Searching for Littles / Caregivers

[minimarshmellow]

How much contact needed or how to be a good caregiver are specific to each relationship. Something that may be great for me, may be terrible for someone else. There is no list of "Rules of being a caregiver". Just like in a normal D/s relationship, it takes communication to make things right for the people involved.

[minimarshmellow]

Originally Posted by MysticalMadness

Just a question for the littles here.

How important do you feel that routine is for you?

For the caregivers, How important is it for you to set a routine for your little?

I'm asking because I was in school full time, working 30-35 hours a week. Since it's summer vacation, Im not currently working and not in school. Since I'm alone while my family is out of town, Daddy has set rules like be naked all the time, scoot down the stairs on my bottom, and crawl around everywhere. I feel like the lack of working/school throws my routine off enough already, because I have no set time to be ready and out the door. The being naked (I just realized tonight) throws me off even more because I'm not even getting dressed. My brain has no cues to keep me in the routine that I created. Does anything think this is relevant, especially considering that I'm little?

Routines are VERY important. It is not just a little thing. People need some order in their lives to help keep them functional.

Try asking you Daddy to give you a set of chores each day. It may also help to have to get up at a certain time and make your bed as soon as you are out of it. That way you couldn't stay curled up all day. Having specific lunch and snack times could help too. Could even come up with a "Little School" concept. He assign you something to do some research on for like an hour. Choose the same time every day. Then at night you could tell him what you learned.

There are tons of ways to get a routine going. The hardest part is starting.

[dektirok]

Allo, I've been a... caregiver... for a long time now. New to the forums and wanted to come in and say hi.

For the caregivers, How important is it for you to set a routine for your little?

It's VERY important for a little to have a daily routine. There are a couple different styles, per say. The two main ones is a routine that you have set in stone that is expected each day whether reminded or not, as well as what Minimarshmellow said, a set of chores received daily.

Also, I'm a huge fan of the "Little School" concept. Encouraging a little to grow a touch each day is a wonderful thing. Plus it can be used to encourage her to enter "little space". For instance I had a little watch Frozen, Tangled, Little Mermaid and Tarzan, one a day, and then at the end of it let me know how they are all connected (she wasn't allowed to cheat and look it up on the internet).

[Miss B]

this monday I had an amazing little/cg session I just have to brag a bit about

It actually started sunday, we we're watching frozen together while chatting via kik (online), of course she littled for a little while but she snapped out of it quite quickly but it was fun. I send her to bed somewhat later.

When I woke up the next morning I checked my phone, I got a good morning message from her as usual, but this time it was something along the lines of:
hey hey heyyy missy wake up sleepyhead wake up
So I knew she woke up feeling little, somthing what never happend before. Because I am a long sleeper there was about an hour between that message and my awakening. So when I finally spoke to her she was in the weird stage of between little and "normal". Because I exactly know how to press her buttons I got her in little mode quickly by telling a story. But I got her deep into little. We had loads of fun making up stories but then she started to become a little mouthy so I send her to a corner for corner time. Suddenly it's quiet for about three minutes, something I didn't think to much of at first. But suddenly I get the message
Britt..
I knew she suddenly snapped out of little because she always calls me missy when she littles so I asked what was wrong.
She suddenly started crying because shw was send to the corner, that's how deep she was.
Best session so far, apart from the abrupt end.

[DoingMyBest]

Miss B - sounds like really got into it! shame about the sad ending.

Sorry to tweak the topic, but... Well, I'm trying to wrap my head around if I'm little or not, but irrespective of that, I am often emotionally retarded (not in an offencive sense, but a literal one - my emotions aren't fully developed/my responses to them as well and that's when I have them). I'm very much struggling to write this (and am making a lot of mistakes and correcting them), but am trying very hard to write it as though I would normally.

Anyway, I think I was maybe a little bit excited - I was making lunch (a big step for me recently) and I was cooking (not proper cooking, but making things hot... I'm struggling to do things, so even this is a step forwards and feels like an achievement when I do it). So I was a little bit pleased with myself for 1) eating and 2) "cooking" and a little excited as I was going to have turkey dinosaurs.

Anyhow, I accidentally burnt my finger (something that just flat out doesn't happen) and I'm trying to ffigure out if my regressional mind has meant my hand-eye might regress to an appropriate level as well? Then my reaction to it all was that, even though I'm a trained first aider, I didn't want to do anything to stop it getting worse and wanted someone to take care of it/me... Only, I also felt I'd get stroppy about being patronised because I know how to do it, even if I didn't want to do it on my own. To top it off, I no longer wanted to it eat and started telling lilone it and I were both stupid and was nearly in tears over it all... (This isn't easy for me to recollect even though it's all just happened and it's even harderer to actually write it properly and make sense [making sense being troublesome at the best of times])

"DoingMyBest [»] lilone: no want stoopid food now."
"DoingMyBest [»] lilone: no Dmby's just stupid and burnedy and should let lilone get on"

I have a tendency to refer to myself third person (using various people's nicknames for me) when regressed as well.

Anyway, I don't REALLY know what my point or question is, but I think a couple might be:

Is it normal to be self-destructive enough when stropping to refuse to do what you know you should (and would do in "standard mindset")? I.E. My not wanting to run my finger under the tap.
Is it unusual that one would feel patronised for having someone taking care of them telling/making them do it because you already know to/how? I.E. I felt I'd feel stroppier and a little patronised had a "caregiver" type told me to do it and mollycoddled me - despite craving so desperately for someone to do so.
Is it peculiar that I just wanted away from it so badly? To stop cooking and not eat anything and go sulk somewhere...

How does one cope with needing someone to hold them when there is no such option and they physically cannot bring themselves to ask for even a virtual cuddle?

As a parting aside, I no longer have my cuddly - Gibbs Ravenstein - as the ex-fiancee stole it and it means if I have a bout of oneirophobia, my backup coping mechanism and grounding point is gone (with the primary one being somon holding mee or even just a hug or touch) and it takes me hours, sometimes days to recover, nearly traumatising me...

(P.S. feels like a large jump to post here... And my chest is very nervous, even if my head's not...

P.P.S. Still sniffling over the whole thing and feel tears behind my eyes - although I don't cry literally.)

[minimarshmellow]

Originally Posted by DoingMyBest

Anyway, I don't REALLY know what my point or question is, but I think a couple might be:

Is it normal to be self-destructive enough when stropping to refuse to do what you know you should (and would do in "standard mindset")? I.E. My not wanting to run my finger under the tap.
Is it unusual that one would feel patronised for having someone taking care of them telling/making them do it because you already know to/how? I.E. I felt I'd feel stroppier and a little patronised had a "caregiver" type told me to do it and mollycoddled me - despite craving so desperately for someone to do so.
Is it peculiar that I just wanted away from it so badly? To stop cooking and not eat anything and go sulk somewhere...

How does one cope with needing someone to hold them when there is no such option and they physically cannot bring themselves to ask for even a virtual cuddle?

From my personal experience, yes. Sometimes the smallest of things throw me off and I just stop. For good example, I had a bug in my bed last night, instead of just throwing it out or something, I had a huge fit. Pointing, crying, and refusing to get in the bed.

Most littles want someone to take care of them, especially in the small things. Being little for many people is a stress relief from the big world. Without the extra help from a caregiver type, it can be really hard.

I have trained myself to have both a little side and caregiver side. That way, when I have a moment that little just -can't-, the caregiver side can pick up the slack and get the bug out of the bed, for example. (I probably sound super insane, but it works for me so yeah.) So when I have those nights where all I want to do is cuddle, the caregiver side gets me showered, and tucked in with a movie. Then I usually get some sort of treat the next day. That ranges from candy, to a new toy, to lunch out of the house.

Using small bribe things on yourself can be really helpful sometimes. Then big you is happy you are calmed, and little you is happy for the reward.

This world is a scary place, sometimes you need to be both caregiver and little.

[DoingMyBest]

See, that's the thing - as I've discussed with you, I have never allowed myself to fully immerse into a regression. Today, I basically just went "Well, nobody's going to look after you. You're doing work as well, so just get practical.". I basically switched everything off and autopiloted through the medical care, then spoke to lilone about it and carried on as before.

I don't like doing that. The off-switch. It's not good and it's not healthy. But discussing that'll derail this thread and it's not my intention. But I understand that duel role aspect. I don't even know what's happening in my head right now - trying to grasp the thought, type a couple of words and it's gone... But still trying to explain.

Ultimately, I'm not a caregiver for myself, I guess. I will always take care of others - even from a regressional state without stepping out of it. But taking care of myself isn't something I do. as can be seen by the fact there're actually 5 gD members who sporadically tell me to go and have a drink of water...

But bribing myself and tucking myself in and giving myself those comforts (the few I have, which are also usually sporadic - read, sweets when I sometimes leave the house and buy some and if they last the journey etc)... Just... I feel like there's a combination of a carer and a caregiver needed, in person sometimes...

I'm just waffling without being cohesive now, so probably best to just ignore the above, but it's there now...

And I often just want the world to go away. I've gone my longest stretch of letting it in now (over the last 6 years) - so far, I'm at about 5 weeks, I think...

[xoxosassy]

I am a little :3

[minimarshmellow]

How is everyone been doing?

With school starting back up, it sparked another question.

How do you (as a little or caregiver) deal with heading back to school?
How are you able to find time for "little time"?
Do you have specific rules and routines for school time?

[lilsissy]

Im a little girl XDD

[Leopard]

Originally Posted by DoingMyBest

I don't like doing that. The off-switch. It's not good and it's not healthy.

I completely disagree with this. You say it's not healthy and then immediately produce multiple examples where it would have been much healthier for you to do.

In an ideal world it wouldn't be a thing, but realistically in a world when we're often left alone and have to overcome the issues with online relationships, being able to take over and be responsible is extremely important, because there is a very high chance you will be left high and dry at times.

Of course it probably isn't a desirable thing, but I would never suggest saying something like that to encourage littles to be less responsible for themselves when the need arises.

[moxie]

I wholeheartedly agree!

Originally Posted by Leopard

I completely disagree with this. You say it's not healthy and then immediately produce multiple examples where it would have been much healthier for you to do.

In an ideal world it wouldn't be a thing, but realistically in a world when we're often left alone and have to overcome the issues with online relationships, being able to take over and be responsible is extremely important, because there is a very high chance you will be left high and dry at times.

Of course it probably isn't a desirable thing, but I would never suggest saying something like that to encourage littles to be less responsible for themselves when the need arises.

[richteen]

i'm a little boy with no daddy

[LittleGirlSarah]

Hello everyone...I've just joined the site and was directed to this thread because I am a Little!!! I'm so sorry my profile isn't filled out yet, I just found the site today and I am taking it slow. But I'd love to talk to potential Daddies and caregivers and other littles and I wanted to say hello. Hello!! ^^

[minimarshmellow]

Originally Posted by LittleGirlSarah

Hello everyone...I've just joined the site and was directed to this thread because I am a Little!!! I'm so sorry my profile isn't filled out yet, I just found the site today and I am taking it slow. But I'd love to talk to potential Daddies and caregivers and other littles and I wanted to say hello. Hello!! ^^

*waves excitedly* HIYA! Welcome to the site. Feel free to ask questions/make comments here about little things. Also, if you need some help with the site, feel free to contact me directly and I will point you in the right direction. Again, welcome to getdare's little community!