Monday, Sarah enters the room late in the morning. I'm still in bed, though not sleeping, naked under the covers. I imagine Sarah is coming back from his home, where they probably have just had sex. I could probably still smell him on her.

I get up and stretch. Sarah is stripping down to nothing.

"Hi!"

I call out. She turns to me and smiles.

"Hi pretty!"

She smiles back. She tosses her clothes into the corner, near the clothes pan.

"I'm going to take a shower, she says.
"Mind if I join you?"

She looks at me funny. We used to take a lot of showers together before she started seeing Jim. We haven't done it in several weeks. I wonder if she is hesitant but she finally speaks.

"Not at all."

She absentmindedly forgets to put her robe on and heads out to the bathroom. I feel dirty from the images in my mind and the pleasure I gave myself last night. I do need a shower. I join her in the bathroom. The water is already running and she's ready to step inside.

"How was your weekend?
"It was nice.
"What did you do?
"Well, Jim took me dancing Saturday Night, and we got pretty drunk. We made out in the bar. We were too wasted to do anything about it until the next morning, though.
"That gone?
"Yeah."

I remember once, a year and a half ago, Sarah and I had gotten so drunk we'd had sex five times during that same night. My most memorable night ever, possibly.

We step under the water. It's lukewarm, just the right temperature, just how we both like it. Sarah keeps talking, but all I can do is stare at her crotch and imagine Jim's taste still permeating it.

"And then, Sunday, we went for a walk, got some ice cream and he paid for dinner. We rented a movie for the night... well two, but we only watched one.
"Come on, Sarah, I'm living by proxy now. Details?"

Sarah, who was starting to lather herself, stops and looks at me.

"Well, if you must know... during the movie, I started rubbing him with my hand.
"Go on?
"So naturally, it came to attention. Jim looked at me, asking what I was doing. I unzipped his pants and popped it out through the opening.
"He doesn't wear underwear?
"He didn't that day. I started playing with it, rubbing it up and down. I asked if he wanted to do something to me.
"And?
"He said yes. I pulled off my panties; I was wearing a short black skirt...
"I know the one...
"And he reached in, played with me for a while. We decided to pause the movie.
"What happened next?"

As Sarah keeps talking, my hand slides towards my crotch. It's a half conscious gesture. I just decide not to stop it.

"Well, he removed my top, and started kneading and kissing my breasts, while still playing with me. I got him to sit high on the sofa and started sucking him off for a while. Then we swapped positions and he began eating me... Jenn, are you masturbating?"

I realize I've been teasing myself ever since she started her description. I stop what I'm doing for a moment.

"I guess I am. Does it bother you?
"No... not really."

We've been so intimate with each other this almost feels natural now. Her mind is elsewhere, in her stories, she's barely paying attention to me. Does she realize how much she is turning me on?

"So he's eating me out, and I ask him to fuck me. Now, he steadies himself, I turn around and raise my ass, and he slides it into my pussy, nice and slow, and starts pumping. We're trying to remain standing, held up on his sofa, and he's really doing a good job of it..."

Sarah stops her story for a moment.

"Now I'm getting turned on again..."

Her words take me over, as if she is inviting me into her intimacy. I try to simply smile at her, and then a sudden impulse overtakes me. I lean in and kiss her passionately. At first, she is stunned and resists, but she quickly lets her guard down and returns my kisses. As our lips remain locked, I glide one hand down her to her stomach. She pulls away, fully aware of the progress my hand is making.

"Jenn, what are we doing?"

I kiss her back, not letting her utter another word. She is not really fighting it. My hand reaches her sex, already wet from her stimulation as much as the water. I start playing with it.

She pulls away again, and I'm frustrated. I want to force myself onto her, but I care for her too much to hurt her in any way. I pull my hands away from her and simply go back to kissing. She wraps her arms around me and I wrap my arms around her. We kiss for a long moment before she finally pulls away.

"Dammit Sarah... I..."

I'm trying to find words to express how I feel, and since I don't really know myself, the words can't come out. I just stare into her eyes. Her lips lock with mine again for a brief moment.

"Jenn, I understand."

Her words soothe my aching heart, if not my body.

"I've been distant lately, been spending a lot of time with Jim and neglecting our friendship. I'd like to let you do it... I really would."

I kiss her back, kneading her breasts as she speaks. I sense she is resisting me and it infuriates me to no extent. There was a time when she would have been the first one to propose. Again, she pulls me away.

"I want to taste you..."

My words slip by without my consent. Sarah smiles at me.

"Okay... okay... you can taste me here and now. But Jenn..."

I start kneeling in front of her but she holds me back for a moment.

"Jenn, listen to me. This is here, and now, this is you and me, and no one else. Things like this... shouldn't happen... even if we want them to."

I nod in agreement. I don't know how far she'll let me go. I know I'll have to stop when she tells me to. I'll do my best. I'll keep some control over myself. I can do this.

I kneel before her and kiss her pussy lips. She softly moans. I know the only reason she is holding back is because of Jim. I want to curse him, but at the same time, I want to taste him on her. I gently use my tongue to part her lips. She is looking up, away from me. Is she imagining Jim down there? Is that how she justifies letting me do this?

I play with her with my tongue and she is letting me have my way with her. I try to plunge my tongue into her cavity. For a moment, I think she is going to resist, but then she lets me slide it into her. The moan gets louder. I hear panting on her end. She's not telling me to stop. I don't think she's focused on the here and now anymore. Sarah often does that. She lets her mind wander and then she loses perspective of what's actually going on.

I start to knead her breasts as I eat her out. I know her sex intimately. I can tell how far she is along and I want to take her all the way. She shivers from my touch and the water.

Eventually, before she reaches her climax, she regains enough of her senses to pull herself away from me. It takes me a great effort not to pursue, to let her go, to release her. This has probably already gone farther than she had imagined.

I sit down at the edge of the bath, afraid of her reaction. She smiles, so I know I'm all right with her.

"Maybe I should get out of the shower now.
"Maybe you should."

I know she does not really want me to get out, but I think it's safer this way for the moment. I know Sarah. Everything here, everything between us will remain between us. I trust her and she trusts me.

Maybe we shouldn't take showers together anymore.

[interesting]

Everybody makes mistakes. It's normal. I, on the other hand, am perfecting the art. I'm compounding mistakes, stacking them on top of each other, seeing how far up the pile will stack before it collapses under its own weight.

I know I should stop. I know I should get a grip on myself, but I simply can't. It's like my body and mind are not on speaking terms anymore, and so the heart does whatever it wants without foresight.

To be honest, I'm not the only one at fault here. There's plenty of blame to go around, I think. Sarah, Jim, they have their faults too. I don't exactly know how to deal with them, and apparently, they don't know how to deal with me either. It's bad enough to have fantasies over my ex-girlfriend or her new boyfriend without acting upon them. But every time I try to hold back, something pushes me to new lengths and I put my entire life in question.

The worst part is, I think I can go on like this. Does that make me a bad person? I am trying to live with Sarah's new relationship but there is just so much a girl can endure.

It's the morning, and I am just getting up. I'm sitting naked at the computer, checking my email. My photographer, Peter, has just sent the stills from my photo shoot and video the other day. I must admit I'm not as fancy into pussy shots as some people, but I do get some satisfaction in seeing my sexual organs displayed on the screen. In walk Jim and Sarah. Jim is in a bathrobe while Sarah is already dressed.

"So you can let yourself out, then?
"Sure, no problem."

They kiss swiftly. Sarah waves bye to me and hurries away, late for class. This happens almost every Thursday morning since the start of the semester. Jim comes over the previous evening, I get somewhat ejected out of the room, and the next morning I wake up with the both of them, naked in Sarah's bed. It's a tad infuriating.

Jim walks over to me and looks at the screen.

"Is that you?"

A reasonable reaction would be to simply say yes and move on to other things, possibly close the pictures. Nowadays, I'm anything but reasonable.

"Yes, it is, Jim. Do you like?
"I do."

I click on the mouse pad, cycling through the pictures. He's staring at the screen, but my eyes are rolling to the bulge forming in his bathrobe. I want to suck it so bad it hurts inside. I try to calm myself and look away.

"Are you actually...?
"Yeah. I was. It was intense."

I hear his name echoing in my head. My instincts are conflicted. On the one hand, I want him to keep asking questions. On the other, I'm afraid of what might happen. With my current morality, I'm liable to simply jump him. But that would be wrong, that would not be something I could live with. But I need something to tide me over.

"Reminds you of something?"

I try to sound innocent but I sound slutty to my ear. Jim does not seem to notice or care.

"Yeah... when I played with you.
"Did you enjoy that?
"I did, actually. Was very nervous at first. I was surprised Sarah let me do it, to be honest.
"Why?
"Well... because... I was just surprised."

Poor Jim. He barely knows Sarah yet. I know she's holding herself back for his sake. I feel it's somehow my responsibility to help educate Jim into matters of the flesh. Or is that just my libido talking?

"When I was going out with Sarah, we'd play sex with others all the time.
"All the time?
"Okay, not all the time, but every so often. Claire and Cassie, for example. Sometimes, we'd swap partners.
"Really?"

Does he know I'm making some of this up? Or is he simply turned on by the notion of girls going at it? Is he a typical male or is he something different?

"Well, not as often as I make it sound. But it did happen. It's normal to want to open up to other ideas.
"It's not something I'm used to.
"Jim, do you trust me?"

There is a long pause. I'm expecting the other shoe to drop and him to simply walk away. It would be the sensible thing to do. He makes my job too easy. I want to curse at him but I can't.

"It depends, but generally, yeah."

Why must he be so innocent, so nice? Why must I be the corrupting influence?

"I want to try something out, Jim. If you don't mind. A game of sorts. If you want.
"What do you have in mind?
"I wanted to thank you for what you did to me the other day.
"I'm not sure that's a good idea.
"Come on Jim. I'm sure Sarah won't mind."

I don't know that for sure, but I make it sound convincing. Jim looks at me.

"Look, Jenn, you'll have to be a little more specific.
"I just want to give you back some of what you gave me.
"We should probably wait for Sarah to be here for this."

I sense his hesitation and I can't blame him for being cautious. I want him to trust me. I want him to stay here. I have to make my case. Jim is logical, analytical. How can I make him trust me?

"Tell you what, Jim, we'll use a safe word.
"What?
"I'm going to play around you, and if you feel uncomfortable, you say stop and I will. If you say it again, we'll end the game then and there. How does that sound?"

He pauses. I'm giving him control over the game. He'll respond well to that - I hope.

"You'll stop if I say stop?"

I nod, only half sincere, but he does not seem to notice. This rule satisfies his need for control. Right now, I care very little for the consequences. I'm not even sure what game I'm going to play. I just want to have some fun with him. Keep him to myself, even if we don't have sex which we won't, I repeat to myself. That would be too much, even for me. But I do want to see him exposed, I want to feel him vulnerable, at my mercy. And I have ways of ensuring it.

"Take off the bathrobe and lie on my bed."

He hesitates.

"I've seen your hard-on before, don't worry."

He pulls the robe off. I hold back my emotions at seeing his erect member. I'll have to be patient. He lies back on my bed. I pull out a rope. He's hesitant to let me near him.

"Now, I'm not going to rape you, Jim. Trust me."

Am I really being honest here? Can I be trusted with him in such a predicament. My heart and my brain are arguing the matter even as I start tying his hands to the posts of my bed. I work slow to give him time to get acquainted with the feeling.

Jim looks sacred now. I must admit, the idea of jumping on top of him and riding him is very tempting. I'm sure he wouldn't even mind - no, he would mind, eventually.

"Relax now."

I pull away and start dancing around the bed.

"What are you doing?
"Just watch and admire the view. That way, you're not tempted to do anything you might regret later."

Might as well tie me up, with the thoughts racing about in my head. I'm the one liable to regret this course of action. I waltz around the bed, hips swaying, hands across my body. Jim is frantic, his eyes can't keep away. His swollen member pulses to my beat. I pause.

"Are you all right?
"Yeah... just... wondering about all this.
"Jim, last time you touched me, you made me come like no other. I just want to return the favor.
"Yeah, but... Sarah.
"Don't worry... I'm not going to do anything Sarah would object to. You don't need to worry her about this."

Immediately after the words jump out, I regret saying them, because my heart is racing, my mind is playing tricks and I know I can't trust myself. But there is no way to take these words back. I truly have no idea how Sarah will react if she learns of what I'm doing right now. I decide to forego the dance. I climb on top of the bed, with my back towards his face, so I get a good look at his manhood. It's so inviting.

I start rubbing my pussy against his chest. He's barely moving. I wonder if my weight is suffocating him, but I hear no choking. I grab his manhood with one hand and suddenly I hear his voice, faint but powerful.

"Stop!"

No! Not when I'm so close. Not when I have his member in my hand, ready to pump it, ready to make him come, to lock my lips around it. He's not playing fair!

"What's wrong?
"I... think you should stop now, Jenn."

I keep my hand on his member, immobile. I don't turn to face him, leaving him my exposed backside to contemplate.

"Are you sure?"
"No... but I'm feeling insecure here."

Why must you be so faithful, so nice? I remember former boyfriends. They weren't as reserved as him. Were they? Am I being unreasonable?

"Jenn, stop it!"

I realize I'm subconsciously moving my hand up and down on his dick.

"Jim... I want to put you in my mouth. I want to taste you. I'll do it... and if you truly want me to stop, then I'll stop. Okay?"

There is silence. I wonder why he hesitates. I know so many people who would jump at the chance for a blowjob, no consequences, no questions asked. Jim isn't like these other men: perhaps that could be the reason he turns me on?

"Okay... okay, do it."

I lean in slowly.

"But you stop everything and untie me when I say stop, okay?"

He's insistent. I decide I'm not going to push my luck any further. I slide his member into my mouth and close my lips on it. It feels so good inside me; there's another place where I want it but I hold back. I start playing with his tip with my tongue, and then he speaks.

"Stop!"

It's not a safe word. It's an order. Jim is ordering me to stop what I'm doing, to stop playing with him. It hurts deeply, possibly moreso than Sarah's rejection in the shower. It takes me a moment to gather myself, so Jim has time to repeat.

"I said stop... now untie me, please."

I comply. It takes me a while to undo all the bindings. I feel clumsy.

Once his hands are free, I imagine he's going to pop out of my bed and reach for his clothes. But he lies there, pensive, engrossed in his thoughts. He's thinking. That can't be a good sign.

"Jenn... I have to tell Sarah.
"No!"

I immediately place my hands before my mouth. I almost screamed. I gather myself.

"You can't tell her... it could ruin your relationship...
"Or yours?
"Please, Jim... nothing happened.
"I'm as guilty as you are, Jenn, but you're partly right. Nothing much happened, but something did happen, and it could have been more. I have to be honest with Sarah."

He finally gets up.

"It's just a game.
"Is it, Jenn? Is it still just a game?"

His question lingers in the air, for us both to ponder. I don't want him to tell Sarah, but can I really prevent him from doing so? Would Sarah even understand my situation, why I almost jumped her boyfriend? Would she forgive me?

[interesting]

I had been living with a guilty conscience for the last few days, and frankly, I was tired of it. The more I waited, the harder it got to tell Sarah what happened between me and Jennifer. I kept hearing her telling me that nothing happened, that it had been innocent and just a game, and while I wanted to believe it, I could not get it out of my mind.

The same night as that incident, when Sarah came to my home, I tried to hide my discomfort but Sarah immediately sensed something was up. I told her I was feeling queasy and she left it at that, but I'm not entirely sure how convinced she was. The fact that she did not insist actually made it harder for me to spill the beans and be truthful. I had not seen Jennifer since then, and I was clearly and consciously avoiding her. Fortunately, the event did not affect my sex life with Sarah and I could cast it aside during intercourse. But afterwards, when we rested against each other, I was left with an uneasy feeling.

It was now Saturday and we were out partying. I had stopped going out to bars when I started working at the college. There had been many reasons, but the main was I no longer had any incentive to go there. All of my former friends were gone, the bar scene had never offered me any form of prospect for relationship and I did not like to drink enough. Going out with Sarah was taking me back ten years, as if I was eighteen again and experiencing the joys of freedom.

For some reason, that night, I was drinking quite a lot more than I used to. It was only me and Sarah, none of her friends were around for that evening. After dancing for a while, we returned to our corner of the room, dimly lit for the purpose of improving intimacy and we drank our liquor. I was still aware of my advanced state of drunkenness, still able to maintain a conversation but too gone to care about the consequences.

The conversation switched from topic to topic, as it usually does, weaving its way into familiar patterns. Eventually, as we were talking about pornography, the conversation turned to Jennifer's recent stint at her photoshoot. I was too drunk to adequately consider where the conversation might lead. As for Sarah's state, I was not entirely sure how far she was gone.

"I like Jennifer, said Sarah.
"I like her too. She's great.
"You know, sometimes I think she pushes the envelope even more than I do.
"You're right about that.
"I'd never agree to have my sex acts publicly displayed on the internet... certainly not if my face was showing!
"From the pictures, the camera was filming something other than her face!"

That comment earned me a light punch on the shoulder before Sarah continued.

"I'm just saying these images... they might come back to haunt her later.
"We all do things we regret..."

My tone must have changed at that point because Sarah picked up on something. She grabbed my hand in hers.

"Jim... what's wrong?
"What do you mean?
"There's something you're not telling me."

I tried to pull away, but my coordination was lousy so my hand went nowhere.

"Nah! I'm fine.
"Jim, you're not fine. You're drinking like you want to forget something. You've been avoiding my home for the week, insisting I go to your place.
"I don't want to talk about it now.
"When then?
"What?
"When can we talk about it? When you sober up tomorrow?"

I looked away, up, down, anywhere but her face. She leaned in and drew my gaze into hers.

"Jim... is this about what happened between you and Jenn?"

I froze and stared blankly. The alcohol prevented me from uttering a single word, which was probably the best thing I could have done.

"What do you mean?
"Jim, don't take me for granted. You've been deliberately avoiding Jenn since last Tuesday, since I left you two alone. Something happened, right?"

There were no ways out of this. My stupor prevented me from gathering my thoughts and coming up with an elaborate diversion to change the subject. I had been wanting to tell her for days, and now that the opportunity was presenting itself, I was almost ready to deny everything.

"uh...
"And Jenn's been acting strange lately. She won't talk about you either. I know her even more than I know you."

Sarah must have seen the fear in my eyes.

"Just tell me. I promise I won't get mad and we'll talk about it."

She crossed her heart as she said so, to emphasize her point. At that point, I realized I did not actually want to resist. It was better to spill the beans and get it over with.

"When you left... we were looking at those pictures of her from her shoot... and she got me undressed and danced around me... then she gave me a... blowjob."

That last word had difficulty finding its way out of my mouth, for two reasons. One, it was difficult to admit it to my girlfriend. Two, it wasn't entirely accurate, but at the moment, it was all I could muster.

"And?
"And... that's it. She put my dick... in her mouth."

Sarah face's was expressionless. She looked away for a moment, then came back to me.

"So that's it...
"Yeah... pretty much... oh and she tied me up.
"Uh-huh.
"Are you okay, Sarah?"

She took her time to ponder my question, leaving me suspended in mid air, wondering if she was going to catch me or if I was going to collapse on the ground.

"That depends. Are you okay, Jim?
"What do you mean?
"Are you... okay, with what she did? Can you live with it?"

I did not understand why Sarah made this about me. I wanted another kind of reaction from her. Compassion or anger, but not redirection. Still, I was in no mood to argue, so I attempted to answer to the best of my inebriated abilities.

"I guess so maybe... I mean, it was wrong but, if you're all right with it, I can live with it, I guess?"

Sarah seemed to ponder my answer even more.

"We can't talk about this here and now. I'm going to take you home and we'll talk about this when you're sober in the morning.
"Are you mad?
"Not really, no. Disappointed, but not mad."

She kissed me on the forehead. We headed out, our party having just been crashed by the truth.

Sarah woke me up early the next morning. She served me water and toast in bed. I was feeling nauseated so I went to the bathroom and emptied the contents of my stomach. I would not have been sick except for the rush of emotions from the night before. When I came back into my bedroom, Sarah was still waiting for me patiently. I recalled most of what had happened the night before and sat on the edge of the bed, away from her. She moved in close.

"Do you remember what happened last night?
"Yes... I'm sorry.
"I know you are. But are you okay with it?
"I honestly don't know."

This time, I gave her more detail, only to be as thorough as possible. She let me finish my story without interrupting.

"Are you still disappointed?
"Yes... but not at you. Not really. I'm disappointed at Jenn. I didn't think she'd go this far.
"You expected something like this?
"Not expected. But she came onto me about two weeks ago... in the shower.
"What?"

She then told me about her own incident, how she'd let Jennifer get close and eat her out some before pushing her away.

"So I'm not mad at you... because I fell for it too. I mean, I let it happen. Look, Jim, a lot has changed in my life since we started being together."

She seemed reluctant to elaborate further, but I felt full disclosure was necessary here.

"Why would she do that? Why would she... work us both?
"So many reasons."

She pulled away from me and got up, pacing around the bed as she spoke.

"We used to be together, a little under two years ago. She dumped me, you know that. But we still hung out, and once in a while, well, since neither of us was in a steady relationship, we'd have sex. We'd take showers together, play games in the nude, massage each other. Since I've been with you, I haven't done these things as much with her.
"You believe she's jealous, then?
"I know she is. She's told me openly. I know she made a pass at you at the New Year's party. When she got you out of the bathroom.
"You know that?
"she told me."

I'm always amazed at the candor of Sarah's answers. I wanted full disclosure, I have it. Sarah took her time before continuing.

"Let's not dwell on what got us here. Do you love me?
"Yes. And I know you love me too...
"I do."

She smiles, before returning to a more serious expression.

"But we have to do something about Jennifer. We have to nip this in the bud, before it gets out of hand. We need to take control.
"I'm all for that, but frankly, I don't know what to do.
"I do have a few ideas... they may or may not be good ideas. We won't know until we test them.
"The first thing we should do is talk to Jennifer. I know she was feeling as badly as I did for what happened, even if she may not admit it.
"I know she's hurting. I would be in her place. But this is about more than her. This is about us. All three of us. Whatever we decide will have to include all of us. I love you, Jim, but I value Jennifer's friendship as much. I don't want to have to choose."

I had been recollecting my thoughts all the while, so I spoke in a decisive but reasoned tone.

"We won't let that happen, Sarah. We'll do what we can to make it right."

It was my turn to smile. Sarah came back to me with a huge hug and I hugged her back. In the back of my mind, random thoughts strayed in, eager to assist me in this new trial. They tried to coalesce into something coherent, but that would take time. It would be difficult to salvage the situation, but there had to be a way. We had to find it. I cared too much for Sarah to let her down.

[interesting]

There we were, sitting at my kitchen table, Sarah and me one side, Jennifer on the other, coffee and tea on the table, trying to resolve our common problems.

At first, Jennifer listened to what Sarah and I had to say. We started out with facts. We told her that we had discussed everyone's encounters and had made sure that all details were known. This had caused quite a reaction in her face, but she had kept quiet all the same. Once the events that had led to this conversation had been spelled out, namely Sarah's encounter in the shower and mine in the bedroom, we had asked Jennifer why she had come on to both of us. Her answer was a question, which sparked quite a conversation.

"Why did you let me?"

It was a way for her to protect herself from our judgement, but Sarah and I had already agreed that we would not judge Jennifer for her actions too harshly, mainly because we had already answered the question she had just come up with.

Sarah was the first to speak.

"Well, for my part... I'm going to have to be honest with you Jennifer. There was... some pity.
"Pity."

The word sounded like a swear word when uttered by Jennifer. Sarah tried to elaborate.

"I've been riding high for months now, and I know you've been alongside me all this time, experiencing my ups and downs. Suddenly, Jim enters my life, and while you're still there... well, you fall back a spot. When you stepped into the shower with me, I realized we hadn't done it for months. When you kissed me, for a moment, I did forget about Jim. I wanted to please you... but I couldn't.
"You led me on...
"Please, Jenn, be reasonable. You wanted this as much as me."

Jennifer silently apologizes.

"I'm not blaming you for what happened; I love you too much for that. I'm trying to understand what happened, why it happened.
"I'm sorry... go ahead.
"I did lead you on, for a moment. I wanted to please you, I wanted to give you what you sought... but I thought of Jim, and suddenly, it didn't feel right. I stopped you before it got too far.
"So it was pity sex...
"No, more than that. I love you, Jenn, you're my best friend, you were my lover when I had no one else. But now I have Jim.
"And he's good enough for you.
"He is where I am right now. Not to be mean to Jim (she looked at me while talking) but I don't know where I'll be a year from now. Jenn, you've been too good to me for me to forsake you. What I want is to make this, our friendship, work."

Sarah turned to me. It was my turn to explain my situation. Before I could speak, Jennifer intervened.

"It's hard, you know. I know, I'm the one who broke up with you, but still, I had... privileges. It's tough letting go.
"I know, Sarah said. Why don't we hear from Jim?"

I cleared my throat. I had thought a lot about what I wanted to say, how I had felt and how the incident had impacted my relationship with Sarah. I needed to be candid with Jennifer, and even though Sarah already knew what I was going to say, it still felt awkward to spell it out loud.

"I've never been in this situation, Jenn. You have to understand, everything about this is new to me. I've never had any female friends... let alone people with whom I was comfortable getting naked around that weren't my partner. When we... got together, I got overstimulated at first, then scared. A lot. Sarah knows I like to be in control, and I lost it.
"Is it because I tied you up?
"No. Maybe. It probably didn't help. It's not like I haven't fantasized about it. I haven't forgotten what you told me in the bathroom at the party.
"About?
"About wanting to... fuck me."

Jennifer smiles.

"It's flattering. Unsettling a little, but you're gorgeous, sexy. You flaunt your sexuality like a second skin. You do turn me on. But I'm with Sarah, and that's a choice, for now at least."

Sarah looks at me and provides support. She knows what I'm talking about and lets me continue.

"The games we played were... some of the most erotic experiences I've ever had. They may seem bland to you...
"They don't...
"...well, to me, they're intense and intoxicating. I'm not at your comfort level, so my emotions play tricks on me. I wanted you to suck me... but then the image of Sarah popped in and... well, you know the rest."

I had said my piece. I had been honest. Jennifer was a hot girl and of course, I wanted to have sex with her, but not at the expense of my relationship with Sarah. I think Sarah felt exactly the same way, but about both of us, which made her situation slightly more intimate than mine. We looked at Jennifer, waiting for her reactions. She took her time gathering her thoughts, as we had. I refilled her coffee cup.

"Here's the thing Sarah... Jim has changed things.
"How so?
"Well... let me give you an example. Remember when we were together, those six months?
"Sure, very well.
"Do you recall, over the summer, that party we had at Claire's place?
"I do.
"We were together, right?
"Yeah, you and me, an item.
"Do you remember swapping partners?
"I do. I went with Cassie, you went with Claire.
"And how did it feel?
"It was great watching you get it on with Claire... and being with Cassie was awesome for me too.
"So what changed?
"I don't get your question.
"Why do you cling to Jim? Why won't you do the same with Jim as you did with me?
"If I remember correctly, you were the one who proposed the swap.
"Actually, it was Claire, and we both agreed. But since Jim's been here, it's only been you two."

I felt I had to intervene, but Sarah made a discreet move to keep me quiet so I let them speak.

"Have you told him about what we did the week before you started going out with him?
"What exactly did we do?
"The thing with me and Tom?
"Oh... not really.
"What about at the mid-semester party, when you were chasing him... with you, Bonnie and Barry in the shower?"

I was intrigued of course, because Sarah had not shared those events with me. I wondered why Jennifer was bringing them up. Even if Sarah had experienced a few sexual encounters, they had happened before we had gotten together.

"I didn't.
"Why? Did you want to protect him from the real you?
"The real me?"

Jennifer seemed agitated. She wanted Sarah to say something and I was not sure what she was hinting at, though I was suspecting.

"Even when you were going out with Brad, you still had sex with other people, and Brad knew about it. He didn't mind. He was there most of the time, watching and appreciating!
"That was high school.
"And now, two years later, Jim comes along, and you shield him from all that. Sarah, I hate to break it to you, but you're not a one-person woman, and if you think you are, you're fooling yourself."

Jennifer's comment took Sarah aback. I placed my hand on her shoulder.

"Are you all right? I inquired.
"Yes... I'm fine."

Jennifer decided not to say anything more for the moment. Sarah was obviously unnerved by Jennifer's comment.

"Have I changed that much?
"You have. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, I'm just saying... I don't know what I'm saying."

Jennifer looked away this time. She was sorry for raising her tone and angry at herself for feeling the way she did. Sarah stared at me, inquisitive.

"Do you think it's true? That I... can't be with just one person?
"I don't know. I think... as long as you're happy with someone. But that's me.
"Jennifer is right, to some extent. I am holding back... for your sake.
"Does it hurt to hold back? Does it make you uneasy?"

Sarah took some time to ponder the question. As she did, Jennifer called me out.

"Jim, I like you a lot. I may even love you, whatever that means to me. Sarah loves you, and I would never do anything to hurt her. But... you are, to some extent, in the way. Since you've been in Sarah's life, fully, I have barely seen her. She spends all her time with you... I am jealous. I'm jealous because what we had is now unattainable. I can't speak for Sarah, but I know it hurts me.
"What did you have then, that my presence takes away?
"Shower time... massages, hanging out... having sex once in a while... masturbating in front of each other. We did it at least once a week before. We haven't done it since you've been together. I know this must sound shallow...
"I think I understand the logic.
"And it's not you personally. It might be the same with someone else. I just have to learn to cope with it.
"Well, we are taking chances... I mean, being naked in front of each other all the time can't help, for instance."

Both Sarah and Jennifer agreed. There was such openness to their relationship that I had intruded upon it. They had both managed to integrate me in their routine, but everything was now out of sync. Sarah finally broke her silence.

"I do miss some of the things we used to do, and I have gotten carried away with Jim. But I love him, and I want to spend time with him too."

I wanted to help so I intervened.

"Look, you can still hang out and do stuff together, all three of us.
"But Jim, asked Jennifer, how far are you willing to commit?
"Commit?
"Say... and this is extreme, but just listen... say Sarah and me want to masturbate in front of each other, like we used to. Would you allow it? Would you participate? Three is a crowd.
"I do have limits, Jenn, but okay, I'll humor you. Say you two want to take a shower together, I don't mind. But you have to be able to hold back.
"But what if we can't? Would you forgive Sarah or me?
"You're speculating here, I don't know how I would react. If I sincerely believed it just happened, maybe. It's hard to know without having experienced it. I'm just guessing here."

It was Sarah who spoke. Her words, decisive, settled the argument.

"All right. Let's find out.
"Find out what?"

I was curious.

"Let's find out how far we can go.
"You'll have to be more specific."

Sarah took my hand.

"Jim, you trust me, right?
"You always ask that question when you're going to ask something of me.
"I do, don't I? Okay. Jennifer has a point. I can't simply transform myself overnight. I have been aching for... well... my old routine. My new routine is wonderful too, but I need both, I think.
"What do you propose then?
"I want us to find a way to make this work. You, Jennifer, me.
"A threesome?"

My question must have sounded a little excited and a little worried.

"Well, not really. But I do want to share everything with you. Even Jennifer. She means more to me than I can even let on."

Sarah stared at Jennifer.

"Do you want to give this a try?
"Sure. Anything to spend some time with my favorite girl.
"Jim?
"I'm not saying no, but I need to know more.
"Here's what I propose. We set up a date, where all three of us meet to experiment a little. We set ground rules according to the chosen activity; I even suggest we put one of us in charge of that date, to see what each person comes up with. It will be less pressure on one individual.
"Go on.
"Whoever is in charge gets to plan the event; but of course, anyone can back out at any time if they feel uncomfortable with anything. That way, nothing happens that we don't want to happen."

Jennifer seemed to agree with the idea. There were aspects of Sarah's suggestion which disturbed me, but the notion of being able to back out reassured me. And truth be told, there was a part of me that wanted to experiment. It was more than the notion of a threesome, although I'm sure that idea played itself right into my fantasies. There was a need to make everything all right again, to make Sarah happy, to restore her friendship with Jennifer.

That alone would have been sufficient to convince me. But there was no way for me to predict how things would turn out in the end. Perhaps that was the most thrilling part of it all.

[interesting]

Picture me, on all fours, wearing a tight corset, tight latex pants and a leash tied to my neck. Picture Sarah, kneeling in front of me, wearing a tight maid's uniform, a skirt too short, her cleavage showing heavily, in stilettos, a leash around her neck.

In my craziest dreams, I would have never imagined I would find myself in such a predicament. Yet there I was, in Jennifer and Sarah's room, being led around by a very domineering Jennifer, who was wearing a dark gown open on both sides of the legs, with low cleavage and a nice collar. She held onto our leashes tightly, to prevent us from getting away - as if I was going anywhere looking like this.

The idea of trying to test our limits with Jennifer had first intrigued and inspired me when Sarah had mentioned it. I knew Jennifer was into Sarah and also into me, and it was flattering to get the attention. We had decided that we would try stuff out, see what worked, what didn't, in order to get a better understanding of how we could live together as friends. After some debate, we had decided to take turns planning the activities. We would each have a weekend to plan something and the other two would follow that person's lead for the weekend. Jennifer had been selected to go first.

When I got to their room, Jennifer had planned everything. She explained that Sarah and I were going to be her slaves for the weekend, to do as she saw fit. We immediately set ground rules before getting into the actual play. I would be allowed to get short pauses if I requested them politely, by asking Jennifer, who was to be my mistress. But no more than once per hour. I would be allowed to be liberated as a slave at night, for bed. I would not be asked to do anything in public or illicit, or against my morals. But I would have to obey her commands to the letter. If I failed to comply, there would be punishments : spankings and being tied up mostly.

It was now late Saturday night and I was about to be liberated for the night. I was ecstatic about it. Jennifer had me jumping through hoops all day. At first, she got me to undress, which I did not mind. Then, she asked me to take a shower while she watched, and forced me to wash with an abrasive soap. It was Sarah's turn to do the same. Once we were clean, she had us get on all fours and strut around naked in the apartment. She had us behave like dogs, sniffing our butts (not the most pleasant experience even if I enjoyed Sarah's behind most of the time), and then had us eating out of bowls from the ground with only our mouths. It was hard not to break character. I felt so awkward. Sarah seemed more at ease and I wondered how often she had been the slave in their former relationship. I had always fancied Sarah more as the dominatrix but, looking back, it made more sense to have her as the victim.

I had earned my first pause after lunch, getting some relief from being on all fours. Fifteen minutes went by too fast.

Jennifer then got us dressed in the attire we were currently wearing. She had used us both in turn as stools while watching some television; Sarah had been chosen to feed her grapes with her mouth. I might have been turned on by the sight of them almost kissing as Sarah dropped the grapes in Jennifer's mouth, had I been able to see what was happening. I had been blindfolded.

It had been my turn then to feed Jennifer; I was to chew her food and kiss it into her mouth. The kisses were nice but the exchange of food made me somewhat ill and I had to take another timeout. I forgot to ask politely, so even if she agreed to give me fifteen minutes, I received fifteen floggings before resuming.

I had never been flogged before. Jennifer was gentle with the first few slaps, but then got more into it with the last ones. My behind was still aching, hours after, from the intensity.

Jennifer then got Sarah and me to make out in front of her, which was probably the most satisfying part of the day. She got Sarah to grab my sack (first times were becoming common by then) and slap it a few times. Sarah was gentle with it, and I survived. I had agreed to limited amounts of pain.

Jennifer had then asked me to masturbate into Sarah's mouth. Being given a blowjob was one thing, but to actually intentionally aim for her mouth and shoot into it while she waited was something else entirely. At first, I politely asked for a timeout, and inquired if Sarah was okay with this. She said she did not mind, that it was not really different from a standard blowjob. I decided to go along with it, but my wits were slowly being taken to their limits. I jerked off for a while, under the watchful gaze of Jennifer, who instructed me on how to do it as I was doing it. It took me a long time to build up anticipation and energy. Jennifer's voice felt shrill to my ears, and it felt like a turn off. Eventually, though, Sarah's waiting stare got me into the mood, I forgot about Jennifer staring and I managed to shoot most of it into her mouth. Jennifer told Sarah not to spit or swallow.

I was aware that although Sarah did not mind giving blowjobs, she preferred to quickly move it out of her mouth because of the taste. I was impressed by how much control Jennifer was exerting on Sarah. It was then that Jennifer pushed the envelope farther than I anticipated.

"All right, slave Jim, I want you to kiss slave Sarah and swap your semen into your mouth."

I stared blankly at Jennifer, bewildered. How could she ask that of me? She must have been joking. But like everything else that had happened that day, it was part of the game and it was serious. I was tempted to call it quits completely. Sarah's gaze told me she was willing to continue, and for some obscure reason, that was sufficient for me. I leaned in, apprehensively.

At first, Sarah closed her mouth. Our lips met. I could already taste the salty and sugary texture on her lips. It did not help me with the deed. I closed my eyes, as if that could help. We opened our mouths, and she shoved her tongue and my semen into my mouth. I pulled back, spitting everything out on the ground.

"No... Can't do it. Flog me, I don't care."

So she flogged me. Twenty five times. It was still better than tasting my own semen. Jennifer would have flogged me more, but Sarah said she would take any additional floggings for me, and she did.

After that, Jennifer resumed just having me and Sarah walk around the apartment on all fours until supper.

Right after supper, which we almost ate in bowls using only our mouths, Jennifer gave Sarah and me some time alone. We retreated into her bedroom.

"So... did you used to do this often?
"Frankly, Jim, no. And I don't really know why Jennifer chose this. I don't think this is going like she expected.
"What makes you say that? She's been cold all day.
"Well, she's supposed to be, it's part of her dominatrix personality. Little gratification, a cold shoulder, she portrays someone unattached. The idea is that when she does offer validation, it has more impact."

Sarah's comment hit a nerve on my end.

"I can't imagine she likes doing that?
"How about you? Do you like this?
"Honestly? Not really. You can't have enjoyed it, right?
"Well, some of it yeah.
"You like being dragged on all fours, like a dog?
"Not specifically. But I like... being told what to do, being led around. Think of it like this... let's say we're having sex... which we might get to do later anyway... imagine you're telling me exactly what to do, how to position myself, how you like it... I'm a puppet in your hands.
"I see.
"Well, it's roughly the same thing here. It's liberating to be told what to do.
"I couldn't stand it. Not all the time.
"That's because it's not in your character. It's in mine. Once we're alone, if you want to try it out with me...
"Maybe some other time. You said Jennifer was probably not happy with what was happening. What makes you say that, specifically?"

Sarah took her time to gather her thoughts.

"It has to do with how she's going about it. She's not as into it as she could be, not as imaginative. She's holding back... because of you, I think.
"Yeah, I have that effect on you too.
"You sound bitter.
"I don't want my presence to affect how you are.
"It does. But that's okay. You're slowly getting there.
"What if I don't want to, or can't get there?"

Sarah took my hand.

"Jim, you don't have to. I know I'm eccentric... but I don't have to be. That's not what makes me happy.
"And what does?
"Being with you. The games are nice, but they're not everything. Not even close."

We kissed shyly. Jennifer beckoned to us from the other room.

"Shall we?"

We returned to the living room, where Jennifer was eagerly waiting. We bowed before her. I felt I needed to say something, and since I was still on my pause, I felt comfortable talking openly.

"Jennifer, before we get back into it, I need to ask you something.
"Go ahead, Jim... you can ask in character too.
"It's better like this.
"Okay. What's on your mind?"

It took me a moment to formulate my question.

"What are you trying to accomplish here?
"I'm not sure I follow?
"What's your goal? Is it just to have some fun at our expense? Or does the power give you a rush?
"It's hard to define. It's about control, I think, having it, exerting it, suffering it on your end. Are you enjoying it?
"Truthfully?
"Yes, please.
"I'm not. It feels unnatural."

Sarah felt the need to intervene.

"What Jim is saying, I think, is that you're not really into it either. I mean, you're obviously holding back for his sake.
"Or for yours... answered Jennifer.
"What I'm saying, continued Sarah, is that you need to define what you are looking for. Domination for domination is fine and all, but what does it provide us with, really? What do we all get out of it?"

The question hung in mid air. I realized Jennifer had probably not reflected on this before coming up with her idea. I had done some research on bondage since I had started going out with Sarah. Right now, we were merely playing at being slaves and master; we were not fully into it. Maybe that was why it wasn't doing anything for anyone.

"So... should we step it up a notch?"

My query left Sarah and Jennifer puzzled.

"I'm just asking. My limits are the same as before, but, given the possibilities, I mean, I'm sure there are other things we can do that are reasonable."

Jennifer said she would reflect on the possibilities and get back to us. We spent the rest of the evening playing dogs again, but this time, Jennifer dragged us around the apartment with more force. I had to admit the situation felt more enticing than when she gave us more freedom. I could tell Sarah was enjoying it thoroughly. She had us wash her feet and thighs, and then lick them up with our tongues. She had shaved her legs, for which I was grateful.

She eventually decided to move up a notch. She told us that as dogs, we needed to breed. Sarah had anticipated this and had forewarned me. I wasn't really intimidated at the notion of having sex with Sarah in front of Jennifer - I had already done it several weeks. My concern was over Jennifer's own reaction to the event. I had voiced my concern to Sarah, but she had reassured me that she and Jennifer had a long talk about it prior to this activity.

Jennifer got us to lie still on our backs first. She removed my tight latex pants and the thong I was wearing underneath. It was an uncomfortable feeling being bottomless but still bound in a corset. She moved to Sarah, who was on her back beside me, and removed her panties. From Jennifer's stare, I realized that Sarah must have been stimulated. She has us lie there for a moment, and she went to get gags. She placed one on each of our mouths, then moved back to our bottoms. She placed a hand firmly on my hardening shaft, and slid one hand against Sarah's wet hole. She played with us for a while, then she slapped our genitalia. I didn't particularly like it, but I saw Sarah quiver almost in ecstasy. That did the trick better and I felt myself anticipate the next thing.

Jennifer placed a kiss on Sarah's sex, then one on mine, then she slapped us again, this time with more force.

Jennifer looked at us.

"Do you want to fuck each other?"

We both mumbled positively through our gags.

"What are you willing to do for it?"

I realized that, at my level of stimulation, I was ready to do about anything. Sarah was quick to try to speak through the gag. Jennifer moved to her mouth and ungagged her.

"Anything, mistress... anything."

I realized Sarah actually meant it. This made Jennifer smile.

"All right, I have an idea."

Jennifer returned the gag to Sarah's mouth. She got up and told us to remain immobile. I tried to get Sarah to look at me but she was lost in the moment. Jennifer came back, stark naked, holding a large dildo in her hands.

"Slave Sarah, get on all fours."

Sarah jumped up and set herself up. I was thinking that Jennifer was going to insert it into Sarah, but instead she handed it to her and laid down in front of her, legs apart.

"Slave Jim, kneel behind Sarah and enter here, but remain motionless once inside."

I did as I was ordered to. I had specifically said that I did not want to have sex with Jennifer, and that was being respected. My shaft entered Sarah's pussy. The gags on our mouths prevented us from moaning. Jennifer told me to keep my hands behind my back at all times.

"Sarah, you will now pleasure me with the device. Jim, you cannot release until I have had my orgasm. If you do, there will be punishments."

I could see how wet Jennifer was as the dildo entered her. It took all my will not to pump into Sarah, but I knew my best chance of not coming was to remain as motionless as possible. I was already on edge. My stare kept going back to Jennifer's naked form, and the device manipulated by Sarah, entering her. Sarah was beginning to sway back and forth on me. I had to keep my hands behind my back, so I could not grab hold of her to prevent her from swaying. I saw Jennifer's pussy disappear behind Sarah's face. Was she also licking her? I could hardly contain my excitement as I began to subconsciously join the movement. I closed my eyes, but I could still see the picture very clearly.

I heard Jennifer moan and opened my eyes. She had grabbed hold of Sarah's head and pulled her in. This was all too much for me. The only thing preventing from releasing instantly was the luck of vocal stimulation from Sarah. The gag had been removed; I saw it beside Jennifer's legs. She was definitely eating her out. I was surprised that this did not shock me at all, that I was actually enjoying seeing my girlfriend give oral sex to another girl while I was taking her. Jennifer's moans almost turned to screams; this was too much for me and I emptied into Sarah, pumping as hard as I could. Jennifer fell limp at the same time I did.

It took us a moment to gather ourselves. Sarah pulled up to Jennifer and laid her head on her breasts. I laid on top of Sarah, and my hands grabbed Jennifer's thighs in the process, kneading them without realizing it.

"Sarah... wow."

That was all Jennifer could muster at the moment. I was thinking how the reality of the situation would suddenly set in, how my morals and principles would creep up on me out of nowhere. I was surprised when I felt very little except satisfaction.

"You're crushing me, Jim.

I mumbled sorry through my gag. I moved back out and Sarah straightened herself. Jennifer was still lying on her back, still spent from her own orgasm. Sarah removed my gag and kissed me passionately.

"How are you?
"Better than I expected."

I could feel some resentment and uncertainty as to what had just transpired, but I did not have any retrospect at the moment to make a conscious decision about the event.

"I think we should call it a night. Jenn?
"Sure... I'm... good."

Sarah took me by the hand and led me back to their bedroom, where we removed all of our costumes and laid on her bed.

"Did you mind... what I did?
"Don't think so... It was all I could do not to, well, hold it in. It was intoxicating... I need to sleep on it.
"I'm sure you do."

We laid in her bed, under the covers. She huddled against me, kissed me again.

"I love you Jim."

I nodded, but no words came out. This was a unique experience, something I had never envisioned as really happening. I needed time to assess the event... but that would come in the morning.

That night, erotic dreams of threesomes filled my head.

[interesting]

It had been one week since I had been in bondage with Sarah under Jennifer's orders. I distinctly remembered every vivid detail of the sexual encounter that had happened. I remembered Jennifer's naked form, Sarah's head between her legs as she pleased Jennifer with a device as well as her mouth, as I rode Sarah harder than I'd ever done so. It was not technically a threesome (at least in my mind), but it had been as close as I could ever imagine one.

The initial ease I had felt during the event had subsided the next day, and I had been left with several questions. I had read somewhere that the dominant male fantasy was two women, one man. I had always imagined that did not apply to me. Now that I had been granted the opportunity to live it, I felt unsure as to how to see myself. I had always imagined I was very different from 'normal' guys. My reaction had shattered some of that illusion. I felt ordinary, like I was nothing special anymore. Sarah had done her best to ease my stress, and she had done a wonderful job of it, but the question remained, more of a lingering doubt in the back of my head.

I had been randomly selected among the three to choose our next activity. I had the entire week to prepare something, but it took me until Wednesday to actually start to elaborate a plan. It actually came to me thanks to Sarah. We had been watching a gift she had gotten me two weeks prior. She was aware that I was into the superhero fetish, from her knowledge of the websites on my computer, so she had actually ordered me one video from the site. I had been both shocked and ecstatic. That night, we had watched the video, portraying two female superheroes that were captured by the villain, and forced to perform sexual acts on each other first, then finish him off with a blowjob. During the whole film, I had been having sex with Sarah, staring partly at her, partly at the screen, imagining I was the villain. When the video had neared the end, she had finished me off with a blowjob alongside the villain.

That Wednesday night, I was alone and somewhat into my internal reflections. Sarah had a lot of work to do for classes so I decided I would bide my time by watching the video again. I got naked, plugged the video into my machine and started watching the two superheroines go at it, as I masturbated to it. In my haze, suddenly, the faces of the superheroines changed, and there were Jennifer and Sarah, going at it, and I was the villain, masturbating to them. That orgasm was incredible. Once I had my release, I stopped the video and began pondering the thoughts gathering in my head.

On some level, I knew that the only reason Sarah was preventing herself from still sleeping around - and with Jennifer specifically - was out of respect for my personal limitations. Yet I had recently experienced a strange and satisfying feeling at seeing her please Jennifer; of course I had been participating at the time. It occurred to me that maybe, if the mood and ambiance were right, I would not mind if she and Jennifer got it on more agressively.

That thought kept me awake all night, and in the morning, my mind was made up. That afternoon, I met with Jennifer and told her my plan. She was pleasantly surprised. I told her this would be a one-time thing and not to expect anything more from the encounter. I also told her that we needed to get Sarah's consent. She assured me she would respect all of our decisions.

Talking about it to Sarah was much harder than I had imagined. That night, we stayed home and I plugged the video. We started making out watching out, then having sex more roughly. We let the video play out and our sex come through, then we went into the bedroom to rest. There was no better time to open her up to my idea.

"I know what we're going to do this weekend... if you're game.
"Hit me.
"I want to do video... a private video.
"Go on."

I knew she had videos of her and some of her past partners somewhere; I had never been privy to see them as Sarah believed they belonged in the past. I was the present and the future. That's why I knew she wouldn't mind.

"Here's the thing. It will be you... and Jennifer."

She was a bit shocked.

"We're going to make an erotic superhero movie."

Suddenly, Sarah smiled. It took me off guard.

"I was wondering when you were going to ask me to dress up... but with Jennifer? Are you sure?
"Yes."

I tried to make it convincing. I was definitely unsure of how the actual event would take place or how it would affect our relationship, but the idea was in my mind and could not be expunged.

"Okay then... we can borrow Bonnie's camera. Do you where we can shoot?
"Actually... I do."

And so I explained my plan to her. She let me fill out the details, only interrupting me to get some clarification on details.

"You are asking me to have sex with Jennifer?...
"I am. But it's acting too... I think that will make it okay.
"Jim, I don't want you to do anything that would make you uncomfortable. You know my limits are low... and if you chicken out in the middle... well, let's just say I hate being... forced to interrupt."

It took us a few hours to work out the kinks but we managed to get an understanding that I would let things unfold and work from thereafter, at which time we had sex again, before going to sleep.

On the next Saturday, we took Jennifer's car and headed to Peter's house. Jennifer had contacted her photographer friend and he agreed to lend us his house for the day for our shoot. His only requirement had been to be able to watch the movie once it was completed. We had of course verified that with Sarah. We met Peter as he was getting ready to leave. He commented me on my appearance and told me how lucky I was to have such an understanding partner. I didn't answer anything because he intimidated me.

We walked into the house. I immediately recognized the sets from several photo shoots which I had seen Jennifer in: the couch, the stairs, the swimming pool out back, and the adjacent beach which was an ocean front. Our first part of the shooting would occur there. Jennifer and Sarah retreated into the bathroom to get into costume while I familiarized myself with the camera operations. Bonnie had offered to come along but I had declined. She was not entirely aware of why we needed it and for the moment I wanted to keep it that way.

I was anticipating the day's shooting before it even started. I felt the bulge in my pants and wanted to experience the release before we got things started. There were pictures of naked women on every wall of the house, all models who has posed for Peter. I recognized most of them but a few were unfamiliar. I had no idea so many of these models lived in the region. I played with myself through my pants until the girls came out.

We had found the costumes at local shop and had loaned them for a reasonable price.

Jennifer was Batgirl; her costume was not the traditional interpretation. She was wearing long light blue boots which went above her knees. She wore a light blue mini-skirt with matching panties. Her midriff was exposed, and her chest and arms were covered with a light blue fabric, with the bat logo between her breasts. She wore a simple face mask with edges. She also had light blue gloves.

Sarah was Supergirl; her costume was closer to the modern interpretation. Her knee high boots were red, she was also wearing the red mini-skirt with matching panties. Her midriff was also exposed, and her chest harbored the traditional symbol.

All I could was stare for a moment. Sarah told Jennifer to leave for a moment, and she did. Sarah came over to me and put her hand on my hardening crotch.

"We should take care of that before we start filming."

She unzipped my pants, whipped me out and started sucking on it. My eyes were wandering at the portraits of the naked girls as my girl, my Supergirl, was giving me the best blowjob I could imagine. It did not take long for me to shoot into her mouth. She swallowed everything, then licked me clean. The tension was relieved and I was much more at ease. She pulled my pants up and I zipped them back.

"That way, you can focus on filming."

She smiled and kissed me fleetingly, before heading back to the bathroom to rinse her mouth.

Moments later, we were on the beach for the initial scene. Batgirl calls upon Supergirl's help, asking her to meet on the beach. But it's actually a lure; Batgirl intends to capture Supergirl. I set up the camera and we start shooting. It's a simple dialogue, but Sarah and Jennifer are really into it.

We get to the fight scene. Here the girls improvise. They pull on each other's hair, fall down in the sand, roll around. Batgirl drags Supergirl to the water and throws her in; Supergirl retaliates in kind. The two battle in the water for a moment; the submission scene comes. Batgirl places Supergirl's head under water and holds her there until she collapses. We are a little wary of this scene and film it in multiple sequences. Supergirl is dragged out of the water, unconscious, while Batgirl stands triumphant.

We move inside the house for the next scene. Since there is sand all over, the girls decide to clean themselves and their costumes. It may not be realistic but it is right, since we are in somebody else's home. We place a collar around Supergirl's neck, with a green glass gem, to represent a kryptonite collar.

Supergirl wakes up in the bed, weakened and unable to defend herself, as Batgirl flogs her and teases her. Supergirl is stripped slowly, and Batgirl laughs at the humiliation. Batgirl then produces a green dildo on a strap-on (Jennifer found it while shopping around on Friday) and explains to Supergirl that this kryptonite dildo will drain her powers and transfer them to Batgirl.

We halt the filming at that point. Sarah insists on asking me if everything is all right and if I'm still willing to let Jennifer take her with the dildo. Oddly enough, the entire event is stimulating, and I do not mind at all. Sarah leans over and kisses me. We both notice I'm hard again. This time, she lets it slide and returns to the bed. We resume filming.

Batgirl partially strips, removing her skirt and panties, and she straps on the dildo. Supergirl tries to resist, but Batgirl slides the dildo into her (I'm amazed at how easily it slides in - Sarah must be overly stimulated as well). Batgirl pounds hard, as Supergirl must submit to the orgasm that is being provided for her. Batgirl claims to be absorbing all of Supergirl's powers, as she forces her to orgasm twice. All the while, I'm filming, moving around them, completely detached from the scene. We end that part of the shoot with Batgirl pulling out and forcing Supergirl to lick the dildo that was in her pussy, then abandoning her to her fate. But our story is not over.

Sarah, stepping out of character, asks Jennifer to leave us alone for a moment. Sarah straightens herself, looking straight at me from her naked form.

"Jim... Talk to me, please.
"Why?
"Just... talk to me.
"What do you want me to say?
"Anything."

Sarah's reaction surprises me. She seems to feel uncomfortable and I have never seen that in her. I figure I need to talk, but I have only one question on my mind.

"Did you enjoy it?
"God yes!... so much... having you watch me... film me... it was so unbelievable.
"But?...
"I don't know. I feel odd.
"Do you want to stop filming?
"No. But... could you fuck me, now, please?"

I am already immensely turned on so I agree. I remove my pants and she starts playing with me, before getting on all fours and hinting for me to ride her doggy style. After the two orgasms she has just experienced, she can't be simply looking for physical satisfaction. I proceed to enter her and she moans my name as loud as she can without screaming.

"Oh yes Jim... fuck me good, now!"

I'm only too happy to oblige and I start pounding her as hard as I can. She is almost screaming at the top of her lungs, and I wonder what exactly is going on through her mind. Our love-making does not last for more than a few minutes before I shoot into her; the orgasm I provide her does not even compare to the first two she has just felt. I sense her trembling around me like never before. What kind of emotions and ideas are racing through her mind? I'll need to inquire later.

She collapses on the bed and practically falls asleep. I lean beside her, kissing her neck and trying to keep her awake. Eventually, she stirs and turns around towards me.

"Am I a bad person, Jim?
"I don't think so.
"Because I get satisfaction from other people?...
"We agreed this was all right.
"I know... but. I don't know. Hold me."

I hold her tight. What kind of stress is this experience putting her under? I'm thinking we should call it quits. She eventually recomposes herself.

"I'm fine now. I love you, Jim. So much... you can't imagine.
"I love you too. What do you want to do?
"Let's finish this movie.
"Are you sure?"

I'm amazed that I'm the one asking that question. Sarah confirms she is fine to continue. We gather ourselves and move to the swimming pool. Jennifer is already there, still bottomless, possibly playing with herself. She says nothing. I set up my camera.

Batgirl does her exit into the pool area, still bottomless, holding the strap-on dildo in one hand, setting it aside. She walks around the pool, triumphant, talking to herself about how she defeated Supergirl. Suddenly, Supergirl, still naked emerges and attacks her. Both fall into the pool; during the struggle, Supergirl manages to place the kryptonite necklace around Batgirl's throat, and suddenly Batgirl is weakened. As it turns out, Batgirl also absorbed Supergirl's weakness. Supergirl drags Batgirl out of the water.

Supergirl then retrieves the strap-on and says she is going to retrieve her powers, no matter what. It is Batgirl's turn to be pinned down, as Supergirl slides the dildo into her pussy. Batgirl is moaning, desperately trying to fight back but in her weakened state, she can only submit to Supergirl's forced sexual encounter. The girls move around, assuming several positions as I walk around them, away from the pool to avoid any incidents. Supergirl strips Batgirl of her costume as she is doing her, but leaves her mask on. Supergirl only releases Batgirl after she has had two orgasms, so that the full powers are transferred back. Supergirl then gives a warning to Batgirl to never try this again, or the consequences will be dire. She departs, leaving a humiliated Batgirl beside the pool.

We end the movie on that scene. Jennifer looks thoroughly satisfied. I realize that all the while I was filming, I was seeing the characters and not my friends, and this somehow made the shooting acceptable in my mind. Sarah, on the other hand, seems still a little shaken up about it. We'll get our chance to speak about it, but for the moment, we gather our stuff and order some food. I realize we have not taken the time to eat at all and could go for some food.

My mind races back to Sarah's reaction. What happened in her mind to cause her to snap like that? Something in her past? Something about me? This is definitely something I will need to delve further into.

In the meantime, I'll have to think of where and when I'll be able to do the montage.

[interesting]

I had recently come to an unsettling realization, in my quest to become more open with my relationship with Sarah. We'd each had a run-in with Jennifer, who was clearly into us both, and so we'd decided to experiment with our limits to see how we could live with Jennifer's presence in our midst. Two weekends ago, we'd submitted to some exercise in bondage with Jennifer. While the event had not been that nice for my part, I'd experienced my first sexual encounter with Sarah, while Sarah was pleasing Jennifer. I had been amazed that I had been able to cope with the event and not remain scarred by it.

Then, the previous weekend, in order to test a theory, I had set up a video shooting where Jennifer and Sarah, dressed as superheroines, had sex before me while in character. Sarah had been adamant that I allow things to go on. I had been afraid that I might panic and run off, but I had kept my cool during the entire event, as if the fact the girls were playing characters somehow made it acceptable. The experience had been enlightening.

There had been one element of surprise, and it had been Sarah's almost breakdown after Jennifer had made her orgasm with the strap-on dildo. I had felt Sarah's resistance break and she had insisted I make love to her.

The following day, we had talked about her reaction, back at my place. Jennifer was not there.

"Can you tell me how you felt?
"It's hard to describe, Jim. I wanted it to be you. When Jennifer was riding me... I wanted it to be you.
"Did you enjoy it?
"It was unbelievable. But, there was something missing.
"Me?
"Yes! Jim, I love sex, I always have, but you weren't there, and somehow, despite the pleasure, despite the play... it felt hollow."

We'd pondered the implications for the entire week. We discussed the notion of casual sex, how it could be handled, since we were officially now trying to integrate Jennifer not only in our relationship but also in our sexual play. Since it was Sarah who would be in charge the following weekend, she would have time to reflect on what she wanted out of the three person relationship.

We made our way to the next Friday without incident and we met up with Jennifer on that night. Sarah had come up with her own activity for the weekend.

"Okay... here's the thing. We know now that Jim is comfortable with me being with you Jenn.
"In some contexts, I added.
"Yeah. And we know I'm all right with it, provided that Jim is around so I can share my... good fortune with him."

Jennifer looked at me. She seemed to know where Sarah was going, but at that moment, I was clueless.

"If this is going to work, we need to find out how far you two can be together."

I looked at Jennifer and wondered the same question. I had seen her orgasm at the hands of Sarah many times, once under my own manipulations. I wondered if I could actually have sex with her without affecting my outlook on Sarah.

"So here's what I propose. As of tonight, and until we decide to stop, we are... a trio. A couple with three partners."

I must have looked puzzled because Sarah turned to me to elaborate.

"Think of it as a first date between us and Jennifer."

That made a bit more sense. We would start to include her slowly in our relationship, and see how far we could go with it. And if things didn't work, well, we always had a fallback position.

"And our first order of business is going to the restaurant, and then going out for the night."

So we did. We went to a fancy restaurant, the kind of place you'd take a girl for a first date. We each paid for our own food, as modern dating etiquette entails. It was odd, because I already knew so much about Jennifer; I didn't think I would be able to learn much about her. But I actually did. She talked about her modeling, her work at the shelter, then her dream to become an actress. She said she had always fancied a three-way relationship, to which I blushed. Sarah talked about her goals to become a kindergarten teacher and the long process of getting there. I spoke about my desire to make professor, which would not happen until maybe six or seven years. By the end of supper, we had gotten pretty cozy.

We left the restaurant and headed for a local bar, somewhere we didn't usually go. There was lounge music playing, great cocktails. We danced a lot; it was strange and people must have noticed something, because I was dancing with Sarah, then with Jennifer, then Sarah danced with Jennifer. One guy eventually asked me if I was dating both. I had to answer yes. This apparently got me good reputation among the crowd, and for the rest of the evening, my drinks were free. I tried to moderate my consumption but I was pretty giddy by midnight. Jennifer and Sarah decided we should leave then, so we returned to my place. This being a 'first date', it was decided that it would be better if Jennifer went home (she was driving). We kissed her good night and she went off, while Sarah and I retreated to my apartment. I fell asleep almost instantly.

The next morning, I awoke to the smell of pancakes. I ate with Sarah, then I called Jennifer around noon to see if she wanted to go out this afternoon. She agreed and we met at a local amusement park. There, we hugged as we met and entered the park.

"I really had a great time last night.
"So did we."

Jennifer was really playing along with our idea of a first date and that somehow made me more comfortable with her presence and her overtures. I bought ice cream for both of the girls, and we walked along the promenade, enjoying the sights and the rides. We ended up walking together, all three of us holding hands. It drew quite a number of stares, but somehow it did not bother me, and it did not seem to bother Sarah or Jennifer.

Things got a little spicy when we sat down on the roller coaster ride. I was in the middle, with Sarah on one side and Jennifer on the other. As the cart started wheeling forward, Jennifer's hand landed on my lap. She unbuttoned my pants and unzipped me. I looked at her inquisitively. Sarah turned my head towards her and kissed me. Jennifer managed to wriggle my manhood out of the hole in front of my underwear while I was still kissing Sarah. I felt Jennifer's hand grab hold of my member, just as the rollercoaster started falling.

How Jennifer could work her way around me while we were twirling about at high velocity was beyond me, but the rush was unbelievable. I was screaming at the top of my lungs along with everyone else, the blood rushing into my shaft as Jennifer pumped. The ride seemed to last forever; just as I was about to release, the ride slowed down, returning to its original position. Jennifer hurriedly hid my manhood back into my underwear, and I buttoned it. I felt both ecstatic and queasy. We got off the ride and quickly darted back into the crowd, in case someone had noticed. My entire sex was on fire from the experience. Jennifer dragged me and Sarah towards the women's bathroom and told us to wait there. She went in, then rushed out and pulled me in. We moved into a stall; Jennifer asked Sarah to act as a lookout.

"What are you doing?"

Jennifer just told me to close my eyes and enjoy. I was a bit scared but I let her proceed. Jennifer removed her shorts and panties and hung them on the hook inside the door. She then sat on the bowl.

"Jenn, I'm not sure I want to...
"Be quiet, now. Don't worry about anything."

Her tone was convincing enough that I decided to let her proceed. She unbuttonned my pants and lowered them along with my underwear. I was still hard. She pulled her shirt above her breasts and I noticed she was not wearing any bra.

She slid my shaft between her large mounds and started kneading them. I noticed she slid one hand between her legs and started playing with herself. For a moment, I felt I should stop her - but that moment passed quickly. With her tongue, she licked the end of my shaft. I held back a moan. She whispered.

"Tell me when you're about to cum."

I tried to comply, but the excitation was getting the better of me. I was now assisting her in her endeavour, and I was enjoying every minute of it. It was easy to forget about Sarah on the other side of the stall door, far too easy I would realize later. I suddenly realized I was very near my climax. She slowed the pace down, then put het feet on the bowl and raised herself so her own sex was at the level of my own, her naked behind resting on the upper portion of the ceramic. She placed my hands under her armpits so I could support her; with one hand, she stimulated herself, with the other, she stimulated me.

It took me everything not to moan when I released onto her own sex, on her wet lips, and I saw my semen dribble down into the open bowl. She achieved orgasm a moment later, her moving hand mixing my juices with her own. As I leaned forward, my tip touched her sex. She held me at bay, for I would probably have slid into her, despite having already released and our precarious position. She looked at my shaft, then at her sex and smiled. We wiped ourselves quickly with the toilet paper, then I pulled up underwear and trousers, and she let me out.

It was there I saw Sarah, leaning against the counter. And that was the first moment of stress. She took me by the hand and led me out of the women's bathroom. A woman saw me exiting, but said nothing. We quickly moved some distance from there, just enough to still be seen by Jennifer when she would come out.

Sarah looked perplexed, and I was scared that I might have done something wrong.

"How was it?"

I did not know what to answer. The question felt like a trap.

"Did you fuck her?
"No... No, I didn't. Sarah, are you okay?
"I don't know, Jim."

I tried to hug Sarah but she wouldn't let me close. Her reaction was the opposite of the one she'd had the previous weekend, when after Jennifer had been with her she insisted I be with her as well. Now, she was pulling back. I was trying to make sense of her reaction, but maybe there was nothing to decipher.

"Sarah, talk to me.
"This is going too fast. Maybe.
"We can slow it down."

Remorse was creeping its way up my spine. Sarah's distance from me only made things creepier. Sarah finally managed to find words to express herself.

"I don't get why I should be jealous.
"It's normal.
"Not for me. I've never been jealous before.
"You grow, you change.
"I'm not sure I want to change. I'm happy you had fun, but I'm tormented it wasn't with me.
"All right. Well, we know how you feel here, so that's something, right?
"I suppose."

We saw Jennifer exiting the bathroom, looking for us. Sarah motioned to her. Before Jennifer reached us, Sarah recomposed herself and spoke discreetly to me.

"It has to be all three of us. That's all I know. I can share you, but only if I'm there. I don't understand it, but that's how it is. For now.
"I understand."

I finally managed to place a hand on her shoulder and pull her in. We kissed. Jennifer reached us. She obviously realized something was up with Sarah, but Sarah preempted any question.

"I'm fine."

Jennifer did not insist. Jennifer decided to call our date off. I invited them both to my apartment so I could cook something for them. While I was preparing the food, they sat in my living room. I barely heard their conversation, but it was clear it was about the day's events and our tentative relationship.

After supper, the girls washed the dishes. We talked about our evening plans and we decided to play strip poker. We set up the game and played several rounds. I was the first one naked, but Jennifer was not far behind me, with only her panties remaining. Sarah had been lucky, and had only lost her socks and top. Since I was naked, I started wagering myself in the mix. Sarah set the bet.

"If you lose, you have to give oral sex to the winner."

I agreed. Given the level of intimacy I'd experienced earlier with Jennifer, my reservations had flown out the window. We played the round. I won, so Sarah lost her pants and Jennifer her panties. The bet remained, only it now included if Jennifer lost.

We played another round. I was confident of a win with my two pairs, but Jennifer surprised me with a full house. Suddenly, the reality of the bet set in : I would have to perform oral sex on Jennifer. Sarah removed her panties, remaining only in her bra.

Jennifer told me to lie down on my back, so I did. She lowered her crotch onto my face. I stared at Sarah for a moment, but she gave me the go-ahead. I buried my face inside Jennifer's sex and started working her. I was unaccustomed to her taste, so I had a hard time getting started.

I suddenly felt lips around my own hardening shaft. Sarah was sucking on me. That gave me the incentive I needed and I started working hard on Jennifer. Within moments, she was moaning with pleasure. I had never imagined I was very good at oral sex, but apparently I was good enough for Jennifer. Sarah's mouth around my own shaft was an incredible turn-on.

Sarah pulled away and told Jennifer to turn around. She presented her behind to me as she sat back down. I went back to work. I felt two tongues start licking me. Jennifer and Sarah were kissing around my shaft, and it was driving me crazy.

Sarah pushed Jennifer back up and sat on me, sliding me into her, as I kept working on Jennifer. My mind was blank: a few weeks before, I would never have been able to even imagine such an event. Yet it was happening, and I seemed to be okay with it. Somewhere along the road, my limitations had been altered; my own morality had been diluted. At the moment, I was too engrossed in the event to think anything of it.

Sarah and Jennifer were kissing passionately, and it was all I could not to stare at their beautiful naked forms. Jennifer pushed down on my face and I resumed my stimulation of her, using my fingers along with my tongue and mouth. Her own orgasm rocked my own, and I released into Sarah. There was a loud moan or scream, I was not sure who was uttering it - maybe all of us - and then silence as the two girls collapsed on each other and on me.

For a long while, we remained there, letting the reality of our sexual encounter set in. Sarah pulled off of me while Jennifer slid sideways. Each took a side, Sarah on the right, Jennifer on the left, and we kissed. For a moment, everything was perfect, everything was in harmony; we were content in our three person relationship.

Then, Jennifer spoke.

"So, Jim... any chance I might get to feel you in my pussy?"

For some reason, her comment stirred something in me that shook me all over.

"No... No, I don't think that's going to happen, Jennifer. Sorry."

The bluntness of my answer took us all by surprise.

"It was great. It was unbelievable. Better than I'd ever fantasized. But... I don't think I'll be able to do it on a regular basis. I don't think..."

The words trailed off into silence.

"I see."

Jennifer's voice sounded sad. She got up.

"I think I should go.
"Jenn?"

Sarah got up too. I just laid there on my back.

"Jenn, you don't have to leave.
"I think I do, Sarah. I think... this is it. I don't think it gets better after this."

I was looking away so I could not see their faces. I could hear the resolution in Jennifer's voice and the deception in Sarah's. Something had snapped in me, and in return, I had snapped something in Jennifer. Our dream of a threesome was unraveling.

"It was fun, Jim."

Jennifer was getting dressed. I lost track of their conversation, lost in my own world, lost in my own inhibitions, unable to comprehend my reaction. Had I not just experienced every man's fantasy? Why was I reacting this way? Was it my morality returning, after taking a few weeks ofvacation?

I heard the door close, and then I heard Sarah heading for the bathroom. I just laid there, on my back, in my living room, taking in the world, unable to rise, move or do anything. I was lost, utterly and completely lost. My mind was telling me to go see Sarah and console her, but nothing was happening.

I was broken.

[interesting]

I have been crying for the past few days. I have never been much of a drama queen, but I think right now, crying is all I have the energy to do.

It's better now, because at least I don't cry in front of Jim. I keep asking myself if this is all my fault. I was the one who suggested we try to work out a three-person relationship. The way things have gone, I'm likely to end up in a one-person relationship. Maybe I overestimated Jim's openness. Maybe I underestimated Jennifer's desires. Maybe this whole idea was simply stupid.

It's been a little under a week since Jennifer walked out after our threesome, and so far, I haven't had the chance to talk to her. That's only because she's never at home and she won't answer her cell. If she's mad at me, I'd hope she would just come out and say it, and we could talk about it. If she's mad at Jim, to be honest, I wouldn't blame her. I'm almost mad at him myself. He led her on. Then again, so did I. If I start playing the blame game, it will never end.

I did get the chance to speak to Jim about it, at least. It wasn't very productive but it cleared the air. He told me that he had reached his limit. He did not know it was his limit while we were having the threesome, but Jennifer's question about feeling him inside her made him snap - he realized he was one step removed from an actual affair. And if he did sleep with Jennifer, what was to prevent him from doing it over and over again, whether I was there or not. Why not go out with Jennifer instead, he asked me. He said he felt sorry for taking advantage of the situation, and that's why he needed to set some distance between him and her.

I had explained to Jim that when we started experimenting, we agreed to see how far it would take us, and we never promised each other anything. I told him he should speak to Jennifer about it, but he said didn't trust Jennifer to be calm about it. I've known Jennifer for a while, so I told him that Jennifer will not be the one to make the first move. All Jim answered is that there might then never be another move done.

The worst thing about this whole affair is that it happened right before examination week. My mind is completely bursting from the stress, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to fail at least half of my tests because of it. This may sound egotistical, but my concern is more for my academic future than the survival of my two relationships. I have barely seen Jim this week and Jennifer avoids me. I have not had sex since that fateful night, which is a long time for me. I have not even take the time to pleasure myself. I feel like I'm drifting away from my two best friends and it makes me scared.

That Friday, after my last exam, I call Jim. We talk a little but he says he'll be doing corrections for the whole weekend; I know he's avoiding me and I want to scream at him, but I let it slide. I want to call up Jennifer but she'll just give me the cold shoulder. I end up calling Thomas, and he invites me over for dinner at his place. I get all dressed up fancy, put on some makeup, as if I'm going out on date. Somewhere inside me, I'm hoping to get laid. It's not as if I haven't done a few things with Thomas in the past. But Jim's image keeps popping up in my mind. I'm still technically with him, and I want to be with him.

When I get to Thomas' apartment, I'm an emotional wreck. Thomas opens the door and smiles at me. I try to smile, but I just start crying and fall into his arms.

"Sarah?... What's going on?"

I try to speak, but words won't make their way past the knot in my throat. He squeezes me in his strong arms and I remain there, huddled against his form.

"We did..."

Thomas puts a finger on my lips, closes the door and drags me to his living room. He sits me down on his sofa, then sits beside me and lays my head on his shoulder. I go further and lean in, resting my head against his hips, as he caresses my hair. We remain like that for a long while, the tears finally drying up. I manage to speak.

"I did something bad, Tom.
"Sarah, you can tell me anything."

His smile is so warm it makes me feel a little better. I hesitate for about an instant, then I spill my guts about everything: Jennifer, Jim, the incidents, the dates, the threesome, my heartbreak, my lack of sex. He listens patiently. The weight off my chest is incredible. The knots in my throat and stomach are gone, and I suddenly realize I'm famished. I have barely been eating all week.

"Are you gonna live, Sarah?
"Yeah... I'm... thanks Tom. I love you.
"Love you too. You should eat something."

We move to the kitchen. He's prepared pasta. I wolf down my plate before he even gets to his own.

"Emotions tend to do that."

He smiles as he says it, taking his first bite out of his plate. I laugh and stare at my now empty plate, a metaphor for my current situation.

"Tom... what am I going to do?
"To be honest with you, I don't know. For the sex part, although I'd be happy to oblige, I don't think it would be wise.
"No, it wouldn't."

He takes a few more bites before speaking.

"If it makes you feel better, you're not the only one experiencing heartbreak... I think I'm in love too, and I don't think it's requited.
"You? Who?
"Jimmy.
"Your boxing friend?
"Yeah... something happened a few weeks back and... well...
"What happened?"

He tells me about his encounter with Jimmy in the shower. He is calm about it: he's obviously had time to digest the events.

"Thing is, he seemed to enjoy it as much as I did... but... he's never been gay before. I mean, he's not gay...
"That you know of. Maybe he's bi?
"I don't think so. I don't understand why he did it. He said it was for fun. And it was great!"

I look at Tom and sympathize. When you're in the middle of a situation, it's easy to forget about the troubles your friends have. I'm not the only one uneasy about my feelings for the people I love. Silently, I ponder at giving him a blowjob to soothe his body; but I come to the same conclusion as he does. Sex is not a solution, it's just an ointment we put on the wound that covers it up but doesn't heal it. Still, the thought of sucking Tom's sex makes me all wet. I really need some gratification in the near future.

"I think I can handle Jennifer... if she'll speak to me. I'm more worried about Jim.
"If you'd like, I can talk to Jennifer on your behalf. You should handle Jim.
"Yeah... I'd love to handle Jimmy for you.
"He might like it."

We both laugh. We decide to watch a movie. To avoid temptations, we choose an action flick. In the middle of the movie, my phone vibrates. My caller I.D. tells me it's Brad. I answer.

"Brad?
"Sarah... lovely... you busy?
"Yes and no. I'm with Tom.
"Not with your boyfriend?
"Don't get me started!
"Oh... Sorry.
"Nah it's okay. What do you want?
"I'd like... to ask you out.
"Brad?
"Not like that."

Thomas is looking at me inquisitively. He's paused the movie.

"I need to talk to someone.
"Pick a number!"

Thomas doesn't understand why I'm laughing. He can't hear Brad'S side of the conversation.

"Can Tom come along?
"Sure... I'd be happy to have his insight. I just need... I need my friends.
"Where are you?
"I'm... at the Sea-Side."

I know the place. It's a small bar that lies just beside the beach; it has a beachfront. I ask Tom if he wants to go meet up with Brad. I mention that I think Brad is having his own problems. Tom agrees to go.

"We'll be there in twenty minutes.
"Great. Thanks a lot. See you soon.
"And you. Bye."

I hang up.

"Girl troubles?
"I don't know. Maybe."

We head out. We walk the distance because neither Tom nor I have a car. Besides, the Sea-Side is not that far from Tom's place.

We get there a little sooner than expected and we find Brad sitting on a stool on the beachside. After hugs and kisses, we sit down and the waitress comes over. We order drinks and she departs.

"So glad to see you both."

I stare at Brad. Something is different about him, but Tom is the one to pick it up.

"What happened to your eyebrows?... And your body hair?"

That's the detail. Brad doesn't have eyebrows. He wears short sleeves and his arms are clean, not even a stubble. He's shaved his arms and eyebrows. Maybe more, but we can't see it.

"It's a complicated story, so I'll start from the beginning. You remember Brigitte?
"Well, I answer, we know what you told us about her.
"I've started seeing her again. She's forgiven me for... my past mistakes.
"You got into an accident with her, right?
"And then dumped her!"

Thomas is too enthousiastic about that last remark. I cool him down as the waitress returns with our drinks. We pay and tip her.

"Yeah... well. I've got a lot to atone for. I can't go into details, but I can tell you I'm winning her back. One day at a time.
"She got you to shave, right?
"Yeah.
"Everywhere?
"Everywhere."

I can't help but smile. In the past, I've seen Thomas and Barry naked and shaved; seeing a man's sex clean shaven is so hilarious to me. I'm almost eager to ask Brad for the final result, but I keep my ideas to myself. Tom picks up the conversation.

"Is it going according to plan? Are you gonna hook up with her again?
"We are... maybe."

I intervene.

"How can we help?
"Here's the thing. I really did a number on her last summer so she's making me pay for it.
"And you want to get back with her?"

Thomas is almost shocked.

"You... don't know her. She's...
"Powerful, right?"

Brad looks at me with an intrigued look.

"Can I tell you why it didn't work between you and me, Brad?
"I guess so.
"You're a submissive.
"And?
"So am I. Someone has to take the lead, and in your case, it's Brigitte. Am I right?"

He smiles shyly and looks away. Thomas' eyes widen as he understands.

"Oh! She's got you running through hoops.
"Don't say it too loud. She doesn't want people to know.
"She doesn't?
"Well, it's more like... if people know, they'll understand. She's... humiliating me.
"And you like it?
"I do.
"Have you had sex? I inquire.
"Yes. Well, sort of. She's doing all the work; I'm on the receiving end. How is that relevant?"

I think about his situation, reflecting on mine as much as Thomas'.

"How much control does she have over you?
"Only when we're together."

Brad lowers his voice.

“I'm her slave.”
"That's what I thought. Are you allowed to tell us your limits?
"No. She doesn't want me to.
"Okay. I won't insist."

Thomas looks perplexed.

"I get it. I don't see how we can help.
"Well. When I initially left her, it was... because of Sarah. I wanted to get Sarah back... and I goofed up. Anyway, that's in the past. But... she wants to meet you.
"Me? I'm flattered.
"She wants to know what type of girl could snag me away.
"And me? asks Tom.
"Well, you're here now. This is more about Sarah, but I don't think she'd mind you knowing.
"So she wants to meet with me.
"Yeah."

Tom and Brad stare at me. Ideas are popping into my head, but I'm scared. Last time I had an idea, it backfired on me. I can't afford another mistake. Tom intervenes.

"You're thinking of killing many birds with one stone, right?
"Tom, I'm not sure any idea I have is good.
"Sarah, grow up."

Brad looks puzzled.

"What's going on?
"Let's just say Sarah and I have our own little problems at the moment.
"Oh... sorry to hear that.
"I'm thinking Sarah has a plan, but doesn't want to voice it aloud.
"Why not, Sarah?
"Because last time I had a brilliant idea, it caused the problem I'm in right now.
"You're not alone here, Sarah, Tom insists. Brad and me, we want to help. We need help too.
"I don't need help. I just need Sarah.
"Brad, just go along.
"Okay... fine. What's your idea, Sarah?"

I pause to think. If I voice it out, and Tom and Brad pick up on it, it will happen. Are the consequences of failure worst than letting things stay as they are? I've lost touch with Jennifer, Jim will barely speak to me and wants to avoid confrontation, Tom is aching for a man who may or may not be gay, Brad's girlfriend wants to meet with me (and humiliate him in front of me, I can read between the lines).

"Do you guys have anything planned... for spring break?
"That's next week.
"It is, Brad. Do you?
"No... Well... depends on Brigitte, but technically no.
"Tom?
"I have a match the other Sunday, after the week. Some training but otherwise nothing.
"Okay... Here's what I'm thinking. We invite our friends over for spring break. Hang at the beach. Tom, you get Jimmy and Jenn over. Brad, you tell Brigitte I'll meet her if she agrees to spend the week with us partying. I'll get Jim to go along.
"You two broke up?
"Not really. But... there's trouble. I can manage it.
"And what of spring break?"

I don't want to tell Thomas that I don't really have an answer. My goal is simply to get the people together, have fun, relax and maybe play some games. Try to reconnect the dots.

"What about the others? asks Brad.
"Others?
"Our other friends... Cassie, Claire...
"Those two are going away for the week to Florida. We might invite Bonnie and Barry, but I know they're also going on vacation somewhere... Don't know where though.
"So it would be the... seven of us?"

I did the math and came up with the same number.

"Yeah. Tom, do what you can to get Jennifer to speak to me. If we could speak before Monday...
"Okay... so how do we do it?
"Well, I say we meet up on Monday, around noon, at the beach. Right here."

I point to the beach beside the Sea-Side.

"And then, we see what we want to do for the week. Tom, I'm counting on you.
"Sarah, have I ever failed you?
"No you haven't... sometimes I wish I were a man!
"I wish the same thing, Tom replies."

Brad smiles. We both look at him.

"Well, if you were a man, we'd make one heck of threesome here..."

I smile. I'm glad Brad is over me. When he focuses on someone, he can be downright disconcerting. I'm getting a feeling that this Brigitte woman knows how to handle him. I can't wait to see her in action. I look back to Tom. He's trying to remain positive about this. I've seen that stare in his eyes before: he's thinking of Jimmy now, I know it. I'm thinking of Jennifer and Jim. My best friend, my boyfriend. I need to set things right with both of them. I'll start with Jim. I'll start tonight.

I'll drop by his place uninvited, I'll take him away from his work, I'll play with him, stimulate him, anyway he wants it, anyway he tells me to. I'll have sex with him, hard and heavy or soft and passionate, whichever he's in the mood for. I'll let him grope me, fondle me, do whatever he wants. I'll suck him dry if that's what he wants, I'll let him come into me as many times as he desires (or can). I'll be his sexual slave for the night.

Once he's got that out of his system, once I'll have felt him all over me, then we'll talk. Then we'll really talk about these things, and I won't let him avoid me. I love him. I don't want to break up with him. I'll do whatever it takes. Whatever else now happens in my life, Jim is to be part of it. Otherwise, it's not worth the effort. I never thought someone could mean so much to me. But he does.

He's right. We've both changed since we've been together. It's time to evaluate that change; it's time to reflect on who we are and who we want to be. I only know that whoever I am will be in love with him.

I hope Brad and Tom can find the certainty I'm now experiencing. I hope everything works it. It's the beginning of spring, after all.