Toilet Quest – a bladder adventure

tigerclawz · 04-16-2016, 07:08 AM

You are a brave Adventurer in a medieval fantasy world. Your Quest? To find treasure and glory... or at least a bathroom.
Being an honorable adventurer, you only pee when the story leads you to a toilet – which might take a while depending on your choises.

Good thing you went to pee just before starting this. To give you the strength to get started, enjoy a mighty potion! (cup of coffe or energy drink or a pint of water)

Obviously, use common sence, don´t do anything you´re uncomfortable with, stop if feeling unwell etc.
Choose your option and reveal the spoiler to see what it gets you.If you don´t advance in the story, choose a different option after doing the punishment.
Try not to read the next question before playing the current one – possible spoilers ;-)

__________________________________________________ ______________

1. You are in a forest. There is a bridge to the North. There is a path to the South.

A. Head for the Bridge

Spoiler:

An angry troll with a huge club guards the bridge. The size of his club frightens even a mighty warrior like you, but you decide to act tough. Mysteriously though, strange moisture spreads in your pants from an unknown source. (wet your pants with tap water, then choose B or C)

B. Stay where you are

Spoiler:

You wait for 15 Minutes. Nothing happens. Duh. (Wait 15 min, then choose A or C)

C. Head South along the path

Spoiler:

You follow the path to a clearing in the woods. Well done!

__________________________________________________ _

2. You find a table with a sword, a pen and a piece of paper with strange writing on it.

A. Grab the sword, do some cool moves and charge at the troll with it

Spoiler:

You stumble, fall and almost stab yourself. The troll doubles over in laughter. Exhausted an embarrased, you need a pint of water to recover.

B. Just take everything

Spoiler:

Your strength is pretty low for a warrior, so after 30 yards you feel tired and just drop everything. Drink a cup of water to recover, then choose A or C.

C. Read the paper

Spoiler:

The symbol of the Troll´s club is on the paper. They call themselves "Heaven´s Daemons". To join the club, you need to fill in the application. (Get a paper an write about ten lines explaining why you want to join the club, or just wait 5 min)

__________________________________________________ __________

3. The bridge is quite long. You can cross it by foot or just ask one of your new mates to borrow one of the wooden unicycles the Daemons are famous for.

A. Aaah I´ll just walk...

Spoiler:

You play it safe. You walk for 15 minutes, then drink a cup of water to recover form the exhausting walk. Go on straight to Question 5.

B. Ask a friendly-looking bard in black leather armor: "Can I please borrow your unicycle?"

Spoiler:

Only if you are worthy, young friend. You have 1 Minute to name 5 Heavy Metal Bands, one of them must also play Viking or Death metal!
If you fail, you have to drink 2 cups of water to borrow my bike. Of course, you can walk instead if you don´t like... water...
If you got the bands right or chose to drink, continue to question 4, else do A instead.

__________________________________________________ _____

4. Riding a unicycle takes a lot of balance. Try standing on one leg for a minute

A. Done, no problem!

Spoiler:

Well done, go on to question 5

B. Uhm... does it count if I grab my chair and fall over twice?

Spoiler:

You never rode one of those before, but you want to seem cool. You look real cool falling off the bridge but then you drown in the river. You rach the far end of the bridge, but swallow a lot of water in the process (drink 1 cup of water)

______________________________________

5. In the distance, you can see a small town with solid stone walls and a beautiful bell tower. There is vast farmland streching from the river all the way to the village, with a paved road winding its way gently towards the town gates. A travelling merchant with two donkeys pulling a cart loaded with hay smiles at you from up ahead.

A. Let him be on his way

Spoiler:

You like walking, anyway. Wait 30 minutes.

B. Threaten him with your sword

Spoiler:

"Drive me into town or I will stab you with... oh crap!" You remember that you left your sword as it was to heavy. Also, you only have two skill points in unarmed combat. The merchant is 7 feet tall, and angry. He grabs you, throws you into the nearby river and dunks your head under water.
Hold your breath!

How long did you last?
< 1 min? You swallow a lot of water, struggeling as the merchant nearly drowns you. Drink 2 cups of water
1-2 min? The fight is tough, you both struggle real hard. You swallow some water. Drink 1 Cup.
>2 min? Well done! You just wait under water patiently until the merchant thinks you had enough. No drink for you.

Anyway, you have to walk now. Wait 30 min. Before going to question 6

C. Beg him to take you to the town

Spoiler:

The merchant laughs in your face. "Do I look like a free taxi? But let´s have some fun! Why don´t you have a drinking contest with my horse? If you win, I´ll take you to town!"
if you accept, chug a pint of water in under 8 seconds. If you succed, wait 10 min. If you fail or decline the challenge, wait 30 min.

_____________________________________

6. As you approach a crossroads halfway to town, a leprechaun jumps out from the bushes!
He will only let you pass if you beat him in a game of rock paper scissors!

A. Rock!

Spoiler:

The leprechaun wraps his flat hand around your fist and laughs triumphantly. Drink a cup of water and try again.

B. Paper!

Spoiler:

Bad Luck! His fingers cut through your flat hand like... scissors through a piece of paper! Slap your wrist five times, then try again.

C. Scissors!

Spoiler:

His rockhard fist crushes your fingers. Wait 5 minutes to recover.

D. Tigerclaw!

Spoiler:

Screw the rules! Your long, sharp nails scare the lepechaun into reveiling his real name. Now, he has no more power over you. On his flight, the leprechaun drops a purse with 50 gold coins. Might aswell keep it. Proceed to the road crossing!

________________________________________

7. There is a group of people standing at the crossroads. In the middle of the crowd, two men are fighting each other. One is a tall, strong, fierce fighter with scars proving him to be a seasoned warrior. He wields a large, two-handed sword, hacking away at a midget with a club and wooden shield. He is bleeding from a laceration on the side of his skull, looking confused an desperatate.
You...

A. Ignore this whole mess and stroll on into town

Spoiler:

Wait 30 min

B. Decide to place a wager on the tall guy! 50 gold says he will crush his opponent with ease!

Spoiler:

You were right, obviously. The bookie knew that too. Your win: 51 gold coins – hurray! You use the 1 extra coin you earned to rent an old pony with a limp... still better than walking, eh? (wait 15 min)

C. Bet all your money on the small guy... and make sure you even the odds!

Spoiler:

You believe that the midget is a smart guy and that brain beats brawns in the end. You develop an cunning plan! After a few moments, you shove your way to the middle of the fight and yell: " Dragon! Take cover!". Unfortunately, the warrior is not fooled by your plan, but the small guy is. He freezes just long enough to be sliced in half by the mighty warrior. Who, by the way, looks angry now. So does the crowd.
Your only hope: challenge the victorious (and hopefully tired) champion to a push-up contest (yes, really...)
Roll a dice. Result times five is how many pushups he does.
If you beat that, you win his horse and ride to town (wait 10 min)
If you fail, he makes you drink 1 cup of water for every 5 push-ups he did more than you (rounded up) then you have to walk to town (wait 30 min).

D. Notify the authorities that illegal fighting and gambling is going on!

Spoiler:

The imperial wardens shut the whole operation down. You feel an inner glow from the fact that you did the right thing. You made the world a better place. Unfortunately, despite of this victory in the name order and justice, it is still the middle-ages so people are still primitive, simple and viscious. They hate snitches. They steal your gold and force a pint of water down your throat and send you on your way on foot. (wait 30 minutes)

__________________________________________________ ___

8. You reach the outskirts of the small farming town you were headed for. In the distance, you see town guards with helebards, wearing shiny armor. You decide that to get access to town, your best bet is to pretend being the new court jester. You reach into your old equipment bag from the imperial college of Clowns and fools. You produce...

A. a skipping rope

Spoiler:

You want to impress the guards with your rope jumping skills. If you get a hundred jumps in a row, surely they must let you in?
If you fail or refuse, have a cup of water and try one of the other items in your bag.

B. a bouncy ball

Spoiler:

First rule of Clown school: everybody loves seing someone get smashed in their netherregion. Sit towards a wall with spread legs and throw the ball at the wall until it bounces back directly onto your groin. That should make them like you, surely?
If you fail or refuse, have a cup of water and try one of the other items in your bag.

C. Nipple clamps

Spoiler:

It was a weird type of clown school. Don´t ask. You attach the clamps to your nipples and jump around for 3 minutes doing a funny dance. How can they refuse to let someone like that in?
If you fail or refuse, have a cup of water and try one of the other items in your bag.

D. A flask of water

Spoiler:

The finest art of the comedian is to avoid laughter, your old clowning instructor believed. Fill your mouth with water and watch a "Try not to laugh" video on youtube.
If you fail or refuse, have a cup of water and try one of the other items in your bag.

E. Bribe them instead

Spoiler:

If you chose A or B on question 7, you still have 50 gold coins with you and give them to the guards. Bribery works! Skip to question 10!
if you chose C or D on question 7: You have no more money, stupid! You are thrown in jail! Wait 45 min before skipping to question 10!

_________________________________________

9. You are so annoying the the guards decide to let you in just to get rid of you. They get to work on the paperwork, which is basically just writing down your name, but they cannot read or write so it takes a while...

Spoiler:

Wait 15 min before you continue

_____________________________________________

10. You reach the town center! Just in time, you could really use a loo at his point, right?

A. Ask a beggar for the way to the nearest toilet

Spoiler:

He explains: there are only two toilets in the city – one in the monestary and one in the tavern. However, the monks make you play by their rules and the toilet in the tavern is for customers only.

B. Wander around on your own

Spoiler:

A true adventurer never asks for directions! With pride and confidence, you walk down the nearest alley. The houses seen strangely familiar. Wait, isn´t this were you started? The beggar grins at you, realizing you are lost.
(wait 15 min then choose again
[hint: better choose A at some point or you might get stuck in an infinite feedback loop))

_________________________________________

11. So it´s either the Monks of eternal restraint or the tavern of the drunk dragon. Pick your poison!

A. Monks? Monestary? Restraint? Sounds fun!

Spoiler:

The monks are eager to welcome you into their luxurious bathroom. However, their order has a code of strict celibacy. They demand a vow that you will not sully their place of worship by enganging in worldly pleasures.
If you wish to pee now, you must not pleasure yourself for 24 hours.
Otherwise, you call try your luck in the tavern instead (wait 15 min, then choose option B)

B. Tavern sounds good!

Spoiler:

If you still have any money: You order a pint, finish it, pay 50 gold for it (yeah, you like the expensive stuff) and enjoy a well-deserved trip to the toilet. (drink a pit of water, wait 15 min, go pee)
If your money is gone: You will have to earn your drink first. Spend 15 minutes doing the dishes or complete another household chore that involves water. Then enjoy a nice pint followed by an even nicer bathrom break.

C. On second thought, maybe I´ll just hold it...

Spoiler:

You must have an iron bladder... No really, you must, because you start level 2 without relief, while everyone else gets to empty their bladder beforehand...

___________________________________

You decide to call it a day and find a quiet place to sleep behind a barn. You´ve just enjoyed the sweet feeling of relief (or have you?) and don´t feel worried about all that water still in your system. After all, should you need to go again, the tavern ist just over there – right?

But there!!! Suddenly,... (to be continued in level 2 (soonish...))

04-16-2016, 07:08 AM	#1
tigerclawz Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2016 Posts: 4	Toilet Quest – a bladder adventure You are a brave Adventurer in a medieval fantasy world. Your Quest? To find treasure and glory... or at least a bathroom. Being an honorable adventurer, you only pee when the story leads you to a toilet – which might take a while depending on your choises. Good thing you went to pee just before starting this. To give you the strength to get started, enjoy a mighty potion! (cup of coffe or energy drink or a pint of water) Obviously, use common sence, don´t do anything you´re uncomfortable with, stop if feeling unwell etc. Choose your option and reveal the spoiler to see what it gets you.If you don´t advance in the story, choose a different option after doing the punishment. Try not to read the next question before playing the current one – possible spoilers ;-) __________________________________________________ ______________ 1. You are in a forest. There is a bridge to the North. There is a path to the South. A. Head for the Bridge Spoiler: An angry troll with a huge club guards the bridge. The size of his club frightens even a mighty warrior like you, but you decide to act tough. Mysteriously though, strange moisture spreads in your pants from an unknown source. (wet your pants with tap water, then choose B or C) B. Stay where you are Spoiler: You wait for 15 Minutes. Nothing happens. Duh. (Wait 15 min, then choose A or C) C. Head South along the path Spoiler: You follow the path to a clearing in the woods. Well done! __________________________________________________ _ 2. You find a table with a sword, a pen and a piece of paper with strange writing on it. A. Grab the sword, do some cool moves and charge at the troll with it Spoiler: You stumble, fall and almost stab yourself. The troll doubles over in laughter. Exhausted an embarrased, you need a pint of water to recover. B. Just take everything Spoiler: Your strength is pretty low for a warrior, so after 30 yards you feel tired and just drop everything. Drink a cup of water to recover, then choose A or C. C. Read the paper Spoiler: The symbol of the Troll´s club is on the paper. They call themselves "Heaven´s Daemons". To join the club, you need to fill in the application. (Get a paper an write about ten lines explaining why you want to join the club, or just wait 5 min) __________________________________________________ __________ 3. The bridge is quite long. You can cross it by foot or just ask one of your new mates to borrow one of the wooden unicycles the Daemons are famous for. A. Aaah I´ll just walk... Spoiler: You play it safe. You walk for 15 minutes, then drink a cup of water to recover form the exhausting walk. Go on straight to Question 5. B. Ask a friendly-looking bard in black leather armor: "Can I please borrow your unicycle?" Spoiler: Only if you are worthy, young friend. You have 1 Minute to name 5 Heavy Metal Bands, one of them must also play Viking or Death metal! If you fail, you have to drink 2 cups of water to borrow my bike. Of course, you can walk instead if you don´t like... water... If you got the bands right or chose to drink, continue to question 4, else do A instead. __________________________________________________ _____ 4. Riding a unicycle takes a lot of balance. Try standing on one leg for a minute A. Done, no problem! Spoiler: Well done, go on to question 5 B. Uhm... does it count if I grab my chair and fall over twice? Spoiler: You never rode one of those before, but you want to seem cool. You look real cool falling off the bridge but then you drown in the river. You rach the far end of the bridge, but swallow a lot of water in the process (drink 1 cup of water) ______________________________________ 5. In the distance, you can see a small town with solid stone walls and a beautiful bell tower. There is vast farmland streching from the river all the way to the village, with a paved road winding its way gently towards the town gates. A travelling merchant with two donkeys pulling a cart loaded with hay smiles at you from up ahead. A. Let him be on his way Spoiler: You like walking, anyway. Wait 30 minutes. B. Threaten him with your sword Spoiler: "Drive me into town or I will stab you with... oh crap!" You remember that you left your sword as it was to heavy. Also, you only have two skill points in unarmed combat. The merchant is 7 feet tall, and angry. He grabs you, throws you into the nearby river and dunks your head under water. Hold your breath! How long did you last? < 1 min? You swallow a lot of water, struggeling as the merchant nearly drowns you. Drink 2 cups of water 1-2 min? The fight is tough, you both struggle real hard. You swallow some water. Drink 1 Cup. >2 min? Well done! You just wait under water patiently until the merchant thinks you had enough. No drink for you. Anyway, you have to walk now. Wait 30 min. Before going to question 6 C. Beg him to take you to the town Spoiler: The merchant laughs in your face. "Do I look like a free taxi? But let´s have some fun! Why don´t you have a drinking contest with my horse? If you win, I´ll take you to town!" if you accept, chug a pint of water in under 8 seconds. If you succed, wait 10 min. If you fail or decline the challenge, wait 30 min. _____________________________________ 6. As you approach a crossroads halfway to town, a leprechaun jumps out from the bushes! He will only let you pass if you beat him in a game of rock paper scissors! A. Rock! Spoiler: The leprechaun wraps his flat hand around your fist and laughs triumphantly. Drink a cup of water and try again. B. Paper! Spoiler: Bad Luck! His fingers cut through your flat hand like... scissors through a piece of paper! Slap your wrist five times, then try again. C. Scissors! Spoiler: His rockhard fist crushes your fingers. Wait 5 minutes to recover. D. Tigerclaw! Spoiler: Screw the rules! Your long, sharp nails scare the lepechaun into reveiling his real name. Now, he has no more power over you. On his flight, the leprechaun drops a purse with 50 gold coins. Might aswell keep it. Proceed to the road crossing! ________________________________________ 7. There is a group of people standing at the crossroads. In the middle of the crowd, two men are fighting each other. One is a tall, strong, fierce fighter with scars proving him to be a seasoned warrior. He wields a large, two-handed sword, hacking away at a midget with a club and wooden shield. He is bleeding from a laceration on the side of his skull, looking confused an desperatate. You... A. Ignore this whole mess and stroll on into town Spoiler: Wait 30 min B. Decide to place a wager on the tall guy! 50 gold says he will crush his opponent with ease! Spoiler: You were right, obviously. The bookie knew that too. Your win: 51 gold coins – hurray! You use the 1 extra coin you earned to rent an old pony with a limp... still better than walking, eh? (wait 15 min) C. Bet all your money on the small guy... and make sure you even the odds! Spoiler: You believe that the midget is a smart guy and that brain beats brawns in the end. You develop an cunning plan! After a few moments, you shove your way to the middle of the fight and yell: " Dragon! Take cover!". Unfortunately, the warrior is not fooled by your plan, but the small guy is. He freezes just long enough to be sliced in half by the mighty warrior. Who, by the way, looks angry now. So does the crowd. Your only hope: challenge the victorious (and hopefully tired) champion to a push-up contest (yes, really...) Roll a dice. Result times five is how many pushups he does. If you beat that, you win his horse and ride to town (wait 10 min) If you fail, he makes you drink 1 cup of water for every 5 push-ups he did more than you (rounded up) then you have to walk to town (wait 30 min). D. Notify the authorities that illegal fighting and gambling is going on! Spoiler: The imperial wardens shut the whole operation down. You feel an inner glow from the fact that you did the right thing. You made the world a better place. Unfortunately, despite of this victory in the name order and justice, it is still the middle-ages so people are still primitive, simple and viscious. They hate snitches. They steal your gold and force a pint of water down your throat and send you on your way on foot. (wait 30 minutes) __________________________________________________ ___ 8. You reach the outskirts of the small farming town you were headed for. In the distance, you see town guards with helebards, wearing shiny armor. You decide that to get access to town, your best bet is to pretend being the new court jester. You reach into your old equipment bag from the imperial college of Clowns and fools. You produce... A. a skipping rope Spoiler: You want to impress the guards with your rope jumping skills. If you get a hundred jumps in a row, surely they must let you in? If you fail or refuse, have a cup of water and try one of the other items in your bag. B. a bouncy ball Spoiler: First rule of Clown school: everybody loves seing someone get smashed in their netherregion. Sit towards a wall with spread legs and throw the ball at the wall until it bounces back directly onto your groin. That should make them like you, surely? If you fail or refuse, have a cup of water and try one of the other items in your bag. C. Nipple clamps Spoiler: It was a weird type of clown school. Don´t ask. You attach the clamps to your nipples and jump around for 3 minutes doing a funny dance. How can they refuse to let someone like that in? If you fail or refuse, have a cup of water and try one of the other items in your bag. D. A flask of water Spoiler: The finest art of the comedian is to avoid laughter, your old clowning instructor believed. Fill your mouth with water and watch a "Try not to laugh" video on youtube. If you fail or refuse, have a cup of water and try one of the other items in your bag. E. Bribe them instead Spoiler: If you chose A or B on question 7, you still have 50 gold coins with you and give them to the guards. Bribery works! Skip to question 10! if you chose C or D on question 7: You have no more money, stupid! You are thrown in jail! Wait 45 min before skipping to question 10! _________________________________________ 9. You are so annoying the the guards decide to let you in just to get rid of you. They get to work on the paperwork, which is basically just writing down your name, but they cannot read or write so it takes a while... Spoiler: Wait 15 min before you continue _____________________________________________ 10. You reach the town center! Just in time, you could really use a loo at his point, right? A. Ask a beggar for the way to the nearest toilet Spoiler: He explains: there are only two toilets in the city – one in the monestary and one in the tavern. However, the monks make you play by their rules and the toilet in the tavern is for customers only. B. Wander around on your own Spoiler: A true adventurer never asks for directions! With pride and confidence, you walk down the nearest alley. The houses seen strangely familiar. Wait, isn´t this were you started? The beggar grins at you, realizing you are lost. (wait 15 min then choose again [hint: better choose A at some point or you might get stuck in an infinite feedback loop)) _________________________________________ 11. So it´s either the Monks of eternal restraint or the tavern of the drunk dragon. Pick your poison! A. Monks? Monestary? Restraint? Sounds fun! Spoiler: The monks are eager to welcome you into their luxurious bathroom. However, their order has a code of strict celibacy. They demand a vow that you will not sully their place of worship by enganging in worldly pleasures. If you wish to pee now, you must not pleasure yourself for 24 hours. Otherwise, you call try your luck in the tavern instead (wait 15 min, then choose option B) B. Tavern sounds good! Spoiler: If you still have any money: You order a pint, finish it, pay 50 gold for it (yeah, you like the expensive stuff) and enjoy a well-deserved trip to the toilet. (drink a pit of water, wait 15 min, go pee) If your money is gone: You will have to earn your drink first. Spend 15 minutes doing the dishes or complete another household chore that involves water. Then enjoy a nice pint followed by an even nicer bathrom break. C. On second thought, maybe I´ll just hold it... Spoiler: You must have an iron bladder... No really, you must, because you start level 2 without relief, while everyone else gets to empty their bladder beforehand... ___________________________________ You decide to call it a day and find a quiet place to sleep behind a barn. You´ve just enjoyed the sweet feeling of relief (or have you?) and don´t feel worried about all that water still in your system. After all, should you need to go again, the tavern ist just over there – right? But there!!! Suddenly,... (to be continued in level 2 (soonish...))